From: katrinka <katrinka@flash.net>
Date: Tue, 02 Jan 2001 16:25:07 -0600
Subject: New: Lost Memories (1/4)
Source: xff


Title - Lost Memories (1/4)
Story seven In the Doors and Walls Universe
Author - Katrinka
Authors Email: Katrinka@flash.net
Rating - R
Classification - MSR 
Spoilers - Requiem
Timing: This story takes place during the holiday week of 2000
Keywords - A/U what if 
Archiving Gossamer, Ephemeral, Touchstone, and LEGACY only. Any other
archiving must have authors express permission first. I will probably give it!
Feedback: Please give this author some feedback! Even a line
Stating "I like this" or "I hated this" is welcome. 
Authors note: The hospital is based on a hospital that the author worked as
a LPN at. The hospital had very strict rules about ICU. Though it tried to
encourage a 'family atmosphere' in the rest of the facility, which meant
that they had very lax visiting hours.
 Summary: the aliens return Mulder. He finds that everything is different
and must adjust to a new life.

Time: December 26th 2000

It was cold.

It was very cold outside. That was the first thing that Mulder could feel.
He huddled against a wall, trying to pull his thin clothes over his body.
He tried to get up, and found himself slipping and falling. 

The cold beat down on to his body. It took him several moments to realize
that the cold was snow. It was snowing.

"Am I alive?"

The pain.

The pain cut that cut through Mulder was sharper then a knife. His whole
body hurt. His joints ached; his head throbbed in pain. The pain was the
thing that convinced Fox Mulder that he was alive. 

*Where am I? * Mulder thought. *Why is it so cold? *

Mulder tried to think of Scully, but he couldn't find her in his mind. She
had cut herself off from him. He tried to teleport to his apartment, and
found that he couldn't do that either. He was too weak. 

Mulder's mind went to Byers. *Byers help me. *

There was no answer from Byers, so Mulder tried Langly. 

*Mulder! Where are you? * Langly telepathed to him.

*I don't know, It's cold. *

*Open your eyes and look around. *

Mulder did as he was told. He was in an alleyway. The Dumpster he laid
against looked slightly familiar. Everything was covered in snow. 

*I think I'm behind my apartment building. * 

"We'll be right there, don't move!" Langly ordered.

"I don't think I can." Mulder confessed.

Two of the Lone Gunmen suddenly appeared in front of Mulder. 

"Oh my goddess." Langly said running up to Mulder. "Mulder?"

"Ringo?" Mulder asked. "Is that you?" 

"Yes, Mulder. It's me." His friend tried to smile.

"What happened to you?" Frohike asked. "You look like a bum."

"Do you think he remembers in that condition?" Langly asked.

"It's cold, so cold." Mulder groaned. 

"That's because it's the middle of winter!" 

"It can't be. It's May." Mulder groaned. 

"We've got to get him out of here." Langly said. 

"We'll take him to his apartment, then call an ambulance." Frohike decided.

****************

"Can's sleep?" Byers asked. He put two cups of water in the microwave. 

"It's not me, It's the babies. They haven't settled down yet." Scully sat
on the couch. 

"They're probably excited about Christmas." 

"The three of you went out of your way to give me a nice holiday." Scully
looked at Byers. "Thanks."

Byers shrugged. "You made the apartment much brighter." 

"Is that how you always celebrate the holidays?"

"Basically. Except that I kept Frohike from going skyclad." Byers
shuddered. "You didn't deserve to see a naked Frohike."

"I know you do that for solstice, but for Christmas?" Scully couldn't keep
the disbelief out of her voice.

"He does it for any winter holiday. He's a closet nudist." Byers said with
a smile as the microwave beeped.

It wasn't the first time that Byers and Scully had spent the night
together. Byers camping out in Scully's guest room. They were friends, no
more, no less. But Byers had in Mulder's absence become Scully's best
friend, being there when his friend was lonely.

They talked for a while, then Scully noticed that Byers was staring into
space. "Is everything okay?"

"Dana." Byers gasped. 

"Yes?"

"Langly just called me telepathically." Her friend told her. "They found him."

"What?"

"He's back."  

"Who?" Scully demanded. 

"Mulder. Frohike and Byers found him in an ally."

"Where is he now?"

"He's been taken to a hospital. We're to meet them there." 

Tears stung Scully's eyes. "I can't believe it. Mulder's back."

Byers took Scully into his arms, hugging her. "It's a miracle."

********************



Scully arrived at the hospital, half-anticipating, half-dreading seeing her
partner. Would he be able to remember her? Byers presence conformed her.
She asked at the front desk were Mulder was. She was told that he was in
intensive care. 

The Lone Gunmen waited in the ICU's waiting room. Frohike jumped to his
feet. "Thank the goddess your here."

"How is he?" Byers asked.

"They wont' tell us." Langly said.

"He was conscious when we found him." Frohike said. 

"He asked for you." Langly told Scully. 

"I have to see him." Scully said firmly.

Scully went to the intensive care unit. A nurse stopped her. "Family only."

"Mulder's my partner!" 

"I'm sorry, the hospital has rules."

"You don't understand..."

"Dana, why don't you wait with us?" Byers suggested.

"No! I must see him." Scully insisted. 

"You don't understand, hospital rules..." The nurse repeated. 

"No *you* don't understand. Mulder's my husband." 

Scully was surprised to see the shocked look on the Frohike and Langly's
faces. 

"Scully, why didn't you tell us you were married?" Frohike asked.

"Did you know?" Langly asked Byers.

"Yes, I knew." Byers almost whispered.

"You became involved with Scully and she's married?!?" Frohike accused.

"I've told you before. I'm not involved with Dana. We're just friends."
Byers said firmly. 

"You call her Dana."

"She asked me to!" 

"Do you have any proof of your marriage?" The nurse asked ignoring the Lone
Gunmen.

Scully took the marriage license out of her pocket and handed it to the
nurse. The nurse spent a moment reading. Then she handed the license back
to Scully. "I'm sorry. We have to be careful about things like this."

"It's understandable." 

"These men are Mulder's family too." Scully lied. "There my husband's
cousins."

"Very well." the nurse said. "Come this way."

Scully followed the nurse to Mulder's room. Her partner was hooked up to
ventilators. His thin arms above the covers. They were peppered with scars
both old and new. Mulder's cheeks were sunken. Mulder's hair was long and
matted. He had a full beard. It didn't take a doctor to realize that Mulder
had lost a great deal of weight.

"Oh god Mulder, what did they do to you?" Scully murmured. She went to
Mulder's bed, and touched him gently on the forehead. 

Mulder's eyes flickered open. *Scully is that really you? *

*Yes, it's me. * Scully telepathed.

*Thank gods your alive. * Mulder's eyes flickered shut. 


*************
*I wonder if this is how Mulder felt like after my return? * Scully thought. 

*Did he feel this helpless? * 

She picked up Mulder's chart, and began to read. Mulder was suffering from
severe malnurishment. Her partner also had signs of torture, not only were
there scars, Mulder's bones were healing. From the chart, Scully could tell
that those who had abducted Mulder had treated him like a laboratory
animal. His scars much more extensive then other abductees. 

*Why? Why would you be different? * 

"It's because he's a Tomorrow Person." Byers said, coming into the room.
Frohike followed him. 

"They were trying to see what made him different then normal humans."
Scully guessed.

"It makes sense." Byers took Mulder's chart and began to look through it. 

Scully began to rub the ring on her right ring finger. Her wedding ring. A
secret marriage. Now her husband was back, and she couldn't help him. 

"When did you get married?" Frohike asked.

"April 30th. We teleported to St. Stephen's island. Elopement, I guess
that's what you call it."

"So you where married only a few days before he disappeared." 

"Yeah." Scully realized that Mulder was watching them. 

*Secret, our secret. * Mulder telepathed.

Scully got to her feet; she touched her partner on the forehead. *I had to
tell. The hospital has rules. I wouldn't have been able to see you if I
hadn't told. *

*All right then. * With much effort, Mulder raised his hand, so that he was
touching Scully's cheek. *Love you lady. *

*I love you too. * Tears stung her eyes.

*Don't cry. *

"Oh my gods." Byers gasped.

"What is it?" Scully asked.

"Looking at his blood work, Mulder has a high amount of Barium in his
bloodstream."

"What does that mean?"

"It's a mineral. It's used to dampen Tomorrow People's powers. They
probably gave it to him to keep him from teleporting." Frohike explained.

"How do we get it out of his system>"

"We'll have to contact John. His computer TIM can take the Barlium out of
Mulder's bloodstream and heal him." 

*NO! * Mulder telepathed. *You can't take me to the Tomorrow People's
headquarters. *

"Why not?" Byers asked.

*We don't know if the aliens put something in me. A transmitter or
something. I could lead the aliens to the Tomorrow people. * Mulder explained.

"Isn't your health worth the risk?"

*No, it isn't." Mulder said firmly. *The only thing I can remember about
them is that they see the Tomorrow people as a threat. *

"He's right, we have to wait." Scully agreed. 

"If we give it time, the Barlium might take his powers away forever." Byers
said clearly upset. 

*I lived quite well without the powers, I can do so again. * Mulder's eyes
flickered shut. 

************************

Scully had to inform the FBI about Mulder's return. It wasn't something she
really wanted to do. Questions would be asked. She wasn't sure she was up
to the questions. She picked up her cell phone and called Skinner. She
should have called her new partner, but she wasn't sure she really wanted
him there. The Assistant Director would be more understanding. 

An hour later, Skinner arrived, only to be stopped by the nurse on duty. He
showed her his badge, and she stated the rules again. 

Skinner looked towards Mulder's room. "What about Agent Scully? You've let
her visit him."

"His wife is considered part of the family."

"His wife?" Skinner asked puzzled. "Agent Mulder isn't married."

"There is a copy of the marriage certificate in his chart, would you like
to see it?" 

"Yes, please." 

The nurse handed Skinner the chart; Scully watched the Assistant Director
reading the chart. Scully knew she better explain things fast to Skinner.
She got to her feet and went into the hallway. 

Skinner handed the chart to the nurse and walked up to Scully. "Agent
Scully, there are something we need to talk about."

"Yes sir, I know."

"Is there a place we can talk?"

Scully took him to a waiting room. Skinner shut the door. "Agent Scully,
why didn't you tell me that you had married Agent Mulder?"

"You know that the FBI frowns on married couples being partners."

"So you didn't want to be taken off the X-Files?" Skinner guessed.

"Yes sir." 

"Once Agent Mulder had disappeared, you didn't have to worry about being
taken off anymore. So why didn't you tell me then?" Skinner asked.

"Because I had always hoped that he would be returned." Scully admitted. "I
thought that once he had come back, he would be my partner again."

"Starting next week, you're going to be assigned to a desk job."

"But sir...."

"You won't be taken off the X-Files, but you need to take care of
yourself." Skinner told her. "Agent Mulder wouldn't want you to run around
on cases this far along."

"Yes sir." 

Skinner came closer to her. "St. Stephan does have private marriages. It
was for the best that you tried to have a private marriage. It's too bad
that Agent Mulder's return had to change that."

"What do you know about St. Stephen's marriage laws?" 

"I can't tell you that."

Then Scully realized the truth. Skinner had gone to St. Stephan two summers
ago with his secretary Kim. "Don't worry sir. I'll keep your secret." 

"Thank you." Skinner seemed to be moved. "How is Agent Mulder doing?" 

"He's been slipping in and out of a coma. His body is covered with scars.
It's quite evident that he was seriously tortured. He's lost a great deal
of weight. I don't think he was fed much while captive." Scully tried to
sound professional, but didn't quite make it. She was surprised to feel
Skinner pulling her into his arms.

Title - Lost Memories (2/4)
Story seven In the Doors and Walls Universe
Author - Katrinka

**********
 Time: December 28, 2000

"It's been two days, and Mulder hasn't gotten any better." Byers said. "The
doctors don't know what to do."

"I know that." Scully snapped. She felt powerless, she couldn't help
Mulder. She had no idea what was wrong with him. 

"We need to contact John." Byers was referring to the leader of the
Tomorrow People, the man who had taken the implants out of both Scully and
Mulder. He was a scientific wizard who had a computer that could heal
people. "If anyone can cure Mulder, it would be John."

"No! We can't do that." Scully looked at the sleeping Mulder. "He made me
promise not to take him to the headquarters."

"I never promised not to contact him." Byers pointed out. "I've all ready
talked to John." 

"Byers! I thought you where Mulder's friend." Scully almost shouted. "How
could you go behind his back?"

"I am Mulder's friend." Byers said calmly. That's why I had to ask."

"Well? What does John have to say?"

"John believes Mulder's healing is worth the risk. We could teleport him to
the lab, heal him, and teleport him out all within thirty minutes." Byers
told her. 

Scully looked at her husband. His vitals had slipped in the past day. He
had slipped into a coma earlier in the day. He was getting worse not
better. "All right, do it." 

"Do you want to come with us?" Byers reached out, and took Scully's hand.
He rubbed her knuckles. 

"I can't control my teleportion. I'm not sure an ocean dip would be good
for the twins." Scully confessed. "How can we get Mulder out of here,
without the nurses desk noticing?"

Byers smiled a bit. "I'll take care of it."

"I'm sorry I snapped at you." Scully tried to apologize. 

"It's all right. You're worried about Mulder." He squeezed Scully's hand.
"We're all worried about him."

"Contacting John was the right thing to do." Scully told him. 
********************************

Scully went to the waiting room and got herself a cup of decaffeinated
coffee. Mulder had been gone for thirty minutes, and she was trying to keep
her mind off of her partner.  Byers had taken care of the nurses at the
nurse's station. They had been hypnotized into believing that nothing was
wrong. 

Byers had decided to stay with Scully, telling her that she needed someone
with her as she waited. He was sitting only a few inches from Scully, it
comforted her. 

One of the babies began to kick. Byers reached out, and touched Scully's
stomach. *Sleep, your mother needs you to sleep. *

"I didn't thank you for being here for me when Mulder's gone."

"It's all right." Byers took his hand off of Scully's stomach. 

"What happened between us, I don't want Mulder finding out." Scully said
softly. 

"We're only friends." Byers reminded her.

"What we've had went beyond friendship." Scully reminded him.

"There was nothing physical in our relationship."

"I know, but Mulder might not understand." Scully reached up, touching
Byers beard. "You're going to make a great husband one day."

"I'll never marry. I've already come to terms with it." Byers said morosely.

"Someday you'll be happy John." Scully promised.

"How do you know that?" Byers asked.

"I just know." Scully smiled.


"He's back." Frohike said, coming into the waiting room. 

"How is he doing?" Scully couldn't keep the concern out of her voice.

"He's asking for you." 

Scully picked up her coat and put it on. "I'll talk to him."

"Why are you wearing your coat?" Byers asked.

"I want to be sure it's him before he find out about the pregnancy."

"He know about it. He told me before he was kidnapped."

"That was before. He might not remember what happened to him." Scully
smoothed the coat over her stomach. "I don't want him to be too surprised."

"I understand." 

Scully went into his room. Mulder sat up in bed; he was no longer hooked up
to the machines. His hair had been combed out, so that it was no longer
tangled and matted. His hair fell below his shoulders. Scully wondered if
the aliens had ever cut his hair. 

Mulder looked at his partner. "Scully. Thank the gods your here." 

"How are you feeling?"

"I hurt all over." Mulder glanced down at his arms. Scars peppered his
arms, both the red of new scars and white of older scars. "What happened to
me?"

"You don't remember?" There was hesitancy in Scully's voice.  

"Not a damn thing." He admitted. "The last thing I remember was going to
Oregon with Skinner."

A pang went through Scully. Mulder had amnesia. "Perhaps it's for the best."  

"How much time did I loose?" 

"It's December 28."

"Three days before New Years." Mulder murmured. "I haven't gotten you a
Holiday present. I promised you a big diamond."

There were tears in Scully's eyes. "Do you remember that?"

"How could I forget?" He looked her over.  "I'm sorry, you must have gotten
on with your life. Why don't you go onto where ever you're going to?"

"I just had to make sure. Make sure that you could remember us." A tear
rolled down her cheek. "I was so afraid that you would be like me. That you
wouldn't remember."

"I can remember everything. The first time we made love. When we made love
on that kitchen floor. The time we ran off to St. Stephan Island and got
married." He smiled. "I can even remember a love making session in a sink.
Is that good enough for you?"

"Then I have a Holiday present for you. I found out about it the day you
disappeared." Scully took off her coat. "I'm pregnant." 

*This is the best present you could have ever given me. * Tears poured down
his face. He reached his hand out, touching her hand. Scully took his hand,
and placed it on her stomach.
"I can feel the baby... there are two of them!  You're having twins! *

*This is your daddy. * Scully telepathed to the babies. *He's back with us.
We're no longer alone. *

 "They understand you. How?"

"We're Tomorrow People. All ready, our twins are empathetic. When they are
teens, they'll break out." 

Mulder closed his eyes. He tried to telepath his feelings of love for these
babies. They moved happily as he did. "Miracle babies." 

*****************

"So you really don't remember anything?" Agent John Doggett asked Mulder. 

"No, I don't." Mulder said firmly. This FBI agent was getting on Mulder's
nerves. It was the morning of December 29th. The agent had arrived right
after breakfast. So this was Scully's new partner. Mulder wasn't impressed.

"What about your brain disease?" Doggett asked.

"What brain disease?" Mulder asked.

"Your credit card records state that you went to a clinic for several
consecutive weekends. Do you have an explanation for that?" Doggett asked.

"When?"

Doggett told him. 

"That's impossible." Mulder looked away from Doggett.

"The records state..."

"I don't give a flying fig what the Records State. *I* was no where near the
clinic on those dates."

"Can you prove it?"

Mulder looked at the man. "Ask my witness."

"What witness?"

"Dana Scully. I spent every one of those weekends with her. Unless you can
prove that there is such a thing as teleportation, there is no real way I
could be in two places at the same time." Mulder lay back in the bed. 

"Then where were you?"

"You tell me." Mulder closed his eyes. 

"This evasiveness could cost you your job." Doggett reminded him. "You ran
out on your job. You will be censored for that. You need to reveal
everything that happened to you if you value your career."

"You've worked on the X-Files and you still don't believe in the
paranormal?" Mulder asked. 

"Tell me what happened, and I might."

"I can't tell you!"

"Can't or won't?" Doggett demanded.

"That will be enough!" Skinner said, walking into the hospital room. He was
carrying a bouquet of flowers.  

"Deputy Director Kersh ordered me to interrogate Mulder." Doggett told
Skinner.

"Fine, you interrogated him." Skinner snapped. "Now get the hell out of here."

"But."

"I said get out!" Skinner ordered; flower petals showered the floor. 

"I'll tell Deputy Director Kersh exactly how you blocked this case!" 

"Fine, tell him!"

Doggett looked at both of them, and left the room.

Mulder looked at Skinner. "So your the nice part of the interrogation."

"I don't know what you mean."

"Classic interrogation methods. First a hospital person comes into the room
and tries to interrogate the prisoner. A nice person comes in and talks the
person into giving the truth."

"Not this time." Skinner said firmly. He set the flowers he was carrying on
a table. "I know what happened to you. I know why you disappeared. I was
there, remember?"

"Yes, I remember." Mulder sighed. "What do you need to know?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I've been better." Mulder told him. "I can't tell you what happened to me.
I honestly can't remember what happened."

Title - Lost Memories (3/4)
Story seven In the Doors and Walls Universe
Author - Katrinka

***************

*Did they ever feed you? * Scully asked herself as she looked at her
partner. A quick glance at Mulder's chart had told her that he had lost
forty pounds in his absence.  Mulder had been prescribed lots of good
healthy foods. Scully decided to help by bringing him some of his favorite
things. 

Mulder looked at Scully. "Hey there."

"Brought you some food." Scully smiled. 

That made Mulder perk up. "What kind?"

"Your favorites." She pushed the hospital table to him, and put the parcel
on it. Mulder dug into it. 

"Milk shake." Mulder sounded like a kid at Christmas. He took the wrapping
off of the straw, and put it in the shake. Then he took a long drink. He
sat back, a smile on his face. "Thank god it isn't an ensure shake."

"You don't like those?"

"Doesn't taste like the real thing." Mulder took another slurp. "It tastes
like baby formula."

Scully pulled a face. "Yuck."

Mulder took the rest of the food out of the bag. Double decker hamburger
with the works and a large fries. Mulder put the fries back in the bag, and
stuck them under his blanket. Then he began to work on the burger. 

"You're hiding food Mulder."

"I know. I don't know why I feel like I should, I just do." Mulder sounded
embarrassed.

"It's okay, you might get hungry tonight." She opened the covers, and
picked up the food. When she saw Mulder's panicked look. She quickly said.
"I was going to put them in your bedside drawer."

"You won't tell anyone will you?"

"Of course not!" Scully put the food in the drawer. "I'll bring you more
food for tonight if you want me to."

Mulder looked up to her. *You understand. *

*Your subconscious remembers being hungry. If having some food in your room
makes you feel better, then so be it. * 

"My subconscious remembers. I wonder why I don't remember?" 

"Do you want to remember?"

"No, I don't." Mulder began to eat. "Something horrible happened to me. I
don't want to remember it." 

"Then don't worry about it." Scully tried to reassure.



************


"I have Lamaze class tonight." Scully told Mulder. "Langly's going to visit
you while I'm gone."

"I don't need a babysitter." Mulder pointed out. "I'm an adult."

"I know." Scully lied. The way Mulder was now, he needed someone with him.

"Lamaze class. Are you going alone?"

"No, there'll be someone with me. I have a coach." Scully sounded guilty.

 Byers, Mulder realized. A brief flash went through his mind, of Scully and
Byers together. Each was comforting the other in their pain. He had made
Byers promise that he would take care of Scully, and his friend had. 

Scully turned away from Mulder. "I'm just like Diana."

"Oh god no Scully. You could never be like her." Mulder reached his hand
out, touching Scully on her cheek. He turned her head so that she could see
him. "I didn't know if I would come back, so before I left, I made Byers
promise me that he would take care of you."

"How could you do something like that?"

"Because I love you Dana Scully. The aliens might never have brought me
back. You were alone and pregnant. You needed someone to support you.
Lamaze classes are part of that support."

"So you let Byers take your place." Scully guessed.

"If I did the wrong thing, then I'm sorry."

"Our babies are yours. You know that, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"How could you ever forgive me?" Scully asked.

"Theirs nothing to forgive." Mulder caressed Scully's cheek.

"I never actually made love to him." Scully said. "But he was there for me
when I needed someone." 

"It's okay. I trust you."

 Scully said firmly. "You're the only one I love."
******************

They felt sorry for Scully. The other people at the Lamaze class. The other
students came with their significant others, and all Scully had was Byers.
He was her husband's cousin. At least that's what they told everyone.  

Byers busied himself with putting the mat down. Then he helped her sit down
on the floor. It was getting harder and harder for Scully to sit on the
floor by herself. 

*I feel like a beached whale." Scully telepathed.

*Your beautiful. * Byers told her.

"I wonder if she's really married?" A woman whispered to her partner.

"She probably doesn't even know who the father is." the partner agreed. 

"Ouch." Scully murmured, as one of the babies kicked her in the kidney.

*Let me take care of it. * Byers began to rub the sore spot in the small of
Scully's back. He briefly closed his eyes, and she could feel her friend
telepathing to the baby. Her child settled down.

"Perhaps he's really the father." the man at the next mat whispered. 

"Who knows. Perhaps it's like the movie Home Fries." 

"You mean she was knocked up before they became involved?"  The man didn't
bother to whisper.

Byers put his hand on Scully's shoulder. She could feel him trying hard to
control is anger. 

"What a slut." the woman said.

"For your information, Scully's husband is right now in a hospital room,
recovering from a major illness." Byers said angrily. "My cousin's husband
has been fighting for his life. That's why he's not here now!"

"John." Scully hissed.

"I'm tired of people assuming the worst about you Dana. You have a husband
that loves you very much." Byers said looking at the woman. "He just can't
be here."

"We're sorry." The woman said. 
**************

"So what did I miss in the past year?" Mulder asked Frohike and Langly.
They had turned a game on. Mulder spent most of the evening pretending to
watch the television, when instead he was worried about Scully.

"You mean in the news?" Langly said slowly.

"Well, whose this Doggett guy?"

"Scully's new partner. He seems to be all right." Frohike shrugged. 

*New partner, am I that easy to replace? * Mulder thought.

"Scully's still with the X-Files." Langly pointed out.

"That's good." Mulder began to brood.

"The Martians came down to Earth and replaced everyone with pod people."
Frohike told him. 

"That's nice." Mulder tried to push the jealousy he felt for Byers out of
his mind.

"What's wrong?" Langly asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not listening to us."

"Sure I am."

"I just told you that the Martians invaded Earth, and you agreed." Frohike
said.

"Oh okay." 

"So what's bothering you?"

"You wouldn't understand." 

"Is it the thought of loosing six months out of your life, or the thought
of Scully being with Byers?" Langly asked.

"What do you mean, be with?"

"We share an apartment with Byers. In the past six months he's spent half
the time at Scully's place." Frohike looked very serious. "It doesn't take
a telepath to know that Byers is in love with your wife."

"Their friends." Mulder repeated.

"We don't know that." Langly said.

"Two weeks after your abduction, Byers closed his mind to us." Frohike told
Mulder.

Mulder looked at Frohike. "That is serious."

"The three of us had a good, loving relationship until you were taken."
Langly continued. 

"Now he closes his mind to us, and spends all his time with Scully."
Frohike added. "Scully's too hot for Byers to ignore."

"What about the work at the paper? Does Byers still go into work?" Mulder
asked.

"That's different. That's work." Langly pointed out.

"Something's up with the two of them. He even brought Scully to our
Christmas celebration." Frohike sulked. "I couldn't go skyclad."

"Theirs nothing to worry about. Byers and Scully are friends, nothing
else." Mulder told his friends, though in the back of his mind, the seeds
of doubt had been planted.

***************

"I brought you some clothes." Scully said. It was New Years Eve.

"Thanks." Mulder got out of bed, and took the bag from his partner. "I
can't wait to get home."

"Speaking of home. I had to let your apartment go. Your lease was up, and I
couldn't sign a new one for you."  She sounded guilty.

"My home's with you. It doesn't matter where that home is." his hazel eyes
were sensor. 

"It will have to be my apartment." 

"Your apartment is nice." Mulder looked around, he had hinted as much as he
could to get Scully to leave, but his partner hadn't moved. "I need to
change."

"GO ahead."

*Oh my god, she expects me to dress in front of her! * Mulder thought. The
idea of changing in front of his partner terrified him. 

"I'll be right back." Mulder went into the bathroom. He shut and locked the
door. Then he took off his hospital gown. He ran his hands over the scars
that peppered his too thin chest. 

*I used to have muscles once. *

*I used to be proud of my appearance. * He thought as he smoothed his long
hair off his face.

*What happened to me? *

*Why can't I remember? *

Mulder put on the shirt Scully had brought for him. It hung on him, being
way too big. He looked at himself in the mirror. His cheeks sunken, his
eyes now too large for his face. 

*I look like a death camp survivor. * His fingers ran over the scars on his
jawbone. He thanked the gods for the beard that covered them. *Oh god, what
happened to me? *

Mulder took his jeans out of the bag. It was the pair that had been so
tight, that he had wanted to throw them away. He put them on. The jeans
were so large that he would need a belt so they wouldn't fall down. He
reached into the bag. Thankfully he found a belt. He recognized it as one
of Scully's. Before it would have been too small for him. He put it on, and
pulled it tightly. Then he fastened it. 

*Scully's safe. *

*What ever I went through is worth it. *

*I didn't expect to come back and find her with Byers. *

"What's so special about him? *

He came back a few minutes later, dressed. His clothes were baggy on him.
Even the pair of too-tight jeans was way too big. 

"It's good to see you wearing normal clothes." Scully told Mulder.

"It's good to be in them." Mulder tried to smile. "Can I touch the babies
again?"

Scully took his hand, and placed it on her stomach. "You're their father.
You don't have to ask permission." 

Title - Lost Memories (4/5)
Story seven In the Doors and Walls Universe
Author - Katrinka

*************************

*I hate New Years* Fox Mulder told himself. 

New Years Eve. Mulder and Scully made any special plans for the holiday.
Scully had bought some faux Champaign. Mulder sat in front of the
television watching a basketball game. He had been upset since Scully had
left for the Lamaze class. He had gone over and over in his mind Scully
being with Byers. He decided that she would have had to go on with her life. 

"What do you want to do tonight?" Scully asked.

"Watch some games." Mulder said morosely. "If you have plans with Byers, go
ahead."

"Why would I have plans with Byers?" Scully asked puzzled.

"Because you have a life." Mulder's voice cracked. "It's okay, I know about
you and Byers."

"We're friends." Scully sat beside him. 

"Your more then friends. Frohike told me that Byers has been living with you."

"As a friend, nothing else."

*I won't get upset. I won't. * Mulder thought as tears stung his eyes. "You
and I both know that you can be heavily involved with someone without
having sex. Just look at our relationship." 

"Our relationship is different."

"Of course it is. How long did you wait to become involved with Byers? Did
you become involved at once, or did you wait a whole week?" Mulder accused.
"Is he better in bed then I am?"

"How dare you? How dare you accuse me of cheating on you." Scully said,
fire in her eyes.

"It's true, you did." The walls broke, the emotions flowed out of Mulder,
and he began to sob. Scully tried to pull him close, but he jerked away,
"You bitch."

Scully grabbed his hand. She pressed it against her cheek; he could feel
the tears beneath his hand. "Read me Mulder."

"You could hide your memories from me."

Scully lowered all her walls. *I've opened everything to you. Read me! *

Mulder invaded Scully's mind. He could feel Scully gasp in pain. He was as
harsh as he could be, sifting through her memories. He could find nothing
in Scully's memories except for a friendship with Byers. Best friends, but
nothing else. 

The memories came back to him like a flood. When the aliens operated on
him, they never gave him sedatives, they wanted to see if Mulder felt the
same amount of pain as a regular human.
 The aliens had probed his mind again and again. , To see if he suffered
pain differently then regular humans. His hand left Scully's face, his mind
pulled out of hers.  Mulder could hear Scully crying from the mental pain. 

Mulder curled into a ball and began to sob. "I'm like them, oh gods I'm
like them."

More memories came, of Mulder being starved, and feed only enough to keep
him alive. The aliens wanted to see if a Tomorrow Person subsisted on the
same amount of food. 

Mulder's mind probe had hurt Scully. She sat on her end of the couch
crying. "I'm like them. Oh god, I'm like them. How could I hurt my wife?"
Mulder chanted as a mantra. 

*You're not like them." Scully told him. 

"I am! I'm evil!"

*You're not evil. You were hurt badly by the aliens. * Scully said softly
in his mind. *Remembering will confuse you. * 

"I don't want to remember." Mulder sobbed. "It hurts too much."

*You have to remember. * Scully knelt in front of Mulder. She put her hands
on both sides of his face, and opened her mind to him. "You have to trust
again."

*I'll hurt you. * Mulder said inside of her mind.

*You won't. I trust you. *

*You trust me. After all this, you trust me. * Mulder murmured.

*I'll always trust you. * She promised. *I love you. *

Mulder lowered his barriers to Scully. She could feel his pain as if it
were her own. She could feel the lost memories that had returned to him.
The memories that terrified her partner. 

*Heal me. * Mulder pleaded. 

*I don't know how. * Scully confessed. 

*Your being here is help enough. You keep me sane. *

For once, Scully decided to listen to her heart. She pulled Mulder onto the
floor with her. She kissed his lips. Then Scully held Mulder close as he
cried. 

**************
"Do you think I should shave my beard?" Mulder asked Scully. They sat on
Scully's couch, watching TV. It was only a few minutes before midnight. The
pain of earlier in the day had gone, replaced by the happiness of total
acceptance. 

"No, you look like Pete Townshend this way."

"Oh god." Mulder moaned. "Not that guy in the Who."

"I think he's sexy."

"You would." Mulder groaned. "When I was in high school, everyone said I
looked like him."

"And what's wrong with him?" Scully teased lightly. "I've got a thing for
distinguished profiles."

"You mean big noses, Lady." 

Scully reached out, running a finger down Mulder's nose. "You know what
they say, big nose, big penis."

"I thought it was hands."

"It fits doesn't it?" Scully had a cat that ate the cream look. "You are
big in *several* places." 

Mulder put his arm around Scully. He could feel her shift slightly, so that
she was pressed against his side. This was a first for them. Before, they
had kept a good distance from each other, even alone. Now Mulder felt it
was time. Scully moved her hand, so it was lying on his thin leg. Mulder
looked down to the hand. Scully's wedding ring was now on her left hand. 

"Lady, you changed the hand your ring is on."

"I thought it was time." Scully said softly. 

"Won't you get in trouble wearing it that way?"

"I'm not ashamed to be married to you."

The phone on the end table rang. Mulder picked it up. "Hello?"

"Byers? Is that you?" A woman asked.

"No, it isn't."

"Who is this?" the woman asked.

"This is Fox Mulder. Can I help you?"

"Mulder? Where have you been?" the woman demanded. "You left Scully alone
for six months!"

"Who is this?" Mulder asked.

"Maggie Scully. I want to talk to my daughter, now!"

"Sure thing." Mulder handed the phone to Scully. "It's for you."

"Hi Mom." Scully said.

"Dana, someone calling himself Mulder answered the phone." Scully had
turned the phone receiver so that Mulder could hear the conversation.


"It was Mulder." Scully reached out, and took Mulder's hand. "He's come back."

"Where was he?" Scully's mother demanded. 

"That's a little hard to explain." 

"I'm coming over tomorrow. You can explain it to us then."

"Us?"

"Bill's here for a visit. He'll want to talk to Mulder too." Her mother
told her.

"You don't need to do that Mom." Scully began.

"We'll be at your apartment at ten am. I suggest Mulder be there." Maggie
hung up the phone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make your mother so angry." Mulder said as he
hung up the phone. 

*************


"I wish I could take you someplace special." Mulder told Scully. "Our first
New Years, and I'm like death warmed over." 

Scully sat beside Mulder on the couch. They were watching the Iron Chef
Millenium battle to cap off New Years. It was subtitled. Scully was
cuddling against Mulder as they watch it. "Being with you is enough for
tonight." 

"Yeah, but I wish we could do something." Mulder moped. "You're my wife. I
want to show you off."

"You have fifty more years to show off." Scully smiled. 

"Fifty? You'd think we'll be married that long?" Mulder said with a bit of
a smile. 

"Perhaps sixty years. I'm not sure, but I do know it will be the rest of my
life." Scully looked down to her growing stomach. "It will be nicer next
year. I won't look like a beached whale."

"You don't look like a beached whale." Mulder reached out, touching
Scully's stomach. The babies shifted under the touch. "Your very beautiful
Lady."

"Sometimes I don't feel beautiful. Sometimes I feel extremely fat and ugly."

"You're not ugly, and you're not fat. It's the babies." Mulder said
stroking her stomach. 

"Well, it's twenty till midnight. What do you want to do?"

"Rub your stomach for luck?" He tried to kid. When he saw her thinly veiled
anger Mulder quickly said. "Let's dance."

"Dance?" 

"We'll put on some soft music and dance." Mulder suggested. "Right here."

"I heard there was a radio channel playing romantic songs as they count
down the New Year." Scully said with a smile. 

"What channel?"

Scully told him as she turned off the television. 

Mulder smiled. He got to his feet, and went to the stereo. He found the
station that played the romantic music. Then he walked to Scully; he
offered her his hand. "Dance with me Lady."

Scully took his hand, and Mulder helped her to her feet.  Scully was big,
she was large. She didn't know how they would dance with her size.  Mulder
took her into his arms. She still fit in her partner's arms. 

Mulder began to sing along with the music, his baritone voice soothing
Scully. She closed her eyes and let Mulder take the lead. She could hear
the sound of his heartbeat through his shirt. She had dreamt of dancing
with Mulder again. In all the months of his abduction, she had comforted
herself with the memories of their dancing together. 

They swayed together until the count began. Mulder pulled away from her a
bit. He reached out, touching her cheek. It suddenly struck Scully that
Mulder was still hansom, even after everything he went through. 

As the announcer announced the New Years. Mulder told her. "Happy New
Years, Lady."

"Happy New Years." Scully smiled.

Mulder kissed Scully. It was a kiss full or regret and longing. Then he was
holding Scully in his arms again. Her head tucked under his chin. "If I
wasn't falling down exhausted, I would jump you right now."

"We have plenty of time." Scully told Mulder. 

"All the time in the world." Mulder pulled away from Scully and kissed her
again.

Title - Lost Memories (5/5)
Story seven In the Doors and Walls Universe
Author - Katrinka

***********
Mulder was lying on their bed, Scully beside him. It was New Year day. He
ran his fingers across her stomach. He couldn't get enough of touching the
babies. She was dressed in a maternity nightgown; he was still dressed in
the clothes he came home in. 

"Mulder, you need to change." Scully told him gently. "Mother's going to be
here, and I want her to see you in clean clothes."

"Not yet." 

"Why not?"

"My scars, I can't bare to see them." He said softly. "Their horrible."

"You helped me regain my memories after the implant was removed." Scully
said. "Perhaps I could help you deal with your scars."

"I don't want to frighten you."

"I'm a doctor. You won't scare me."  Scully tried to smile. "Take off your
shirt."

With trembling fingers, Mulder took unfastened his shirt. Then he took it
off. He looked down to his chest. A pink scar ran from his breastbone to
his stomach. A white scar crossed his stomach. Reddish scars ran up his
sides. "I don't...I don't know how I got these scars."

"Did you know something would happen to you before you went to Oregon?"
Scully asked.

"I knew I would be adducted." Mulder admitted. "I also knew that my
adduction would save your life. So it was worth the risk."

"You could have died."

"It was worth it if it saved your life." Mulder reached out, smoothing the
hair from her face. "I couldn't live if I knew I could have prevented your
kidnapping."

Scully reached out, putting her hand on his cheek. "You saved me. You saved
our children. Thank you."

"I know I'm no longer desirable." 

"I love you Fox Mulder." Scully put her arms around him, and kissed him
gently. "Your battle scars only make me desire you more."

Scully pulled away from Mulder a bit, and kissed one of his scars. 

"You don't have to do that." Mulder murmured.

"I know I don't." Scully's lips trailed their way across the scar on
Mulder's neck. 

Gentle kisses, Scully was placing gentle feather soft kisses on Mulder's
scars. As much as Mulder didn't want to admit it, the kisses felt good.
Somewhere in his subconscious he had missed Scully desperately. 

*My wife. * Mulder thought. *Can she forgive me after all this? *

"There's nothing to forgive." Scully said, as she began to kiss the scars
on the nape of Mulder's neck. 

"I knowingly left you. You would have every right to leave me."

"You left so our children could be protected. How can I hate you for that?"
Scully's lips began to work on the scars on Mulder's chest. Mulder brought
a hand up to touch the back of Scully's head. 

"I can remember a few things." Mulder admitted. "I can remember missing
you. My soul ached for you."

"You don't have to tell me." Scully said gently.


Mulder watched Scully kiss the scars on his chest. It was erotic the way
she would lick her lips, then run them across a scar. Mulder felt himself
harden at the sight. He wanted Scully, badly.


*My favorite place used to be inside you. * Mulder thought. *Now I can't
because your pregnant. *

*Pregnant woman can make love. * Scully told him with a smile.

*I could hurt the babies. *

*YOU won't. I'll show you how not to. * 

*How would you know? * Mulder asked. 

"It's in one of my motherhood magazines." Scully smiled as she kissed a scar.

The doorbell rang.

"Shit." Mulder cursed, he glanced the clock. "Ten o'clock, on the dot."

Scully got off the bed, and grabbed her robe. "I'll answer the door. You
change into something clean."

*********************

"Where is he?" Bill Scully demanded as he walked into Scully's apartment. 

"Hello Bill, how are you?" Scully said, ignoring her brother's rudeness.
Bill went into the spare bedroom. Scully could hear furniture being moved. 

"How are you feeling?" Maggie Scully asked her daughter.

"I feel great." Scully tried to smile. It was difficult, since her brother
was searching the apartment. 

"Where the hell is that bastard hiding?" Bill demanded.

*Where are you? * Scully telepathed.

*I'm in the bathroom. * Mulder telepathed.

*You need to come here. *

*Bill'll punch me. *

Bill found the bathroom door, and began to pound on in. "Open the door
Mulder!"

Mulder came out of the bedroom. He walked past Bill, and into the living
room. "Hello Mrs. Scully."

"Mulder, how are you?" Maggie Scully asked concerned.

"I've been better." Mulder tried to smile. 

"My god, what happened to you?" Bill demanded.

"It's a long story." Mulder walked towards Scully. 

Bill Mulder grabbed Mulder by the shoulders and shoved him against the
wall. Mulder tried to fight back, but he was still too weak. "You're going
to pay for running out on my sister!"

"I didn't run out on her!" Mulder insisted.

The punch came out of no where, connecting with Mulder's face. "Dana might
forgive you, but I won't."

"Leave him alone!" Maggie ordered.

Bill swung back to hit Mulder again. Mulder grabbed his fist, and with all
his concentration made Bill stumble backwards. "You better do what your
mother says."


Bill grabbed Mulder by the arm; he shoved Mulder's shirtsleeve up. "Needle
marks. Tell me, what have you been shooting up?"

"Nothing!" Mulder tried to pull away from Bill, but the man was too strong.
"Leave me alone."

"Stop it!" Scully demanded. "Leave Mulder alone."

"Mulder ran out on you. You deserve some answers."

"I have answers!" Scully said firmly. "I know what happened to Mulder."

"What happened darling?" Ms. Scully asked.

"Mulder was taken by the same people that took me."

"That's a bunch of bullshit." Bill swore. "Mulder ran out on his
responsibility. You're just trying to cover for him."

"Then tell me, why did Mulder have to spend several days in the hospital?"

"He was trying to recover from an over dose." Bill spat. 

Mulder looked down to Bill's hand. He concentrated, and the hand was
released. "I am not a drug addict."

"Most addicts deny their addiction." Bill said coolly. "Look how much
weight you lost. The only thing you've fed is your habit!"

There was only one way for Mulder to prove what happened to him. He began
to unbutton his shirt. 

"Mulder, no!" Scully gasped.

*It's okay. * Mulder unbuttoned his shirt, and took it off. "I was given
the choice. Scully and the babies or me. Even you can admit that scars like
these aren't made by a drug addiction."

"Who took you?" Bill asked, Mulder could feel that the man was beginning to
believe him. 

"I'm not sure." Mulder confessed. 

"What about Dana? Now that you're back, will you take responsibility for
the twins?" Maggie asked. 

"Of course I will." Mulder picked up his shirt and put it back on. 

"Have you thought about getting married?" 

Mulder glanced at Scully. *What should we tell them? *

*The truth. * Scully looked at her mother. "I married Mulder on April 30th."

"You didn't tell us?" Bill screamed. "Don't you think we had a right to
know? We're you family."

"Bill, calm down!" Ms. Scully ordered. "I'm sure Dana had a perfectly good
reason for not telling us."

"It was something I wanted to tell you with Mulder."

"It's frowned on for partners in the FBI to be married." Mulder tried to
explain. "I didn't want Scully to loose you job because of our relationship."

*******************

"You need a hair cut." Scully told Mulder after her family had left.

"I don't know, I like long hair." Mulder teased. 

Scully pulled a loveseat into the kitchen. That was one piece of furniture
that Mulder always loved Scully's beat up love seat. She looked at him,
determination in her eyes. "Sit down." 

Mulder did as he was told.  "What are you going to do?"

Scully opened up a drawer, and took out a pair of scissors. "I'm going to
cut your hair."

"Humm, Scully. I think I might want to go to a hairdresser for that."
Mulder tried to keep the panic out of his voice. Aliens' experimenting on
him was one thing, but Scully cutting his hair was something completely
different. 

"You don't trust me?" Scully had a lilt to her voice.

"You might be a wonderful doctor, but a hair dresser?" Mulder asked
skeptically.

Scully straddled Mulder's legs. She began to run her fingers through
Mulder's hair. "I earned extra money in college by cutting hair. I didn't
tell you that?"


Mulder could smell the scent of Scully's perfume. Her fingers against his
skin were enough to drive him to distraction. Until his return, Mulder
hadn't realized how sexy a pregnant woman could be.   "Tell you what. I'll
let you cut my hair, if you let me have my wicked way with you."

Scully shifted slightly as she began to cut his hair. "You've got a deal." 

 Mulder sat, in anticipation, watching his partner cutting his hair. Every
cut made Scully shift a bit.  Lock after lock fell onto his face. With a
flick of her fingers, Scully brushed the locks off of his face. 

 Each time Scully made a cut, her crotch rubbed against his groin. Thrust,
thrust. Mulder felt the blood rush to his midsection.  *Jesus, she's dry
humping me." Scully's breasts had filled out nicely, giving her the extra
push that she needed.  Mulder reached out, and cupped one of Scully's
breasts. 

"We need to be careful," Scully whispered. "I might leak."

"You have milk all ready?"

"Just a tiny bit." Scully moaned as Mulder pinched her nipple. The scissors
that Scully had been holding fell to the ground with a clank.

"You like?"

"I want you to fuck me. I want you to ram your cock inside of me and show
the world I'm yours." Scully said in a rush. She turned away from Mulder,
not before her partner could see her red cheeks. "I'm a pregnant woman who
hasn't gotten it for months." 

"I once read that hormones makes pregnant woman horny." Mulder squeezed her
nipple again. "Course I'm not pregnant, but I'm horny all the time." 

"That's because you're a sex manic." 

"Only when I'm with you." Mulder unbuttoned Scully's shirt. Then with a
flick, he opened her bra. His lips descended onto the nipple that was dark
from pregnancy. His hand went to the other nipple and began to pinch it. 

Scully laid a hand on top of Mulder's head, encouraging him. She began to
rub her groin against Mulder's leg with sharp thrusts. 

"Please, Mulder."

"Please what?"

In answer, Scully touched something on the side of the love seat. Mulder
could feel his legs go upward, and his torso tip backwards. So this was why
Scully wanted to use this one, it doubled as a recliner. Scully pulled away
from Mulder, she got off of his lap, and took off her pants.  Then her
hands went to Mulder's groin, unfastening his pants, taking his hardness out. 

Then Scully was on top of Mulder; he could feel a warm tightness descend
onto his penis. Mulder brought his hands to Scully's nipples and began to
pinch them again. Scully began to ride him with pent up frustrations. 

*You're mine, Scully. * Mulder telepathed. *I want to tape this, and show
the world your mine. *

That brought Scully over the edge. Scully came, crying Mulder's name. As
Scully's channel clenched and unclenched around him, he found himself coming. 


I never thought you would be so beautiful." Mulder told her. "You are very
beautiful, Scully."

"Your not so bad yourself, Mr. Mulder." Scully smiled.

"I love you Dr. Mulder." 

"I love you too, Mr. Scully." Scully said she kissed Mulder. She snuggled
beside Mulder, who had made room for her on the small love seat. 

"Mr. Scully, I like that." Mulder murmured as sleep overcame him. "Love you
Scully." For a brief moment, Fox Mulder was happy with the world. What the
aliens did to him no longer mattered, for he was home.








Katrinka@flash.net
flying panthist
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 Death can not stop true love, 
it can only delay it for awhile!
The Princess Bride

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is rarely pure...
and never simple! 
Oscar Wilde


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