It was the day of Jin's release from the hospital. He packed his things. He had written letters to the entire group apologizing for what he did. Trying to explain the monster that lived in his mind. The addiction that controlled his life. None of his letters had been answered. He really didn't expect an answer. In the illness that had taken over his mind, he had done too much to the ones he loved. He did not expect forgiveness, he didn't deserve it.
He went to the plate of turtles that Kame had sent him. He picked up one at a time, then carefully wrapped them and put them in his bag. Finally he was finished with them, and he wrapped the blue plate that they lived on. Even if Kame wasn't waiting for him, he would keep the turtles. They would remind him of Kame, his own turtle.
"It's time for you to go Akanishi-Kun," the nurse told him.
"Yes, thank you." Jin shut his suit case. "I want to thank you for taking care of me all this time."
"It's no problem; you've been a joy to have in this hospital." The nurse told him.
As Jin walked down the corridors, he thanked all the staff that had helped him. He knew that it must not have been the easiest, but he was grateful.
Jin felt like crying, Kame hadn't come to pick him up, though Jin knew Kame knew the time. He was glad that his suit case was the type on wheels. He had so much stuff, given to him by Kame. The nurses had told him who had given him all of the things during his hospital stay. It had been Kame, who didn't want anyone to know.
Jin walked out of the hospital alone. The sun seemed so bright. Almost like it was a dawning of a new life. It was, but it was a life away from everything he loved, everything he valued.
Then he saw it, his van. The one that had been given to him by his grandfather. He hadn't driven it to the hospital. So he had no idea why it was there. Perhaps his brother had decided to pick him up. He went towards it.
Kame was leaning against the van. "I thought you would like a ride home."
"Thank you," Jin said. "I wasn't sure you would be here."
"I told you I would think about your question...” Kame smiled. "I came to the same choice I would have made a week ago."
"I'm really glad you came." Jin admitted.
Jin let Kame drive him home. That was when he realized that Kame wasn't driving him home. He was driving to Kame's apartment.
"Where are we going?" Jin asked.
"We need to have a meeting, my house is neutral." Kame told him. "Don't worry; I'll stay at your side."
Jin was troubled about the meeting. Kame tried to reassure him. But Jin shook his head. "I have a lot to answer for. I know the meeting won't be easy."
"You won't hit anyone will you?" Kame asked. Even when he was sane, Jin had a reputation for loosing his temper and hitting people.
"I promise, no matter what anyone does to me or say to me, I won't hit him." Jin vowed
A meeting. Jin realized he had to have one with the agency before he was let go. He just hadn't expected it to be in Kame's apartment.
Kame was glad to see Jin. It was the old Jin, the one that Kame had fallen in love with before Jin went to America. He was really excited to take Jin back to his apartment. The group wanted to see him. They had promised Kame that they wouldn't hurt Jin. They just wanted to talk to him before he officially returned to the group.
Jin followed Kame to his apartment. Kame had to keep reassuring him. Nothing would happen to Jin. Kame realized that Jin was still scared. When Jin saw it was the group, not the agency waiting for him, he began to back up, but was stopped by Kame.
"Don't worry," Kame told him. "They won't hurt you."
Kame watched horrified as Jin was rushed by the group. They pulled him to the other side of the room so that he couldn't get away.
Junno began to punch Jin over and over. He was soon joined by Ueda and Koki. Jin sank to the ground; Ueda pulled him back to standing position. He held him so that Koki and Junno could continue their assault.
Jin had made a promise to Kame, even though he was being attacked, he did nothing. Just let them beat on him.
"Stop it!" Kame screamed. He went to them, pulling Junno away. Kame could feel Koki hit him in the stomach. He fought back, but then Maru grabbed him from behind.
Maru and Koki had hand cuffs. They pulled Kame across the room and handcuffed Kame's wrists to the railing of the stairwell. As soon as they let go of Kame, he kicked Maru hard in the stomach. That got him another punch in the face by Koki.
Kame fought against the handcuffs, they weren't the trick kid's cuffs that most people used when they played bondage. These were real handcuffs. Then Maru tore a large strip of duck tape and taped Kame's mouth. That was when Kame realized that the group had been planning this attack for a long time.
Kame was left alone as the group beat up Jin. He looked at the hand cuffs; they were engraved with Jin's name. So the handcuffs were Jin's, but how did they get them? Then Kame realized it had to be Ueda. When Jin was high of drugs he had used to like to hand cuff Ueda to the bed. After Jin had gone to the hospital, Ueda must have gotten into Jin's apartment and took the handcuffs.
"Why aren't you fighting back?" Koki demanded as he punched Jin in the stomach.
"I made a promise," Jin groaned.
The group didn't care about Jin's promises; all they cared about was revenge. Hitting Jin over and over. It was quite obvious that they were planning on killing him.
Kame hated himself, he should have never made Jin make that promise. Jin could have fought back, he could have defended himself. Instead, he would probably die by the hands of men who used to be his friend.
Kame had never felt so helpless in his life. All could do was watch as Maru, Junno and Koki pounded on Jin. Kame tried to get out of the hand cuffs, when that didn't work; he tried to pull the hand rail off. He could feel the handcuffs dig into his flesh. His wrists really began to hurt.
But still, Kame struggled to get away. To help the man he loved. There was a sharp pain on his wrist, Kame screamed against the tape. That was when the blood began to trickle down his arm.
Finally, the group was finished with Jin. Ueda let go of Jin, who fell into a heap on the floor. Then Ueda was beating on him. Still, Jin did nothing.
"I don't know how the hell Kame can forgive you! But I'll never forgive you!" Ueda swore. "Now apologize to the group!"
Jin with a lot of effort was able to get to his knees; he bowed his head the ground. "I am sorry for everything I put the group through."
"This changes nothing between us." Koki vowed.
"I know I've done too much to be forgiven," Jin told the group. "That is why I'm leaving."
"You mean you're going to run out." Maru told him. "Run away from your responsibilities."
"You can only leave when we say you can leave!" Koki told him.
"You will really give up the group?" Ueda finally asked.
"I don't deserve to stay in the group." Jin admitted.
"We need to vote, to see if we want to keep you." Koki told him.
"Why don't you go get yourself clean?" Maru suggested.
"Do you have anything to say to us before we have our vote?" Junno asked.
"There is nothing to say," With that, Jin got to his feet. He swayed as he went to the bath room.
"We'll let you go if stay here with us," Maru told Kame as soon as the bath room door closed.
Kame nodded. Maru took keys and unfastened the handcuff, and then he helped Kame take the tape off his mouth. It took all of Kame's self control not to kill Ueda.
"You promised me that Jin wouldn't get hurt." Kame told him. He was mad, and didn't care who knew. "You lied! Look at him! You could have killed him!"
"We didn't hurt him," Koki said. "What we did was a thing called punishment."
"We just gave him what he gave us." Junno pointed out.
"But it wasn't him that hurt us!" Kame insisted. "It was crystal Jin."
"What's the difference?" Ueda said.
"Jin's changed," Kame told him. "You didn't see him every day; you don't know how much he has turned his life around."
"Why should we have visited him?" Junno demanded. "We both know what he did. I shouldn't have to visit him."
"We're not going to let him back," Koki decided.
"If you don't let him back, I'm going too." Kame said. "I know Jin; I've seen him a lot over the past year. I've seen how hard he's worked to turn his life around."
Kame looked at this wrist; he had reopened the scar on his right wrist. He took out a bandana and quickly tied it around the wound. The wound would always be a sign to Kame, reminding him of how he had failed Jin.
"Is your arm all right?" Ueda asked concerned. He tried to look at it.
"What do you care?" Kame demanded. He pulled his hand away from Ueda. "You don't care if anyone is hurt, if any needs treatment, all you care about is revenge!"
"You know what he did to us!" Ueda countered.
"You've become like him!' Kame shouted. "You're just like the monster that hurt you! He was your friend, and looks how you treated him!"
"He had to pay," Junno told him.
"Not like this! Never like this!" Kame tried as hard as he could to keep his temper. "You should have at least heard him out!”
"We need to talk," Maru decided. . "Everyone sit down."
Everyone sat down. The only one that still stood was Koki. Maru grabbed his hand and pulled him down to him.
"Why do you call him crystal Jin?" Ueda asked Kame.
"Because the Jin I brought home isn't the crazy, insane creature who broke your arm." Kame raised his hand before Junno could object. "Yes, it's Jin's body. Yes, he deserves to be put on probation. But what you did to him wasn't right."
"We had to have justice!" Ueda swore.
"I'm leaving the group," Kame told them. "I can't stand any of you. All of you have become just like crystal Jin."
The group talked for a long time. They also fought. Ueda was the one that had the hardest time deciding how he would vote. But then, after some persuasion, he was able to make up his mind. The group voted, and then Ueda told Kame to tell Jin what they decided.
Jin went to the bathroom that was right outside of the kitchen. He looked at himself in the mirror. His face a mass of cuts and bruises. His nose was bleeding. He took a wash cloth and pressed it against it his nose.
Then Jin hid in the bathtub. He curled against the wall. He hated himself. He had destroyed his life. Before he went to LA he had friends, real friends that he could count on. Now his friends hated him. It didn't to them if Jin had no memories of what happened in the past, just dreams of hurting Ueda. Now Jin realized the dreams had been true, that he was a monster.
The tears came, long heartbroken sobs. Jin couldn't stop the crying. He had worked so hard during his hospital stay to change his life, now he knew his life had been changed, this time for the worse.
Kame came into the bathroom. His wrists were bruised. Kame was the only one who had stayed at his side during the attack. But he had been handcuffed to a railing. His wrists were now bruised and bleeding because of those handcuffs.
Jin wiped his eyes, and then he looked up to his friend. "They've voted, haven't they?"
"Yes, they have." Kame told him.
"I understand," Jin said seriously. "I knew they wouldn't let me back."
"Who said they voted you out?" Kame asked.
"They hate me." Jin reminded Kame. "Why would they want to keep someone they hate in their group?"
"We've voted 5 to 0 to let you come back, under certain conditions." Kame told him.
"What are they?" He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that.
"You have to continue getting help." He began to list. "You can't miss one dose of meds, no hitting anyone, oh and the biggest one. If you even look at meth again, you're out."
Jin couldn't believe the terms were so light. "I understand."
"Do you accept the terms?" Kame asked.
"Yes, I accept them." Suddenly Jin felt very humble. "I can’t' see them right now. Perhaps we can meet again, this time without hurting each other."
"I'll go tell them." Kame left the room.
Jin got out of the bath tub and washed his face. Then he looked at himself in the mirror. His face had cuts and bruises. Then he asked the mirror the question that had been bothering him. "Why did they really let me come back?"
"Stay still!" Kame ordered. He was sitting beside Jin on the couch. He had a wash rag and a bowl of water.
"I'm fine, you don't have to do this," Jin told him, but he couldn't help but smile as Kame cared for him. It felt so good to be cared for.
"No, I don't have to." Kame smiled back.
"When are you going to get your arm taken care of?" Jin asked concerned. Kame's right arm was bandaged by a blood soaked bandana.
"Don't worry about my wrist," Finally, Kame stopped dabbing. "I'll be right back."
"I'll be waiting," Jin smiled.
Kame went into the bath room with the bowl. The sight of seeing Kame hand cuffed, with his mouth duck taped haunted Jin, and it was almost like he had seen something like that before.
Suddenly a memory flashed through Jin's mind. He didn't want the memory to come. But still, it came. They had been coming more and more often. The doctors told Jin that it meant that his brain was finally healing, but it didn't feel that way to him.
Jin pulled a very drunk Maru into a bathroom stall. Jin could hear Maru's protesting of "No, no, he'll catch us."
"No he won't," Jin said as he stripped off Maru's clothes. "Come on, don't you want me?"
"Of course I do!" Maru confessed.
"Then let's do it baby." Jin told him.
Jin made love to Maru, just to make Koki mad. He couldn't help but smile with victory when the door to the stall opened, and Koki caught them together. It was worth it; Jin thought at the time, the pair had been too happy together.
The dream shifted to another day, another set of lovers.
"Use the good handcuffs Tat-Chan," Jin had told Ueda.
Jin watched pleased that Kame was being hand cuffed to the railings of his bed. Kame was hot; Kame was such a good lay that his friend would eventually appreciate what Jin was going to force him to do. Then, when the cuffs had finally been fastened, Ueda took duck tape and put a large piece across Kame's mouth.
"We can't have you screaming, it might make the neighbors think the wrong thing," Jin said evilly. Jin picked up the curling iron from the counter. It was hot. Jin pressed the hot curling iron against Kame's buttock. Jin felt turned on by the sizzle of burning flesh.
"Jin," Someone shaking him interrupted the dream. Then the memory was gone as quickly as it came.
Jin shook his head. "It was a dream, wasn't it?"
"What dream?" When Kame saw his hesitation, he said. "You can tell me anything, you know that."
"Did I force Ueda to tie you to a bed?" Jin asked. "Then did I burn you?"
Kame flinched, "That wasn't you. That was crystal Jin."
"So it happened?" Jin demanded. "I need to know, please tell me."
"Yes it did," Kame's hands dropped, he looked away from Jin almost ashamed.
"Did I do anything else to you?" Jin asked. He didn't demand, it was simply a request.
"I call it the night of hell." Kame told him. "It was twenty four hours that I never want to repeat."
Jin's shoulder's sagged defeated. "Was it the same time that you got the scar on your arm?"
"I got that the next morning. Don’t' worry about what's in the past."
"I have people who hate me more then their lives, they hate me because of something I did to them." Jin said. "I have to know what I did."
"What did the doctor tell you?"
"He told me that it would eventually come to me." Jinn felt very frustrated. "But why must I wait? I have to know what I did to you before I can let myself become involved with you."
"You were a different person when you were on crystal meth," Kame told him.
"Yes, that's why you call me during that time crystal Jin."
"Crystal Jin was very violent...” Kame told him. "You beat on Ueda all the time. You blamed him for your addiction."
"My addiction wasn't his fault, it was mine."
"You cheated on Ueda with me." Kame said. "I know I shouldn't have, but at the time, I thought that Ueda was cheating on you with Junno."
"Did I beat you?"
"Only the last time." Kame told him. "You suddenly started using two plugs instead of one. That's when you went crazy."
Kame explained to Jin exactly what he did to him, to Junno and Ueda. Buy the end of Kame's explanation, Jin was sobbing.
Kame took Jin into his arms. Jin tried to struggle away, 'How can you
hold me, after what I did to you?"
"That was crystal Jin." Kame told him. "The real Jin, the Jin I love more then anything wouldn't have hurt me."
"I love you so much," Jin began to sob even harder. The guilt took over everything. No wonder the group hated him. He hated the monster that Kame called crystal Jin.
Jin kept crying, and Kame knew he had to stop the tears. He had to prove that He trusted Jin. But he couldn't get Jin to stop crying. No matter what he did, the tears flowed.
There was only one thing that Kame hadn’t' tried. He kissed Jin's lips. Jin had always hated kissing, it meant to Jin that a person belonged to someone, and Jin swore up and down that he belonged to no one.
Kame expected Jin to pull away from him, to perhaps hit him. But Instead, Jin sighed, as if he had finally gotten something he had been looking forwards to. Then he kissed Kame back.
"Why would you kiss me like that?" Jin asked when they pulled away for air.
"I love you, that's why," Kame told him. "Not the evil, crystal Jin. I'm in love with the real Jin, the loving, kind Jin."
When you kiss me like that, I feel like you own me" Jin continued. "Why would you want to own someone as terrible as me?"
"You're not terrible!" Kame insisted. "Do you mind if I own you?"
"I crave it," Jin breathed.
They where kissing again, He could feel Jin's hands on his, pulling him onto his lap. So Kame sat on Jin's lap as they kissed.
Jin pulled away from Kame, questions were in his eyes. It was strange how vulnerable Jin looked. He had always been the dominate one in love. But now Jin was afraid, really afraid.
"If we get back together, I want us to be our only ones," Jin told him.
"Are you sure about it?" Kame teased. He moved on Jin's lap just a little, just enough to elicit a groan from Jin.
"I mean it," Jin said firmly. "You'll be my only one. You can cut my stomach open if I ever cheat."
"I just might do it." Kame kissed him again. He could feel how hard Jin was. But Jin wasn't trying to make love to him, or anything like he did in the past. Instead, all they did was kiss like a couple of pre-teen kids.
Kame slid off of Jin's lap. His hand went to Jin' belt, unfastening it. Then he unzipped Jin's zipper.
"Kazuya, you don't have to." Jin gasped as Kame dove his hand into Jin's pants.
"You're right, I don't have to." He kissed Jin again. Kame always had a thing about giving Jin a hand job. He wasn't quite sure what it was. Perhaps it was because Jin always loved his neck when he did it. Jin didn't usually like to kiss, so Kame always used the hand jobs to get the affection he craved from his lover.
As Kame expected, Jin's lips left his, and suddenly Jin loved Kame's neck. Kissing it, biting it, sucking it with every stroke of Kame's hand. But this time the bites seemed a little more intense. It was almost as if Jin was marking Kame to show possession.
He could feel Jin's hardness swelling. Kame began to work on the very tip. That was Kame's favorite part. Kame had a real fetish for the tip of Jin's penis. It was always soft and squishy like a marshmallow, but when it was hard, it become a dagger wanting to split Kame open.
"Please," Jin's lips left his neck. "Please, oh please my love."
"Drink me," Jin's head arched back. "I'm almost there, please."
Kame bent down. He took Jin whole into his mouth. Then he began to love Jin with his mouth. He looked up to Jin, whose head was lolling back and forth. His hand went to the back of Kame's head.
"Kazuya, Kazuya, Kazuya." Jin chanted. Then finally, a scream like Kame hadn't heard before. Even Jin's orgasm seemed different.
As he was asked, Kame drank Jin's cum. He had never thought of it as a sign of submission, instead one of love. He always felt that after drinking from Jin, that he had a part of him inside him forever.
It was finished, Kame sat back up. He was hard, how could he couldn't? Not with a lover as hot as Jin. Kame knew that eventually he would have to go into the bathroom. To take care of his need. Jin had always thought of himself, and no one else. Not once had Kame's orgasms mattered to Jin.
Kame was surprised to feel Jin's hands on him, one hand between his legs. Then Jin was kissing him yet again. Jin's hand went up his leg, until it began to caress Kame's hardness.
"It's your turn now," Jin breathed. "I want to see the look on your face when you cum."
"Can I do it here? Or do you want me to go into the bathroom?" Kame tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice. "Just let me get some tissues."
"I don't understand," Jin looked really puzzled. "I want you to make love to me."
"You aren't hard," Kame reminded him.
"I will be, once you're inside of me." Jin told him. "All I want is to feel you inside of me. To show me how much you really need me."
"You don't like it that way," Kame moaned as Jin's caresses got harder.
"I've changed," Jin's eyes were big, pleading. "Please Kame, make love to me. Be my top."
Somehow, they ended up lying together on the couch. Kame wasn't too sure how that happened, but Jin was always very smooth when it came to love. Jin quickly stripped both of them of their clothes as they lay kissing.
Then Kame was making love to Jin. It felt like their first time all over again. But in a way it was their first time. This time, he had someone who loved him more then his life.
Jin asked, he was lying in Kame's bed. Kame was lying with his head on Jin's shoulder. Jin was sore. It was a good sore, his body aching in parts it usually didn't. Jin knew the reason, it was Kame. The only time Jin had ever been a bottom was during is time in LA. Always before, Jin was the top, he was in charge. But Jin found it felt good to give total control of his body to Kame. So he gave it to Kame again and again, until both were too exhausted to love.
Even the kissing was something new. Always before, Jin hadn't let others kiss him much. Kissing meant possession, and he didn't want anyone to own him. But that was before, before he had gone to the hospital. Now Jin was out of the hospital, and all he wanted was to be owned by Kame.
Through the open window, Jin could see the sun come up. It was so beautiful. Almost as much as the new life he had with Kame.
Jin had been so alone at the hospital. The only thing that brightened his day was seeing Kame almost daily. He did get letters a few times a week from his best friend Yama P. His friend was sorry that he couldn't visit very often. But Jin knew the reasons and understood. Yama p got a staring role in a costume drama. He had been very, very busy filming that. Also he had been in two movies. No real time to go visit in person much, but he had taken the time to write.
"I am more then a little angry at the group," Kame told him.
"Because of what happened last night?" Jin guessed.
"If they had told me they had planned on beating you up, I wouldn't have let you come." Kame insisted.
"I don't think I want to go back." Jin admitted. "Has Johnny-sama said anything to you about my returning? The truth."
"He wants to talk to us in the morning." Kame told him.
"If I leave, can we stay together?" Jin asked the question that had been bothering him.
"You're not getting rid of me that easily." Kame said very seriously. "If you go, I go. We'll find some way to be happy."
Jin took Kame's hand in his, and then his lips went to Kame's scar. He kissed it very, very gently. Then he kissed the new bruises from the attack, when Kame had struggled so much to get away, to help Jin. "I'm sorry about this."
"Crystal Jin did this, not you." Kame pulled himself up so he could look into Jin's eyes. "You touch me in anger even once, I will leave you. This time I won't come back!"
"I won't," Jin vowed. "Kame can I ask you something? I know you'll laugh at me."
"What is it?"
"I've never really belonged to anyone." Jin couldn't help but sound afraid. "I want to belong to you."
Jin closed his eyes, expecting mocking laughter, instead he felt Kame take his hand. He opened his eyes.
'This ring," Kame touched the ring he had given Jin. 'Means that you belong to me."
"I love you," Jin breathed.
"Love you too." Kame kissed Jin hard, passionately.
Jin let Kame settle between his legs. Then Kame was making love to him yet again. This time Jin was very happy. He belonged to Kame. That was all he wanted all he dreamt of when he was in the hospital. Now his dream had come true, and he was happy. He only had one thing to do before his life become complete. He had to decide if he wanted to go back to his group. Even that he wasn't afraid of, because he had Kame at his side.
Kame and Jin were getting ready to go to Johnny-sama's office. Kame had just taken a shower. Jin had wanted to join him, but as Kame pointed out, if he had, they never would have gotten clean. So Jin took the first shower, then Kame took his.
Kame was still angry at the group. They had lied to him about the reason for the meeting, then they had hand cuffed him. Kame looked down to his new bandages. Jin had insisted that Kame go in to get his wound checked. Because Kame didn't get help right away, the doctor thought there would be scaring.
"You are not going back to Kat-tun," Kame decided. "No one treats you the way they did, and expects you to just act like nothing happened."
"I wasn't just going to act like nothing happened." Jin told him. "But I think that both sides are guilty."
"I haven't done anything!" Kame insisted.
"But I have!" Jin reminded him.
"That was the drugs, not you." Kame reminded him.
"Listen, if you don't want me to go back, I won't." Jin finally decided. "But have you thought of what I would do instead?"
"No, not really." Kame admitted.
"It wouldn't be too bad, us working together." Jin went to Kame, kissing his lips. At the same time he untied Kame's robe.
Kame let Jin slide the robe over his shoulders; it landed with a heap on the floor. "No it wouldn't."
"There is only you," Jin told him between kisses. "There will only be you."
"There better be, or I'll cut your heart out." Kame mock threatened.
"If I do something stupid like cheat on you, you can borrow my knife." He pulled Kame down to the bed. "Perhaps we can pass it off as suicide."
"Oh I'm going to kill you," Kame decided. "I just haven't decided when."
"I'll be on guard," Jin rolled onto his back.
"Don't be. It will be at least fifty or sixty years before I do kill you." Kame began to nibble at Jin's neck.
'That long?" Jin couldn't help but grin. Then he sighed as Kame climbed on top of him. He settled between Jin's legs, and entered it.
"You're going to be my good boy until then," Kame ordered with a hard thrust.
"Yes, master." Jin moaned.
Kame came with Jin to see Johnny-sama that morning. He wasn't expecting to be allowed to stay with Jin. But Kame had been ushered into the office with Jin. So the lovers sat on chairs in front of Johnny-sama's impressive oak desk.
"You know why I called you here," Johnny-sama begun.
"Yes sir, I think I do." Jin said.
"I talked to the rest of your group this morning," Johnny-sama continued. "They admitted to me that they attacked you last night, and that you didn't fight back."
"I deserve what they did to me." Jin looked down. "I wasn't good to them in the past."
"I see," he signed. "This isn't the first time you've gotten into trouble."
"Akanishi-kun's spent a lot of time in the hospital," Kame began.
"A year," Johnny-sama interrupted. "The doctors wanted to let you out after six months, but I persuaded them that you needed to stay in until you were fully well."
"Thank you sir," Jin told him.
"The extra stay wasn't covered by insurance." Johnny-sama told him. "The agency had to spend a great deal of money to get you well. Have you thought of how you are going to pay me back for monies I've spent on you?"
"Pay you back?" suddenly Jin looked very sick.
"You are only qualified to do two things," Johnny-sama continued. "Sing or being a prostitute."
"You want me to go back to selling myself," Jin realized.
"If you go back to being a Johnny's you won't have to sell yourself." Johnny-sama told him. "Though to put it mildly, I was more then a little upset to find out you were a prostitute."
"At the time, I didn't have a choice."
"There is always a choice." Johnny-sama smiled evilly. "I think you could make a lot of money in high end prostitution. I know men that would spend good money for you."
"I wont' sell myself ever again." Jin vowed. "I have someone now. He means everything to me. I can't cheat on him."
"Just because you return to Johnny's doesn't mean that you necessarily have to return to Kat-Tun," Johnny-sama told him. "I was thinking of spinning the two of you off as a pair."
"A pair?" Kame repeated.
"This is the terms of your return," The Agent slid a piece of paper across his desk.
Jin picked it up, read it. Then he handed it to Jin. The terms were generous. Jin would be put on severe probation; he would have to take weekly drug tests. He would have to continue his treatments and take his medication.
"What would happen to the group if I don't come back to Kat-Tun?" Jin asked.
"It’s your choice," Johnny-sama told him. "If the two of you become a new unit, I've decided that the services of the other four are not needed."
"Not needed?" Kame repeated.
"They will be graduated out of Johnny's." Johnny-sama told him. "We will have a big ceremony of course, but at the end of the day, they will be out of a job."
Jin and Kame exchanged shocked glances. Finally Kame spoke. "You need to agree Jin."
"All right, I agree." Jin took a pen and signed the paper.
"Welcome back," Johnny-sama stood up, he shook Jin's hand, and then he shook Kame's. "Your return is going to be a surprise. I think that all of Japan will be in shock when they see what I have planned.”
The group had been ordered to meet with Jin. This time, Jin decided it would be different. Kame had arranged it with Johnny-sama. They would meet in a meeting room at the main offices. Security would be posted outside just in case anyone got hurt.
The group would be allowed to talk by themselves, but nothing harmful would be allowed to happen.
"We don't need guards outside," Koki told Jin when the other group members arrived. "We won't hurt you."
The group sat at a table, Jin and Kame on one side, the rest on the other.
"Johnny-sama ordered us to listen to you," Maru told him. "So we'll listen."
"First, I want to apologize for what I did to you when I was on drugs," Jin told them. "What I did in the past is not right."
"You're right it isn't," Junno started.
"Stop it! Let him talk!" Ueda put a hand on Junno's arm.
"You will listen to him?" Kame asked.
Yes, we will all listen," Maru decided.
Jin was able to tell them everything, about how he had been tricked into becoming an addict, how he had gone insane, then about his time in the hospital. Then finally the times when he started to recover and Kame had been there to visit.
Kame told them how sick Jin was, just how horrible withdrawals had been. But as soon as Jin has stopped being addicted, he had worked as hard as he could to get better.
"What guarantee do we have that you won't take that stuff again?" Junno asked.
'Tell you what, you know those family members you have Ueda?" Jin asked. "You know the ones in organized crime?"
'What about them?" Ueda asked levelly.
Jin shoved a bank book at Ueda. "I have deposited money in an account. If I ever even think of getting high again, I want you to use the money to take a hit out on me."
Ueda looked through the book. "You do realize that is such a baka thing to say?"
"I mean it," Jin said firmly.
"What would Kame do if you hired your own hit?" Junno looked at Kame.
"We don't have to tell him, do we?" Jin countered.
"You are a baka." Koki rolled his eyes. "A big huge Baka!"
'You know, Jin wasn't this stupid when he was on drugs," Maru pointed out.
"Yeah, he thought he knew it all." Junno agreed.
"Well, Jin you know it all?" Ueda asked.
"No, he doesn't." Kame told him.
"Jin?" Ueda repeated. "Do you know it all?"
"I don't know anything." Jin told him.
"I think we should take him back," Maru was the first to decide.
"I'm not sure I want to come back," Jin admitted. "I am afraid that you'll hurt me again."
"I for one am sorry for what I did." Ueda told him. "There's a part of me who still loves you. Who should have been more understanding about what you did under drugs."
"You're the one that I hurt the most," Jin told him. "Of all the people in the world, I know I'll never get your forgiveness."
"What about what happened with Maru?" Koki asked.
"What happened with Maru?" Kame repeated.
"When Jin was on drugs, he got Maru drunk, really drunk." Koki explained. "Then, when Maru barely even knew his name, he slept with him."
"I do not remember much of what happened during my time on drugs," Jin admitted. "But I can remember hurting Maru."
"Why did you do it?"
"You had happiness with Maru," Jin told him. "At the time, I didnt' think anyone deserved to have happiness. I set it up, so you would catch us together. I wanted to break the two of you up."
"It didn't work," Maru told him. "Koki forgave me. Our bond is even stronger then it was the day you got me drunk."
"As I said before, I am sorry." Jin told him. "I know it isn't much, but I will work hard to try and earn your trust."
"What about you guys?" Kame had a hint of anger in his voice. "If we go back to the group, will Jin get hurt?"
"No, he won't." Ueda promised. "We've all ready discussed this, we won't hurt you again."
Kat-Tun talked for a long time. It really seemed to clear the air with them. Both sides seemed to come to more of an understanding. They might not be friends, but they would work together, for the good of everyone.
Just then a staff member came into the room. She handed Jin a package. "This was delivered this morning from a hospital. Johnny-sama told me to give it to you right away."
'Thank you." Jin took the package.
"Why don't you open it?" Ueda suggested.
"I'm not sure, its personnel." Jin tried to hide it.
"Come on," Kame smiled at him.
With shaking hands, Jin opened the package. He wasn't sure what it was. Could it be something bad? But it was a scrap book.
Your students made the following scrap book during their art class. They wanted to give it to you as a thank you for helping them. I know you have promised to come once a week to teach them, but we all know how busy idols can be.
You have made real changes in your student’s lives. Please keep this as a memory of your time spent teaching them. Perhaps someday, you might think of a career working with children, you seem to have a natural talent.
"Read it!" Maru encouraged.
Jin read the letter to his band mates. He tried not to cry as he read it, but still the tears fell. He wiped his eyes and took out a scrap book.
"Jin taught school?" Maru asked.
"He formed a chess club for the children at the hospital." Kame explained. "He spent hours daily teaching them how to play."
"What was in it for him?" Koki asked.
"Nothing," Jin opened the scrap book. There were photos, drawings of Jin by the students. Every page held a memory.
Jin was surprised when the rest of the group moved so they could look at it too.
"You were bald?" Maru asked.
"When I was going through withdrawals, it felt as if my hair had become alive." Jin tried to explain. "I know it sounds crazy now, but at the time it felt as if my hair was trying to kill me. Every shaft hurt."
"What has that got to do with you being bald?" Junno asked.
"To get rid of the pain, I would pull my hair out by the roots." Jin told him. "The doctors decided I wasn't well enough to have hair. So I had to earn it back."
"But you were insane, and working with children?" Junno asked.
"I wasn't a danger to anyone when I began to work with them." Jin looked back to the book. "I only started working with them right before Kat-tun toured Asia."
They stopped talking and began to look at the book with Jin. He knew that the teacher thought it wouldn’t' come back, but Jin knew he would. The students meant too much for him not to.
Then he felt a familiar touch. Without looking up, he knew who it was, Ueda. His former lover had put his arm around Jin's shoulders. Then a whisper in his ears. "I am sorry I hurt you."
"I'm sorry too." Jin told him. "I will never forgive myself for what I did to you."
"So, do you think we could be friends?" Ueda asked.
"Yes, I would like that very much." Jin looked at Ueda. That was one thing he had always liked about Ueda. His friend had a heart so big that it was willing to forgive just about anything. It was a first step, one step closer to Kat-Tun being whole.
Work for the six members Kat-tun started the next day. The group had a lot of work to do. They had to quickly rerecord their new song, for now Jin was going to be on it. Then afterwards they had a lot of intense rehearsals.
Slowly things changed for the group. They began to forgive each other. Still, Kame was always hovering around Jin, protecting him from the others. One day, three days before the live TV show they were going to appear on, Jin realized that everything was back to normal.
The group had the evening off the day before. Kame and Jin had spent the time in bed, loving each other. Kame had given Jin one of the best hand jobs he had ever gotten, and Jin had rewarded him by giving him love bites on his neck. Then for the first time ever, Jin begged Kame to mark him too. He belonged to Kame, and he wanted everyone to know.
Koki sniggered when he saw Kame's neck, but the only thing he said was. "Looks like the vampires are out."
"Just look at Jin's neck," Maru said in a stage whisper. "He's' the one that got hit the worst by vampires."
"I didn't think Jin liked getting marks," Junno whispered to Ueda.
"He doesn't...at least he didn't," Ueda told him loud enough for everyone to hear.
"Listen, this isn't a meeting about what I do to my boy friends neck," Kame told them. "We're supposed to be getting ready for the show."
'You could have fooled us," Koki sniggered.
"Coming in here with all those things on your neck!" Maru said. “Johnny-sama's going to have a cow."
"He's all ready seen them," Jin told them. "He told me I could move into Kame's apartment if we can keep the marks off each other."
"You're going to move into someone apartment?" Ueda sounded like he couldn’t believe his ears. "What are you going to do with your other boy friends?"
'What other boy friends?" Jin asked.
"You usually have at least four," Ueda said from experience.
"You wont' let me have other boy friends will you?" Jin asked Kame.
"Nope, he's not allowed." Kame agreed.
"How can you stop him?" Junno asked.
"He's my bitch," Kame shrugged. "I'll just beat him down."
"I just love it when you talk macho." Jin beamed at Kame.
"See? That's all I needed, was a man who could tame me."
"I don't believe this," Koki groaned, he was sick and tired of Kame and Jin's happiness.
"I'm moving in with Kazuya, and you can’t' stop me." Jin pouted.
"We don't want to stop you," Ueda teased. He put his arm around Junno's waist. "Hey, if they let the two of them move in together..."
'They might let us!" Junno said perkily. "Why don't I call and see!"
Junno kissed Ueda then ran off to ask permission for them to live together. Ueda looked so happy as he watched his lover. A special look that he had never given Jin.
"Hey, Koki...." Maru looked at his lover with his own special smile.
"What Yu-Chan?" Koki asked.
"I want to move in with you!" When Koki glared at him, Maru pouted. "Please Koki?"
"All right, I'll ask." Koki moaned. He went off to make his own call.
"Isn't he wonderful?" Maru watched his lover ask he talked on the phone.
Jin looked around, no one was watching. He kissed Kame on the lips. He felt Kame's arms go around him. The kiss increased. If he had known being a one guy man was this wonderful, he would have done it a long time ago.
Rehearse, rehearse, and rehearse. That was all Jin's life was. Still he took time to visit the hospital, playing chess with the kids. Kame came with him. It felt good to have his boy friend at his side.
Then they where back at the rehearsal hall. The show was going to be the next day. Jin still didn't feel like his performance was right. Still, he had a choice of this or prostitution. He knew what he would pick.
He was taking a cool down break. Jin and Kame were at the drinks machine.
"I heard that you were out of the hospital." A very familiar voice said from behind him.
Jin spun around. It was Yama P. "P! I can't believe it!"
The friends hugged. The friends talked to each other almost non stop. Trying to catch up with everything in two minutes.
He could feel Yama p's hand on his arm, trying to pull him away from Kame. Just how it always had been. While Yama P was a good friend of Jin's he didn't really like Kame. He would always make sure that the two would be apart. Yama P also had another reason. He was one of Jin's boy friends.
Jin could see Kame out of the corner of his eye. He looked so sad, so depressed. How many times had Jin see Kame this way when he went off with P? Too many. Jin used to be happy when he saw Kame so sad. Now all Jin wanted to do was comfort him. To hold him in his arms and whisper that Kame was the only one he loved.
Jin pulled away from Yama P. "Listen, I've changed."
"I've heard you're off drugs." Yama P told him. "I'm proud of you."
"Listen, we have a lot to talk about," He gave a look of victory to Kame. "Why don't the two of us go to my apartment and spend some quality time together?" Again, Yama P tried to take Jin away from Kame.
"I'm sorry," Jin pulled away from P yet again. "I have plans for tonight."
"Why don't you cancel them?" P suggested. "It's been so long, I've missed you."
Kame stepped between P and Jin. "He told you, he has plans."
"Listen slut, you're not the only one in his life." Yama P said firmly. "You've known from the beginning that you have to share him with me."
"I am not a slut!" Kame growled.
"Oh yes you are!" Yama P snorted. "All you are Jin's other lover. That's all you will ever be. You will never be number one! You're lucky if your 3!"
Jin knew if he didn't do something fast, there would be fight between Kame and Yama P. Jin pushed Kame away from P. The pair always seemed to be fighting. If it wasn't a fight over Jin, it was about who had the best costumes. There was a rivalry that went back further then Jin's relationship with eather men. There was a severe personality clash between the two men that no one could heal. Because neither man wanted to change it. They hated each other.
"When I say I changed in the hospital, I mean that I changed." Jin told him. "I did write you and tell you we were over."
"We both know that's because they made you write that letter." Yama P told him. "You wouldn't really leave me for Kame!"
"Kazuya was with me almost every day when I was in the hospital." Jin told him. "Little by little I fell in love with him."
"So now he's your number one, is that it?" Jin could see the anger fade from Yama P. “It's just I was worried about you when you where in the hospital. I know we can't go back to the old days."
"We do have great memories," Jin told him. "But my only one is Kame."
"I guess I'm beaten then," Yama P decided to give in gracefully. He put out his hand. Jin shook it. They hugged for one last time.
"I still want to be your friend." Jin told him. "You will always be my best friend."
Just then, Kusano came into the break room. He saw Yama P talking to Jin, and looked on the verge of tears. From his reaction, Jin knew the truth. Kusano was in love with Yama P.
"Go to him P," Jin told his friend. "Let him be your only one. You'll find its better then what we ever had."
"All right, I will." Yama P decided. "Sayonara."
"Sayonara." Jin watched as his friend went to Kusano.
"Are you going out with him tonight?" Kusano asked Yama P.
"How can I go out with him, when I have you?" Yama P pointed out.
"But I thought..."
"I broke up with him." Yama P lied. "How can I go out with a whore like him, when I have the best thing in the world with me?"
Kusano's entire demeanor changed. He simply glowed. Yama P took Kusano's hand and they left the room.
Jin couldn't look at his lover; he wasn't sure what Kame would do. But he felt Kame put his arms around him from behind. "Did you really mean it? Am I your only one?"
"You'll always be my only one." Jin turned to him. "The only one I've ever loved."
"Prove it." Kame pulled Jin into the rest room. Then he shoved him into a stall and locked the door. "I was so worried."
"Don't be," Jin took Kame into his arms. "I will never go off with P again."
"I know it's just...." Kame looked depressed.
"I'm sorry I hurt you all those times. From now on, there is only you.” Jin promised. He took Kame's chin in his and tilted it up. Then he kissed his lover's lips.
It was time for the big night. Johnny-sama's plan went into action. Kat-tun would return as a six man group on a special three hour live version of Shonnen Club. All the Johnny’s groups were there. It was a mini-concert, even better then the countdown concert. Jin had to wait back stage as the rest of the group was interviewed. His rejoining the group was a big surprise.
Finally, it was time for Kat-Tun to reveal themselves. Kame took Jin's hand. "Why are you so nervous?"
"I haven't been on stage in a long time." Jin confessed.
"You'll do wonderful." Kame kissed him gently.
"Welcome back to a special live version of Shonnen Club!" Matsu Jun said. "Now for the first time ever, Kat-tun is premiering their new song."
"As you know, we interviewed them a few minutes ago, and they said they had a secret. Now the secret can be revealed!" Aiba was gushing at the news.
"I introduce to you, Kamenashi, Akanishi, Tanaka, Taguchi, Ueda and Nakamaru!" Matsu Jun screamed. "It's Kat-tun!"
Jin glanced at Kame. His lover smiled at him and gave him the thumbs up. Then the music began and the lights came up. One by one, the group stepped onto the set. Until finally, Jin came on. He began to sing the new song.
Suddenly almost every person in the audience began to scream at the top of their lungs. It was hard for Jin; he had trouble hearing the song. But then it was time for Kame to sing. Jin was always the happiest when he was on stage. It was like the old days, but some how even better.
The girls in the audience screamed like there was no tomorrow during the song. When the song was finished, there was loud applause. Then Kat-Tun launched into their next song, "Never Again." They preformed a total of six songs with no breaks.
Jin felt someone arm's around his waist. He looked to his side, it was Kame who smiled. Not his fake smile, but the real smile. The smile that he reserved for only Jin.
No one who watched the Shonnen club performance could have ever guessed the turmoil Kat-Tun had gone through. Their new song quickly became the best ever selling single for Kat-tun. With Jin's return, Kat-tun quickly exceeded Smap's popularity and sales record. For Kat-tun wasn't the same without their six members. Just as Jin wasn't the same without his Kame.