Title: New Beginnings: Part Four Koichiís Choice

Author: Kyoko Godaikun

Email: kyoko_godaikun@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I donít own Domoto Koichi or Domoto Tsuyoshi. They own each other.

Warning: This story contains Bishonnen Ai. Do not read if you are offended by Male/male love

Warning two: This story discusses non-consensual sexual abuse and violence. Do not read if you are offended by this

Archiving: The only place that has permission to archive this story is Katrinkaís page. No one else may archive this without the express permission of the author!


Tsuyoshi was in his room, he was studying with Nagase.It had been ten days since the Manager had first called for him. He had been sent for every night since then.†† Tsuyoshi couldn't stop thinking of his partner. He wasn't allowed to visit or talk to Koichi on the phone.All that Tsuyoshi had to keep him sane was the letters he wrote to Koichi. He felt like the notes where a tie to what Tsuyoshi used to be. In the letters he was still the innocent Tsuyoshi.He had never told his friend the truth.


"I want to see Koichi." Tsuyoshi said. "I miss him."


"How about if the Manager doesn't call you tonight, we'll smuggle you into his room?" Nagase suggested.


"I'm not sure I should go." Tsuyoshi looked away. "I don't want Koichi to see me like this."


"What do you mean?"


"If Ko-chan sees me, he'll know I cheated on him." Tsuyoshi confessed. "That I'm no longer a virgin."


"Tsuyoshi! You didn't cheat on him!" his friend told him."What the Manager does to you is against your will!"


"It's no longer against my will." Tsuyoshi admitted. "If I do what our Manager asks, it doesn't hurt as much."


"Tell me, if you could stop it, would you?"


"Of course I would! I hate when he touches me!" Tsuyoshi said in a rush.


"Then it's not your fault." Nagase said calmly. "Koichi would understand."


Okada came into the room. He looked at his room mate."Tsuyoshi, it's time."


"Time for what?" Tsuyoshi didn't look up to him.


"He's called for us."


Tsuyoshi looked up to him. "He wants to see both of us?"


Okada nodded, his bottom lip trembled. "Hai."


Tsuyoshi stood up, and closed his book. He put the book on his desk. "I'm sorry; I can't finish my homework tonight."


"Don't tell me you're going." Nagase gasped.


Tsuyoshi looked down to the bruises on his arm. "I have to."


"What would happen if you refused?"


"The penalties are severe if we refuse the manager." Okada told him.


"What? He'll beat you more?" Nagase sounded upset. "He's going to beat you anyway!"


"I don't obey; I'll be locked in the closet." Tsuyoshi said.


'That doesn't sound too bad."


"If youíre put in the closet, youíre bound and gagged. You can't move. After a few hours, you'll do anything he wants." Tsuyoshi explained."Trust me. It's like hell."





As soon as they arrived at the Manager's bedroom, Tsuyoshi undressed.He folded his clothes, and put them in a corner. He sat down on the bed.He picked up the chain that was fastened to the side of the bed frame. There was a handcuff attached to it.Tsuyoshi snapped the cuff around his left wrist, and then locked it. Then he checked to see if it was locked.


"Is the lock fastened?" The Manager asked.


"Yes, master."


"I want you to wear the neck chain tonight."


'It will be my pleasure." Tsuyoshi lifted a door in the headboard. Then he took a chain that was fastened to the headboard. There was an iron collar attached to it. He put it around his neck, and then he picked up the lock and locked it."It's locked Master."


"You're a good pet. You've learned quickly to enjoy your visits."


"Thank you." Tsuyoshi didn't tell him what he really thought. That he hated the Manager with all of his soul. Instead, he had learned to do what ever the Manager ordered him to do.


"Hurry up Junichi!" the Manager snapped. "What's the problem?"


He watched as the youngest member of V6 very slowly took off his clothes, his back to Tsuyoshi.His bruises had faded. Okada hadn't looked at him since they had left the dorm.He had sat in the limo, crying to himself.Tsuyoshi wondered if his friend had thought that his visits where over.


"I've been waiting a long time to see the two of you together."


For the first time, Tsuyoshi realized what the manager wanted. His blood ran cold. He didn't want to have sex with his friend. He didn't say anything. He knew what would happen if he did.

"Kiss Tsuyoshi!" the manager ordered.


"No." Okada said very softy.


"What did you say?" The Manager growled.


"I won't kiss him!"


"You've given yourself to others while I watched. What's so different if it's Tsuyoshi?"


"He's my friend.I won't have sex with him." The youngster growled. "I don't want to be with him!"


"I don't care." the Manager was getting angry, very angry.He slapped Okada hard in the face. "I want to see the both of you together. So you'll be together!"


"I won't do it."


"How dare you refuse me! You're my pet!" the Manager punched Okada. The teenager fell to the floor.


"I'm not a pet! I'm a boy! I'm sick of you treating me this way!" Okada yelled.


The Manager took a cane rod off the dresser.He hit Okada in the back with it.Tsuyoshi watched in horror as his friend was hit over and over with the rod.The young man curled up in a ball, screams of pain emitted from his lips every time he was hit.


'The Manager stopped for a moment. "Will you do as you're told?"


"I'll do anything you want me to, as long as it doesn't involve Tsuyoshi." Okada vowed.


The Manager grabbed Okada. He pulled him to the closet. The Manager tied his wrists, and then tied his feet together.He used duct tape to fasten Okada's mouth and eyes.The door to the closet was opened, and Okada was pushed in. The door was then slammed shut and locked.


The manager turned to Tsuyoshi. "Now my dear, lets have some fun."


"I've been looking forwards to it." Tsuyoshi plastered on a fake smile.



It had been twenty-four hours since the manager had thrown Okada in the closet.Every few hours, the door had been opened, and the teenager had been beaten. When the manager had gone to the office, a servant had done the job.Before the third beating, the servant had taken the tape off of Okada's mouth and had forgotten to put it back on.


After the servant left, Tsuyoshi had gotten off the bed.The chains that held him were so long that he could walk to the closet.He sat down on the floor beside it.


"Junichi, can you hear me?" Tsuyoshi asked.


"Yeah," the young man said through the door.


"Why are you refusing to do what he asks?"


"You're my friend."


"If I wasn't your friend, would you do as he wanted?"


"I know what youíre going to say. I can't pretend we're not friends.I betrayed you once. I won't again." Okada promised."He can keep me here my whole life, and it won't change the way I feel."


Tsuyoshi was surprised by Okada's loyalty. "What happens when he gets back?"


"He'll beat me again."


"Why are you resisting him?" Tsuyoshi asked. "We both know it hurts more if you do."


"I'm tired of him hurting me." Okada confessed. "I want to have a normal life."


"Our lives aren't normal. They'll never be normal." Tsuyoshi paused."We're little more then animals."


"Don't you remember before all this began?" Okada asked."You werenít afraid of being hurt. You didn't sleep in the closet."


"That was before." Tsuyoshi said softly. "We can't go back. I'll never be a virgin again. I'll never have Koichi back. I've done too much to him to ever be forgiven."


"Koichiís the one man who would understand what you're going through." Okada told him."He'll stay at your side."


"You need to do what our Manager wants." Tsuyoshi told him.


"I can't have sex with you, and then see you everyday. Reminding me what I did." Okada paused. "I can't hurt you."


"You're my friend.I can't see you get hurt either."Tsuyoshi paused. "Please Junichi. I can't see you beaten again. It would be my fault. I can't handle it."


"You'll remember. You won't be able to forget."


"Why don't we agree that what happens here is only a dream? We won't hold it against each other." the older teen suggested.


"Can you do that? Really? Shingo wont' find out and beat me to a pulp?"


"No one will know. I won't tell Koichi, I won't tell Sakamoto." Tsuyoshi vowed. "I promise I won't tell Shingo!"


"It will be a dream." The teenager repeated.


"Why don't we close our eyes during it, and pretend we're the ones we love."He suggested. "I think that would be the only way I would be able to perform."


"Yeah, me too." Okada admitted.


Just then the Manager came into the room. "What are you doing out of bed?"


"I was talking to Okada."


The Manager grabbed the neck chain and yanked it hard. Tsuyoshi couldnít' help it, he cried out in pain. "I told you to leave Junichi alone. Now get back on the bed!"


"Yes Master." Tsuyoshi did as he was told.


The Manager turned on the video camera. He then opened the closet door. "Will you do as I ask?"


"Yes Master. I will." Okada's hands and feet where untied. Lastly, the tape was pulled off of his eyes.


"Now prove it! Kiss Tsuyoshi!" The Manager ordered.


Okada went to the bed. He bent down, kissing his friend. Tsuyoshi ignored the video camera, and the manager. He closed his eyes and pretended that Okada was Koichi.




Koichi knew that something had happened. In the two weeks that went by many of his dorm mates had visited him, but Tsuyoshi was noticeable in his absence.If they hadn't exchanged letters almost every day, it would have been unbearable. He looked down the cast on his arm. All of his visitors had signed it.He had left a space for Tsuyoshi.


Leader was the one that took Koichi back to the dorms. He could see Tsuyoshi watching from his bedroom window.His friend looked lost and lonely. Even so far away, Koichi couldn't help but notice the bruises on his friend's face.


"What happened?" Koichi asked as he got out of the car. "Tsu-chan has a black eye."


"I suppose he does." Leader sounded distracted.


"Did he get into a fight?"


"We need to talk." Leader gestured to a bench that was at the side of the driveway. They sat down. "I want to ask you to give Tsuyoshi a lot of room. Be extra careful around him."


"That doesn't make any sense. Why do I have to be careful around him?" he asked confused.


"In the time you've been gone a lot of things have happened."Leader tried to explain. "He's changed. He isn't the Tsuyoshi you knew.""


"The letters. I knew there was something going on when I read them." Koichi tried to gather his thoughts. "Does he have a new boyfriend?"


"His heart belongs to you." the leader said. "But his heart has been hurt. Right now he's in a lot of pain."


"Is it because we had a fight? What I said to him, I didn't mean!"


"He knows that." Leader took a deep breath and let it out."Tsuyoshi is our Managers new favorite."


"No, oh my god, no." Koichi closed his eyes for a moment.His worst nightmare had come true. His best friend was now the Manager's favorite.†† "Why? Why would he take Tsuyoshi?"


"I think at first he wanted to punish Tsuyoshi for breaking the rules. But after that, he was called for every night."


"How did the manager know we broke the rules?"


"Okada was called for at the Hospital. The next day, someone came to get Tsuyoshi." Leader explained."He came back the next morning. He had been raped."


"So Okada betrayed us." Koichi tried to control his temper.


"You should know that Okada's your new room mate."


"Great, just great. I have to live with the boy who caused Tsu-chan pain. I bet it was the Manager's idea, wasn't it?" Koichi said frustrated.


"Who else would it be?" Leader tried to gather his thoughts. "Tsuyoshi blames himself for all of this. He thinks he's cheating on you."


"I need to see Tsuyoshi." He said in a rush. "I need to tell him that I understand what he's going through.""


"You can't be with Tsuyoshi anymore." Leader warned. "I'm serious. If anyone asks, you've broken up."


"We've broken up." he repeated.


"If you want to stay with Tsuyoshi, you have to break up with him."


"That makes no sense."He gasped. "None of this makes any sense."


Leader gave a sad smile. "Does anything here?"






Koichi walked slowly to his room. He wasn't sure if Tsuyoshi wanted to see him again. He stopped in front of the room.Koichi knew that his friend was inside the room, but he didn't want to frighten him. So he tapped lightly on the door.


"Come in." Tsuyoshi said without looking up.


The door opened. Koichi came in, shutting the door. "I'm back."


"Welcome back." Tsuyoshi picked up a stack of his clothes. He was putting his things in a box. For the first time Koichi noticed the bruises on Tsuyoshi's wrists and arms, some new, some fading.There where bruises on his neck from the metal collar.


"What are you doing?" Koichi tried to sound light hearted.


"I was supposed have moved before you got back." Tsuyoshi tried to smile. "I've been too busy to completely move out."


"Are there new rules about us?"


"Many new rules." He smoothed back his hair. It was dirty, as was the clothes he was wearing.Even that had changed in his friend.Gone was the well groomed friend. What stood before him was a shell of Tsuyoshi.


"Do you agree with them?"


"Of course I don't agree with the new rules." Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I didn't get a choice. The only way I can keep you is if I agree with them"


"I understand." He said softly. "Did our Manager do that to your face?"


Tsuyoshi flinched. Then he put the clothes he was holding in the box. "I had to be punished."


"Did he hurt you?"


With trembling fingers, Tsuyoshi touched his face. "Punishment always involves pain."


"I mean did he rape you?"


"The Manager owns me. He has a right to do what ever he wants to with my body." A tear trickled down Tsuyoshi's cheek. "I wanted you to be my first."


"What our Manager did to you didn't count. You're still a virgin." Koichi went Tsuyoshi.


Tsuyoshi backed away from him. "Don't touch me!"


Koichi stepped back several paces. He raised his good hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."


Tsuyoshi went back to packing. Koichi realized that all this had happened because he hadn't trusted his friend. Now he had been abused. Tsuyoshi's spirit had been destroyed.He seemed to be almost a different person. Tsuyoshi was now timid, shy afraid of everything.Not caring of his looks or things around him.


"I'll never touch you without your permission." Koichi vowed.


Tsuyoshi looked at him. "Are you sure?"


"It's hard to exist when all touches hurt."


"You understand."


"I know everything you're going through, because I've gone through it too." he told him."My hell is yours."


"That's what the past two weeks have been. I'm suddenly living in hell." Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I donít want to live there anymore. I want my pain to go away. I want to be able to have you touch me without being afraid."


"I'll stay your partner even if I'm never allowed to touch you." Koichi vowed.


"Are you sure?" Tsuyoshi put the box on the floor and sat down.


Koichi tried to smile.He sat near to Tsuyoshi, not touching him. "Of course I am.We're partners."


For the first time, Tsuyoshi looked into his eyes. "Are you sure you still want to be with me?"


"Not still, forever." he paused. "You're my best friend."


The door opened. Okada came in."Tsuyoshi you forgot the new rule?"


"What rule?" Koichi asked suspiciously.


"The two of you aren't allowed in the same room alone, unless the door is open." The teenager told him.


"You going to tell on us again?" he demanded.


For the first time, he realized that there where bruises on Okada. "I'm sorry I told on you. I didn't get a choice."


"There is always a choice! Look at Tsuyoshi! He's been hurt! It's your fault!" The anger he felt at Tsuyoshi's treatment came out in full force. He began to go towards Okada.


Tsuyoshi reached out and grabbed his partner's arm. "You don't understand."


"He destroyed our lives!" He tried to pull away from Tsuyoshi. He was surprised that his friend would defend Okada.Before all of this, Tsuyoshi would have been even angrier then he was.


"You haven't heard the whole story." he insisted. "Please listen to me."


"Our Manager hurt you because of him. What else is there to know?"


"There's a lot more. Junichi-I mean Okada supported me through off of this." Tsuyoshi told him. "He's a friend. I trust him."


"He's the one who told on you." Koichi tried to reason. "If he hadn't, none of this would have happened! Okada destroyed your life!"


"Koichi, I've forgiven him. I think you should too."


"It's okay, I deserve what Koichi says. I did destroy your lives!" Okada took off his shirt; he tossed it in the hamper. Then he went to the closet.The younger man's back was crossed with strap marks. He took out a t-shirt and pulled it on."I'll go back downstairs to study. I won't' tell on you."


"What happened to you?" Koichi asked. "Why do you have bruises?"


"Do you think that you where the only favorite that he beat?" Tsuyoshi said."I've seen his being tortured. I don't blame him for what he did."


"Our manager can't quite forgive me for not being you." Okada stopped at the door. "Besides, I'm getting older. I'm being punished for that."


"You're only fifteen!"


"I don't like telling on you. Sometimes though, it's the only way to end the pain." He admitted. "I know you won't forgive me. I don't deserve it."††


"You're like me." Koichi realized. The anger he felt faded."I didn't realize."


"How can I be like you?"


"When I was your age, I was beaten into telling on two of the members of Smap." Koichi confessed. "They used to be good friends, now they won't even work with me. I was beaten because I wasn't enough like Goro. Now youíre beaten because youíre not like me." Koichi paused. "Goro told me that our Manager beat him for not being like Sakamoto."



"No one trusts me. Even some members of my own group can't stand me." the younger boy said. "I wish I could go home. But my mother won't let me. It's my fault that Tsuyoshi became his favorite. I can't forgive myself for putting him through it."


"I forgive you." Koichi said.


"How can you forgive me?"


ďI know what you are going through." Koichi told the younger teen.


"I'm your friend too." Tsuyoshi told him. "Now go study. You have a big test coming up."


"Thanks. I'll stay downstairs for two hours. I won't be able to tell on what I don't see, now can I?" With that, Okada left.




Tsuyoshi sat on his bed with Koichi. He couldnít' help but stare at his friend. His friend had a cast on his left arm that went up past his elbow.He no longer had the bandage on his face, but his nose was still a bit swollen.


"Do I look strange?" Koichi finally asked.


"I think your nose looks better now then before it was broken." Tsuyoshi told him.


Koichi couldn't help but smile. He reached up, touching it. "It used to have a little bump from when I broke it as a kid."


"Can I touch it?" Tsuyoshi asked. Koichi nodded.He reached out, touching his best friend's nose.Then his hand went to Koichi's cheek.He had an overwhelming urge to kiss Koichi. He kissed him very gently.


Koichi pulled away from him. "Donít' rush things Tsu-chan. You have to give yourself time."


"You're right." Tsuyoshi agreed. "What about you're broken rib? Does it bother you?"


"Not as much as my arm. I can't scratch it." Koichi paused. "Would you sign it for me?"


Tsuyoshi couldn't help but smile. "Be glad to."


"Do you have a marker?"


Tsuyoshi got up and went the desk; he got out a permanent marker. Koichi pointed at the blank spot. He wrote "Partners forever." and signed his name. Then he sat back down.


"Why donít' we work on homework tonight?" Koichi suggested."I've got a lot of homework to catch up with."


"I can't, I have other plans." Just thinking of what the Manager had planned for Tsuyoshi made the teenagerís chest feel tight. He found it hard to breathe.*How can I tell you about being Manager's favorite?*


"That's okay, perhaps tomorrow night."


"I promised I would break up with you." suddenly Tsuyoshi felt as if he was choking. He gasped for breath.


"We've broken up. If anyone asks me, I'll tell them I'm not interested in you."


"I see," Tsuyoshi felt like a fool. He should have realized that his friend would never forgive him for what happened.He tried to get up without touching Koichi; instead he felt his legs give out on him. His chest began to hurt, and he felt dizzy.


*Not now!* Tsuyoshi told himself. His body didn't listen to him. His breathing became labored. *Don't panic, donít panic!*


"Tsu-chan, are you okay?" Koichi asked concerned.


"I'm fine."Tsuyoshi went to the window; he moved the curtain so he could look out. The tears he had kept in began to fall.How he had wanted to be with Koichi, and the knowledge that it would never happen. Again his legs gave out, he sank to the floor.


He could hear Koichi getting off the bed. "Tsu-chan."


"I don't want to break up with you. I want you to be at my side." He grasped at his chest as he tried to catch his breath.


"You're having a panic attack." Koichi realized.


All Tsuyoshi could do was nod. Koichi went to the drawer that Tsuyoshi had kept his paper bags in. Koichi took one out and prepared it for him. Then his friend knelt down beside him.


"Breathe into this." He pressed the bag into Tsuyoshi's hand.


"Why are you being so nice to me? We've broken up." he put the bag over his mouth. He began to breathe into it.


"Please let me touch you," Koichi said. "I just want to hold you. I won't hurt you."


Tsuyoshi nodded. Koichi put his right arm around Tsuyoshi's shoulders. "I'm sorry. What I said didn't come out right." Koichi began to stroke his hair."I have to say that we've broken up. But we'll know the truth. We're together, and we love each other."


As soon as Tsuyoshi's breathing stabilized, he removed the bag from his mouth. He leaned into his friend.

"I feel safer now you're back." Tsuyoshi's breathing became labored again. He put the bag back against his mouth, and breathed into it.


"Don't rush it Tsu-chan." Koichi whispered to him. "I'll always protect you."


A few minutes passed, and Tsuyoshi realized his breathing was back to normal. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to panic like that."


"Why are you still afraid?"


"The Manager's going to call for me tonight." Tsuyoshi couldn't keep the despair out of his voice. "I'll probably be gone all night. I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."


"How many times has it happened?"


Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I've been called for a total of fourteen times. I don't know why our Manager calls for me. He says I'm too old. Then he beats me for being too old."


"He's hurting you to punish me." Koichi told him.


"I want to die when he touches Me." he admitted.


"I can make it so he'll never hurt you again." Koichi kissed Tsuyoshi's forehead. "Would you like me to do that?"


"I'm little more then an animal. He'll never stop using me."


"You're not an animal. You're a man!" Koichi said firmly. "You're the man I love."


Tsuyoshi was comforted by his friend's touch.Their lips met. The kiss was soft, gentle, comforting.Tsuyoshi touched the back of Koichi's head.After a few minutes, Tsuyoshi pulled away from him. "When you touch me, I don't feel like a whore."


"You're not a whore." Koichi insisted. "It doesn't count unless itís your choice."


"I think I love you more now. You understand what I've gone through." Tsuyoshi gave him another kiss, this one as gentle as the first.


Finally Koichi pulled away from him. He looked into Tsuyoshi's eyes. "No matter what happens in the future, remember that I love you. I'll always protect you."



Two days had passed since Koichi's return.In that time, Tsuyoshi hadn't been called for.Tsuyoshi sat on his bed in his new room doing his homework. He had been very busy trying to make up all the homework he hadn't completed as favorite. He hated his new room. He had to share it with Myake Ken. The nicest thing that the younger teen called him was a whore.


There was a knock at the door. Thankful he had a break from his homework; he got up and answered it.It was Leader. "Tsuyoshi, you need to get down to Koichi's room right now."


"What's wrong?" "


"If you don't get downstairs right now, it might be too late!" Leader insisted."Koichi's leaving the dorms forever. You have to talk to him!"


"On my way." Tsuyoshi ran to Koichi's room. , his partner had a box on his bed. Koichi was going through a drawer, piling things on the dresser. Tsuyoshi fought down a bit of panic.Leader had been right, Koichi was leaving.


Tsuyoshi stopped in the doorway. "What are you doing?"


"What does it look like? I'm packing." Koichi put clothes in the box."Before you ask, I'm not quitting the group. I just have a new place to stay."


"Where are you going?"


"What does it matter?" Koichi countered."It's none of your business where I live."


The comment hurt Tsuyoshi."I'm your partner. I need to know why you are leaving."


Koichi stopped for a moment. A look of pain crossed his face."I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand."


"We have rehearsals and school. Will you be there?"


"I'll be there for anything the Kinki Kids do." Koichi began to pack again. "I am getting a private tutor for school."


Tsuyoshi couldn't believe his ears. "You're going to have a private tutor? You're quitting school?"


"Stay out of my life!" With his good hand, Koichi ran his hand through his hair. For the first time, Tsuyoshi could see a bruise on Koichi's wrist. A bruise that was identical to one Tsuyoshi had on his own wrist.


"You were with the Manager last night." Tsuyoshi gasped.


"I've seen the light, its better if I'm with him then you."


"How can you say that?" Tsuyoshi asked. "I love you."


Koichi flinched. "Don't ever say that again. It's over between us. Donít' try to talk me out of it. I've made my choice."


Tsuyoshi fought back the tears.Koichi had broken up with him. Tsuyoshi took off his ring. "You'll want this back."


"Keep it; I have no use for it." Koichi said coldly.


Okada came running into the room. "It's true; I can't believe it's true."


"What's true?" Tsuyoshi demanded. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"


"There was a honk outside. Koichi threw the last pile of clothes in his box. "That's my ride. I'll send for my other stuff."


"Koichi, what's going on? Tsuyoshi demanded. "Why did you break up with me?"


"Good bye."Koichi picked up the box with his good arm, and left.


Tsuyoshi went to the window, Koichi at his side. In the driveway was as limo.When Koichi arrived, the driver jumped out and took the box from him. It was the Manager's driver. Tsuyoshi watched in horror as the driver put the package in the car's trunk.Then he opened the door for Koichi. For a brief moment Koichi looked up to Tsuyoshi. There was sadness written across his face. Their eyes met, and it seemed as if they where standing in time. The drive said something, and Koichi got into the car.


Tsuyoshi watched his friend drive off. He then said. "I don't understand."


Okada picked a letter off Koichi's bed. "He left a letter, it's addressed to you."


Tsuyoshi took the letter. With trembling fingers he opened it.



"My beloved,

When I came home, and saw how hurt you were, my heart broke. The man I loved had changed into something that I barely recognized. There is a pain in your heart, a pain that has destroyed your spirit. Your pain is my fault. A year ago, our Manager asked me to move into his mansion. I refused.He took the chance of my being in the hospital to punish me through you.


I went to the Manager the night of your return. I've made a deal with him. If I move into the mansion, he will leave you and Okada alone. I am not a virgin. I've been with many men. I'm used to the abuse that he gave me. So I am giving myself to him. It is the price I must pay to you. The Manager will no longer call for you. You'll never have to fear being abused. You are free. No one will ever touch you again against your will.


I must break up with you to save you. We will never be together again.There will still be a KinKi Kids, but now we will only be partners. No longer friends, no longer in love with each other.††


I know you will hate me for this. I hate myself for doing this. But I'll be able to see you free. You'll go back to being the man I fell in love with. Your soul will recover, and I'll see your smile again.


In time, you'll forget me. You'll find someone else to love. The man you love won't bring you the pain that I have. I will go back to hell so that my prince will be free.


I will wear your ring. It will remind me of my first love, my only love. The love I've given everything up for.

I do love you.I'll never stop loving you.





"Do you know what this says?" Tsuyoshi asked.


"Koichi told me his plans this morning." Okada sat down on his bed."I didn't believe him until the limo arrived."


Nagase came into the room. "What's going on?"


"Koichi moved out." Tsuyoshi sat down on his lover's bed."He left a letter."


Let me see."


Tsuyoshi handed him the letter.Nagase sat down beside him and read it."I was wrong. He does love you."


Tsuyoshi felt confused."If Koichi loved me, why would he do this?"


"If Koichi didnít love you, he would allow you to go on hurting." Nagase explained. "But seeing your pain wounded his soul. He's giving his happiness up to save you."



"Koichi's keeping your ring.That means he still loves you." Okada told him.


"We'll no longer be together." Tsuyoshi said sadly.


"Would you rather be with Koichi, and be hurt by the Manager every night?" Nagase countered.†† "Koichi gave you a gift. No one will ever touch you again without your permission."


His friendís words sunk into Tsuyoshi. He would never be hurt again. Koichi had kept his promise.


"Koichi's wrong. I don't hate him. What he did made me love him more." Tsuyoshi took the Koichi's ring off his right index finger, and placed it on his left. "I'll wear it this way. Perhaps without saying anything he'll realize that I'll wait for him."


"Koichi and I are working on a drama together." Junichi said. "I could deliver a note to him."


Tsuyoshi nodded. "Can I borrow some paper?"


Okada took a notebook and a pen out of his desk. "I'll be sure he gets it."


Tsuyoshi sat down at the desk and began to write. He couldn't help but notice his friends grabbed mangas and sat down on one of the beds.




When you say that we've broken up, you're wrong.†† Officially we are broken up, but our hearts know better.You will live in my heart. When you are feeling down, look at my ring. It's a sign that there is someone waiting for you.†† I have faith that someday you'll be allowed to come back to me.The man I love has given up everything for me. You're giving yourself up makes me love you more. You are still my partner.†† I know it will be difficult for us, but I would rather have the challenge instead of being alone.


We are supposed to rehearse together this coming week. I know we won't be able to talk, but if you feel the same way I do, please put my ring on your left hand.If I see it on your right, I will understand your choice and I'll never write to you again.


You might not be with me, but we'll always be together.


I'll wait for you.




Tsuyoshi tore the paper out of the notebook. Then he folded it up. He put "To Koichi' on the outside. He got up, and handed the paper to Okada. "Please give this to Koichi."


Okada nodded. "I will."


"Thank you." With that, Tsuyoshi left the room. He looked down to Koichi's ring."We'll be together again."