Title: The Promise 1/?

Author: Kyoko_godaikun

Pairing: Uchi/Ohkura in this part. Ohkura/Ryo in later parts

Genre: Angst

Rating: PG

Warning: Character death

Summary: Uchi once was the lover of Ryo. But Ryo left him when he became a trainee. Then Uchi fell in love with Ohkura. He had wanted to spend his life with Ohkura, but he never knew his life would be so short. He makes Ryo promise to take care of Ohkura. Will Ryo do as he promised, or will he destroy Ohkura's life?



Kanjani 8 was rehearsing for an upcoming concert. Uchi Hiroki had finally graduated from trainee status to member of Kanjani 8. It was almost as if Uchi had never left. Everyone in the group had known that Ryo had broken up with Uchi, but they thought of it as a phase. They knew that Uchi would move back in with Ryo.

Uchi had gone on with his life. Moving on to someone else, because he wasn't the type to sit around and wait for Ryo to take him back. He would never go back to Ryo. He had a new lover, one that he loved more then anything.

"I love you," Uchi smiled at his lover Ohkura Tadayoshi. They where hiding out together in the rest room. They spent a lot of their down time in the rest room, away from the prying eyes of the rest of the group.

"I love you too," Ohkura smiled back.

Ohkura's lips beckoned to Uchi. He kissed them. He could feel his lover sigh, and kiss back.

"Listen, I think we should tell everyone about us," Uchi kissed him again. "I don't like all this sneaking around."

"I don't want to get you into trouble." Ohkura paused. "Johnny-sama made you promise not to date any debuted artist."

"That was when I was a trainee." Uchi reminded him.

"Ryo still has feelings for you."

"He's the one that left me," Uchi reminded him. "It will be all right, trust me."

"I do trust you,” Ohkura confessed. "I just get so afraid."

"Don't be." He put his arms around Ohkura. "We have each other now. I want to spend my life at your side."

"I love you so much Hiroki."

"I'll always love you." Uchi promised.

They kissed, Uchi pushing Ohkura against the wall. Ohkura's thin body pressed against his. Uchi was about to pull his lover into a restroom stall, when they were interrupted.

The door to the restroom opened, Hina walked in. He walked past the lovers as if he didn't see them. He went into one of the stalls. Then a few moments later, went to the sink.

Uchi put his arm around Ohkura protectively. "Don't tell Johnny-sama about us."

"What are you talking about?" Hina asked.

"Tacchan and I,"

'You two make a cute couple." Hina dried his hands. "You two need to tell everyone."

"We're planning on it," Uchi told him. "In the morning, before the place is crawling with staff."

"Good thing," Hina left the rest room.

"Let me show you how much I love you." Uchi said as he pulled his lover into the stall, locking the door behind him. Then he pulled Ohkura to him. Uchi didn't know when they made love that this would be their very last time together.


There had been an accident. Every member of the group had been called to the hospital. No one had been told anything. Just to get there. It was two hours after rehearsal. Everyone was exhausted, but they had been told it was urgent that they get to the hospital.

Ryo had taken a bit longer to get there then anyone else. Subaru had jumped to his feet and hugged Ryo. "I'm really sorry."

"I don't understand," Ryo said confused.

"There was an accident," Subaru tried to explain. "Ohkura and Uchi..."

"Is Uchi all right?" Ryo asked concerned. He didn't even think of Ohkura. Uchi was the one that Ryo was still in love with.

"They won't tell us," Maru went to him. "His parents are with him right now."

"He's asking for his lover." Uchi's mother came into the waiting room. "Ryo, can you come this way?"

"But..." Ryo began; he knew that Uchi wouldn't be asking for him.

"You have to hurry." Uchi-san pulled Ryo into the other room. "He won't go into surgery until he sees you."

Ryo went into the room. Uchi had been hooked up to a heart monitor, which beeped. Uchi’s' eyes centered on him. "Where is Tadayoshi?"

"He's in surgery," Ryo had no idea what happened to Ohkura.

"Tadayoshi, if he lives, you must take care of him for me." It hurt Ryo to hear that his former lover's only thought was of Ohkura.

'Hiroki, you'll be all right,” Ryo tried to reassure.

"Please Ryo promise me." Uchi gasped. "Take care of Tacchan. Make sure he's not alone."

"What about us?"

"You broke up with me. I moved on." Uchi reminded him. "Please promise...."

"I will, I'll take care of him." Ryo promised.

"Make sure Tacchan's loved." Uchi's eyes looked at him unseeing. It was like the life had left his body.

Ryo pushed the help button frantically. Then he went into the hallway, screaming at the top of his lungs that Uchi needed help. He didn't see Hina, who was standing in the corner of Uchi's room. He had followed Ryo into the room.

It seemed to take forever for the workers to come, even though in reality it was only a few seconds. Ryo let himself be pushed out of the room, while emergency workers cared for Uchi.

Ryo didnt' tell anyone about the promise. Ryo just hoped, prayed that somehow Uchi's life would be saved. Then the promise wouldn't matter. He could tell Uchi the truth. That Ryo had never stopped loving him. That he had broken up with him because Johnny-sama told him that he couldn't be involved with a mere trainee. That he had chosen Stardom over Uchi. A choice that he would always regret.

Ryo prayed harder then he had ever prayed before. In the end, he would blame god for what happened to Uchi.

Uchi was rushed to surgery, but in the end, he didn't make it. Uchi's parents told him the news. He comforted them. They thought Ryo was still with their son. He wouldn't tell them the truth that their son had found another.

Ryo's heart hurt, and the pain in his heart made him do something he would regret for the rest of his life. He went to Ohkura's room. His band mate had a cast on his arm and his leg. His eyes were covered in a thick bandage. The way that Ohkura was now, he was helpless against Ryo's attack.

Ohkura was in a state that Ryo knew he could hurt him more. Ohkura had destroyed Ryo's life when he took Uchi from him. Now he was going to destroy Ohkura's life.


Ohkura woke, his whole body hurt. There was something hard on one of his legs, on one of his arms. He opened his eyes, but he couldn't see anything. He reached up, there was a wide bandage covering his eyes. The last thing he could remember was talking to Uchi, then a crash.

"Hiroki," he gasped. "Where are you Hiroki?"

"He's gone." Said the unmistakable voice of Ryo.

"Gone?" Ohkura echoed.

"He died you idiot!" Ryo snapped. "It was your fault that he crashed his car!"

"I wasn't driving." Ohkura said weakly. "I don't believe you, he couldn't have..."

"I was with Uchi when he died!" Ryo said bluntly. “There was no way anyone could save him.”

"Hiroki dead?" Ohkura couldn’t believe his ears. "Did he say anything for me?"

"Uchi wanted you to know that he never loved you." Ryo lied. "He was planning to leave you when you got back to your apartment."

"No, that can't be true!" Ohkura said softly. "He told me he wanted to spend his life at my side."

"A lie," Ryo spat. "Did you really think he loved you? He was my lover. You where only the boy hole he used for a lay" He paused. "He told me to make you promise to take care of me."

"If that was what Hiroki wanted, then yes I will." Ohkura promised. Then his composure broke, and he began to sob uncontrollably.

Ryo smiled at Ohkura's pain. Now the idiot knew how Ryo felt when he had stolen Uchi from him. Ohkura would live the rest of his life without ever knowing that the only thing Uchi thought of in his last moments was Ohkura.


A few minutes passed. Ohkura alone with his grief. His heart breaking. Not only was he not the only one in his lover's life, he had to take care of Ryo. He felt so very alone. Uchi, his first love didn't love him. He had used Ohkura. That fact hurt Ohkura more then anything. More then the pains from his injury.

Doctors came in, examining him. He had glass in his eyes from the accident. Ohkura's arm was broken, and one of his legs. Ohkura had been lucky; at least that was what they told him. How could Ohkura be lucky when he lost the only man he had ever loved?

He was in a private room. He couldn't see all he could do was run his fingers over himself. Ohkura's parents had been contacted. But they where out of the country, on a trip that Ohkura had given them. They would probably get home in a day or so.

Ohkura could hear footsteps. Someone came into the room. He tilted his face towards the noise. "Whose there?"

"It's me, Hina." Hina told him. "You heard about Uchi?"

'Yes, Ryo told me." Ohkura said softly.

"I am so sorry," he could feel Hina take his hand.

"You should be telling Ryo sorry." More tears. "He was Hiroki's lover, I wasn't. Not really."

"What are you going on about?"

"Ryo told me the truth. On his death bed Uchi only thought about him." Ohkura admitted.

"That's not true!" Hina said firmly. "I was there, the only thing Uchi had on his mind was his Tadayoshi. He made Ryo promise to take care of you."

"Why would Ryo lie about something like that?" Ohkura touched his bandages. "If you don't mind, I don't want to talk about Ryo anymore."

"If that's what you want." Hina said gently.

"Can you stay with me a while?" Ohkura asked. "It’s just that I feel so alone."

"I'll stay as long as you need me." Hina promised.


Time passed, the days stretching to two weeks. Ohkura's parents finally arrived from America on the second day after the accident. They took care of Ohkura during the day, and Hina took care of him during the night. He hadn't told his parents that Uchi was his lover.

Ohkura was in the hospital so he wasn't able to attend Uchi's funeral. Uchi's parents had given Ryo a place of honor, almost as if he was the widower of Uchi.

Ohkura was alone in his room. He knew that Hina was there, sleeping in a spare bed. Ohkura was having problems sleeping. He saw Uchi every time he fell asleep. Something was haunting him. It frightened him. He didn't tell Hina, he didn't want his friend to think he was crazy.

Ohkura felt someone in the room. He had felt the presence before. The scent so familiar. Watching him always seemed to be watching. The presence never talked to him.

Then he realized what the presence was.

"Hiroki," Ohkura gasped. "It's you isn't it?"

"I was wondering when you would realize I was here." the familiar voice of his lover told him.

"Ryo lied to me, he said you died."

"Ryo didn't lie about my death." Uchi told him. "But I had to come, to tell you that he lied about everything else. You were the only one in my heart."

"My heart hurts so much." the tears came. He knew it was impossible for him to be talking to Uchi, but he didn't care. He needed his lover.

"I wish I could take away your pain." Uchi admitted. "I know that you will have a long, wonderful life."

"How can I have a wonderful life without you?"

"It won't be without me. I will watch you forever." Uchi promised. But being dead gives you a peek into the future. It's important that you know about your future."

"What is it?"

"There is someone close to you that you're going to fall in love with." Uchi told him. "Sometime in the future. When the pain in your heart goes away."

"You mean Hina?" Ohkura guessed.

"No, not Hina. He's in love with Maru, they'll get together soon." Uchi paused. "Ryo might be a self-centered Jerk, but inside, deep inside of him is someone gentle, someone kind."

"There is nothing kind inside of Ryo,"

"There is, and someday you will see it. When he tells you he loves you, believe it." he felt Uchi reach out, smoothing the hair out of his face. "Ryo never lies about such things."

"I'm not sure I can love him." Ohkura admitted. "But for your sake, I will at least be his friend."

"Thank you Tacchan." He could feel Uchi's lips press his. "I wanted to grow old with you. I am sorry about the accident, it was my fault."

"No, you where hit by someone, it was there fault."

"It was mine." Uchi said firmly. "I was looking at you and not the oncoming cars. I don't think I loved you more then that moment before the car hit us. I do love you."

"I love you too Hiroki." more tears fell.

"I want you to have this." He felt Uchi pick up his good hand, he slid a ring onto it. "I bought it for you; I was going to give it to you when we got to my apartment. It would have been like an engagement ring."

"I will always wear it." Ohkura promised.

"I have to go, but I wanted you to know that I will always love you." Uchi kissed Ohkura for the very last time.

"Don't go," Ohkura couldn't stop crying. "Please Hiroki, don't leave me."

Suddenly Ohkura could feel someone shaking him. Hina said. "Wake up Tacchan; you're having a bad dream."

"A dream?" Ohkura said heartbroken. "But Hiroki was here."

"How can he be here?" Hina said gently. "It was part of your dream."

Ohkura reached his hand up, and touched his face. He could feel something on one of his fingers. "Hina, am I wearing a ring?"

'Yes, it's nice." Hina told him. "You weren't wearing it when I went to sleep. Where did you get it?"

"You wouldn't believe me." He rubbed the ring against his face. Uchi's visit hadn't been a dream, it had been real. The ring was the proof. He would wear the ring for the rest of his life, in memory of his first love.


Ohkura's parents finally arrived at the hospital; it had taken a while to get a plane to take them from America to Japan. They took over from Hina, who had stayed at Ohkura's side his entire hospital stay. Hina had always been a big brother to Ohkura. But now, he seemed more then that.

Okura didn't realize that his heart could hurt so much. It hurt more then his broken bones. The pain was with him constantly, reminding him again and again that his first love was gone, never to return.

The doctors hadn't taken off the bandage off Ohkura’s eyes yet. He still didn't know if he would be blind. Ohkura was told not to worry, but how could he not worry, when he had a large bandage over his eyes?

Hina was visiting Ohkura. "How are you feeling?"

"I want to die." Ohkura said truthfully. "Why did I have to live?"

"I don't know," Hina said truthfully. "You just have to go on, in memory of Uchi."

"I know. It’s just been so hard..." Ohkura reached up touching his bandage.

"There are some things that Hiroki wanted you to have."

"He wanted me to have." Okura had to be strong; he didn't want to cry again. He didn't want all that pain to show again.

"Uchi left a diary." Hina began. "I really think you should read it."

"I can't." He reminded Hina. "I can't see. I got glass in my eyes during the accident."

"Gomen, I forgot." Hina paused. "There are some parts about you in it. I think it would help you to hear them."

"If you insist." Ohkura didn't want to listen to Uchi's words. He was so afraid that Uchi had said something bad about him.

"September fourth. We should make this day a national holiday. I thought I would never love again after Ryo broke up with me. I could understand Ryo's reasons. I was no longer a Johnny's. He needed to have some one he worked with, who wasn’t' a disgrace. Besides, Ryo was always selfish. He never thought of my feelings, only his self centered wants. Johnny-sama gave him the choice of stardom or being with me. Ryo chose stardom.

One member of Kanjani 8 always stayed in touch with me. When he couldn't visit or email, he would call me. He said he didn't care if that I was no longer a star. He's my friend, and he wouldn't leave me.

When did I realize I loved Tadayoshi? I think it was May Day. But he didn't love me.

Today, he came to my apartment. He looked so afraid, almost like a lost deer. The first thing out of his mouth was "I love you."

I pulled him into the apartment, and then just as the door closed, he kissed me for the very first time.

When he took me to the bedroom, it was like magic, real magic. Our bodies fit together perfectly. He was the first lover who really cared for my needs.

All the pain that I felt from Ryo is gone. The only thing in my heart is my wonderful Tadayoshi. I love him. I want to spend my life with him."

"He really loved me." Ohkura realized when Hina was finished reading.

"You were his world," Hina told him. "I read his entire diary. He was a very lucky man."

"What do you mean he was lucky?" More tears came. "I was the lucky one."

"In is diary, he discussed some things he wanted you to have in case anything happened to him."

Ohkura couldn't believe his ears. "He wanted me to have his things?"

"Some jewelry, his guitar, some manga. Things like that." Hina said. "I talked with his parents; they are more then willing to pass them onto you."

"Can you keep them for me until I get out of the hospital?" Ohkura asked.

"I'd be honored." Hina said almost formally.

. "Thank you so much for doing this for me." Ohkura told him.


Ryo had made Uchi a promise, and even though he hated Ohkura will all his soul, he took care of Ohkura the way that Uchi wished for him to. He visited Ohkura almost every day, but he never said anything. Because Ohkura's eyes were bandaged, he had never known about the visits. At least that's what Ryo hoped.

Ryo found Ohkura sitting in a wheel chair in his room. They where making Ohkura get out of bed more and more. But he couldn't go anywhere, not with the bandage covering his eyes.

"It's really impolite not to talk to someone you're visiting." Ohkura told him.

"How did you know I'm here?" Ryo finally said.

"You know, you don't have to spray yourself down with axe cologne every time you visit." Ohkura pointed out. "I can smell you coming minutes before you actually get here."

"I have to smell good," Ryo decided to give in gracefully.

"That you do," Ohkura told him.

"Want to go for a ride?" Ryo asked. He grabbed the back of Ohkura's wheel chair.

"Where to?"

"A mystery trip!" He pushed Ohkura down the hallway. He chattered to Ohkura about the group, about gossip. He wasn't doing this for Ohkura; he was doing it for Uchi. He had finally decided to fulfill the promise that he had made his former lover.


Ryo was taking Ohkura somewhere. He wasn't too sure where he was going. Ryo talked to him as he pushed him down the hallway. Most of what Ryo talked about was Ryo's friends in Tokyo. They were people that Ohkura didn't hang with. So he listened to Ryo's endless talk about the triangle between Yamapi, Kame and Jin. Ohkura wanted to tell Ryo that he didn't care about Ryo's friends, but he didn't say anything. He was afraid of how Ryo would react.

Then Ohkura heard a hum as the automatic doors opened. Then sounds of cars.

That was when Ohkura realized he was outside. The weather was warm. Ohkura hated the fact that he couldn't see anything.

Ohkura was afraid of what Ryo had planned. He had lied to Ohkura once, how could he even think of trusting him now? He stayed quiet as Ryo pushed him somewhere, Ohkura wasn't sure where.

"You like ice cream don't you?" Ryo asked him.

"I love it." Ohkura admitted.

After pushing him for a while longer, Ryo stopped the wheel chair. He set the brakes on the tires.

"Where are we?" Ohkura asked.

"Don't worry I didn't take you off of hospital grounds." Ryo's voice was smooth, sexy.

"Where did you take me?"

"It's a surprise," Ryo told him. "Now what kinds of ice cream do you like the best?”

“Ice cream?” Ohkura repeated.

“Your favorite is strawberry ice cream made into malt isn't it?" Ryo guessed.

Ohkura was surprised that Ryo knew what his favorite flavor of ice cream was. "Who told you that?"

"I just knew." Ryo told him. "I'll be right back."

Ohkura could hear Ryo walk away. Ohkura had hoped that Ryo hadn't just left him here as a joke. He couldn't see and he couldn't push his own wheel chair. He was helpless, and he knew that Ryo enjoyed picking on the helpless.

Ohkura decided that he enjoyed the feel of the sun against his skin. It felt so bright outside. He hadn't been outside since the accident. He never realized how much he missed it.

Ohkura could smell Ryo's cologne wafting to him. He could hear footsteps coming towards him.

"I'm sorry I took so long." Ryo told him.

"Where did you go?"

"There is a little American style cafe near here. They serve fantastic malts." He pressed something into Ohkura's good hand. It was a cup that was very cold.

"You're not going to poison me are you?" Ohkura asked.

"Of course not, I just thought you would like malt." Ryo said. "Drink it or don't drink it, I don’t' care. It's just that you've gotten too skinny."

Ohkura brought the drink to his lips. It had a straw. He took a long drink. He couldn't believe he was drinking Malt, after weeks of boring hospital food. It tasted good.

Ohkura heard Ryo sit on the bench beside his wheel chair. Ryo began slurping something very loudly.

"What flavor's your malt?" Ohkura asked him.

"How did you know I got malt?" Ryo countered.

"I wouldn't go to get someone a treat like this, unless I went to get one for myself." Ohkura said logically.

"Mine's chocolate," Ryo told him.

They drank in silence. When Ohkura was finished with his drink, Ryo took it from him.

"Thanks for doing this for me." Ohkura said.

"It was nothing." Ryo lied; Ohkura could tell that he was lying.


It was hard for Okura to live when his heart felt like it was dying. Every day Ohkura woke to the fact that he was alone, that his lover was dead. Every day he hoped that it was all a horrible nightmare. That he would wake to find Uchi sleeping beside him, his lover would kiss him and tell him that it would be all right.

Ohkura knew his dream wouldn’t come true. Uchi would never return to him. So he concentrated on getting well, so that he could return to the group. Even if all he did was play drums, he would do it. He would live, for Uchi's sake.

Ryo dropped by Ohkura's hospital room almost every day after taking him for a malt. The only time he didn't come was when he was in Tokyo for his other group. When Ryo was gone, he would always call to check on Ohkura.

The cast on Ohkura's arm had been removed, and he had been x rayed. After looking at the x rays, the doctor had ordered an MRI. Ohkura hadn't been put back into a cast; instead he had been put into a brace. The brace hurt. But then again, his arm hadn't really stopped hurting.

Then Ohkura got the horrible news. His arm hadn't begun to heal. He was going to have to have more surgery. If his arm didn’t start healing after the surgery, he would loose his arm.

"You want to go get some ice cream tomorrow?" Ryo asked during one of his visits.

"I'm having surgery tomorrow." Ohkura told him. "So if you come by, I might not be here."

"Why are you having surgery?" Ryo asked concerned.

"I'm having some complications with my arm." Ohkura told him. There are pins in my humerus, but their going to have to add a plate to part of the bone."

"What happens if this surgery doesn't work?"

"I might loose my arm." Ohkura admitted. "If that happens, I'll have to quit the group."

"No you won't!" Ryo said almost harshly. "Def Leopard’s had a one armed drummer for years."

"Johnny-sama will make me quit." he pointed out.

"No he won't!" Ryo said firmly. "Quit worrying about your arm! You'll be fine!"


Ryo came to visit Ohkura even though he knew that Ohkura was in surgery. Ohkura's mother was in the waiting room in the surgery area. Ohkura's father wasn't there, but he was often away for business.

"Nishikido-kun," Ohkura's mother smiled at him. "It's good to see you."

"Have you heard anything?" Ryo tried to keep the concern out of his voice.

"No, nothing yet."

"Would you like me to get you some coffee or something?" Ryo offered.

"Yes, I would like some coffee." She smiled at him.

Ryo went and got her a cup. He had promised to take care of Ohkura, but helping his mother was in a way helping Ohkura wasn't it? At least that was what Ryo thought.

"Thank you," Ohkura-san told him. "You're a good friend to my son."

"We're not friends." Ryo murmured as he sat down.

Hina and Maruyama arrived at the hospital after a few minutes. The pair's body language was off. Ryo was one to watch things like that. The pair was trying a bit too hard to say away from each other. That made Ryo wonders if the pair was together.

Ryo told himself that he was only here to keep the promise that he had made to Uchi. But surgery was something serious. Something so big that the promise didn't matter anymore. All Ryo wanted was for Ohkura to get well. To return to the group. He wanted to see Ohkura's smile. His friend hadn't smiled since the accident. Ryo realized he had feelings for Ohkura. From now on he would care for Ohkura not just for Uchi's sake, but for his own.


Six weeks passed. Ryo dropped in to visit Ohkura every day. He bugged Ohkura, saying that he was only visiting because he wanted to drive Ohkura crazy. Ryo didn't just drive him crazy. He was the only one that treated Ohkura as if there was nothing wrong with him. He was the only one that would take him around to places in the hospital. It was almost as if Ryo really liked him as a friend. Ohkura knew the truth; Ryo had made a promise to Uchi.

The bandages had been removed from Ohkura eyes for a routine check. He knew that one of his eyes had been stitched shut, to help it recover. But there was something else going on. He could hear whisperings from the doctor and a nurse.

Finally the doctor spoke. "How is your vision?"

Ohkura looked around; everything seemed to be very blurry. "It's all right. It looks like I might need glasses."

"We think it's time we remove the stitches from your left eye lids." The doctor told him. "Your orbital implant has had enough time to heal."

"My orbital implant?" Ohkura repeated.

"Your parents didn't tell you," The doctor realized.

"Tell me what?" Ohkura asked. His fingers went to his left eye. For the first time since the accident, he touched it. There was as bump, like the other eye, but this one was hard. "What's in my eye?"

"It's an orbital implant." The doctor told him. "It is used to support your eye socket. You will have an artificial eye that will go on top of it. It will look like a normal eye."

"But my eye is gone!" Ohkura realized.

"You're going to be visited today by an ocularist." The doctor said if he didn't hear Ohkura. "He will be the one that will fit you with your artificial eye."

"My eye!" Ohkura said almost hysterically. "Where is my left eye?"

"There was nothing we could do to save it." The doctor told him. "With an artificial eye, it won't be noticeable."

"But my eye, it will never come back?" Ohkura demanded.

"I'm sorry," The doctor said, he left the room.

Ohkura was so angry at being lied to. He picked up a glass from the bedside table; he threw it across the room. Then he began to sob.


"You need to practice walking." Ohkura had been told. Not only did he have to worry about his eyes, he had to worry about his leg. The only good news was that his arm had finally begun to heal. They would be a scar, but he could cover it with a shirt.

Ohkura's casts had been removed, he now had physical training. He could walk now, though the brace on his leg was uncomfortable. He thought he saw Uchi watching him, out of the corner of his eye, but when he turned he was gone.

Ohkura was having trouble getting used to his vision. Because he only had one eye, he had no depth perception. He had a patch over his left eye. He would wear it until he got his new eye.

He was ordered to walk the hallways. A nurse walked beside him, but he refused to let her guide him. He had to do this on his own. He had to get stronger.

Ohkura saw Hina and Maruyama at the other end of the hallway. He wasn't too sure how far away the end of the hallway was. They were standing a little too close together. They only had eyes for each other.

Ohkura walked to them, and they were too busy looking at each other to notice.

"Excuse me," Ohkura told them.

"Tacchan!" Maruyama yelped. He jumped away from Hina as if he had been hit by lightening.

"We came to visit you." Hina said stating the obvious.

"Yeah, I see that." Ohkura told them.

"I'll wait in the waiting room." Maruyama almost ran to the waiting room.

Ohkura told the nurse that his friend would help him walk. She bowed and left.

"It's good to see you getting around," Hina told him.

"I got tired of being helpless," Ohkura said firmly. "At least I can get up and move around."

"Have they told you how long you'll be here?" Hina began to walk beside Ohkura.

"I'm not sure," Ohkura admitted. "I know that the agency is paying for my treatment. That's why I haven't had to go home."

"Perhaps you'll be able to return to the group soon." Hina said hopefully.

"I hope so. I've been working hard for my return." Ohkura touched his patch. "I just hope that this won't prevent me from being a Johnny's again."

"You have a scar," Hina guessed.

"Tell me, did you know what happened to my eye?" Ohkura demanded.

"Just what you told me." Hina paused. "There's something wrong isn't there?"

"I lost my eye." Ohkura admitted. "They've given me some kind of implant, and soon I'll have an artificial eye. They say you won't be able to tell the difference."

"Then you shouldn't worry about it." Hina tried to reassure.

"How long have you been with Maruyama?" Ohkura decided to change the subject.

"What makes you think I'm with Maru?" Hina asked a little too innocently.

"I think you two make a very cute couple." Ohkura told him.

"Don't tell anyone okay?" Hina asked. "We've only been together for a little while...”

"They won't hear it from me." Ohkura promised.


There was something about Ohkura that Ryo found attractive. He had started to become friends with Ohkura, even to the point of calling him Tacchan. But Ryo wouldn’t' fall for someone as helpless as Ohkura. That's what he told himself every day. He was only visiting Ohkura because he had promised to. He told everyone that almost constantly, but he couldn't tell anyone that he was lying. He began to get to know the Ohkura that Uchi fell in love with. Not only that, but Ryo found he liked him.

Ryo went to Ohkura's room, but he wasn't there. So Ryo went hunting for him. He found Ohkura, sitting by a window. The bandages had been removed from Ohkura's eyes. But he wore a patch over his left eye. He now wore a brace on his leg instead of the cast.

Ohkura looked at him. "Ryo, what are you doing here?"

"It's a free world." Ryo went to him, sitting down. "Why are you wearing that patch over your eye?"

"You wouldn't understand." Ohkura looked frightened.

"Trying to be a pirate?" Ryo teased, he snatched the patch off.

For a brief instant, he saw something horrifying. Ohkura's eye was opened, but instead of an eye, there was red muscle in the shape of an eye ball.

Ohkura quickly covered his left eye with his hand. Then he ordered. "Put the patch back on me."

Ryo did. His fingers gentle. Still, Ohkura flinched. As soon as Ohkura's patch was back on, Ohkura lashed out at Ryo, hitting him.

"Don't touch me again without permission!" He snapped.

"I'm sorry," Ryo said quickly. "What happened to your eye?"

"I lost it in the accident." Ohkura adjusted the patch so that it covered his eye.

"I'm sorry," Ryo said gently. "I shouldn't have played with your patch."

. **********************

The day that Ohkura got his artificial eye should have been a happy one. The artificial eye felt strange to Ohkura, like he had something in his eye. But he would get used to it.

"I have some mail for you, from the agency." Hina came into Ohkura's hospital room.

"Why would the agency send me anything?" Ohkura paused. "Can you open it for me?"

Hina opened the envelope, and then he opened the letter and handed it to Ohkura. Ohkura read the letter. He couldn't believe his eyes. He had worked so hard for his return.

"You don't have to visit me anymore," Ohkura told him. "I'm no longer your band mate."


"Johnny sama's fired me." Tears began to pour down his face.

Hina took the letter from Ohkura. He read it. "This isn't right! We’ll fight this!" Hina was angry, very angry. "How can he fire you? We need you."

"What can we do?" Ohkura said helpless.

"Call Ryo," Hina decided. "He's close to Johnny-sama, he can help."

"Why would Ryo want to help me?"

"You're kidding!" Hina told him. "He visits every day. Ryo's crazy about you."

"Ryo doesn't like me." Even more tears fell. "He only visits because he promised Uchi. He doesn't like me. Not really."


Ryo had to go to Tokyo, for News business. . Everyone in Kanjani 8 had been texting him. They told Ryo to get back to Osaka right now. It was an emergency. All anyone would tell him about the emergency was that it had to do with Ohkura.

Ryo went to the hospital straight from the airport. He knew something horrible must have happened to his friend. Had the plate in his arm been rejected? Would his arm be taken? Or had something even worse happened?

Ryo found his friend in his hospital room. Ohkura was no longer wearing the patch over his eye. He looked at Ryo. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting you. I see you have your new eye." Ryo stated the obvious.

For the first time Ryo realized that it was like Ryo still had both of his eyes. The artificial one moved just the way the real one did. Ohkura looked just as handsome as he was the day before the accident.

Ryo took out his ketai and snapped a photo.

"What was that for?" Ohkura asked.

Ryo showed him the photo. "See how good you look? It looks like you never lost an eye."

"My new eye feels a bit weird." Ohkura admitted. "The doctor said that I should get used to it. Then I won't feel it."

"So what's the emergency?" Ryo tried to keep the concern out of his voice.

"There's no emergency."

"Everyone's been texting me. They said I had to rush here." Ryo told him. "Something bad happened."

"It isn't bad news. It's just that I'm being released later this week." Ohkura told him. Ryo wasn't used to Ohkura being able to look at him with two eyes.

"Congratulations. Where are you going to stay?"

"I'll stay with my parents." Ohkura told him. "Now that I'm no longer a Johnny's, I've lost my apartment."

"No longer a Johnny?" Ryo gasped. "When did that happen?"

"Johnny-sama didn't even tell me in person," He took a piece of paper out of his robe's pocket. "He sent me a letter firing me."

Ryo snatched the letter out of Ohkura's hand. As he read it, he grew very angry at Johnny-sama. "This isn't right."

"All this time I worked hard so that I could return to the group." Ohkura said heartbroken. "Now there isn’t' anything for me to return to."

"Tacchan, don't worry about this." Ryo shoved the letter in his pocket. "I'll take care of it."

"You might get fired." A tear rolled down his cheek.

"I won't." He reached out wiping the tear from Ohkura's face. "I'll do anything to get you back in the group."

"Ryo-Chan," Ohkura gasped.

"Trust me Tacchan." Ryo's felt all sense leave him. He wanted Ohkura to know that he loved him. To know that he would protect him.

"Yes, I trust you." He finally said.

"I love you," Ryo breathed. Then he kissed Ohkura. His friend's lips were so soft, so warm. He could feel his friend tremble against him. He was so afraid, like a gentle bird. Ohkura kissed back, for a brief moment, Ryo thought there was hope.

Ohkura pulled away from Ryo, his eyes full of tears. 'We can't."

"What's wrong?" Ryo finally asked.

"I'm sorry, I can't love you. It's too soon since Hiroki died." Ohkura told him truthfully.

"I know," Ryo smiled sadly. Then he turned and left. He didn't stop walking until he got to his car. It had begun to rain, he got wet going to his car. He opened the door and sat down, not turning on the car’s ignition. Tears poured down Ryo’s cheeks just like the rain that was falling outside.


Ohkura was finally being released from the hospital. He could walk on his own. But they made him use a wheel chair because of hospital rules. His mother was there, as was Hina. Hina thought that Ryo would be there with him when he was released, but Ohkura knew that Ryo was in Tokyo working with News.

Ohkura hadn't heard from Ryo in three days. Ohkura liked Ryo a lot. There was even a stirring of something else in Ohkura's heart about Ryo. Ohkura realized that now that he was out of the hospital, he probably wouldn't be visited by Ryo again. He had rejected Ryo, and Ryo wasn't the type to forgive.

There was a letter waiting for Ohkura at his mother's house. It was from the Johnny's agency.

"You should read it," Hina told him.

"No, you read it." Ohkura sat on the living room couch. He no longer cared what Johnny-sama said.

Hina opened the letter, and read it quickly. Then he shoved it at Ohkura.

"As of today, you are a member of Kanjani 8. To be truthful, I think you are a liability. But one member of your group has interceded for you. He has returned to my favor to keep you in Kanjani 8. You will return to work as soon as you’re cleared by the doctors.

I need to get back to my new favorite. Ryo’s is such a good boy, so accommodating.

Johnny Kitagawa

Ohkura looked at Hina. "Why would Ryo give himself to Johnny-sama?"

"You really don't know, do you?" Hina asked. "Ryo's in love with you."

"Ryo isn't even my friend," Ohkura said softly. "He only visits because he has to."

"You're kidding aren't you?" Hina gasped.

"He only visited me because of the promise he made to Uchi." Ohkura told him. "He said he would take care of me."

Just then, Ohkura's mother came in with snacks for Ohkura and Hina. The friends began to eat. Ohkura was very happy that he was back in Kanjani 8, but at the same time he felt terrible that Ryo had gone back to Johnny-sama.

Ohkura reached up and touched his lips. All he could think of was the kiss he shared with Ryo. It would be their only kiss. Ohkura knew in the long run it would be better that way. If he was Ryo's lover he would eventually be hurt. Ohkura couldn't take any more pain in his life. But still in the back of Ohkura's mind he wanted to be with Ryo. For in that moment that Ryo kissed him the pain in Ohkura's heart had left him.



Time: A year after Ohkura's release from the hospital

Lip on lip, mouths crushing together. Tongues exploring the other hungrily. One lover putting the arm rest that divided the two of them up, then Subaru pulled Shota onto his lap.

Ohkura glanced to his side. He could see Hina and Maruyama loving each other. Both lovers on the floor, Maruyama bent over the seat. Hina was behind him, thrusting into him.

Ohkura sighed and looked out to the night sky. Why did Shota and Subaru have to go at it in the seats in front of him? It wasn’t' fair to those who didn't have boy friends.

If only Uchi hadn’t died. It wouldn't have mattered to Ohkura. Uchi would have smiled at Ohkura and took his hand. He would know that when they got to the hotel, they would be together too. But Uchi was gone, and Ohkura was alone.

Ohkura's status had changed. He was now only an associate member of the group. His pay had been cut dramatically. Every moment, every performance was scrutinized. Ohkura had to prove himself, and he knew as of ye he hadn't. So he stayed an associate. Working harder then he had ever worked before. Knowing that when he became a full member that Ryo would be free. Ohkura would do almost anything to have Ryo free from Johnny Sama’s slavery.

Ryo was another problem of Ohkura's. He wasn't sure when his heart started fluttering when he was near Ryo. His friend had never mentioned the time he told Ohkura he loved him. But from then on, the pair were best friends.

"Those guys should wait till we get to the hotel," Ryo sat beside him.

"Sometimes when you love each other, you can’t wait.” Ohkura told him. "Besides, they might not be allowed to share the same room."

"That's horrible," Ryo told him. "Their adults, they should be allowed to be with their lovers."

After a while, Ryo put his head on Ohkura's shoulder and fell asleep. It was Ohkura’s arm that had been hurt in the accident, and had been giving Ohkura troubles. It hurt as Ryo’s head pressed against it, but Ohkura didn’t’ say anything. He liked the feeling of his friend’s touch.

The quiet of the night was interrupted by Maruyama screaming as he came. Hina was much quieter, Ohkura barely heard him. But the panting in from Shota and Subaru him really bothered Ohkura. Soon the couple in front of him was coming. Then the bus was quiet again.

Ohkura glanced at Ryo. He felt bad for his friend. Ryo was almost constantly tired from having to be in two groups. Also, on his days off, he was forced to spend time with Johnny-sama. That fact always made Ohkura a bit sick to his stomach. Ryo had no idea that Ohkura knew the true reasons as to why he was allowed to rejoin the group. If Ohkura had any control over it, Ryo would never find out.


Ryo had fallen asleep on Ohkura's shoulder. But he was woken by his friend trying to pick up his bag without disturbing his sleeping friend. Ohkura took out a bottle of medicine, but it fell out of his hand and landed on the floor. Ohkura cursed gently to himself.

Ryo bent down, picked up the bottle. He handed it to Ohkura.

"Thanks," Ohkura breathed. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Do you want some help?" Ryo asked gently.

'Yeah, my arm's hurting again." Ohkura admitted. "I need my medicine."

Ryo opened the bottle and took a pill out. He gave it to his friend who took it dry. Then he handed the bottle of medicine to him.

"Have you told anyone about your arm hurting?" Ryo asked concerned.

"I'm trying to get back as a full member," Ohkura told him. "This would be considered a strike against me."

Ryo realized he must have caused the pain. He had fallen asleep on Ohkura's left shoulder. "I'm sorry I fell asleep on it."

"It wasn't your fault." His friend said softly. "It always feels better when you touch me."

"Would you like me to rub it?" Ryo offered.

'That would be nice." Ohkura pulled off his shirt.

There was a scar that ran from his shoulder to his wrist. Ohkura's arm was swollen; the sight of it worried Ryo. He reached out, touching it gently. Ohkura yelped. His friend's arm was warm to the touch.

"Sorry, you're fingers are cold." Ohkura lied. Ryo could tell his friend was in a lot of pain.

"If it hurts, tell me." Ryo said. He began to gently rub Ohkura's sore arm.

"If I told you something, would not tell anyone?" Ohkura asked.

"You can trust me," Ryo's fingers hit a sore spot.

'My body is reacting to the implant in my arm. The area around it is infected." Ohkura confessed. "The doctor thinks the implant should be removed, that my arm no longer needs it."

"Then you should have it removed." Ryo decided.

"I can't," Ohkura looked away from him. "Johnny-sama says I'll be fired if I take the time out for surgery."

"Shit!" Ryo cursed. He reached out, touching Ohkura's face. "I'll do what ever it takes for you to get your surgery."

"Ryo," Ohkura breathed.

"I'll protect you," Ryo promised his friend.


Ohkura was only an associate member. That fact angered Ryo. He had tried without much success to talk Johnny-sama into letting Ohkura be a full member. Even though Ryo was his favorite, Ohkura's full membership had to be earned.

Ohkura worked hard at earning a full membership in the group. He concentrated on his work. His drums, his dancing. He tried as hard as he could to get back in shape.

They where getting ready for rehearsal, for a TV show. Ohkura would be playing drums. He was setting up his drums on the rehearsal stage. His sleeves rolled up on his shirt. His left arm was so swollen.

Ohkura's arm worried Ryo. All he wanted to do was help his friend, but there wasn't anything he could do.

Ryo wondered why on earth Ohkura was setting up his drums. They where debuted artists. There was staff that could do things like set up drums. Plus, Okura was hurt; he needed to rest his inflamed arm.

"What are you doing?" Ryo went to him.

"Getting ready for rehearsal." Ohkura said distracted.

"Staff can do that." Ryo reminded him.

"I'm only an associate member, staff doesn't help the associates." He picked up his bass drum. He groaned under the weight. He stopped, putting the drum down. His face was pale with pain.

Ryo jumped forwards, helping him place the drum in place. Their fingers touched as they moved the drum. "You can at least ask me for help. I don't mind."

A staff member brought Ryo a drink, then walked off without even asking Ohkura if he was thirsty.

"Aren't you thirsty?" Ryo asked.

"Of course I am." Ohkura didn't look up at him. "I'm too busy to get myself a drink."

"Have some of mine." Ryo pressed the bottle into Ohkura's hand.

"I'm busy."

"Have a drink," Ryo smiled. "I won't tell anyone."

Ohkura took the lid off the water and took a small drink. He tried to pass it back. "I'm not supposed to take your stuff Ryo."

"It isn't mine anymore, it's yours. I just gave it to you." Ryo's eyes met his. Ryo smiled at him. Ohkura smiled back at him. The first time that Ohkura had smiled at him.


Ryo realized that Ohkura wasn't being treated right. It made him very frustrated. Unlike the members of News, everyone didn't have a PM. Only Ryo did. The rest had to share one. What was even worse was that Ohkura didn't even have the shared PM.

When Ryo asked why the rest of the group had to share hotel rooms, he was told that was because he was the star. The rest were just glorified juniors. A price had to be paid for Ohkura's return, and the group was paying it.

"We're staying in a hotel tonight; the six of you need to draw who stays with whom." The PM ordered.

"Why can't we pick our roommates?" Yoko asked.

"Juniors always have to draw lots." She reminded him.

"We're not juniors, we've debuted." Subaru reminded him.

"You know that changed when Ohkura was returned to the group." The PM said.

"Don't you think that my name should be put in the hat?" Ryo asked.

"Johnny-sama was clear in his instructions; you are to have your own room."

"I am an equal member of this group!" Ryo snapped. "This is my group, these are my friends. If they have to draw lots, then I will too!"

"All right, then pick room mates!" The PM said. "Ryo you of course will have your own room...."

"I want Ohkura-kun to be my roommate." Ryo said quickly.

"Then who would get the single room?"

"Yokoyama-kun," Ryo told her. "He snores very loudly."

"Ryo, you don't have to do this," Subaru said.

"Shut up!' Ryo ordered. "I am sick of the agency treating my friends badly for my benefit."


After the filming for the TV show, the group was taken to a hotel. Even though his arm hurt, Ohkura grabbed his bags. Being an associate member meant that there was no one to carry his bags. His left arm began to throb in pain. He tried to hide the pain, but he swayed for a moment.

Ryo jumped forwards, taking both of his bags from him. Then he looked at Ohkura. "Rest your arm."

'Thank you," Ohkura said.

Ohkura followed Ryo to their hotel room. Life was getting really crazy. Ryo had called Johnny-sama himself requesting that when he was in Kanjani 8 that he be treated like everyone else. Ohkura couldn't understand it. Ryo was the star. Why would he do something like that?

"Nice room." Ryo looked at the small room that had only one bed.

"It must be quite a come down for you." Ohkura told him. .

"I don't like being treated as a star." Ryo admitted to Ohkura. "Do you want to order room service?"

"I don't usually order from room service." Ohkura told him. "It’s too expensive."

"What about your living expenses?"

"After paying my bills, there isn't much money for luxuries like room service." He flinched; his arm began to throb again. He sat down, biting his lip.

"Where is your medicine?" Ryo asked.

"In my bag."

Ryo got Ohkura’s bag, he took out the pain pill. He got Ohkura a glass of water, then brought it to his friend. Ohkura took his medicine.

"Thank you," Ohkura breathed. "I'm not sure I can handle this pain much longer."

"What do you mean?"

"I might have to quit the group." Ohkura confessed. "Tonight was the worst."

"You where hurting,"

"It never stopped tonight," He looked down to his hands. "I think the doctor's right, I do need the surgery."

"Don't quit," Ryo reached out, touching Ohkura's cheek. "I'll find a way for you to get your surgery. Trust me, please."

"I do trust you."

Ryo kissed his lips. The kiss so gentle, so kind. The pain in Ohkura's heart left when his friend touched him. Ohkura gasped, and Ryo loved him with his tongue, this too was gentle. Ohkura put his good arm around Ryo's shoulders. Ryo put his arms around him, and the kiss increased.

Ryo eased Ohkura to the bed, laying beside him. Ryo's body pressed up against Ohkura's. He could feel that Ryo was hard.

"Make love to me," Ohkura breathed.

"All right," Ryo breathed, then they were kissing again.

There was a tapping at the door, and then Hina came in. "We're all going in to order pizza."

Ryo and Ohkura broke away from each other. Ohkura felt himself blush. He couldn't believe it; he had been caught kissing Ryo.

"We're ordering pizza for supper," Hina repeated as if he hadn't seen anything between the two friends.

"Pizza, how much?" Ryo took Ohkura's hand possessively.

"You don't have to go in," Hina began to back up.

"Why? Don't want to share with me?" Ryo snapped.

"No, it's not that."

"Then I insist. It will cost less if all seven of us put money in." Ryo said logically.

'You have an expense account." Hina reminded him.

"No, not when he's with us." Ohkura told him. "He's called Johnny-sama who has put him on the same budget as the rest of us."

"It isn't fair to the rest of the group, if one of us gets paid more." Ryo told him.

"I see," Hina nodded. "I'll go recalculate. You're right; it will cost less if all of us go in."

As soon as Hina left, he turned to Ohkura. "We'll pretend the kiss didn't happen."

Ohkura flinched. The pain in his heart returned. "If that's what you want."

"I'm not good for you. All I am is a well paid whore. You deserve so much more then me." Ryo looked very sad.

"Isn't that my choice?" Ohkura asked.

"I promised to protect you." Ryo reminded him. "That includes protecting you from me."

"Do you remember saying you loved me?" He couldn't keep the pain out of his voice.

"My love for you no longer matters. All that matters is your well being." Ryo said firmly. "I promised Uchi I would care for you. All that we have is because of the promise. Now let’s go get some pizza."

With that Ryo left, Ohkura followed him to Hina's room. The promise, Ohkura had forgotten all about the promise that Ryo had made Uchi. For a very brief moment, Ohkura had Ryo in his life. With every fiber of his being, Ohkura wanted to have Ryo at his side.



Ryo followed Ohkura and Hina to Hina and Maru's hotel room. Ryo seemed so shy, staying behind Ohkura. His hand on his friend’s elbow. It was almost like they were boy friends, but Ohkura knew that that would never happen.

"What's Ryo doing here?" Shota asked he was sitting on Maru's bed. Subaru sat beside him.

"He's going to eat supper with us." Hina told them. "He'll put the same amount of money in for the pizza as the rest of us."

"What if we don’t want him to stay?" Subaru asked.

"Why the hell can't I eat with you?" Ryo snapped.

"Because you’re the star." Subaru spat. "Why don’t you go and eat your room service meals?"

"Shut the fuck up!" Ryo moved away from Ohkura and advanced to Subaru.

Subaru stood up to Ryo, his fists clenched. "You don't know what kind of hell we've had to go through because of you."

"What do you mean hell?" Ryo demanded.

Ohkura decided to take his life in his hands. He got between Ryo and Subaru. "Stop it both of you."

"Stay out of this!" Subaru told Ohkura. "It doesn't involve you!"

"Ryo might get a little testy sometimes," Ohkura said. "But he's our band mate! He works hard for the good of all of us."

"What about Ryo’s special treatment?" Yoko asked sarcastically. “Always the best for Johnny’s boy!”

"There will be no more special treatment," Ryo told him. "None what so ever."

"You're Johnny-sama's favorite. He'll give you anything if you suck his cock!" Subaru gave Ohkura a little shove, trying to get him to move away from Ryo. . "Why would he take away your rewards?"

"It's not right for the rest of you not to be treated well," Ryo said firmly. "I am now on the same budget as the rest of the group."

"Why should we believe you?" Yoko asked.

"I don't believe it!" Subaru snapped. “You’re lying! You always lie!”

"If you don't want me to eat with you, that's fine." Ryo turned to leave. "I don't stay where I'm not wanted."

"Ryo-Chan wait." Ohkura reached out, taking his friend's hand. "I want you to stay with me."

Ryo looked into Ohkura's eyes. Instead of fear, he saw determination. For a moment, the only thing that existed in the room was the two of them. It was a magical moment. That was the moment that Ryo realized that Ohkura loved him too, though he wasn't quite ready to say it yet.

"All right, I'll stay, for you Tacchan." Ryo said softly.

Still looking into Ryo's eyes, Ohkura smiled the first real smile he had smiled in a year. The smile reaching to Ohkura's eyes.

Ryo could hear the rest of the group talking to each other, but that no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was his Tacchan.


A few minutes passed. The group had settled down. Though Subaru kept glaring at Ryo. He didn't look at anyone as he sat on the edge of the bed. Ohkura sat beside him. Ohkura still couldn't believe how much some of the rest of the group hated him. Subaru glared at Ryo. Subaru was an old friend of Ryo; Ohkura couldn’t understand why he suddenly hated him.

There was a knock on the door. Hina grabbed the money and answered it. He could hear Hina talking to the delivery person.

Ohkura glanced at Ryo, who smiled a little bit. He put his hand on top of his friend’s. “It’s going to be all right.”

"Pizza's here!" Hina brought the pizza in and put it on the only table. Maru opened a cooler. He passed cokes out to everyone.

'Thank you," Ryo said as he took a coke.

"I only brought six plates." Shota looked apologetic.

"Get out Ryo!" Subaru ordered. "Don't you realize that you're not wanted?"

"Baru's right," Yoko agreed. "Ryo's a sell out."

Ryo looked like he was going to go off on Subaru. Ohkura knew he had to stop it quickly before they had another fight.

"It's all right," Ohkura said. "You can share my plate."

Ryo looked depressed as Ohkura got two pieces of pizza.

"Why do you hang out with him?" Subaru asked. "He's an asshole!"

"So are you!" Ohkura handed the plate to Ryo. Then he went to Subaru. "I mean it, leave Ryo alone!"

"Baru, please be nice." Shota told him.

"I’m not going to be nice to him!” Subaru countered. “I trusted him and he betrayed us!”

Ohkura went to Ryo, who hadn't started eating yet. He stood in front of Ryo protectively.

"All right everyone!" Hina ordered. "We've been together too long to be at each other's throats. Baru, you know we've all had to do thing we didn't want with Johnny-sama. Don't hate Ryo for what he did."

"But Ryo's Johnny-sama's favorite! He went back to him." Yoko pointed out. “He would sell out his mother if it gave him a chance to suck Johnny-sama’s cock!”

"I could kill you for that!" Ohkura went to Yoko hitting him hard across the face. “Don’t you ever talk about Ryo like that again?”

"How can you love a man who sleeps with someone else?" Subaru demanded. He's a slut!"

Ohkura launched himself at Subaru hitting him. Subaru was much stronger, but Ohkura held his own. He met every punch with one of his own.

Subaru gave Ohkura a hard shove. He landed on his bad arm. Tears began to pour down Ohkura's face. He held his hurt arm against his chest. But still, Ohkura struggled to get up, to fight back.

Something in Ryo snapped. He went around his friend, and began to pound Subaru. All he could think of was to protect Ohkura.

It took Yoko, Shota and Maru to get Ryo off of Subaru. Subaru went to Ryo and punched him hard in the face. "You’re a slut, nothing but a slut. A brat that gets anything he wants!"

"You hurt Tacchan!" Ryo screamed. "His arm's hurt!"

"It's his own fault." Subaru said with a curl of his lip.

“But he needs surgery! He might loose his arm!” Ryo insisted.

“Ryo, please. Don’t say anything else.” Ohkura begged. “I don’t want them to feel sorry for me.”

"If you don't tell them the truth I will Tacchan." Hina told Ohkura. “It’s not fair that everyone doesn’t know the real reason why Ryo gave himself to Johnny-sama.”

"What truth is that?" Subaru sneered. "Ryo sold us out, that's all I need to know!"

"After the accident, Johnny-sama fired me." Ohkura cradled his arm to his chest.

"You were fired?"

"How could you be fired?" Shota asked. "You're here now!"

"I'm here because of Ryo. He went to Johnny-sama. He made a deal with Johnny-sama. He went back to being the favorite so that I wouldn’t be fired." Tears started falling down Ohkura's face. "Don't hate Ryo, hate me. You have to hate me. I shouldn't even be in the group. I'm blind in one eye, and my arm doesn't work right. I don't deserve to be a member of Kanjani 8!"

Hina took Ohkura into his arms. "Take Ryo to his room."

Ryo felt himself being dragged out of the hotel room, to the room he shared with Ohkura. Then he was shoved in, and the door was locked behind him.

He was beyond angry. Subaru was right, he was a sell out. He never thought it mattered, until now. But Ohkura had stood up for him. Ohkura, gentle, sweet Ohkura was up in people's faces defending him. That was the thing that made Ryo realizes that Ohkura loved him too.

His friend has said something that had shocked him. Ohkura and Hina knew about the deal. Ryo hadn't told him, so who could have told him? Then he realized; it must have been Johnny-sama.

As Ryo calmed down, he realized it all had to end, Ohkura's pain, his serving Johnny-sama. He knew that there was one more thing he could do, the thing that would allow Ohkura to have his surgery. It was very, very risky, but Ryo had to try, for his friend.

He took out his ketai and dialed Johnny-sama's number.


After almost thirty minutes, Ohkura went back to his hotel room. Hina kept him in his room just to make sure that Ohkura’s arm was all right. It was still swollen, but it was feeling better.

He found Ryo talking on his Ketai. When he saw Ohkura, he went into the bathroom, shutting the door. Ohkura decided to listen in.

"Yes, sir, I understand." Ryo said softly. There was a long pause. "No sir, I won't talk to the press." After a few moments he said. "I'll see you later sir."

Ohkura could hear the sound of Ryo hitting the wall with his fist. Then he began to trash the bathroom.

Ohkura knew it was dangerous to talk to Ryo when he was this way, but he had to get him to calm down.

Ohkura went into the bath room. Ryo was kicking the trash can over and over.

He looked up to Ohkura. "Get out!"

"What happened Ryo-Chan?"

"I said get out!" He ordered.

"Not until you tell me what the hell is going on?" The taller man demanded.

Ryo raised his fist to hit Ohkura. Instinctively Ohkura put his hand over his face to protect his artificial eye. Then Ryo turned and hit the paper towel dispenser. He leaned his head against the rack and began to cry tears of frustration.

Ohkura wasn't sure what to do. Then he went to Ryo, he put his arms around him. Ryo turned so that he could put his arms around Ohkura's waist. 'What happened?"

"I've been fired from News. He said I had to make a sacrifice. I accepted, I didn't even ask what it was. I just had to get what I wanted." Ryo's body shook against his. "I'm now just like you, an associate."

"Why did this happen?"

"I stood up to Johnny-sama. I’m sick of the way you’ve been treated." Ryo confessed. "But I had to pay a price for Johnny-sama. That price was my becoming an associate, and being fired from NEWS."

"You shouldn't have done that." Ohkura told him. "I'm not worth the price you had to pay."

I wanted to make sure you got your surgery. I've been so worried." More tears.

"My surgery?"

"You'll get it. I've given up everything so you can get it." Ryo began to sob. "I don't want to talk, just hold me."

Ohura's arms tightened around his friend. Ryo's body trembled against his as he cried. He never thought of Ryo as being smaller then him, but his friend seemed tinier then a child. Ryo's head went to Ohkura's shoulder, hiding his face against it.

Ohkura wanted to make it better for Ryo, but he couldn't. He did the only thing he could. He held his friend, giving him the support that Ryo had given him since Uchi died. As Ohkura held Ryo, he realized that his heart had healed, and that he wanted to spend a life at this man's side. It was like Ohkura saw the real Ryo for the very first time, and he loved it.

He touched Ryo's chin, pulling it up so that he could look into Ryo's eyes. Ohkura kissed Ryo's lips; Ryo sighed and gave into the kiss. The tears fell down Ryo's face as they kissed. Ryo's lips parted just a little, enough to let Ohkura slip his tongue in. Then he loved Ryo with his tongue. Ryo's arms went around him. His friend almost melting into Ohkura.

Ryo began to pull away from Ohkura, but Ohkura wouldn't let him go "Don't reject me. Please, not this time."

"I'm not good for you," More tears from Ryo.

"I love you."

"You don't love me. You love Hiroki...” Ryo's eyes were confused.

"I will always love Hiroki." Ohkura felt Ryo freeze against him. "But he's in the past, you're in my future. I love you so much Ryo."

"I love you too," For the first time Ryo looked really scared. "How did you know about my deal with Johnny-sama?"

"When I got the letter telling me I was back in the group. He told me about the deal." Ohkura explained. "All this time, I thought of you as my hero. You gave yourself up to protect me."

Their lips met. Ohkura wasn't sure who kissed who first. The kiss seemed so right, so wonderful.

"Please Ryo, don't push me away." Ohkura said when they broke for air.

"I'll hurt your arm." Ryo protested weakly.

"It's going to hurt anyway," Ohkura pointed out. "I would rather it hurt doing something loving, then just work."

"You're right," Ryo kissed Ohkura. The kiss no longer gentle, it was full of the hunger, the need, the want that Ryo felt for Ohkura.

Ryo pulled his new lover to the bed. Both undressing on the way. Ryo had lube with him, which was good, since Ohkura didn't usually carry it. Then for the first time in over a year, Ohkura made love to someone. There was so much for Ohkura to remember as they loved. The way Ryo moved under him as they loved. The way that Ryo pushed onto him, until Ohkura couldn't fit even a millimeter of more of himself into Ryo, the way Ryo threw his head back and screamed. "Tadayoshi!"

Ohkura would remember this day forever. The day that he finally let someone besides Uchi completely into his heart. Ohkura knew that Ryo would never really replace Uchi. Ohkura's love for Ryo was something different, something new. He knew no one would ever take Ryo from him. There would be struggles in the future, but it would be all right, because he had Ryo.