Title: New Beginnings: Part Three Aftereffects
Author: Kyoko Godaikun
Disclaimer: I don’t own Domoto Koichi or Domoto Tsuyoshi. They own each other.
Warning: This story contains Bishonnen Ai. Do not read if you are offended by Male/male love
Warning two: This story discusses non-consensual sexual abuse and violence. Do not read if you are offended by this
Archiving: The only place that has permission to archive this story is Katrinka’s page. No one else may archive this without the express permission of the author!
The sun had all ready rose when Tsuyoshi returne
Tsuyoshi knew he should leave, and give the two some
privacy. His aching body though otherwise. It took all his strength to get to
his bed, an
*I'm sorry Koichi. I wanted you to be my first.* the tears he had held in began to flow. *Why didn't you tell me love hurt?*
A few minutes passed. He could hear Sakamoto saying very softly. "Junichi, wake up."
"I'm tired Yuki-chan, you kept me up too late." The boy said half asleep.
He could hear movement in the room. Then Okada asked. "Tsuyoshi, are you all right?"
"Go away." Tsuyoshi wipe
"Tsuyoshi?" Sakamoto touched his shoulder.
"Leave me alone!" he turned over, lashing out at the V6 leader. "Don't touch me!'
Tsuyoshi wrapped himself in a blanket, an
"You've been hurt. We have to help you." He went to Tsuyoshi's side.
"I don't want to be helped!" Tsuyoshi insisted. "Get away from me!"
"Yuki, leave him alone." Okada said.
"Tsuyoshi's been hurt." Sakamoto told him.
"I know that. It was my fault." The younger man
explained. "Our manager asked me if I had seen them going off alone
together. I mentione
"You didn't tell him anything else did you?" Sakamoto glared at him.
"No, he beat me and beat me, and I wouldn't say anything else." Okada insisted. "Tsuyoshi's one of my few friends. I couldn't betray him."
Sakamoto sat down next to the closet. "Tsu-chan, are you bleeding?"
"I don't think so." Tsuyoshi looked at him. "I'm not sure. It still hurts."
"It will hurt for a while." Sakamoto told him. "Did he rape you?"
Tsuyoshi nodded. 'You won't tell anyone will you?"
Okada put his hand on Sakamoto's shoulder. "Yuki-Chan’s is good at keeping secrets."
"Does love always hurt this much?"
"Real love feels wonderful." Okada said.
"Can't you remember being with Koichi? How di
"I am... I mean was a virgin." Tsuyoshi corrected. "How am I going to tell Koichi about this?"
"Koichi will stay at your side." The alarm
rang. Sakamoto glanced at it, an
"I'll be fine." Tsuyoshi lied. "I just nee
The older man put his clothes back on, an
"I will." Okada promised.
He leaned forward kissing the younger man gently. "Bye."
"See you later, Yuki-chan."
Sakamoto glanced at Tsuyoshi. "Be careful Jun-chan. We can't be caught."
"Sorry, it just slipped out." he said sheepishly.
Sakamoto kissed Okada one more time, then left. Okada watched him leave, then shut the door.
After Sakamoto left, Okada left Tsuyoshi alone. He felt safe in the closet. No one would find him there. He kept thinking of Koichi. He could still remember all the times his friend had come home from visiting the mansion crying. Now Tsuyoshi knew the pain he felt.
*How could you put up with the abuse day after day?*
There was a tapping on the door then Nagase burst in, wearing his school uniform. "Tsuyoshi! If you don't get up, we're going to be late for school." He stopped when he saw Okada. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm Tsuyoshi's new roommate. I was tol
"Did our manager send Tsuyoshi back?" He looked around. "Where is he?"
Okada got up, blocking between Nagase an
"What do you mean, he isn't going to school?"
Nagase pushed past the younger boy. For the first time he saw Tsuyoshi. "Oh my god." he turned back to the teenager, hitting him in the face. "This happened because of you!"
"I know that." Okada admitted. "Do you think I *wanted* this to happen to him?"
"Yes, I do!" Another hit, then Nagase turne
"Leave me alone." Tsuyoshi pulled himself into a tighter ball. "Don't make me go to school today."
"Of course you're not going." Nagase put his
book bag down. He knelt in front of the closet. He turne
"Hai!" Okada ran out of the room.
"I don't want to see Leader." Tsuyoshi said. "I don't want anyone to know what happened."
"What did happen?"
"I was punished for breaking the rules." He wiped a tear off his face. "Go ahead, go to school. I'll be okay."
Just then Leader came into the room. "Okada sai
"I need you to write two excuse notes, one for me, and one for Tsuyoshi. Say we're sick." Nagase said.
"You're not sick." The leader looked him over.
"Besides, this is your senior year.
You're not suppose
"Tsuyoshi's been traumatized. He's hiding in the closet." Nagase told him. "He was punished severely by our Manager. He might be injured."
"He can take care of himself."
"Shingeru, Tsuyoshi wouldn't know what to do if he was hurt. He was a virgin."
"He was a virgin." Leader grew pale. "I'll write the notes. Okada can take them to school when he goes."
"I don't want to go to school." Okada told him.
"Do you want to tell our manager that you’re not going?" Leader asked. "Go take a shower and get ready!"
"Yes leader." Okada grabbed his bath supplies and left the room.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Leader said very softly.
"I don't feel like talking." Tsuyoshi told him. "I just want to know how Koichi and Okada live with this everyday. Knowing that at any time, he might call, and you'll be hurt again."
"It's hard. You get afraid of the phone ringing. A stranger at the door might be someone to pick you up for the Manager." Leader suddenly looked sad. "You'll do anything to fill the pain in your soul. Drinking, drugs, letting other people use your body. But when it's all over, and you've grown too old for him, the fear begins to fade. You begin to realize that the pain you feel isn't your fault."
"Oh kami." Tsuyoshi said, as he realized what he had been told. "How old where you when it stopped?"
"Thank you leader," Nagase said.
Tsuyoshi watched as Leader wrote the notes. The news about him and Sakamoto sunk in. *No wonder Okada's with Sakamoto, he has someone who can truly understand what he's going through.*
Sometime around ,
Nagase had declare
He sat in the closet. He wante
Tsuyoshi grabbed his robe, and shower things. He went the
bathroom. He locke
*I don't want to feel this way anymore.* Tsuyoshi turne
Memories washed over him as the water fell on him. Of the pain of his first time, how he had cried during it. Of the cameras that filmed his humiliation. How he spent the night being used again and again.
Tsuyoshi scrubbed and scrubbed himself. Still, the feeling wouldn't go away. After a while, the water turned from hot to
warm, then cold. Still Tsuyoshi trie
"Tsuyoshi, are you in there?" He could hear Nagase yell for him.
He didn't answer; he was too busy trying to get clean. He scrubbed himself with a stiff brush trying to get the dirty feeling to go away. It didn't work. He still felt filthy.
*Koichi, how could you live with this every day?* he
asked himself. *How can I tell you it happene
Minutes passed. Tsuyoshi didn't know how many. Then the door was unlocked from the outside.
"Tsuyoshi!" Nagase went to the shower. "Shingeru I found him!"
"Leave me alone. I have to get clean." Tsuyoshi told him.
"The water's was freezing. It's time to get out." Nagase he grabbed Tsuyoshi's arm.
"Don't touch me!" Terrified he punched Nagase.
Then fell to the floor with him, as the taller man didn't let go of his
arm. Tsuyoshi fought against
Nagase. He kicked, punched, and scratche
"Tsu-chan I'm your friend." Nagase trie
"You're going to hurt me! I won't let you."
"Let him go!" Leader ordered.
"Get your hands off of me!" Tsuyoshi grabbed a handful of Nagase's long hair pulling as hard as he could.
"Ouch!" Nagase Yelped. "Let go of my hair!"
Tsuyoshi responded by pulling harder and kicking him.
"What are you doing Tomoya?" Leader asked.
"I'm trying to help him!"
"If you want to help him, let go of his arm." Leader insisted.
"He might run!" He put his hand on top of Tsuyoshi's as he yanked once again on his hair. "I'm going to be bald if he doesn't stop this!"
"If you're really his friend, do as I say." The leader told him quietly. "I've been through what he has. I can help him. Just let go of him, and wait for him in his room."
"You're right." Nagase let go of Tsuyoshi. "Tsu-chan, let go of my hair."
"You'll leave me alone?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Yes, I will! Now let go of my hair!"
Tsuyoshi did as he was told. Nagase rubbed his head, an
He got back to his feet, and went under the shower again.
"Tsuyoshi." Leader told him very softy. "You've showered enough. It's time to get in the bathtub."
"I must get clean." Tsuyoshi grabbed a sponge and began to scrub his raw skin.
"The bathtub is better for getting clean." He tempted. "The water's warm, soothing. It will make the feeling go away."
Tsuyoshi stopped his scrubbing. "You know the feeling?"
"I've felt that way many times before. No one except for those who have gone through what we have knows what it is. How you can never get clean." Leader reached out, turning off the water. "I thought you might need a bath, so I all ready drew one."
Tsuyoshi let his friend guide him to the tub. The leader took the lid off. Tsuyoshi reached out, touching the water. It was as he had been told. It was warm. He got into the tub, and sat down. The warmth made his bruises and aching bones feel better.
"Will you stay here with me?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Of course I will." he pulled up a chair and
sat down. They chatted for quite a while
about their homes in
"I don't think you know this, but you were Koichi first friend." Leader told him.
"You're kidding." Tsuyoshi gasped. "Koichi has lots of friends."
"Koichi once told me that you tried as hard as you
"Yeah, we've been together for quite a while." Tsuyoshi told him. "He's a good friend. He's very loyal."
"You're a good frien
"I wish he was here. Somehow he would make this entire stop."
"Why don't you soak for a while?" Leader suggested.
Tsuyoshi leaned against the wall of the bath tub and closed his eyes. After about thirty minutes, Tsuyoshi began to feel better. He had questions, questions that he knew Nagase would never be able to answer.
"Our Manager said he will call for me tonight." Tsuyoshi told Leader. "What can I do to make it not hurt so much?"
"You can't fight back." Leader warned. "It makes the beatings worse."
"I don't want it to happen." Tsuyoshi insisted.
"I know you don't. It angers the Manager when you struggle." He paused. "When he wants to have sex you must relax."
The memory of the rape flashe
"Close your eyes think of Koichi. Pretend it's him." The older man suggested.
"He'll never forgive me for this." Tsuyoshi paused. "He called me a whore. He was right."
"No, he was wrong when he called you that." Leader said. "He feels bad for calling you those names. You know that don't you?"
"Yes, I do." Tsuyoshi looked at his friend. "Can I get out now?"
"How are you feeling?"
"I'll survive." Tsuyoshi realized.
"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Leader
offered. "I talke
"I'm forbidden to go." he looked down to his
bruised arms. "Besides, I don't
want him to see me this way. It would be better if he remembers how I use
"Would you? I would really like to write to him." Tsuyoshi decided.
'Why don't you get out, and write him that note?" Leader suggested.
"Okay, I will." Tsuyoshi got out of the tub. The leader helped him towel himself off. Then he handed him his robe.
Koichi was a very bored man. The doctor ha
All Koichi ha
He had dim memories of Tsuyoshi being with him after the surgery. He could remember his friend had placed his ring back on his finger. He wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality. He felt warm, comforted when he thought of his friend. He looked down to the ring.
Just then Leader came into the room. He was caring a bag. Koichi hi
"Good afternoon." Koichi trie
"He's at the dorms." Leader seeme
"He didn't come with you." He looked away from Leader. "He hasn't forgiven me yet."
"Tsuyoshi wants to come. But our Manager has forbidden him to."
Koichi looked back to the leader. "Why would he do that?"
"I don't know. I've never been able to understand our manager." He said.
"Am I going to have any visitors?"
"Probably tomorrow." he put the bag he was holding on Koichi's lap. "Tsuyoshi sent you some presents."
"Sure," Leader took them out. He opene
"I'd rather have him."
"You can't have everything." Leader shut the
book. He set it on the bedside table. Then he took the bag from Koichi. He
pulled out a piece of paper. "He wanted you to rea
"Thanks." he took the paper.
How are you doing? I've been thinking of you a lot. Is your arm feeling any better? It has been very boring without you around. Doing my homework isn't quite the same. I miss your smile. I didn't realize how important you are to me until suddenly you where gone.
I want to visit you, but I've been forbidden to. If I had my way, I would be at your side. Instead I have to visit you through a letter. I am sorry for what happened. Our fight was my fault. I should have told Shingo to find someone else to rub his back. I didn't know he would hurt you.
There is so much I want to tell you. Things I don't want to put in a letter. You're my partner, a relationship that is beyond friendship, beyond family, beyond a lover. If I call you partner no one would question us. But we would know the truth. Can I start calling you partner?
Leader knows about our relationship. Can we trust him?
Management has canceled our TV appearances until you get out of hospital. So don't worry about not seeing me on TV. I'll write to you again.
I forgive you for
being with Mabo. He's confesse
Love you, Tsuyoshi
Koichi put the note down. "What's wrong with Tsuyoshi?"
"What do you mean?" Leader asked innocently.
"Something's bothering him."
"How can you tell?"
"I know Tsuyoshi." Koichi rea
"He's very worried about you. He blames himself for what happened." Leader finally said.
"That's crazy, all this is my fault." Koichi knew something else must be going on. Perhaps Leader didn't know what it was. "If I wrote a letter, could you deliver it for me?"
"Of course I would." Leader handed Koichi his
notebook book and a pencil. Koichi opene
Please forgive me for being such a Baga. I was jealous. You are my prince. I should have trusted you. Don't blame yourself for what happened. It's my fault.
I would be honored if you called me partner. I agree with you, our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family. I can't see my life without you. It's so strange. Just a few years ago we didn't know each other, but now it seems if I've known you all my life. You know me better then I know myself.
Don't worry about Leader telling on us. He won't.
Do you remember them calling us Double Domoto? I thought
it was strange that I would be partnered with someone with my own family
name. Even then you seemed so
glamorous. At the time I knew there was
something wrong with me. Before I joine
I want to get out of hospital. I want to hold you again. I want to prove to you that I'll be true to you.
I better get going. Leader is looking at me funny.
Running, Tsuyoshi was running. He ha
*I have to get to him!*
Tsuyoshi ran towards his friend. The sounds of the hunters pursuing him where
getting closer and closer. He ran into a fence. He could see Koichi a few
meters from him. Tsuyoshi trie
"Koichi! Koichi" he screamed. "Help me! Ko-chan!"
His friend looked up to him; there was blood all over his shirt. His nose was broken; he held his broken arm close to his body. "I can’t," Koichi told him. "I'm too injured."
Tsuyoshi could feel his hunters grabbing him. He held onto the fence tightly. "Koichi, help me!"
"This is your punishment." Koichi hissed.
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"You cheated on me! You promised me that I would your first." there was hatred in his eyes. "Take your punishment as a man!"
"Koichi!" he cried as the hunters took him away.
Suddenly Tsuyoshi was awake. Someone was sitting in front of him. The stranger reached out, touching him. "It's okay."
"Don't touch me!" Tsuyoshi lashed out at the person.
"Tsu-chan. It's me Junichi." the boy said calmly. "You where dreaming."
"Dreaming?" Tsuyoshi repeated.
Tsuyoshi suddenly knew where he was. He was in the closet of his bedroom. Tsuyoshi's roommate sat on the closet floor beside him, he looked concerned. "Are you all right?"
"I had a dream." Tsuyoshi moved his hair out of
his face. It had been nine days since he
became the Manager's favorite. Nine days of a living nightmare. Not only did he
have nightmares at the Manager's mansion, he ha
"Perhaps you should go back to sleep." Okada suggested.
"No! I'll have the dream again."
"What was it about?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Were you dreaming being locked in the closet?" Okada guessed. "I dream about that sometimes. I dream that he's put me in there, and forgotten about me."
"I forget that you've gone through it too." Tsuyoshi said. "If I told you my dream, would you tell on me?"
“You’re my friend."
"That's very scary." Okada admitted.
"I don't know why Koichi won't help me in my dreams."
"He can't help because he's in the hospital."
"I don't understand." Tsuyoshi said confused. "It's a dream. Why couldn't he help me?"
"In your dream, you're running from what's been happening to you." Okada explained. "The one you know would help you can't. He's in the hospital."
"You're right." Tsuyoshi said. "I feel as if Koichi had been there none of it would have happened. He would have protected me."
"Perhaps you should go to the hospital an
"No I can't!" He almost shouted. He took a deep breath. "I don't want him to see me this way."
"Why don't you go back to sleep?"
"I can't. I'll have the dream again."
"I can sleep with you. Perhaps if I'm there, it might help."
"You won't hurt me?" Tsuyoshi asked afraid.
"No, I won't hurt you!" Okada smiled. "I'll be there only as a friend." Tsuyoshi moved over. Okada got into the closet. He lay down beside him, not touching.
"No, it was about a month later." Okada told him. "I became Sakamoto's roommate. I didn't tell him what happened. How could I? But he knew, some how he knew. If I had dreams, he would be there for me. I felt safe in his arms. No one would hurt me if he was with me."
"You fell in love with him." Tsuyoshi guessed.
"I didn't mean to. It just happened. I didn't tell him. He's so much older then me."
"Then how did you become lovers?"
"Yuki-chan once told me that love feels different
when you want it." Okada paused.
"You seduced him? I thought he would be the one to seduce you."
"You didn't think I could seduce Sakamoto because I'm younger?" Okada raised a knowing eyebrow. "Yuki-chan was right; it did feel different when you want it."
"Does he love you?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"To him I'm just a friend. But I'm happy with what we have."
"Koichi sleeps around."
"Try to understand why he did it. He once told me that sleeping with someone made the dirty feeling go away for a few hours."
"When Koichi gets out of the hospital, He'll stay at
your side. He'll support you." his frien
"I can't tell him what happened." Tsuyoshi
admitted. "I'm too ashame
"Go to sleep, you nee
"Your right, I do." Tsuyoshi closed his eyes. With his friend beside him, he slept.