Title: A Late Valentines Day Gift (One shot)
Summary: Two members of Kanjani 8 are in love. But because of things that happen, one decides that he must break up with the other.
I'm not sure when I fell in love with my oldest friend. We have been friends since the day we joined the agency. He was a strong brother that I had never had. He was the one that always protected me.
I promised myself that I would never fall in love again, not after what happened with Tackey. He had destroyed my trust. But then, my best friend came into my heart. He promised to protect me. It was his idea to tell everyone that we were together. It was to keep Tackey away from me. We both knew that Tackey would leave me alone if I was with someone else.
We were just friends who acted like lovers around everyone else. He is the strong one in our friendship. He is the one that is more open, more confident. Almost everyone is his friend. It's his personality I think. He has that type that everyone seems to gravitate to.
I am shyer, quieter. I'm an idol, but I don't like to approach people. I'd rather be alone then with large groups of people. I'm pretty good at faking it. I can smile as I'm expected to, be cheerful in front of the cameras. The cameras don't know about the depression I must take medications for. A depression that had once driven me over the edge.
I can still remember that day, in the summer of 2004; it was just a few months before we debuted. Tackey had seduced me into taking him back. Then, I find out that I was just a lay. I fell into the black pit of depression. When I woke, my wrist was bleeding. I still can't remember cutting it. I called my best friend.
I'm not sure when I started loving him, but I always thought of it as the beginning of us. We never touched, we never kissed, yet we were together.
I just wonder why it all had to go so wrong.
I still donít' understand why I never saw it. How the kid I always thought of as my brother became my enemy. Perhaps it was because of my love for my best friend. I trusted him. I believed his promises that no one would come between us.
I think my first clue came during our 47 tour. Yoko began to spend a lot of time around my friend. It was all right, I felt as if he was my brother. My best friend began to spend more and more time with Yoko.
That was when I began to hang around Shota more. Shota was the brother that wouldn't betray me. Besides, Shota had his own pain. A pain that was so much like mine. He too had to watch the one he was in love with spending most of his time with another.
It was after the New Years countdown that Shota tells me his plan. He is going to confess his feelings to Yoko on Valentines Day. I decide that I too will tell my best friend my feelings. Then perhaps the nightmare of seeing my best friend with Yoko will end. My best friend will become my lover, and we will be together.
I get home before my best friend does. We had plans for Valentines Day. Today would be the day I confess to him. My cell rings. It's a txt message, from him. "I'm sorry, I have to help Yoko. I will be there soon as I can."
Yoko, he's chosen Yoko over me.
It's too late, I realize for the last time. I waited for too long to tell him my feelings. I look at the gift I had bought him. I should take it back. He has Yoko now. He doesn't need my gift. I decide I have to give it to him. It will be my goodbye to him.
I write a letter to him, my final letter. I don't want to tell him goodbye. But I will have to say good bye. I don't want to have what happened with Tackey happen again. This time, I have to be in charge.
There is an old movie that once said "Love means never saying good bye." But I know that's not true. That's not what love is. Love is saying good bye. Love is saying good bye if it's in the best interest of the person you love.
I put the note on the gift. Then I leave. He has another. He no longer loves me. I still lie to myself, telling myself that he did love me once. But I know the truth. He was only a friend to me, nothing more.
I go to Shota's apartment. He understands what I am going through. He is in the same boat I am. He has one he loves, one that he waited too long. Now the one I love is with the one he loves. He says I can stay as long as I want. I don't tell him about my friend spending the night with Yoko. I don't want Shota to feel the same pain as I am.
I'm not sure when I fell in love with my oldest friend. He's been at my side since we joined the agency. I can still remember the day that I found him heartbroken. Tackey had taken him back, had promised him that this time it would be different. He had promised him and he had lied. I can still remember the call. "I cut myself, and I can't stop the bleeding."
I found my friend in time. He had cut is right wrist. I got him to the hospital. The doctors were able to stitch up his wrist. But there is a scar, one that Johnny Sama was very angry about. Idols don't cut their wrists.
Since then, my friend had been forced to wear a glove the scar every time we were on stage. My proud friend, having to hide it.
That was when I came up with the plan. We pretended to everyone that we are together. I did this to protect my friend from those who might hurt him.
I'm not sure when my feelings for him turned from friendship to love. There was just one day I realized that I couldn't live without him. Perhaps I should have confessed to him, but I didn't want to destroy our very special friendship.
The one I love has been acting really strange lately. I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's the strain of us trying to get Yoko and Shota together. Yoko loves Shota, but is afraid to approach him. So I've been trying to get them together.
My friend and I have plans for Valentines Day. He wants to make it special for me. I am thrilled. Perhaps, just perhaps he loves me the way I love him.
I gave Yoko a ride home from the studio. We stopped together at a store to get Shota something. I texted my friend to tell him that I was running late.
I brought Yoko with me. I wanted him to show my love the gift he had bought for Shota. But he wasn't there. The only thing waiting for me was a small gift and a letter. I pick up the letter.
"There used to be a movie we watched together, one that said that if you loved someone you wouldnít' say good bye. I now realize that that is a lie. If you love someone, you have to think of him, and tell him good bye. I always thought you would be at my side. I finally got up the courage to tell you how I feel for you. I was so scared, did you know that? I hadn't told anyone those words since Tackey. But I waited too long. You found Yoko. It broke my heart when I got the txt telling me that you where running late because of him.
Sometimes I wish that I had told you last Valentines Day. I wonder if it would have changed anything. Would we be together, or would you still have been with Yoko?
When I was younger, I did something stupid. I hung onto the one I loved, even though he had Tsubasa. I had hoped that he would have chosen me over him. It's like I'm reliving it again. This time I promise myself it will be different. I am letting you go. I hope you and Yoko are happy.
I have a friend I'll move in with. Shota is going through the same thing I am. The two of you hurt him too. Shota loves Yoko as much as I love you.
I showed the note to Yoko.
We decide to find my friend. We go to Shota's apartment. For the first time, I am glad that we live in the same apartment building that Shota does. I knock on the door. Shota answers. The look Shota gives Yoko makes me realize what my friend has told me was the truth. Shota thinks that I'm with Yoko.
"What do you need?" Shota couldn't keep the anger out of his voice.
"Is he here?" I asked.
"He doesnít' want you to know." He looked us over. "Please donít' do this to us. Not tonight."
"I don't understand."
"We know the two of you are together." Shota sounded heartbroken.
"Let us in," Yoko orders.
"I can't," Shota tells him.
We push our way in. Shota protests. But he doesn't fight against Yoko
Yoko grabs Shota's hand and shoves something into it. "This is from me."
Shota looks at the gift. "From you?"
"It's valentines day. I had to give you a gift." Yoko told him.
"A gift?" Shota smiled a special smile at Yoko. "You gave me a gift."
"Where is he?" I asked Shota.
"He's hiding in the spare bedroom." Shota didnt' take his eyes off of Yoko.
"I'm sorry that I made you think I had someone else." Yoko told him. "I was gathering up the courage to tell you how I felt for you."
I go to the spare bedroom. He is hiding. He's good at hiding. I have to find him. I am so afraid that it will be like Tackey that he'll hurt himself. I'm not sure he's taken his medicine. If he has, he won't get suicidal, but if he hasn't... I knew he had to find him.
The closet is the last place I look, it's so obvious, and I should have looked there first.
"Go away." He tells me.
"Why should I?" I told him.
"You have Yoko, you don't need Me." he tries to pull himself into a tight ball. Thinking I won't see him.
I crawl into the closet with him.
"Why did you have to bring Yoko with you?" His voice was harsh. "If you really wanted to get with me, why did you bring him?"
"He came with me so that he could give Shota his valentineís gift."
"Why would he give Shota a gift? Isn't he with you?"
"Of course not," I put my arm around him. He pulls away from me. "How could I have someone like Yoko, when I have you?"
"But you and Yoko..."
"Yoko's in love with Shota. I've been trying to get the two of them together." I try to explain.
"In love with Shota?"
I kissed him, I'm not sure why. He didnít believe anything I told him. I just hoped that by kissing him that he might understand. His lips were tight against mine. He didn't kiss back. I'm not sure why I expected him to.
Instead, he pulled away from me. His eyes looked so confused. "Please, if you're with Yoko tell me. Don't do this to me. I canít' stand being the other lover."
There was a loud noise on the other side of the wall. Then giggling from Shota. We didn't say anything for a few minutes. Instead we just listened. On the other side of the wall was Shota's bed.
"What are we listening for?" he whispered to me.
I put my finger on his lips. "Just listen, for the proof that I'm not with Yoko."
We listened. There was a thud from Shota's bed, and then another and another until it became a rhythm. Shota and Yoko had just gotten together, and all ready they were making love.
I had to take the chance again, hoping beyond hope that he finally believed that I wasn't with Yoko. I put my arms around him. I whispered to him not to pull away from me. Something in my friend changed. His body relaxed. He put his arm around me, his hand stroked my back. The strokes deep, nothing like I've felt from him before.
"You're the only one," I told him. "I've never loved anyone the way I love you."
"I love you too," he told me, his voice so scared.
"I'm not Tackey; I would never, ever cheat on you." I insisted. "Please believe me."
"I do, I have to." he breathed.
Our lips met, this time there was no resistance from him. Instead, there was a small sigh, and then he kissed me back.
Perhaps we should have had our first time in Shota's closet. But my new lover has become shy again. He doesn't want Yoko and Shota to hear us being together. He begs me to let us go upstairs to our apartment. I love him so much, I have to agree.
We kiss in the hallway, we kiss in the elevator. We barely get into our apartment, when he kisses me again, this kiss so different. He begins to take off my clothes as we kiss.
I never thought our first time would be in the entryway, or our second time in the living room, or our third in the kitchen. We tried out every room before we settled to rest in the bedroom.
We lay together, this time not just friends, but lovers. We both felt that bonelss feeling that one always gets when they are fully satiated. I take his right hand in mine, and kiss his tattoo. My lover, so shy but inside him has the heart of a heavy metal star. His tattoo proves it.
"I can't believe I thought you were with Yoko." He tells me.
"Why would I want him?" I counter. "Not when I have the best lover around."
"You think I'm good?" He teases.
"Yeah, I think you're good." I agree.
"You're good too." he sounds sleepy.
"Go to sleep Baru-Chan, I'll be here when you wake." I promise.
"I'll hold you to that Hina," My lover tells me before he falls asleep.
I too fall asleep. Knowing that in the morning, I will wake up to my new lover's smile.