Title: The Diary of a Rabbit 1/?

Part of the Junno One Half Universe

Author: Kyoko_godaikun aka sentaikat
Genre': humor, A/U
Rating: PG
Pairings: TaNaka

Summary: After beating up his best friend, Koki finds a diary from his other half.

Note: most of this is a diary of a teenaged girl. I don't tell who exactly she is in this, but I give hints. She is from a well known anime. All will be revealed later in the story.

 

The day was like a nightmare. Koki had woken up in a warm bath. When he went into the bedroom, he found Maru lying nude in his bed. There was female clothing lying around on the floor. It didnít take a rocket scientist to know that Maru had been with someone. Koki knew in a heartbeat it had to be his other self.

Koki's other self was young, too young to give any real consent. What Maru had done was abuse. Enraged, Koki beat up Maru, throwing him out of the apartment. Then he told Maru his last words. "I hate you." Maru only nodded, and left Koki's apartment. No longer his friend. No longer the one that Koki loved more then anything. Maru was an enemy, like all other enemies of Koki he would never be forgiven.

Koki decided to clean his bedroom. He had a box on the bed, he tossed in anything that he found the he knew came from Maru. He hated Maru, really hated him. He thought he could trust Maru. But no, Maru was like all the rest. The ones that had abused Koki when he was a child. Maru had hurt Koki when he was vulnerable. He never thought of Maru as being a rapist, but the evidence was overwhelming.

There was blood on Koki's sheets, from his other half. She had been a virgin before Maru had her. Koki pulled the sheets off the bed. They would have to be washed. Koki didn't know his other half, but he knew he had to protect her from the likes of Maru. There were used condoms in the trash can. That was one thing he didn't have to worry about, babies. He would cut his wrists before he carried Maruís child.

Koki found the diary under the bed. It was simply a notebook. Something made him read it. He sat on the bed and opened the notebook. In a teenager's hand were diary entries.

*******************

May 1st

This is the diary of Usagi. I am a seventeen year old high school student. I have found myself in a strange world. Almost entirely surrounded by men. Really good looking men, but still no girls around. I have no one to talk to, so I will put my thoughts down in a diary.

I came to existence during a trip to China. My first memories are of being cold. Then someone was helping me out of the water. My hero had the most beautiful eyes, and a wonderful smile. I think he is the most handsome man I had ever seen.

"Here Koki, let me dry you off." The man said. He wrapped a large towel around my shivering body.

"My names' not Koki." I told him.

"Then what is your name?" With gentle hands he dried my wet body.

"I'm Usagi." I told him.

"Do you know Koki?" He asked me.

"Yes, he lives in my mind." I tried to explain.

"I'm Nakamaru Yuichi; I'm a friend of Koki's." The man said as if he believed me.

Thatís how our friendship started.

I can remember the guide crying that I had fallen into the cursed spring of the Almost Drowned Moon. That title made no sense to me. I am not a moon, I am Usagi. My name means rabbit. But I am not a rabbit, I am a girl.

************************

June 13th

It's hard to date my diary, since my days are never concurrent. Instead they happen in sprits. When Koki gets himself doused with cold water. So I decided to date this diary by days that I am me, instead of him. So sorry that I don't write everyday. I really can't.

I am different from Koki. My hair is long; I wear it in two pig tails at the top of my head. Maru calls me dumpling head. It should make me mad, but it doesn't. His nick names for me always make me laugh.

I like wearing dresses, skirts. I love being in fashion. I am different from Koki. Even though we share the same body, I am not him. My clothes and everything about me is hidden away, in suitcases in the closet. Koki is ashamed of me, so it's better that he not be reminded of me.

One thing that is different is that I hate rap music, while Koki lives to rap. I have to hide my music cd's. I like things like Arashi, Tackey and Tsubasa and V6. Every time Koki sees my cd's he throws them away. So I made a special hiding place for them. The only person who knows where my things are is Maru. But he's promised not to tell Koki.

Maru is so shy, my new friend. I wonder how an idol could be as shy as he is. He blushes a lot when he's around me. His cheeks turning red.

For some reason, I love Maru. I've always loved him. I don't know why. He is my world. I can feel that the other half of me loves him too. But that other half has been hurt so badly that he'll never be able to trust anyone to love. Not even Maru.

I asked Maru to go on a little date with me, nothing serious. We're friends aren't we? At first Maru didn't want to. But I was able to talk him into it. Perhaps a walk, and then something to eat.

"Why don't we take a walk in the park?" Maru suggested. He smiled at me, I feel myself smiling back. I really can't help it.

We walk together. He's so close to me. I slip my hand in his. Such a little thing. It feels good to have Maru hold my hand.

It's fun being in a park with him. He doesn't talk much around me. He's so quiet. But when he does start talking, he doesn't stop. He makes me happy just being with him.

Then I see it. Two of his band mates. They are both pushing strollers. They stop, sitting down on a bench together. They hold hands, as if they are still madly in love. The taller one kisses the smaller one. The taller one's name is Junno. The other one Ueda. Koki considers them friends, but he has blocked himself from them too.

Koki has blocked so much from himself; I worry if it's healthy. It can't be can it? I know that Koki's been badly hurt, but I try and not think of it. It's easier that way. I don't want Koki's pain to be my pain.

"Come on, I have to see the babies!" I tell Maru excited. I pull him to the buggies.

"Who is this?" Ueda asks. He doesn't know about my other side.

"Usagi, this is Junno and Ueda." Maru introduces. "They are in Kat-tun with Koki."

"Usagi?" Ueda looked at him skeptically.

"It's the bunny hair right?" Junno teased.

I touched my two pig tails. I don't know why I wear my hair this way. I guess it's because I like it. There are so many things I do, but I don't know why.

"Can I look at your babies please?" I ask.

"Sure," Junno says.

I look into Junno's buggy. "Their two sets of twins aren't they?"

"Did you tell her that?" Ueda didn't look pleased.

'No, I came to visit you in the hospital after you gave birth." I tried to explain.

'Who is this really?" Junno demanded. "I don't think you would suddenly go out with girls."

"Usagi is Koki's alter-ego." Maru explained.

"Why is he so embarrassed about being a girl?" Junno asked.

"Koki makes a cute girl." Ueda agreed.

"I am not Koki, I'm Usagi." I pointed out.

"You have a different name?" Ueda asked puzzled.

"Koki doesn't remember when he's Usagi." Maru tried to explain. "Itís like he's totally possessed by someone else."

I got distracted from their talking by the babies. They were all so cute. I asked if I could pick one up, and Junno said sure. I picked one up out of the buggy. It's a little girl, dressed all in pink. Her hair was wispy dark. Her eyes were like pools of dark chocolate.

"What's her name?" I ask.

"This is Eri." Junno tells me.

I like babies, but then Koki likes kids too. It's so strange for me to be a part of Koki, but still my own person. I just wish Koki would remember me. Instead of hating me, and repressing all his memories of me. We might even be friends. Who knows?

When we are finished with the babies, we walk on. Maru suggests we go Karaoke on our next date. I agree with him. I love karaoke.

*******************

June 30:

The day finally arrives when Koki has an accident with cold water. I call Maru. I can even see his smile when we talk on the ketai. He asks me if I still want to go out. Are you kidding? Of course I do! He will be right there he tells me.

I look down to what Koki was wearing. It doesn't really suit me. The track suit is all right, but the see through t-shirt isn't. I go to my suitcase and pick out something I hope Maru will like.

I know that I love Maru because Koki loves Maru. Koki is a part of me, as I am a part of him. I just wish that Koki would give in and admit that he loves Maru. But he doesn't. Instead he just gets jealous every time Maru dates. Koki knows that Maru has a girl friend, but doesn't know it's me. Would it really make any difference to him if he found out about Maru and my dating?

Maru dressed up for me. He was wearing new clothes, jeans and a new t-shirt. He smells of cologne. I love the way he smells. It's always been my favorite cologne. It never worked on Koki, but with Maru it's wonderful.

"You look nice tonight," I tell him.

'I've looked better," He says humbly.

He drives us to the karaoke hall in his car. He isn't listening to the rap he so loves, instead to the music I like.

Maru is able to get private room. That's one good thing about dating someone with money; he can afford a private room. I have memories of Koki being so broke he had to use the public room. It always embarrassed him.

I pick up a catalog and begin to look for a song. Maru sits beside me. He too is looking for songs. He picks one and programs it in.

I know the words to the song, though I never remember hearing it. It's a Kinki Kids song. "Jet coaster Romance." Maru beat boxes along with my singing.

He looks at me and smiles. I feel my heart flip. It's that doki doki feeling. Koki's gotten it around Maru too. I wish Koki could remember my dates with Maru. Maru is only going out with me because I'm a part of Koki. He doesn't really love me. I keep telling myself that.

We spend several hours drinking and singing. It's the most fun I've had in a long time.

Later on in the evening, Maru drives me home. He then walks me to my apartment steps. I asked him to come in, but he told me it wouldn't be right. I am too young. My first time should be with someone I love. I can remember Koki's first time. An uncle who lived with him had abused him. He was so very young. That is what started most of Koki's anger. Him being abused and no one believing him. So it happened again and again until he joined the Johnny's.

I tell Maru I understand. . That I do love him.

Under the full moon, Maru gives me my first ever kiss. His lips are so soft, but his arms so strong. He opens his mouth for a second. I increase the kiss. His grip on me grows stronger. I can tell he loves me in the kiss. Finally he pulls away from me. His eyes, they look so different then usual. It's like he's confused. Then he tells me good bye. I go inside my building.

I watch Maru leave from the window. He made sure I was safely inside before he left. He loves me, I can tell. I look up to the full moon. I make a wish on it. That someday I can be with Maru full time, not only that, that Koki will be able to let his walls fall enough to love Maru.

 

********************************

August 1st,

I decided to walk to Maru's apartment. It was only a few blocks away. Koki always takes walks in the middle of the night, so I knew this part of the city was safe. Perhaps for a man it's safe, but not for a girl.

A gang of teenagers surrounded me, pushing me into an alley. I tried to fight and get away, but they were too strong.

I was so scared. Really scared. They began pulling my skirt up. One shoved his hand beneath it. One touched me in a place a man's never touched. His hands cold and groping. Another had my shirt up. Tears are rolling down my face. I don't want this; I wanted my first time to be with Maru.

'Bet she's a virgin," One said as he pinched my nipple hard.

"She won't be when we're done with her!" Another said.

"She looks hot, let's cool her down." One threw an ice filled drink on me.

I found myself changing. I am now dressed in a sailor suit with a blue skirt. I am able to fight back against the gang. But still there is too many of them. I am knocked to the ground. They again surround me. One is unbuttoning his jeans.

Then someone appears. Dressed in a tuxedo and a white mask. He fights off the rest of the gang. He is strong and brave, my hero. I can't believe anyone would rescue me, but here he was.

When he is able to scare off the group, he grabs my hand and orders. "Come on."

We run as fast as we can. We stop in front of my apartment. How did he know I live here? I want to ask him, but I have so many questions for him.

"Who are you?" I ask him.

"You can call me Tuxedo Kamen." He kisses me gently on the lips, and then in a flash he is gone.

I go to my apartment and lock myself in. I am still afraid of my attackers coming back.

A few minutes later Maru is banging at my door. I answer it. He pushes his way in. "Someone called me, to say you were attacked, is you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I tell him.

I can't tell Maru of the other one who saved me. There should only be Maru in my heart. He's the one I love after all. But Tuxedo Kamen is so handsome. He's everything Maru isn't, Strong, brave. I have to put my feelings for Tuxedo Kamen aside. Koki loves Maru, and since I'm a part of Koki, I must love him too.

Maru stays with me that night, sleeping on the couch. I want to have my first time. I asked him if he will give it to me. He tells me he loves me, and that I am too young to love. I will understand more when I'm older. That's so confusing to me. Koki is a grown man. I share his body. I am old enough to love.

**************************************

August 30th,

Who is tuxedo Kamen? I ask myself. That is a great mystery. The one that I love almost as much as I love dear Maru. The one that keeps rescuing me at the last minute. Who always gives me a quick kiss, but nothing else? Then he is gone almost as if he was never there. I wonder if he's a friend of Maru's. Maru always seems to be there right after he leaves.

I dream sometimes, of my beloved Maru. He is wearing a tuxedo and a mask. He is my hero in my dreams. He always comes to save me. Instead of leaving like Tuxedo Mask, he stays and loves me.

I sometimes hear on TV about the superhero Sailor Moon. I saw her once on TV. I didn't want anyone to see Sailor Moon. She's just a small part of my self that fights crimes. I've also been in the papers and a magazine. I cut out pictures of Sailor Moon and put them in my diary. There was even one of Tuxedo Kamen. He is so handsome.

I realized that I am Sailor Moon, but my time as a hero is a dream. Just like my time as Koki. I wish Koki could remember. I don't know why he's so ashamed of me. Perhaps I'm too much like those fans that bother him.

*********************************

September 15

I've finally found out who Tuxedo Kamen is. I was tracking down some jewelry thieves. Tuxedo Kamen joined me. In the fighting, the mask was torn away from his face.

I was shocked to see who it was. It was Maru! My gentle, timid Maru is Tuxedo Kamen? I couldn't believe my eyes.

He quickly put his mask on. "You didn't see who I really am?"

"No, I was too busy." I lied.

Tuxedo Kamen looked relieved. Then as always he was gone.

I quickly went back to my normal self of Usagi. It was then I decided that Maru needs a new mask, if his can be pulled away that easily, then it must be replaced.

I find some cloth at a store. I decide to make Maru the mask. I work on it during my spare time. I hide it away from Koki. When I am finished with it, I will give it to him. I will tell him I understand about everything.

Koki wouldn't understand about Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask. He keeps withdrawing himself from everyone. He lets me come out more. No longer do I come out by accident, it's because Koki is depressed, and wants to forget. He's been hurting more lately, though I don't understand why. Letting me take over for him takes away some of the pain.

If only Koki would go to Maru. His friend would understand. I know he would. That's what Koki needs, love. He hasn't been loved much in his life. The walls are too high in his soul.

*********************

September 30h,

Koki writes me a note. I'm surprised when I find it. It's addressed to that girl that lives in my body.

"I want you to stay away from my friends. You're calling Maru too much. You don't want to harass him. He has a girlfriend and it's not you. Do you think that Maru would love anyone like us? Love is over rated. It only brings pain. Watching Maru date someone else brings a lot of pain. But he has a right to his happiness. So from now on, stay away from him.

Tanaka Koki"

A strange note. Really strange.

Maru gives me something. It's a cell phone. I can call him from it.

I tell him about my dreams of sailor moon, but it puzzles Maru.

***************************

October 15th,

Another fight against criminals. This time Tuxedo Kamen is hurt. I help him come to my apartment. It is the closest place of safety. I help him sit on my bed, and began to clean him. While I am caring for him, I turn back into Usagi.

"You shouldn't be doing this for me." Tuxedo Kamen tells me.

"You've saved me many times." I remind him. "Now it's my turn to save you."

He trembles beneath my fingers as I help him off with his shirt. I clean his wounds and bandaged them.

"Can I take off your mask?" I ask him. Maru nods and I do. The mask is covered in blood. He will need a new one.

He looks so vulnerable without the mask. I gently wash his face.

"How long have you been tuxedo mask?" I ask.

"I fell into the stream of the drowned mask when we went to china." He admitted. "Everyone thinks I fell into the stream of the bad write rapper. But I made that up to protect my secret identity."

"You save me." I tell him.

"Yes, I have to." Maru said. "When I'm Tuxedo Kamen, all I want to do is save you."

"Then it's against your will." I begin to turn from him.

"I do it because I love you." He admitted.

I turn to him and we kiss. I kiss him. Our kisses before had always been innocent. But this time I knew they couldn't be. I open my mouth and he gently loves me with his tongue. My gentle, loving Maru. His hand goes to the back of my head, and the kiss increases, until I realize I would do anything he asks.

Maru pulled away from me. "We can't."

"Why can't we?" I counter.

"You're too young."

"That doesn't matter," I tell him. "I love you; I want to make love to you."

"I love you too." He tells me.

I kiss him again, and this time Maru sighs and gives into the kiss. He pulls me down to the bed with him. Then he looks at me again. "Do you really want this?"

"Yes, I do." I promise.

He moves even closer to me. His arms go around me. We undress each other as we kiss. When he asks if I have any birth control. I get out of the bed and go to Koki's secret stash of condoms.

How is a first time supposed to be like? Mine was wonderful. Maru was such a gentle lover. He cried Koki's name when he came. I don't mind. I am part of Koki. I fell asleep in his arms after words.

I woke up in the middle of the night so excited. I had to put my thoughts down. We where meant to be. Almost destined from the start. I have never loved anyone like I have loved Maru. He's my only one and I love him. He is waking up. I want to love him. So I'm going back to bed.

I wish Koki could have this kind of happiness. That he could trust Maru. Maru loves me because I am a part of Koki. But I know that he loves Koki even more then he loves me. Koki is Maru's world. He would die before he hurt that world.

*************************

Koki put the diary down. Tears were pouring down his cheeks. Maru wasn't a rapist; he was someone who loved him very much. He had to go to Maru. To tell him he was sorry. Koki knew that he had destroyed all chances they would be together. But he hoped, just hoped that they could still be friends.

***************************

 

"What was I thinking?" Maru asked himself for the thousandth time. He looked at himself in the mirror. Both of his eyes were black, and his lip swollen. He knew he would have to wear make-up when he went to work.

Maru had started going out with Usagi because she was a part of Koki. But in the end he felt as if he had cheated on Koki.

Cheated? Why did he feel that way, it wasn't like Koki was even with him.

He could still remember the hatred in Koki's eyes when Koki told him he hated him. He had deserved it. If he had really wanted Koki, he should have waited.

Maru loved Usagi simply because she was another side of Koki. Now he hated himself.

His life had gotten really weird, not only that, he hated it.

A news report flashed on the TV in the back ground. A bank was being held up. The gang led by a Sailor Moon wearing a dark uniform.

That shook him, had Koki suddenly turned evil?

He didn't want to think of it. Instead, he poured himself a glass of cold water. Then he dumped it on his head. Tuxedo Kamen had work to do.

**********************

Maru returned to his apartment. He was worn out from fighting the Dark Shadow Sailor Moon. He was able to capture several of her gang, all Johnny's juniors. But Dark Shadow Sailor Moon had escaped his grasp. It was much harder fighting crime without Sailor Moon or Sailor Koki as Maru always thought of him.

The door bell rang. Maru opened the door. It was Koki. "Can we talk?"

"You shouldn't be here." Maru told him.

"Tell me you don't love me and I'll leave." Koki countered.

"I can't." Maru admitted. He let Koki into his apartment. 'But you can't stay."

"What about your feelings?" Koki tried to come closer to Maru, but he stepped back a pace.

"My feelings aren't important." Maru told him. "I hurt you. Youíre right, what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have used you."

"Why did you?"

"It was the only way I could be close to you." Maru turned away from him. "Please leave."

"I'm sorry for punishing you for something you didn't do to me." Koki told him.

"I raped you." Maru reminded him.

"It wasn't rape," Koki told him. "I read Usagi's diary."

The news hit Maru like a truck. Usagi had a diary? Koki read it? This was getting way too weird.

"It's still my fault." Maru told him. "I could have said no. But it was you. I couldn't turn you down."

"Do you still love me?"

"Yes," Maru gasped. "I'll always love you."

"I love you too." Koki admitted.

"You don't love me, not really." Maru said sadly.

"I do!" Koki insisted.

"If you loved me, you would trust me." Maru told him. "You would know I couldn't rape you."

"Please Maru." Koki pleads. 'Let's be together."

"No, not until you can remember Usagi." Maru decided. "When that day comes, I'll be happy to be your lover."

"Will you wait for me?" Koki asked.

"I'll wait forever for you." Maru vowed. He walked Koki to the door. Then after Koki left, he locked the door and leaned against it. If only Koki's words were true.

*************************

There was something new in the news. A new Sailor Moon, Sailor Dark Shadow Moon. She ran a gang, and robbed high end stories. Tuxedo Kamen tried to help her at first, until he realized it wasn't Usagi. It was someone else. Had Koki somehow turned into another person, this one evil?

Maru missed Usagi. It was almost like she had vanished from existence. He also missed Koki, but he too was gone. They worked together, but they were no longer friends. Instead, Koki always left alone. Maru still went out with his friends, but it wasn't the same without Koki.

Maru decided he needed a new watch. He went to a place that Ueda had recommended. He was looking at the watches, when a gang of Sailor suited girls burst into the shop. All of them were armed.

"Everyone! Stay where you are!" Dark Shadow Sailor Moon ordered.

Everyone in the store froze. A young bouncy girl went up to Maru. "Look! A Kat-tun member!"

"That doesn't matter Dark Shadow Sailor Luna!" Dark Shadow Sailor Moon told her.

"I want to play with him." She begged.

"Take him in back," Dark Shadow Sailor Moon ordered. "Do what ever you want with him."

Dark Shadow Sailor Luna aimed her gun at Maru. "Move!"

Maru went to the back with Dark Shadow Sailor Luna. He quickly looked around the room. There was a glass of water on a desk. He had to get it.

Dark Shadow Sailor Luna smiled at him, then she lifted her hand, claws came out of her fingers. She slashed at Maru, slicing him across the arm.

Maru eased back to the desk. He picked up the glass of water and dumped it over himself. He quickly turned into Tuxedo Kamen.

Dark Shadow Sailor Luna hissed, and launched herself at him. Her hand trying to scratch Maru again. He stepped to the side, and hit her hard in the back. She fell to the ground, hitting her head.

He checked her, she was unconscious. As she lay there, she turned back into her real self. Dark Shadow Sailor Luna was Kusano of NEWS!

Tuxedo Kamen turned on the burglar alarm. Then he went into the main store.

He couldn't believe his eyes. A Dark Tuxedo Kamen had the clerk pushed against one wall, his hand under her shirt. Other Dark Shadow Sailors were emptying the jewelry in the cases into bags.

One looked at Tuxedo Kamen. She was dressed in a black sailor suit edged in red. "Dark Mars Flame!"

A wall of flames swept across Tuxedo Kamen. He fell the ground injured. His Tuxedo burnt. He changed back into his real self.

"Let's get out of here!" Dark Shadow Sailor Moon ordered. "Get Luna from the back and letís go!"

Maru watched as Dark Shadow Sailor Moon and her gang left. All Maru could think about was the fact that Sailor Moon hadn't come to help him. Was this new Dark Shadow Sailor Moon Koki? Maru knew until he found out the truth, he couldn't fully trust his friend.

******************************

"Don't hurt me, please don't hurt Me." the young Koki told his abuser.

"Donít' you love me?" He demanded.

Koki wanted to say no, that he hated him, but he knew what would happen if he said no. "Yes, I love you."

"Good boy," His uncle crooned. "Now show me you love me."

The young boy pulled off his clothes, and lay on the bed in the expected position.

He was only nine years old, but he had already been abused for too long. All he could hope for was a superhero to take him away. But of course even a nine year old knows there is no such thing as superheroes.

Koki woke up from his dream. He was now an adult. He should no longer feel afraid to love. Perhaps if Maru loved him, it wouldn't hurt the way it had with his uncle.

Then he heard Usagi's voice in his mind. "Let me take your pain."

"No, no one deserves such pain."

"You wanted a superhero, I'm her." She told him. "Accept me, and I can save you."

*******************

The days passed, they turned into weeks, then months. It was hard working with Maru. His former best friend avoided him. His eyes full of pain. The bruises faded, but that didn't seem to matter. Maru was in a constant state of exhaustion.

Koki saw in the news Tuxedo Kamen battling a new gang fronted by a Dark Shadow Sailor Moon. Koki tried to change into Sailor Moon, but even with ice water, she wouldnít come out. Instead, Koki was greeted by periods of time he couldn't remember. It was even worse then when Usagi took him over.

Koki's memories of Usagi began to surface. He was still embarrassed about Usagi; she was a ditz to put it mildly. A stupid idiot. She was worse then Jin on his best days. But she was a part of him.

Koki read the diary until he memorized it. He wrote notes to Usagi; she read them and wrote back. Then one day, there was no BAKA Usagi. She melted into Koki's personality. When he was splashed with cold water, he still turned into a girl, but he was in total control. Usagi was still there, but merged with Koki, she was mature.

Koki found the mask that Usagi had made for Maru he decided that he had to give it to Maru.

"Oh it's you," Maru moved to slam the door in his face.

Koki blocked the door. "Please, there's something Usagi wanted you to have."

"You have five minutes." Maru's eyes were wary as he opened the door.

"I'm sorry for beating you up." Koki told him. "What about Usagi, could you still love her?"

"Yes, she trusts me." Maru looked on the verge of tears. "She's like you were when we first met. You were so innocent, so trusting. Not like now."

"She always thought of you as her tuxedo Kamen." Koki took something out of his pocket. It was a white mask. He handed it to Maru. "She had this made for you. She wants you to have it."

"Thank you." Maru took the mask. He held it close to him.

"She loves Tuxedo Kamen." Koki said.

"How would you know?" Maru asked.

"I've accepted her," Koki admitted. "We now are one."

Maru's eyes grew skeptical. "I've needed your help in the past few weeks. Why haven't you been there?"

"I've tried, but she wont' come out." Koki told him.

"I think she does come out." Maru told him. "She's evil. Perhaps she's always been evil. She's changed into Dark Shadow Sailor Moon."

Koki couldn't believe his ears. "You think Iím Dark Shadow Sailor Moon?"

"Who else could it be?" Maru countered. "We are now enemies. It's best if you leave."

********************

Maru was in the groupís dressing room. Koki hadn't shown up for practice. Maru was concerned. Had Koki gone on another crime spree?

Ueda was talking to someone on his ketai. Maru the only other person in the dressing room tried to block it out. Finally Ueda put up the Ketai.

"Koki says that he's leaving the group." Ueda said.

"I don't care." Maru told him.

'Johnny-sama's making him take a vacation before he makes his final choice." Ueda told him.

"I don't care." Maru repeated.

"He left you a note." Ueda gave him the note and left the dressing room.

Maru had half a mind to tear up the note without reading it. But he knew it could give him clues on Koki's gang. So he opened it and read it.

"Dear Yuichi,

If you're reading this, you've probably heard that I've left Kat-Tun. I had to. I couldn't work one more day with you. I used to love working with the group because my best friend, my partner was in it.

It really hurts that I did everything you asked of me, and still you refused to take me back. You made me a promise. If I accepted Usagi, we could be lovers. I lived in faith of that promise.

It was hard for me to accept her. Now I have all her feelings and memories but I don't have you. Still, I have the memories, of the only time I made love and it wasn't forced.

You think that I'm Dark Shadow Sailor Moon. After all the battles we fought together, it hurts that you don't trust me enough to know that I'd never turn evil.

You don't know how hard it was to tell you I loved you. I was always told by the ones that hurt me that they did it to me because they loved me. That love was really pain and suffering.

Then there came Maru, who I've loved for years. I never told you because I thought I would hurt you the way that they hurt me. That was love wasn't it? You were the one that showed me that they were wrong.

You taught me how to love, and I will always be grateful to that. I wish that you could take me back, but I am a realist. I know that will never come true. All I have is a memory, of the only one that loved me.

I brought the phone you gave me with me, there's a part of me that still hopes that you'll forgive me. That has faith in you. My other half knows the truth. You will not call. That what we had is over.

I love you that is why I must leave. I need to give you the chance to move on, to love someone else. But inside my heart will be a spot for my Yuichi, the only one I've really loved.

Koki."

*****************

Maru knew he needed to go after Koki, but how? Then it hit him, he could ask Tuxedo Kamen for help. He wrote himself a note, and then He poured cold water over himself.

Maru felt himself changing. He looked at the note. He took out his own ketai, an identical one to Koki's. It had a GPS system. He would be able to find Koki that way.