Bodie Language By Katrinka Ray Doyle knew from the first moment he saw Bodie, that he had to have him. It was the eyes that attracted him first. They were blue, they reminded him of the sky right before a rain storm. The way Bodie seemed so at ease with his sexuality. He was beautiful and knew it. Bodie was a turn-on, there was no denying that. Ray had been a cooper, and liking blokes wasn't looked on too kindly by his superiors. So mostly he went out with girls. He liked woman. Bisexual was what they called it, loving both men and woman. Ray was attracted to both. Bodie in particular. He kept his feelings to himself, as he tried to suss his new partner out. It was an open fact that Bodie dated men, but he also had a continuous stream of girlfriends. Woman his partner insisted didn't mean anything to him. Two months after they were first partnered, they were on a stake-out, they had been assigned to watch an empty house to see if anyone came back. It was a lonely, boring job. They sat by the window, their chairs beside each other. Ray had some classical music playing on the stereo. Bodie looked more sexy then usual, wearing a jet black polo necked shirt, and a black leather jacket. //Damn, the man looks good in black.// "Can I ask you something?" Bodie looked up to him. "Go ahead, ask," Ray replied. "Do you even own a suit, or do you only own one pair of jeans?" Ray didn't know what to say, he wasn't sure if it was a put down, or what. Then he noticed the smile that tugged at Bodie's lips. "So you think I should dress up?" "Occasionally would be nice," Ray could read desire in Bodie's eyes. "Your jeans are a bit distracting to me. Can't be doing my job, if I'm always looking at your cute little ass," That shook Ray almost down to the core, Bodie liked his ass. He decided to take the chance. He kissed Bodie. He was surprised by the fierceness of Bodie's response. Then just as suddenly, his partner pulled away from him. "Sunshine, don't take this personally, but I don't think we should become involved." "I don't understand, I thought you wanted me," "I do, but I've found it isn't a good thing for partners to become involved sexually." Bodie ran his finger down Doyle's cheek. "Personal feelings can get in the way, what if we broke up? It could affect our performance together, so I would rather wait until we are no longer partners. Please Ray, try to understand." "I do, thanks for being so honest." "Anytime," Ray could see regret in his partner's eyes. * * * They worked together for years. Ray not ever daring to share his secret with Bodie, not after that he had been brushed off by him. He wasn't sure when he fell in love with Bodie, just one day knew he was. He still wondered if his partner cared for him. The way that Bodie was always touching him, almost made up for the fact that they weren't lovers. Then he met Anne Holly, a woman who reminded him so much of Bodie. Not in looks, but in personality. Anne had that quietness that Bodie always had. The way she kept feelings in that made her look cold, even though he knew that underneath that cold exterior was something worth digging for. He had put all his feelings for Bodie into is relationship with Anne. The affair had been short intense, and it had ended. He had stood there in the parking lot, as he watched her car drive away. He felt as if he had not only lost Anne, but Bodie too. Then just as suddenly, Bodie was there, telling him he would drive him home. Even though nothing had happened between them sexually, Ray never felt so close to his partner before. Esther was a rebound relationship. They had moved in together because of their assignment, not because they had wanted too. Ray had become involved with her, at first because it made the nights seem less lonely, then later, because he really cared for her. He liked her a lot, but she wasn't Bodie. The weeks they had spent together were wonderful. It helped that his partner was undercover, so they didn't have to see each other so much. * * * Bodie took Ray to his apartment after filing the last report. "Do you mind if I come in?" "No, you're welcome. " Bodie took the key from Ray, and unlocked the door. Ray went in and sat down on the settee. Bodie walked over to the bar. "Want a drink?" "Sure," The place still reminded him of Esther, even though she had gone home earlier that day. He knew he would have to move out. As soon as the case died down, he would request a new apartment. Bodie poured two drinks. He went over to the settee and sat down. As he handed Ray the drink, he said. "I'm sorry about Esther," "Yeah, I am too," Ray took a long drink. It was the Australian wine that Esther had bought for him. "She was too good for me," "You thinking of joining her in Hong Kong?" "What would I do in Hong Kong?" Ray asked. "You'd be with her for one." Bodie pointed out. "Besides, the Hong Kong police are always looking for new coppers." "There's only one problem, I don't want to leave Britain," "Why not?" Ray looked away from Bodie. He couldn't tell him that he couldn't leave him. Ray never felt so foolish before in his life. He should be hurting for Esther, but he wasn't, Bodie was the one he wanted. He turned to Bodie, deciding to take the plunge. He kissed his friend, his partner's lips where silky smooth. He could feel Bodie tense up. Ray pulled away from him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." "Your...." "I'm a damned fool," Ray looked away from his confidant. "You didn't want to kiss me?" "I did." He stopped himself, "No, I didn't mean to say that." "You shouldn't be sorry for your feelings," Bodie said gently. "Can we pretend this didn't happen?" Ray asked. "We'll drop this if you can answer one question." "All right, ask." That was better than nothing. "How long have you felt this way about me?" "A long time...I can't remember when, I know that I should keep those feeling to myself." Ray looked away. "I know we had an agreement," "How long have you been bisexual?" "As long as I remember," Ray couldn't look at Bodie. "Nothing's going to be the same anymore-- is it? Are you going to ask for a new partner? I wouldn't blame you if you did." "Do you always jump to conclusions, my son?" Bodie asked gently. "What do you mean?" "I've always found woman nice for blind sex, but if I got the choice for a commitment, I would pick you." Ray turned to Bodie, surprised. Bodie reached out and touched the side of Ray's face. "You should have told me earlier. Do you know how hard it's been not to let you know I love you? When you moved in with Esther, I thought I'd lost you forever." "I only moved in with her because Cowley ordered me too," Ray reminded him. "It was part of the job, nothing else." "I know. Later, it was more then that wasn't it? Esther told me that she really cared for you," "Why would she tell you that?" "We were part of an operation, she thought I would be happy for her, she didn't know I how I felt for you..." Finally it dawned on Ray. "You were jealous," "Yes, I was," Bodie admitted. "Every time I thought of the two of you together...I wanted to tell her that you were mine, but your not, are you?" "You were the one that said we shouldn't get involved," Ray pointed out. "I know, I regretted saying that. I wanted to tell you I changed my mind, but there never seemed to be a chance." There was a long pause between them. Bodie's hand dropped. He turned from his partner, embarrassed. Bodie picked up the bottle of wine, and the glasses, then he got up, and took them to the kitchen. Ray could hear Bodie clanging around in there, for what seemed like the longest time. He could hear Bodie open and shut cabinets. So this was what his partner was going to do, avoid the situation. Ray knew that he only avoided things if they got to close to home. Ray got up and went into the kitchen. Bodie was putting up the dishes that Esther had washed up the night before. He didn't look up to Ray, just brushed passed him as if he wasn't there. Finally Ray spoke. "You'll never loose me." Bodie looked at his partner, he was holding a plate. "Are you sure?" "I love you, I don't leave people I love," Bodie's hands began to tremble, so hard that Ray was afraid he would drop the plate. Ray went over to him and took the plate away from him, and set it down on the counter. The fear that Bodie had been feeling was etched over his face. Bodie had let his guard down. A wall he had worked so hard to keep up. Ray touched his cheek, and kissed his partner, this time, he was allowed. Bodie opened his mouth to him, and as they kissed, Ray could feel the tears that were falling down his face. Bodie's arms went around him, holding him tighter then he had ever before. "I love you Ray," Bodie whispered to him. "I love you too," They kissed again for the longest time. Ray finally was able to ask Bodie something that he had always wanted to. "Do you want to go to bed?" "Yes, but not in your room," "What's wrong with my room?" "You and Esther...I couldn't make love to you there, without thinking...." "I'm sorry, I didn't realise. There is a guest bedroom, I never slept with her there." "Promise?" "I would never lie to you," "Good," Bodie kissed him again. He broke away from him. "You better show me this room, or I'm going to come all over your kitchen." Ray couldn't help but smiling at that. He led his new lover to the guest room. As soon as they entered the room, Bodie crushed his partner to him, kissing him, as he did, he fumbled with Doyle's buckle, opening it, and unzipping his pants. As he did that, Ray undressed Bodie. As soon as they were both nude, Bodie crushed Ray to him, and pulled him to the bed. Ray was hot, and he could feel that Bodie was too. There was no time to do anything besides rub their bodies against each other. Soon, too soon, Ray had come, followed quickly by Bodie. As they came down from the come, Bodie crushed Ray against him, holding him, as if he were afraid that if he let go, all this would end. Finally, after Bodie got his breath back, he softly said "Ray," "Yeah Bodie," "You know, I've got a new apartment...would you consider moving in with me?" "Are you sure you want me too? We haven't be together for very long..." "How long have we been partners?" Bodie pointed out. "I feel like we've been together a long time, just never took the last step." "What would Cowley say?" Ray could feel Bodie's lips caress his forehead. "Don't worry about him, I can deal with him." "If Cowley gives his approval, I'll move in." "I love you," "I love you too Bodie," Bodie's lips went lower, finding Ray's mouth. Ray now knew that no matter what happened, he would have Bodie with him.