By Sentaikat aka Kyoko Godaikun
Authors email: Kyoko_godaikun@yahoo.com
Archiving: Do not archive without express permission from the author.
Note: This is just a little thing I wrote when I heard the news about Jin. I know he isn't really sick. I do hope he comes back soon! This story is very sad.
Time: October 2006
Something had been bothering Akanishi Jin. Kamenashi Kazuya knew it. Everyone in the group knew it. Still, everyone had given Jin his space. Perhaps that would let him get everything worked out. He had told everyone during the 24 hour TV that he wanted to leave the group. But KAT-TUN had thought it was because Jin was exhausted. He had dropped the subject after the 24 hour TV. So Kame believed that Jin had changed his mind.
Still, nothing worked. It seemed as if Jin had a great weight on his shoulders. Jin had suddenly become very self-centered. He would disappear during KAT-TUN's tapings. Always refusing to tell anyone where he had gone. He no longer seemed to have any emotions.
Jin had even begun to pull away from Kame. They had become lovers that spring. They spent all their off time together. Then suddenly, on a clear September night, Jin broke up with Kame. Telling him that they couldn't be together. Jin had insisted that it was better that way. That it was him, not Kame that was the problem. Kame had heard that excuse before in the past. He had no choice but let Jin go.
Then the news came. Jin would be taking a break from the group. At first the time had been given as three months, but that had soon changed to six months. Six months away from the group. Jin said used to say that the group meant everything to him. Now suddenly he wanted to quit. Kame had not heard the news from his former lover. Instead, a staff member had informed Kame of the hiatus. Kame had been told that Jin was leaving for America, without even telling his former group members goodbye.
Kame was angry at Jin's self-centeredness. Breaking up with him was one thing. Potentially destroying the group was another.
Kame went to Jin's apartment. He used his key to get in. In the living room, the furniture had been covered in plastic. Almost everything that belonged to Jin had all ready been removed.
He found Jin in his bedroom packing his few remaining items. Jin was looking at a photo, his fingers tracing it. Tears fell down his cheeks. Kame was able to get a peek at the photo. It was of the two of them that had been taken during the 24 hour TV.
"Why are you leaving us?" Kame finally asked.
"Didn't the agency tell you the reason? I'm going to study abroad." Jin put the photo up and wiped his face.
"I thought you changed your mind."
"Why are you here?" Jin demanded. "The agency told me that the rest of you would stay away."
"Did you really think I would?" Kame tried holding his anger in. "Even though you broke up with me. I thought we were still friends."
"I want to be alone." Jin didn't' look at him.
"Why couldn't you tell us in person? Why did we have to hear it from my PM?" Kame demanded. "Why leave so suddenly?"
"It wasn't sudden." he said coldly. "I knew I would have to leave since right before the 24 hour TV. I even told everyone I was leaving. So I don't know why you are surprised."
"Your reason makes no sense." Kame went to Jin. "You didn't graduate from high school! How can you just go off to study abroad?"
"I want to learn English." Jin insisted.
"What about the group?"
"What about it?" He countered. "They don't need me. They have you."
"When are you leaving?"
"You didn't bother to tell us?" He asked unbelieving.
"What does it matter? I've left KAT-TUN." He said harshly.
Kame was mad, really mad. Jin didn't seem to care about anyone else but himself. Kame picked up Jin's overnight case. He threw the open bag against the bedroom wall. It hit with a very loud crash. The contents spilled out onto the floor. Out tumbled bottle after bottle of prescription medication.
"What is all of this?" Kame demanded. "Why do you have so many pills?"
"That's none of your business!" He snapped.
Kame scooped them up, he went towards the bathroom. "I'm going to flush these down the toilet!"
Jin's uncaring facade crumbled. "Please Kazuya-Chan don't. I need my medication."
"What's wrong with you?" Kame stopped.
"I'm not supposed to tell anyone." Jin said. "If word gets out..."
"I'm not just anyone!" Kame paused, trying to calm down. He tossed the bottles on the bed. "Until recently I meant something to you."
"You still do. I never stopped loving you." Jin picked up the case and began to put the bottles back in. "But for the good of the group, I have to go."
"You're sick," Kame realized. "Why can't you get treatment for your illness in Japan?"
"Yes, I am." He admitted. "The agency decided they would get me the best treatment for my illness. That means I must go to America."
"That's why they agency changed how long you would be gone." Kame realized. "First they said three months, and then they changed it to six months."
"I was at first just going to have an operation, but now there's a good chance I might have to get chemo." The walls fell, and suddenly Jin was trembling. "How could I perform with the side effects of my treatment? Can you see me on stage with my hair falling out?"
Chemo, the work hit Kame like a hammer. Chemo was only given for one type of illness. Jin was seriously ill. Jin was trying to the best of his ability to put the best interests of Kame and the group ahead of his own.
"So that's why you broke up with me?" Kame realized.
"I couldn't put you through all of this. I want you to have a normal life. Perhaps when I'm gone to America, you'll be able to find someone else." A tear fell down Jin's cheek. "I thought if you thought I left for my own selfishness, that you would hate me enough to move on."
"What's the chance of you surviving all of this?"
"With the treatments? 50/50." Jin turned back to his packing. "If I wasn't ill, I would stay with the group. I wouldn't leave."
"What about us?"
"If I was well, we would still be together." he reached up and wiped his face off. "I would have woken every day to the smiles of my Kazuya." Then suddenly, Jin collapsed to the floor. His whole body began to shake with sobs. "I don't want to live without you. I don't want to die!"
Kame didn't even think twice. He got onto the floor with Jin. He pulled his friend into his arms. "Jin-can, you'll always have me."
Kame realized that Jin needed him more now then ever. He very gently kissed Jin's lips.
Jin pulled away from him. "We can't, I might not come back."
"You will." Kame promised. "I have faith that you'll come back to me."
"I love you," Kame kissed Jin again, and this time his friend sighed and gave into the kiss.
They were back together. It made Jin feel good that Kame would be in his life, even if they where in different countries. If the end came, Kame promised he would be there for Jin. To prove his point, he had purchased over the phone an open ended ticket to the place in America that the hospital was at. He could leave at a moments notice.
Jin's mother arrived to take him to the airport four hours after Jin had gotten back together with his lover. Kame insisted on going to the airport with Jin. It had comforted Jin in a way. They had held hands on the way to the airport. Jin's mother had told Kame that she was pleased he was back with her son.
Jin's mother was going with him to America, but she intentionally walked several meters ahead of the couple. The air line Jin was taking was quite a walk from the entrance. A very long walk. It didn't matter to Jin. This might be his last time with Kame. He always walked quickly through airports, but this time he walked painfully slow. He felt something touch his hand.
"Kazuya..." Jin began.
"You're my boy friend. I don't care if the world knows." Kame took Jin's hand firmly.
Jin decided to give in. He needed Kame's touch. He realized he shouldn't have tried to hide his illness from Kame. His friend would have been a support to him. But it didn't matter now. He had his friend at his side.
The trip to the gate still seemed to be too fast. Jin's mother went to check him in. Kame stood with him, trying to be brave.
"I have to go." Jin finally told him.
"I know." Kame said softly.
"I don't want to go." he confessed.
I know, but you'll come back." Kame promised. "I'll be here waiting when you do."
Jin couldn't believe the faith Kame had in his getting better. He looked into his friend's eyes. "You won't do something crazy and run off with Yamap will you?"
That made Kame smile sadly. "Course I won't,"
There was an announcement that the gates would be closing very soon.
"You have to go." Kame told him.
"I love you," Jin breathed.
"I love you too." Kame kissed Jin very gently. Then took him in his arms, they kissed again. Their last kiss, Jin tried to put all of his feelings for Kame in the kiss.
"It's time for us to go." Jin's mother finally said. "You'll miss our plane if you don't leave now."
It took all of Jin's will to pull away from Kame. He went to the gate, then turned and took one last look at his lover. Kame had tears running down his cheeks. Jin gave a little wave, Kame waved back.
He felt his mother's hand on his arm. Jin had no choice but turn and walk away.
Jin vowed that he would fight his illness. That one day he would be back with KAT-TUN. Now for the first time since his illness was diagnosed, he had hope. For Akanishi Jin had someone waiting for him. The one thing that meant more then anything to him. His Kazuya.