Title: New Beginning
Author: Kyoko Godaikun
Disclaimer: I don’t own Domoto Koichi or Domoto Tsuyoshi. They own each other.
Warning: This story contains Bishonnen Ai. Do not read if you are offended by Male/male love
Warning two: This story discusses non-consensual sexual abuse and violence. Do not read if you are offended by this
Archiving: The only place that has permission to archive this story is Katrinka’s page. No one else may archive this without the express permission of the author!
Time: Summer 1996
Domoto Tsuyoshi was cleaning the main room of the senior
dorms. It was a fairly easy job. He
didn't mind. He thought of it as keeping himself useful. So when everyone else
was enjoying the Saturday afternoon, he was working. He ha
"Are you sure you don't want me to help?" Okada Junichi asked from a table in the corner.
"It's okay, finish your homework." He gave a
half smile. He could see himself in
Okada. Perhaps it was because they both where from the Kinki region. They could
speak to each other, and no one woul
"Why do you do this everyday?" The teenager
asked. He had all of his school books out on the table. Because of his busy
schedule he ha
"When you get my age, you'll understand." Tsuyoshi went to the next table. There wasn't as much trash on it. Just a few paper towels and a plate was on it.
"You're not old! You're only a year and a half older then me!' The teenager insisted.
Tsuyoshi gave another smile. His friend still didn't
realize an idol ha
"You know, if you don't get back to work, you'll never be able to have some free time." Tsuyoshi teased.
"You sound just like Yuki-chan. I mean Sakamoto." Okada corrected quickly.
Tsuyoshi gave another smile. He knew that Okada had a huge crush on his V6 leader. "See, you should listen to your sempai's."
"Yes sir." Okada went back to his homework.
His fellow Kinki Kid came into the room. Even on a Saturday afternoon, Koichi was impeccably dressed. His casual clothes made him look like a male model. Koichi had always taken pride in his looks. The Kinki Kids where one of the top groups in the agency. Tsuyoshi knew that most of their popularity rested on his handsome friend's shoulders.
Koichi gave his partner the look, as he thought of it. The look was a long lingering sweep of his body. One that made him feel as if he was nude. "How's the cleaning coming?"
"Great." He nodded at Okada. The young man was
his friend, but he knew he couldn't trust him fully. He ha
Koichi gave him a half smile. "Tsuyoshi, can you help me check the rice?"
"I'm busy." It was a game they played. Koichi
was in charge of the rice, but that was an extremely easy chore. His need of
help was more about the nee
"There are bags and bags of rice. I'll need some help." Koichi paused. "Please."
"I could use a break." Tsuyoshi smiled. He got
to his feet and walke
*Why can't he leave well enough alone?* He asked himself.
A few seconds later, Koichi followed. He joine
Koichi grabbed Tsuyoshi and shoved him against the sacks of rice. He began to kiss him passionately.
His lips left his friend's, and he began to nuzzle his
neck. "I've neede
"So have I." Tsuyoshi dug his fingers into his friend's hair.
"Tsu-chan, I want to make love to you." Koichi rubbed himself against Tsuyoshi. Through his thin shorts, he could feel Koichi's hardness.
Tsuyoshi pulled away from Koichi. He turned his back to him. “This is against the rules."
"If we love each other, what do the rules matter?" he asked. "We've been sneaking around for a long time. Don't you want to be my lover?"
"Of course I do!"
"Then why don't we?" Koichi put his arms around Tsuyoshi's waist, his hand reached around caressing the younger man's hardness. Tsuyoshi moaned, and pushed himself against his friend. "I'm tired of waiting."
It took all of Tsuyoshi's will to break away from Koichi. "If we're caught, I’ll be forbidden to see you. I can't loose you!"
"No one's here. We won't get caught." Koichi put his arms back around Tsuyoshi.
"Okada watched us come in here." Tsuyoshi reminded him. "He's the Manager's spy. We'll get in trouble."
"You're right." Koichi grudgingly agreed.
Tsuyoshi made up his mind. "I do want you to make love to me."
"Why don't we tonight? After curfew come to my bed." Koichi let go of him. "I just wish we could really be going together."
"We are." Tsuyoshi turned back around. This time it was Tsuyoshi's turn to kiss his friend. It took all his self control not to pull his partner to the floor. He wanted Koichi as much as his friend wanted him.
"I want to be your boyfriend. A real boyfrien
"I don't like this way either."
"I wish we could be true roommates. I want to wake up in your bed." Koichi confessed. "I want to take you out, and show you off as mine."
"I want to give you something." Tsuyoshi took a ring off his finger. "As long as you wear this, we will be together."
Koichi let Tsuyoshi slip the ring on. "It's like it was meant to be there."
"Just like I was meant to be at your side."
"I want you to have this." Koichi took off one of his rings. He put it on his lover's right index finger. "I'll always protect you."
Tsuyoshi could hear Katori Shingo yelling for him. "I
forgot, I was suppose
Koichi nodded. "It's okay, go to him."
"Are you sure?"
Tsuyoshi left the pantry. He looked back to his friend. "I love you."
Koichi's smile faded. "Hurry up. We can't be foun
"Ko-chan, I've been looking for you." Koichi heard Mabo say as soon as he left the pantry. "I need your help."
Mabo grabbed Koichi and pulled him into the pantry. He
could hear the door slam, then lock. The man shoved Koichi against the stack of
rice bags. The taller man unbuckled his pants, and unzippe
"What are you doing?" Koichi demanded.
Mabo grabbed Koichi's chin in a clamp, and squeeze
"You didn't say that yesterday. Didn't you like what we did?" Mabo sneered.
"What we've been doing is wrong." Koichi said firmly. "It won't happen again."
"Why? What's changed?"
"I'm in love with Tsuyoshi. I won't cheat on him anymore." Koichi decided. "I'm leaving. Don't come after me."
"You really think telling me your in love with someone will make you stop seeing me?" The drummer gave him another hard shove. Mabo put his hand inside of Koichi's shorts, manipulating his penis. "You're hard. You know you want me."
"I don't want you!"
"Remember my promise. If you stop our little meetings, I'll tell your precious Tsuyoshi on you." Mabo threatened. "Then you won't have me, and you won't have Tsuyoshi."
"You wouldn’t' do that."
"Have you forgotten the evidence I have against
you?" he continued. "I'll tell the Manager about your sleeping
around. He won't be please
Koichi knew exactly what would happen. The manager would
call for Tsuyoshi, and his friend would be severely punished. There was even a chance that Tsuyoshi could
become the new favorite. He ha
"I knew a slut like you could see reason." He could hear Mabo opening the container of lube. A few seconds later, the drummer pushed his way into Koichi. He grabbed a handful of the younger man's hair and began to thrust hard.
"Let go of my hair!" Koichi gasped.
"Shut up!" Mabo gave a hard yank on his hair. "You do what I say, not the other way around."
"I want you tonight."
"After curfew, I'll meet you in the bathroom." With that, the drummer left.
Koichi pulled his shorts back up. He looked down to Tsuyoshi's ring. His best friend wanted a commitment. *What would you say if you knew about this?*
Koichi walked past Shingo's bedroom, the door was open. In the half light he could see Tsuyoshi on top of Shingo. His shirt was off, and he was straddling the tall man's legs. Half of his body was covered. The larger man moaned every time he moved.
"That's good," Shingo groaned.
"Do you like it like this?" Tsuyoshi's voice was deeper then usual. . His fingers touching a place on Shingo's back. As he did, his hips moved into him.
*I don't believe this!* Koichi thought, a wave of jealousy swept over him. *Tsuyoshi's making love to him!*
Tsuyoshi turned and looked at Koichi. His eyes were dark with passion. He stopped what he was doing.
"Tsuyoshi, don't stop." Shingo moaned. "It feels so good."
"Ko-chan, what are you doing here?" Tsuyoshi asked.
The taller man turned his hea
Without saying anything, Koichi turned and left. He needed some time alone, to think. He walked without thinking, the anger of finding Tsuyoshi with Shingo. He felt betrayed. The man he thought of as a pure prince was just like him.
Koichi found himself in the yard behin
*You said you where a virgin.* he thought. *You lie
A few minutes passed. He could hear the back door open then shut. Then Tsuyoshi said. "So that's where you went."
He didn't look at his friend. "I wasn't lost."
Tsuyoshi sat down on the bench beside him. "What are you doing out here?"
"I'm thinking." he wipe
"It's really nice out here."
"Not its not." he lied. His friend was right, it was nice.
Tsuyoshi reached out, taking his hand. Koichi snatched it away. His partner looked at him confused. "What's wrong?"
"I thought you would stay with Shingo tonight."
"Why on earth would I do that?" He sounde
"I saw the two of you together!" the words caught in his throat. "You’re a whore, a slut!"
Tsuyoshi flinched. "I've been true to you."
"Sure you have. Tell me, do you go straight to someone every time we're finished?" He accused. "I know your doing it with other people!"
Tsuyoshi looked like he was going to cry. “How could you believe I'd cheat on you?"
"When you go out, do you give hea
"I love you! How can you think that about me?" He gasped. "I'm a virgin!"
"I changed so I could be with you!" Koichi yelled. "If you wanted me to change, why didn't you? Why couldn't you stop sleeping with others?"
"I've never cheated on you!" a tear rolled down Tsuyoshi's cheek. "You're the only one in my life!"
"Stop lying!" He slapped Tsuyoshi hard across the face. "We're over! Do you understand me? Over!"
Koichi got to his feet, and stormed off.
*Why does it hurt so much?*
"Why did I have to fall in love with you?" He
He looked at the ring on his finger. Koichi's ring. "You gave me your ring. I thought that meant you trusted me."
Tsuyoshi could hear the sound of someone moving around
outside the gym. He hoped it was Koichi. He could see in his mind's eye, his
Then Tsuyoshi could hear the unmistakable sound of someone dragging a large piece of exercise equipment to the middle of the floor. Tsuyoshi looked up. Shingo had moved something that looked like a tackling dummy into the gym. He gave the dummy an experimental kick. Satisfied, he began to practice his high kicks. Tsuyoshi watched as the Smap member practiced his karate.
Once, when Smap had first been formed, Shingo had been
picked on by just about everyone. Small,
young, Shingo had been an easy target for bullies. That was, until he took up
karate. Now he was a very tall man with
a black belt. It didn't help that Shingo had a ba
After quite some time, Shingo finally realized Tsuyoshi was watching him. He went to his side. "What are you doing here?"
Shingo put a finger under his chin, an
"We're partners in Kinki Kids, nothing else." Koichi told him.
"You’re lying. Every time you look at him, I know you love him." Shingo's eyes turned hard. "You're my friend. My brother. I can tell when something's going on. So what did he do?"
"He says he saw the two of us making love."
"He didn't believe that you only gave me a back rub?" Shingo asked. "You had your pants on. Didn't he see that?"
"I suppose he didn't."
"Koichi is an idiot."
"He won't believe I'm a virgin." Tsuyoshi confessed. The tears returned. "He called me a whore, a slut. He says I sell myself. Why would he call me those things?"
"Because that's what he is!" Shingo pulled his friend into his arms. "Everyone in the agency knows that if you need sex you go to Koichi. He'll let anyone do anything to him."
"Koichi's changed. He's not like that anymore."
"He only di
"I can't believe I trusted him." Tsuyoshi's remaining walls came down. He began to sob. His friend stroked his hair, promising Koichi would never hurt him again.
Koichi walked. He spent most of the evening walking. With
every step, he trie
He looked at Tsuyoshi's ring. "Why would you give me your ring if you weren't going to be true to me?"
It was close to curfew. Koichi would have to go back to the dorms. If he didn't, the manager would probably send people out looking for him.
*I don't want to go back.* Koichi realized. *I nee
Koichi all ready had a hiding spot. It was a small
gardening closet that was attache
Seeing Tsuyoshi with Shingo had hurt Koichi. Now that he
was calmer he realized he was a hypocrite. Koichi had held Tsuyoshi up to a
Suddenly the door to the shed opened. "So that's where you're hiding!" Shingo yelled. He grabbed Koichi by his shirt, and pulled him into the yard. "He loves you? Do you know that?"
"Who loves me?" Koichi asked confused.
"Tsuyoshi! He would give his life for yours! You repay him by breaking his heart?!" The high kick came out of no where. Shingo's foot slammed into Koichi's nose. He could hear the bone breaking. Then the blood began to flow. Koichi found himself falling. He landed on his arm, he could hear something pop. Then there was an almost indescribable pain in his arm.
"What are you doing?" Koichi pulled his arm
close to him. He didn't fight back. The pain from his injuries kept him from
fighting. Besides, Shingo ha
"No one breaks my friend's heart and gets away with it." Shingo kicked him hard in the ribs. "Do you really think he's like you? He's not a slut!"
Koichi cried out in pain. Then he gasped. "I'm not a slut."
"Then tell me three people in the dorms you haven't slept with! I don't mean juniors either!" Another kick, then there was as horrible pain in Koichi's side.
Koichi didn't say anything. He curled up in a ball. He hoped beyond hope that Shingo would stop hurting him.
Shingo grabbed Koichi's shirt, and pulled him to his feet. "You don't deserve him. Unlike you, Tsuyoshi wouldn't cheat."
"I don't cheat on Tsuyoshi. I've changed."
"You've really changed?" Shingo said sarcastically. "I use the practice rooms to study my lines for dramas. About twice a week you and Mabo use one of the rooms."
"We're just working on a song."
"Tsuyoshi might believe that, but I won't!" Shingo thundered. "Yesterday the two of you started undressing each other before you even went into the room."
"I've only strayed a few times." Koichi said. "I'm true to Tsuyoshi."
"If you where true to him, you wouldn't stray!" Shingo kicked him again. "How is Tsuyoshi going to feel once he finds out you cheated on him?"
"If you’re going to kill me, get it over with. I deserve it." the blood kept flowing.
"You're going to find Tsu-chan. You're going to apologize to him. Then you're going to leave him alone!" Shingo ordered.
"What will happen if I don't?"
"I'll turn you into our manager myself! I'll tell him how you've whored yourself. How you slept with others, including me, when you where his favorite!" Shingo threatened. "Now do what you’re told!"
Koichi found Tsuyoshi in the gym. His best friend was
sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest. He was staring at the
floor. Koichi went to him, close but not
touching. Koichi's body was beyond hurting.
But the pain didn’t matter. He ha
"Tsu-chan." Koichi began. His voice sounded strange, what with the towel pressed against his nose. His side ached, and his arm. His arm hurt too much to move. He hugged it close to his body.
"I want to be alone." his friend said quietly.
Instead of leaving, the older man sat down behind him. He
didn't want his frien
"There's nothing to be jealous of. You don't own me." Tsuyoshi said coldly.
"I know." Koichi couldn't help but notice the towel was soaked with blood. "I thought our relationship was special."
"It's over between us."
"I'm sorry." Koichi took a handkerchief out of his pocket and pressed it against his nose. It wouldn't stop bleeding. He never had a nose bleed as bad as this one. The nosebleed didn't both Koichi as much as the pain from his arm and side.
"Why did you think I was with him?"
"I thought I saw the two of you together in
bed." It was getting har
"You thought I was having sex with Shingo?" Tsuyoshi asked incredulously. "When did you see this?"
"This afternoon." He gasped. "You were on top of Shingo, in bed."
"Was I dressed?"
"You where covered up. I could see that you weren't wearing a shirt."
"What business is it to you if I take my shirt off?"
"It's okay. I don't own you. You have the right to
be with whom ever you want." The pain in his side got worse. "I was
wrong. I jumpe
"The words you called me. I am not a slut, I am not a whore. I would never sell myself."
"I'm sorry I didn't trust you." He looked down
to the puddle of bloo
"Shingo told me that you were with Mabo yesterday." Tsuyoshi told him. "Why did you cheat on me?"
"Until I saw you with Shingo, I didn't realize how much I hurt you by straying. I've done too much to you to be forgiven." Koichi told him. "I'm sorry, I'm very sorry."
"How many times were you with him?" Tsuyoshi wiped another tear. "Please tell me the truth."
"Mabo's blackmailing me. If I don't sleep with him, he'll turn us into the manager." Koichi felt his own tears fall. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
"Mabo's blackmailing you?" Tsuyoshi sounded as if he didn't believe his friend.
"He has evidence. I've seen it."
"It got in the way of Shingo's foot." Koichi
"Why would Shingo hurt you like that?"
"I broke your heart." He told him. "I deserve this pain. I want to give you something." Koichi took off Tsuyoshi's ring and handed it to him. "I don't deserve it."
"Don't worry about that now." Tsuyoshi put the ring in his pocket. "Your arm, is it all right?"
"I think its broken." he admitted. "I fell on it. Shingo didn't break it."
"How did it happen?" Without waiting for the answer he said. "I bet Shingo kicked you and you fell on it."
Koichi nodded. Even with the pain he couldn't lie to Tsuyoshi.
"Let me see your nose." Tsuyoshi went to him,
touching his face. He pulle
Tsuyoshi examined it. "I think it's broken. We nee
"No, I don't want to go there." Koichi told
him. "I deserve what Shingo di
"How long has your nose been bleeding?" Tsuyoshi asked when there was no response. "Too long I bet. We're going to the hospital, if I have to carry you myself!"
Tsuyoshi ran into the main room of the dorm. Shingo was working on a puzzle at a table. Joshima whom everyone called Leader was sitting with his friend, reading the paper. The leader of Tokio had been talked into being the dorm parent to the senior's dorm.
"Leader, can you take us to the hospital?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"You want to go to the hospital?" Leader asked warily.
Shingo looked up from the puzzle. "Who needs to go to the hospital?"
"Koichi, he’s been beaten badly. I think he has at least two broken bones." Tsuyoshi couldn't help but shudder. "There's blood everywhere. His nose won't stop bleeding."
"Where is he?" Leader asked.
"He's in the gym."
"Has he said how it happened?" Shingo's eyes narrowed.
"He hasn't told me." He lied. It took all his willpower not to hit his friend.
"Are you sure you don't know how it happened?" Leader asked.
"We can talk about that later! I don't care how he
was injured." Tsuyoshi trie
"Let's go." the leader ran to the gym, followed closely by Tsuyoshi and Shingo. Shingo knelt beside Tsuyoshi.
Leader gestured, and Shingo moved away from Koichi. Leader then knelt beside him. "What
The injured man looked at the floor. "Someone jumped me from behind. I didn't see who it was."
"You where mugged. We nee
"No! No police!" Koichi insisted. "I'll be all right. Just give me some time to catch my breath."
"I think he must have been hit in the head." Shingo told Leader. "He's acting very confused."
"That's why I thought he neede
"How long have you been bleeding?" He asked.
"I don't know." Koichi admitted.
"Please, let me see your arm." Shingo moved near Koichi. "I won't touch it."
"Keep your hands off of me." Koichi lashed out at him.
"Can you move your arm?" Leader asked.
"No, it hurts too much." He admitted.
Leader looked at it without touching it. "It's broken. I'll call for an ambulance." Leader took out his ketai and made the call.
"You deserved what you got." Shingo hissed at Koichi.
Something inside Tsuyoshi snapped. He jumped on top of
Shingo. The blow knocke
"What the hell is going on?" Leader demanded.
"How could you?" Tsuyoshi began fight against him. "Koichi's your friend!"
"Stop it Tsu!" Leader ordered.
"Why are you attacking me?" Shingo demanded.
"Look what you di
"Wait a second." Leader said. "Shingo attacked him? Tsuyoshi is that true."
"I deserved it." Koichi said. "I betrayed Tsuyoshi."
"Shingo hurt you because you betrayed Tsuyoshi?" Leader asked unbelieving.
"Yes, I did." Shingo admitted.
"You can never answer names with your fist!" Leader
closed his eyes for a moment. Then he opene
"Perhaps that’s' what I deserve." Shingo said quietly. He let go of Tsuyoshi's wrists. "Do what you will with me. If you want to hurt me, I won't fight back."
"Tsuyoshi! It won't stop until you stop it." Leader snapped. "Get off of him."
"I hate you!" Tsuyoshi got off of Shingo.
"Don't hate him." Koichi told his partner. "He hurt me because he loves you."
"I'm not interested in Tsuyoshi!" Shingo growled.
"You love him like a brother, Shingo. You've told me that." Koichi gasped. "You protected your brother when you hit me."
"Yes, I did." Shingo admitted. "I couldn't see you hurt, Tsu-chan."
"I'm sorry Tsuyoshi. I'm really sorry I didn't believe in you." Koichi told him. "I'm sorry I strayed."
"Don't worry about us right now." Tsuyoshi went to Koichi. He reached out, touching him. "I'll stay at your side forever."
"I'll change." Koichi promised. "I won't give you reason to doubt me again."
There was a sound of sirens. Okada came running into the gym, followed by paramedics with a stretcher. A police officer also followed.
"What happened?" the officer asked.
"He was mugged." Leader lied. "When we found him, we called you."
"Who’s in charge here?"
"I am." Leader said. "I'm the dorm parent."
"Can't we do that later?" Tsuyoshi asked. "Koichi's hurt. He needs help."
"No one leave until I get to interview them." The officer turne
"I was hit from behind." Koichi lied. "There was a gang of them. They over powered me."
"Are you sure you didn't see their faces?"
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't."
The paramedics walked past the officer. One began to
examine Koichi. He raise
"I see two." Koichi told him.
"Can you walk?"
"I get dizzy when I walk."
The paramedics helped Koichi onto the stretcher. They then helped Koichi lay down, an
"I'll see you at the hospital." Tsuyoshi promised.
The paramedics raise
"I'll have to file a report. Can I interview everyone who saw him in this condition?" The officer asked.
"Of course." Leader told him. "It was just the four of us."
'This is a big dorm. Why are there only four people here?"
"It's Saturday, all most everyone is out enjoying the weekend."
The officer went to Tsuyoshi. "What is the name of the injured man?"
"His name is Domoto Koichi." Tsuyoshi told him.
The man wrote it down. "What is your name?"
"Are the two of you related?"
"No, we're not." Tsuyoshi admitted.
The man eyeballed him. "You look familiar to me, very familiar. Do you have a police record?"
"I've never been in trouble with the law."
"Then why do you look so familiar to me?"
"I've been in several dramas." Tsuyoshi told him. "Koichi and I have a television show."
"Tsuyoshi is part of an idol group calle
"Oh, the KinKi Kids." the officer smiled. "My daughter has a poster of you on her wall. Can I have an autograph?"
"Of course you may." Tsuyoshi took the officer's notebook and signed a blank piece of paper. He handed it back to the officer. "Do you need me to answer any more questions?"
"No, that will be all." The officer turne
Tsuyoshi went to the bleachers and sat down. He couldn't
help but notice that the officer got signatures from Shingo, Leader and Okada
too. His mind went to Koichi. He hope
Tsuyoshi sat in the waiting room. Because he wasn't relate
Tsuyoshi came to a decision. He would have to break up
with Koichi. Tsuyoshi neede
"Leader, would it be too hard for me to get a new roommate?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"It would be easy. I just have to find someone who would like to move in with you." Leader said. "Why do you want to change roommates?"
"I don’t want to discuss it now."
Leader who was sitting beside him leaned forwards and whispered into Tsuyoshi's ear. "What's the truth about what happened with you and Koichi?"
"You won't tell anyone else?" When Leader nodded, Tsuyoshi told him. "Koichi saw me giving Shingo a back rub. He thought I was having sex with him."
"There's only Koichi. I wouldn't cheat on him." Tsuyoshi took a deep breath and let it out. "Koichi didn't trust me. He broke up with me."
"Koichi is an idiot."
"Shingo told me that Koichi's been sleeping with
Mabo." Tsuyoshi paused. "Koichi confesse
"I'm not sure I believe Koichi." Tsuyoshi
looked down to his ring. "I'm not sure I'll stay with him. But right now
he needs me. I have to put my hatred for him aside, an
"Excuse me; I nee
"If you need a new roommate, I'd be willing to move in with you." Okada told him. Okada was a friend of his, but he couldn’t trust him fully.
"Not getting along with Ken?" Tsuyoshi guessed.
"Most of the time I sleep on the couch in the main room." The boy looked concerned. "When Koichi dated, did you have to sleep somewhere else?"
Tsuyoshi looked at his friend. "Can we not talk about Koichi?"
"Gomen na. I wasn't thinking."
Tsuyoshi looked at the other person in the waiting room.
Shingo sat glumly. In reality Tsuyoshi's
injuries had been Shingo's fault. His
friend had beaten Koichi because Tsuyoshi had been hurt. Tsuyoshi hope
The doctor came into the waiting room. "Joshima-san, your friend is in a serious condition."
"What's wrong with him?" Leader turned off his ketai and went to the doctor.
"Domoto Koichi's nose is badly broken. If we operate now, he will probably have a complete recovery." The doctor told him. "He also has broken ribs and his left radius is broken. He'll have to have surgery on his ribs. One of them is almost completely crushed."
"What about scaring?" Okada asked.
"After the operation, his nose will probably appear
normal within a month." The Doctor looke
"There is no problem with paying for Koichi's medical care." Leader said. "He's an employee of Johnny's Entertainment."
"Does he know about the surgery?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"I thought it would be best to discuss it with you
first." The doctor told him. "I wante
"I understand." Leader told him.
"Of course," Leader followed him out of the waiting room.
"Koichi needs an operation?" Shingo
whispered. "I didn't mean to hurt
him. I just wante
"Remind me never to get mad at you." Okada said.
His remark got a glare from Shingo. "If you tell on me, I'll make sure you're paid back!'
The youngster looked frightened. "I won't tell."
"What will happen if it can't be healed?"
Tsuyoshi asked. Even though he was angry with Koichi, he wanted his frien
"Don't think that way!" Shingo said. "You have to have faith in his getting better!"
Tsuyoshi waited in the surgery waiting room. His friends
stayed with him to support him. He could
see the nurse’s station from where he was sitting. An assistant had come from the manager with
authorization letters. The woman was the prim, proper type. Tsuyoshi watched as
the woman filled out the necessary paperwork. The woman then hande
The assistant came into the room. Her eyes set on Okada. "The manager would like you to come with me."
Okada suddenly looked like a trapped animal. "I want to stay here."
"You've been requested. Please come with me." She repeated.
"I won't go!" He said firmly. "I'm not going anywhere!"
"Do what she
says." Leader whispere
"You're right." the teenager got to his feet. He didn't look at his friends. He then followed her out of the waiting room.
"Why does he want to talk to Okada?" Tsuyoshi asked Shingo who was sitting on the other side of leader.
"He probably wants him to tattle some more." Shingo said.
"Okada doesn't get a choice in going." Leader
"Of course he does. He doesn't have to go." he insisted. "He could always tell the manager to go to hell."
"You know what happens when you refuse the Manager." Leader reminded him.
"How do you know he's being abused?" Shingo counted. "I think he likes being the manager's pet."
The leader glanced at Tsuyoshi. "This isn't the time to discuss this. Tsuyoshi's worried about Koichi."
"Of course," Shingo nodded.
"I'm scared." Tsuyoshi admitted. "What would happen if something went wrong?"
"For Koichi's sake, you have to stay positive."
"I'll stay here tonight." He decided. "I want to be at his side when he wakes up."
"Management won't let you." Leader reminded him. "Go to the dorm and stay there tonight. You can visit him in the morning."
"Koichi needs me." Tsuyoshi insisted. "He wants me to be here."
"I know he does." Leader looked around, an
"Okada will tell on me anyway."
"What if he doesn't?" Leader pointed out.
"Look at what happened with Mori and Nakai. They thought it was safe to go
out for just one day as lovers. Mori is
fired, and Nakai is never allowe
Tsuyoshi realized it was no use arguing with Leader. "Would you let me stay until Koichi wakes up from the surgery?"
"When we find out Koichi's awake, you'll go back to the dorms." Leader decided.
Tsuyoshi waited in the surgery waiting room. Shingo had left over an hour before. Leader had stayed with the younger man. Yamaguchi and Nagase came into the waiting room. Yamaguchi looked at Nagase. "Where’d he go?"
Yamaguchi went back out into the hallway, and pushed Mabo
into the room. The drummer had a black
eye and his lip was swollen. Tsuyoshi
rolled his eyes. Tokio was having troubles again. The group seeme
Tsuyoshi got up and went to the window. He looked out to
the night sky. Tsuyoshi didn't want to
look at Mabo. Koichi was having an affair with Mabo. Tsuyoshi wondered if Koichi ha
"You where right Leader." Yamaguchi told him.
"Course we ha
"Masahiro has something to give you leader." Nagase gave the drummer a shove. Mabo handed a piece of paper to Leader. He bowed.
"Everything I put down is the truth." Mabo told him.
Leader went to Tsuyoshi's side. He offered him a paper.
"It's got nothing to do with me." Tsuyoshi
"I think you're opinion of Koichi will change if you
Tsuyoshi took the paper away from Leader. He read it. According to the paper Mabo was blackmailing Koichi. Mabo had proof of all the sleeping around Koichi did when he was the Manager's favorite. When Mabo found out Koichi's feelings for Tsuyoshi, he began to use that as a blackmail tool. If Koichi didn't sleep with Mabo, all of the evidence would be turned over to the Manager. There was as very strong chance that Koichi would be fired if that happened.
"Mabo's been blackmailing Koichi?" Tsuyoshi asked. "How do you know Mabo isn't making it up?"
"Why would he make up something like this?" Leader countered. "Mabo's confession only damns Mabo."
"Koichi enjoyed being with me." Mabo sneered. "He begged me to use him."
'Quit lying." Nagase told him. "Tell the truth."
"He was a wild man with me. Koichi's other boyfriend
is still a virgin. Can you believe that?" Mabo looked at Tsuyoshi. "Koichi ha
Yamaguchi took Mabo's arm an
"Let go of my arm, and I will!"
Yamaguchi let go of Mabo's arm. The drummer rubbed his
wrist. "Koichi hated every minute of being with me." Mabo
admitted. "Most of the time I ha
"You raped him?" Tsuyoshi gasped.
"It wasn't rape, it was forceful seduction." The drummer boasted. "The last time I took him, I found him in the kitchen. I pulled him into the pantry. He was all ready hard. If he didn't want me, why would he be so excited?"
*He was all ready hard.* Then it dawned on Tsuyoshi. He knew why Koichi had been so excited. "Have you thought perhaps Koichi had been with me before you found him?"
"It doesn't matter. I don't care what he does with you." Mabo told him. "In the end, he'll always be mine. Just remember that you won't be the only person he'll be with. He'll be with me too."
"Why would you do such a thing?" Leader asked.
"Power, it felt goo
"How many times did it happen?" Tsuyoshi tried
"Not as much as I would have liked. He was always hanging around you. It took a lot of time to get him away from you." Mabo bragged. "I kept a record. It was at least three times a week. He cheated on you. How does that feel knowing that he let me use his body?"
"Shut up!" Tsuyoshi punched Mabo hard in the face. Mabo countered, hitting Tsuyoshi back.
Yamaguchi and Nagase grabbed Mabo, pulling him away from
Tsuyoshi. Mabo trie
"That's what you think!" the drummer sneered. "It's only a matter of time until Koichi is with me all the time!"
"If I let go of you, will you stay here?" Leader asked Tsuyoshi.
"Mabo isn't worth my getting into trouble." Tsuyoshi admitted.
Leader let go of Tsuyoshi and went to Mabo. "Listen to me, Tokio takes care of its own."
Mabo stopped his struggling. "You can't do anything to me!"
"I'll leave you to Yamaguchi." Leader decided. "He'll decide what punishment you receive."
"Can I use all my bondage gear with him?" Yamaguchi said with a glint in his eye.
"You can use any whip or other disciplining device that you want." Leader told him.
"I will be please
"How many days should Mabo be punished?" Nagase asked.
"Mabo's punishments will last three days." Leader decided.
"You can't do that! It's inhuman." Mabo cried.
"Nagase help Yamaguchi get him back to the dorms." Leader told his friend.
"Hai." Nagase said.
The two men pulled Mabo out of the waiting room.
As soon as they where gone, Tsuyoshi asked Leader. "Yamaguchi has whips and bondage devices?"
"Yamaguchi has a certain refine
"Is he a masochist?"
"Yamaguchi is a sadist. Don't worry. He only beats those who consent to be beaten." Leader smiled. "Unless he has to punish someone for me."
Tsuyoshi didn't know what to say after that, so he sat
thinking about Koichi. He was still angry at Mabo. He realized his friend had
been a victim in all of this. He could still remember the times that Koichi had
held him an
"I underestimated Koichi." Tsuyoshi finally said.
"It's hard for a person like Koichi to change." Leader told him. "But I think he has changed. He does love you."
"No, I don't think he would."
"I don't think he would have either." Tsuyoshi realized. "The next time I see him. I want to tell him I forgive him. Perhaps we can still have a future together."
Koichi woke up. He
"How did I get here?" Koichi trie
The nurse on duty ignored him as she worked on her
paperwork. It was hard for Koichi to see. He ha
"Tsuyoshi." Koichi called. "Tsuyoshi." there was no answer, so he called his friend's name louder and louder.
That got the nurses attention, she went to his side. "Please be quiet. You'll wake the other patients."
"I want Tsu-chan."
"I'm not sleeping until I talk to Tsu-chan!" Koichi said stubbornly.
"What's his name?"
"I told you, Tsuyoshi!" Koichi couldn't understand why the woman didn't know who is best friend was.
"His family name." The nurse seeme
"Domoto, His name is Domoto Tsuyoshi." Koichi told her. "I want Tsu-chan!"
"I'll be right back." the woman left.
"Tsu-chan, I want Tsu-chan." Koichi kept
repeating in his uncertainty. It seemed as if a long time passed as Koichi lai
Suddenly a very familiar han
Someone stood beside him, he had dark hair. The swelling in his face prevented him from seeing much else. "Tsu-chan, is that you?"
He could feel Tsuyoshi kiss his fingers. "Yes, it's me. You're not dreaming."
"My face, it feels like it's puffed up like a marshmallow." Koichi told him. "I'm having trouble seeing."
"Your face is badly swollen." Tsuyoshi brought
Koichi felt the familiar face. "My Tsu-chan."
"My ko-chan." Tsuyoshi put Koichi's hand back down on the bed.
"It's okay," Tsuyoshi soothed. "I forgive you."
"Why would you forgive me?" Koichi asked. "I don't deserve it."
"I have to forgive you. I can't live my life without you." Tsuyoshi put a ring on Koichi's finger. "I'll be at your side forever."
"Do you remember coming to the hospital?"
"Yes, but I don't know how I got a cast."
"You've had an operation on your nose, and another
on your ribs." Tsuyoshi trie
"What's this?" Koichi asked.
"I thought I'd give you a photo of us. If you're
feeling lonely, you can look at it." Tsuyoshi kissed his friend's fingers.
Then he moved so that he was close to Koichi's face. He ignore
"I can't sleep. Need you here with me."
Koichi was surprised when Tsuyoshi climbed into the bed with him. It was a very narrow fit, but somehow Tsuyoshi was able to keep his balance. Tsuyoshi stretched out beside him. Then he put his head on Koichi's pillow. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep."
Koichi moved his head so that it was touching Tsuyoshi's.
It felt strange, but he neede
Tsuyoshi couldn't sleep.
He was worried about Koichi. So
he used studying as an excuse, and sat in the lounge area. He tried looking at his books. Tsuyoshi
couldn't keep his mind on what he was doing.
All he coul
He thought it was strange when Nagase Tomoya announced that he needed to work on lines for his latest drama. Nagase's drama didn't start filming for another month. There was no need for him to practice lines. Nagase being there made Tsuyoshi feel better.
"Would you like some coffee?" Nagase offered.
"That sounds good." Tsuyoshi picked up a pen and began to doodle on a spare piece of paper.
Nagase poured him some coffee from the flask. He handed it to him. "He'll be back soon."
"Who will be?" he pretended innocence.
"Koichi,” he paused. "I wante
"Koichi isn't a slut!" Tsuyoshi said firmly.
"Name one person in this dorm he hasn't slept with."
"You've never slept with him?" Nagase sounded as if he didn't believe him. "Koichi'll drop his pants for anyone. Why not you?"
"I don't have to tell you that."
"Has he told you why he sleeps around?"
"He was the manager's favorite." Tsuyoshi trie
"Leader told me the same thing." Nagase told him. "He told me that I should stop judging Koichi."
"Stop calling him a slut." Tsuyoshi told him. "Koichi's no longer like that. He's changed." Tsuyoshi closed his eyes. He really didn't want to talk about Koichi's infidelity. He opened his eyes and asked. "What's the new drama about?"
The door to the lounge opened, and Okada slipped in. One of his eyes had been bruised, and his lip was swollen. His t-shirt had been torn. Tears where pouring down his cheeks. He sat on the floor, his back against the closed door. Then his eyes set on the two men in the room. "Why are you up?"
"I could ask you the same thing." Nagase said.
"I just got in."
"You're only fifteen; you shouldn't be out so late." Tsuyoshi told him.
"What would our manager say if he found out you
where out this late?" Nagase added. "Perhaps we shoul
"Please don't," The boy said softly.
"I don't see why we shouldn't. You tell on us often enough!"
Nagase said. "I think management might be intereste
"I was suppose
"You got caught, and I am going to tell on
you." Nagase seeme
"Then tell. Perhaps he'll fire me. Then I can go
"I wonder if he's up now." Nagase took out his ketai.
"Please don't call. I don't want to be hurt
again!" Okada covered his face with his bruised arms. Tsuyoshi notice
"Stop it Tomoya!" Tsuyoshi snapped. "Okada's been beaten up."
"Perhaps he got on his boyfriend's nerves." Nagase snapped.
"Our manager isn't my boyfriend!" Okada insisted. "I hate him."
"Then why are you seeing him?" He put his ketai up.
"I don't get a choice." he pulled his legs up
to his chest, and wrapped his arms aroun
"I wonder what management would say if it was found out you where sleeping around?"
"I don't sleep around!"
"Then it will be okay if I tell the Manager about Sakamoto." Nagase threatened. "I think he would be interested in knowing his favorite has a boyfriend."
"Please don't tell him about Sakamoto." Okada began to sob. "He'll beat me worse the next time."
"Why? Don't you think he needs a taste of his own medicine?"
Tsuyoshi went to Okada's side and knelt down beside him. "Our manager knows where you where, doesn't he?"
"I'm not suppose
"He's just like Koichi." Tsuyoshi realized.
"Okada's nothing like Koichi!"
"You don't see, do you?" Tsuyoshi asked. "Management picked a new favorite. One that he tortures, and abuses. One that has to tell on his friends, so that the pain will stop."
"Our Manager's torturing you?" Nagase turne
"I hate going to him! I die a little bit every time he touches me!" Okada insisted. "I would quit but my mother won't let me return home."
"Leader was right, you are a victim." Nagase told him. "I'm sorry I threatened you."
"You two know my secret." he wiped away a tear. "Soon the whole dorm will. I'll be hated even worse then I am now."
"No one will find out." Nagase promised.
"You want revenge. I understan
"Why don't you go to bed? We can talk about this in the morning." Tsuyoshi suggested.
"I can't, I'll wake up Ken. He's probably got Morita sharing his bed. I'm not allowed in the room when they're together." He nodded at the couch. "I'll sleep in here."
"You can stay in my room. You can sleep in Ko-chan's bed." Tsuyoshi offered.
"Are you sure you want a spy sleeping in your room?" Okada asked.
"You're not a spy!" Tsuyoshi helped him up.
"It's all right, go to bed." Nagase agreed.
"But my secret." Okada reminded him.
"It needs to stay a secret." Nagase told him. "I'll pretend that I didn't see you tonight."
Tsuyoshi had slept through morning visiting hours, so he
would have to go in the afternoon. There
wasn't anything to do, besides worry. Leader ha
Tsuyoshi came into Shingo's room. Kusanagi shut the door.
Tsuyoshi couldn't help but notice the boxes that were on Shingo's bed. Tsuyoshi decide
"Shingo's been thrown out of the dorm." the older man went back to packing. "He went to the Manager this morning and made a full confession."
"So you're packing for him." Tsuyoshi guessed.
"He's not allowe
"Is he still in Smap?"
The older man gave Tsuyoshi a withering look. "Of course he's still in Smap. He'll be staying with Nakai until he finds his own apartment."
"Listen, I didn't do anything with Shingo." Tsuyoshi began.
"I know that." Kusanagi interrupted.
"Shingo's got a ba
"I wonder why his temper's so bad." Tsuyoshi
"He was only eleven when Smap was first formed. The older guys picked on him a lot." Kusanagi told him. "He gets angry when he sees someone picked on. Shingo'll hit first and ask questions later."
Kusanagi pulled a drawer out of the dresser, and dumpe
"We're going together." Tsuyoshi shrugged. "I'm not sure what I am to Koichi."
"I bet everyone's trie
"Yes, they have. I'm sick of everyone telling me that Koichi can't stay true to me."
"Do you believe he can?"
"I trust him." Tsuyoshi said. "I don't care what everyone else thinks about him. I know Koichi better then anyone."
"I feel the same way about Shingo-chan." he
picked up a pile of stuff an
"How long have you been with Shingo?"
"Two years. He promised me he would change, and he did." Kusanagi looked at Tsuyoshi. "He needed my complete trust. When I gave it to him, he changed completely."
"So I nee
"Good start, but next time you see him. Tell him you trust him." Kusanagi suggested.
"I will." Tsuyoshi promised.
Kusanagi looked aroun
After his talk with Kusanagi, Tsuyoshi decide
"Do you want some help?" Tsuyoshi offered.
"I can handle this." Nagase told him.
"Are you going to turn me in?" Tsuyoshi sat down on a bench close to where Nagase was working.
"I'm breaking the rules with Koichi." He
reminded his friend. "We aren't suppose
"I can't turn you in. If I did, I would have to turn
myself in." Nagase rinse
Tsuyoshi fought down the urge to ask Nagase who is lover was. "This isn't fair. Why can't we be with who we want?"
"I don't know." Nagase began to mop again. "I love Shingeru, you love Koichi. I don't see a problem with that."
"*Leader*? You and Leader?" Tsuyoshi gasped. "You can have any man in this dorm, and you picked Leader?"
Nagase couldn't suppress his grin. "There's
something about men from
"Leader?" Tsuyoshi couldn't believe his ears. "You never told me you like Leader."
"I know he's a lot older then me, but when we’re together, it seems like we're the same age. The Shingeru I see is different then the Leader everyone else knows."
"Now you know why I love Koichi." Tsuyoshi said. "What I see is a good, honorable man. I want to stay at his side forever."
"I don't think he loves you." Nagase said. "He probably thinks your some kind of conquest."
"Then it's my mistake to make." Tsuyoshi told him.
Leader came into the gym. He glanced at the blood on the
"Oh god, no." Nagase swore. "Why? Why does he have to go?"
"I'm going to be fired." Tsuyoshi groaned.
"Good luck." The leader said sincerely. "Hopefully you won't be gone too long."
Nagase looked at Tsuyoshi. "Please don't tell on us."
"I won't." Tsuyoshi promised. He took a deep breath. He got up and went to the parking lot.
The sun had all ready rose when Tsuyoshi returne
Tsuyoshi knew he should leave, and give the two some
privacy. His aching body though otherwise. It took all his strength to get to
his bed, an
*I'm sorry Koichi. I wanted you to be my first.* the tears he had held in began to flow. *Why didn't you tell me love hurt?*
A few minutes passed. He could hear Sakamoto saying very softly. "Junichi, wake up."
"I'm tired Yuki-chan, you kept me up too late." The boy said half asleep.
He could hear movement in the room. Then Okada asked. "Tsuyoshi, are you all right?"
"Go away." Tsuyoshi wipe
"Tsuyoshi?" Sakamoto touched his shoulder.
"Leave me alone!" he turned over, lashing out at the V6 leader. "Don't touch me!'
Tsuyoshi wrapped himself in a blanket, an
"You've been hurt. We have to help you." He went to Tsuyoshi's side.
"I don't want to be helped!" Tsuyoshi insisted. "Get away from me!"
"Yuki, leave him alone." Okada said.
"Tsuyoshi's been hurt." Sakamoto told him.
"I know that. It was my fault." The younger man
explained. "Our manager asked me if I had seen them going off alone
together. I mentione
"You didn't tell him anything else did you?" Sakamoto glared at him.
"No, he beat me and beat me, and I wouldn't say anything else." Okada insisted. "Tsuyoshi's one of my few friends. I couldn't betray him."
Sakamoto sat down next to the closet. "Tsu-chan, are you bleeding?"
"I don't think so." Tsuyoshi looked at him. "I'm not sure. It still hurts."
"It will hurt for a while." Sakamoto told him. "Did he rape you?"
Tsuyoshi nodded. 'You won't tell anyone will you?"
Okada put his hand on Sakamoto's shoulder. "Yuki-Chan’s is good at keeping secrets."
"Does love always hurt this much?"
"Real love feels wonderful." Okada said.
"Can't you remember being with Koichi? How di
"I am... I mean was a virgin." Tsuyoshi corrected. "How am I going to tell Koichi about this?"
"Koichi will stay at your side." The alarm
rang. Sakamoto glanced at it, an
"I'll be fine." Tsuyoshi lied. "I just nee
The older man put his clothes back on, an
"I will." Okada promised.
He leaned forward kissing the younger man gently. "Bye."
"See you later, Yuki-chan."
Sakamoto glanced at Tsuyoshi. "Be careful Jun-chan. We can't be caught."
"Sorry, it just slipped out." he said sheepishly.
Sakamoto kissed Okada one more time, then left. Okada watched him leave, then shut the door.
After Sakamoto left, Okada left Tsuyoshi alone. He felt safe in the closet. No one would find him there. He kept thinking of Koichi. He could still remember all the times his friend had come home from visiting the mansion crying. Now Tsuyoshi knew the pain he felt.
*How could you put up with the abuse day after day?*
There was a tapping on the door then Nagase burst in, wearing his school uniform. "Tsuyoshi! If you don't get up, we're going to be late for school." He stopped when he saw Okada. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm Tsuyoshi's new roommate. I was told to move in
yesterday." Okada trie
"Did our manager send Tsuyoshi back?" He looked around. "Where is he?"
Okada got up, blocking between Nagase an
"What do you mean, he isn't going to school?"
Nagase pushed past the younger boy. For the first time he saw Tsuyoshi. "Oh my god." he turned back to the teenager, hitting him in the face. "This happened because of you!"
"I know that." Okada admitted. "Do you think I *wanted* this to happen to him?"
"Yes, I do!" Another hit, then Nagase turne
"Leave me alone." Tsuyoshi pulled himself into a tighter ball. "Don't make me go to school today."
"Of course you're not going." Nagase put his
book bag down. He knelt in front of the closet. He turne
"Hai!" Okada ran out of the room.
"I don't want to see Leader." Tsuyoshi said. "I don't want anyone to know what happened."
"What did happen?"
"I was punished for breaking the rules." He wiped a tear off his face. "Go ahead, go to school. I'll be okay."
Just then Leader came into the room. "Okada sai
"I need you to write two excuse notes, one for me, and one for Tsuyoshi. Say we're sick." Nagase said.
"You're not sick." The leader looked him over.
"Besides, this is your senior year.
You're not suppose
"Tsuyoshi's been traumatized. He's hiding in the closet." Nagase told him. "He was punished severely by our Manager. He might be injured."
"He can take care of himself."
"Shingeru, Tsuyoshi wouldn't know what to do if he was hurt. He was a virgin."
"He was a virgin." Leader grew pale. "I'll write the notes. Okada can take them to school when he goes."
"I don't want to go to school." Okada told him.
"Do you want to tell our manager that you’re not going?" Leader asked. "Go take a shower and get ready!"
"Yes leader." Okada grabbed his bath supplies and left the room.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Leader said very softly.
"I don't feel like talking." Tsuyoshi told him. "I just want to know how Koichi and Okada live with this everyday. Knowing that at any time, he might call, and you'll be hurt again."
"It's hard. You get afraid of the phone ringing. A stranger at the door might be someone to pick you up for the Manager." Leader suddenly looked sad. "You'll do anything to fill the pain in your soul. Drinking, drugs, letting other people use your body. But when it's all over, and you've grown too old for him, the fear begins to fade. You begin to realize that the pain you feel isn't your fault."
"Oh kami." Tsuyoshi said, as he realized what he had been told. "How old where you when it stopped?"
"Thank you leader," Nagase said.
Tsuyoshi watched as Leader wrote the notes. The news about him and Sakamoto sunk in. *No wonder Okada's with Sakamoto, he has someone who can truly understand what he's going through.*
Sometime around , Nagase had declared that Tsuyoshi needed to eat. His friend had left to find food.
He sat in the closet. He wante
Tsuyoshi grabbed his robe, and shower things. He went the
bathroom. He locke
*I don't want to feel this way anymore.* Tsuyoshi turne
Memories washed over him as the water fell on him. Of the pain of his first time, how he had cried during it. Of the cameras that filmed his humiliation. How he spent the night being used again and again.
Tsuyoshi scrubbed and scrubbed himself. Still, the feeling wouldn't go away. After a while, the water turned from hot to
warm, then cold. Still Tsuyoshi trie
"Tsuyoshi, are you in there?" He could hear Nagase yell for him.
He didn't answer; he was too busy trying to get clean. He scrubbed himself with a stiff brush trying to get the dirty feeling to go away. It didn't work. He still felt filthy.
*Koichi, how could you live with this every day?* he
asked himself. *How can I tell you it happene
Minutes passed. Tsuyoshi didn't know how many. Then the door was unlocked from the outside.
"Tsuyoshi!" Nagase went to the shower. "Shingeru I found him!"
"Leave me alone. I have to get clean." Tsuyoshi told him.
"The water's was freezing. It's time to get out." Nagase he grabbed Tsuyoshi's arm.
"Don't touch me!" Terrified he punched Nagase.
Then fell to the floor with him, as the taller man didn't let go of his
arm. Tsuyoshi fought against
Nagase. He kicked, punched, and scratche
"Tsu-chan I'm your friend." Nagase trie
"You're going to hurt me! I won't let you."
"Let him go!" Leader ordered.
"Get your hands off of me!" Tsuyoshi grabbed a handful of Nagase's long hair pulling as hard as he could.
"Ouch!" Nagase Yelped. "Let go of my hair!"
Tsuyoshi responded by pulling harder and kicking him.
"What are you doing Tomoya?" Leader asked.
"I'm trying to help him!"
"If you want to help him, let go of his arm." Leader insisted.
"He might run!" He put his hand on top of Tsuyoshi's as he yanked once again on his hair. "I'm going to be bald if he doesn't stop this!"
"If you're really his friend, do as I say." The leader told him quietly. "I've been through what he has. I can help him. Just let go of him, and wait for him in his room."
"You're right." Nagase let go of Tsuyoshi. "Tsu-chan, let go of my hair."
"You'll leave me alone?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Yes, I will! Now let go of my hair!"
Tsuyoshi did as he was told. Nagase rubbed his head, an
He got back to his feet, and went under the shower again.
"Tsuyoshi." Leader told him very softy. "You've showered enough. It's time to get in the bathtub."
"I must get clean." Tsuyoshi grabbed a sponge and began to scrub his raw skin.
"The bathtub is better for getting clean." He tempted. "The water's warm, soothing. It will make the feeling go away."
Tsuyoshi stopped his scrubbing. "You know the feeling?"
"I've felt that way many times before. No one except for those who have gone through what we have knows what it is. How you can never get clean." Leader reached out, turning off the water. "I thought you might need a bath, so I all ready drew one."
Tsuyoshi let his friend guide him to the tub. The leader took the lid off. Tsuyoshi reached out, touching the water. It was as he had been told. It was warm. He got into the tub, and sat down. The warmth made his bruises and aching bones feel better.
"Will you stay here with me?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Of course I will." he pulled up a chair and
sat down. They chatted for quite a while
about their homes in
"I don't think you know this, but you were Koichi first friend." Leader told him.
"You're kidding." Tsuyoshi gasped. "Koichi has lots of friends."
"Koichi once told me that you tried as hard as you
"Yeah, we've been together for quite a while." Tsuyoshi told him. "He's a good friend. He's very loyal."
"You're a good frien
"I wish he was here. Somehow he would make this entire stop."
"Why don't you soak for a while?" Leader suggested.
Tsuyoshi leaned against the wall of the bath tub and closed his eyes. After about thirty minutes, Tsuyoshi began to feel better. He had questions, questions that he knew Nagase would never be able to answer.
"Our Manager said he will call for me tonight." Tsuyoshi told Leader. "What can I do to make it not hurt so much?"
"You can't fight back." Leader warned. "It makes the beatings worse."
"I don't want it to happen." Tsuyoshi insisted.
"I know you don't. It angers the Manager when you struggle." He paused. "When he wants to have sex you must relax."
The memory of the rape flashe
"Close your eyes think of Koichi. Pretend it's him." The older man suggested.
"He'll never forgive me for this." Tsuyoshi paused. "He called me a whore. He was right."
"No, he was wrong when he called you that." Leader said. "He feels bad for calling you those names. You know that don't you?"
"Yes, I do." Tsuyoshi looked at his friend. "Can I get out now?"
"How are you feeling?"
"I'll survive." Tsuyoshi realized.
"Do you want to go to the hospital?" Leader offered. "I talked to Koichi this morning. He misses you."
"I'm forbidden to go." he looked down to his
bruised arms. "Besides, I don't
want him to see me this way. It would be better if he remembers how I use
"Would you? I would really like to write to him." Tsuyoshi decided.
'Why don't you get out, and write him that note?" Leader suggested.
"Okay, I will." Tsuyoshi got out of the tub. The leader helped him towel himself off. Then he handed him his robe.
Koichi was a very bored man. The doctor ha
All Koichi ha
He had dim memories of Tsuyoshi being with him after the surgery. He could remember his friend had placed his ring back on his finger. He wasn't sure if it was a dream or reality. He felt warm, comforted when he thought of his friend. He looked down to the ring.
Just then Leader came into the room. He was caring a bag. Koichi hi
"Good afternoon." Koichi trie
"He's at the dorms." Leader seeme
"He didn't come with you." He looked away from Leader. "He hasn't forgiven me yet."
"Tsuyoshi wants to come. But our Manager has forbidden him to."
Koichi looked back to the leader. "Why would he do that?"
"I don't know. I've never been able to understand our manager." He said.
"Am I going to have any visitors?"
"Probably tomorrow." he put the bag he was holding on Koichi's lap. "Tsuyoshi sent you some presents."
"Sure," Leader took them out. He opene
"I'd rather have him."
"You can't have everything." Leader shut the
book. He set it on the bedside table. Then he took the bag from Koichi. He
pulled out a piece of paper. "He wanted you to rea
"Thanks." he took the paper.
How are you doing? I've been thinking of you a lot. Is your arm feeling any better? It has been very boring without you around. Doing my homework isn't quite the same. I miss your smile. I didn't realize how important you are to me until suddenly you where gone.
I want to visit you, but I've been forbidden to. If I had my way, I would be at your side. Instead I have to visit you through a letter. I am sorry for what happened. Our fight was my fault. I should have told Shingo to find someone else to rub his back. I didn't know he would hurt you.
There is so much I want to tell you. Things I don't want to put in a letter. You're my partner, a relationship that is beyond friendship, beyond family, beyond a lover. If I call you partner no one would question us. But we would know the truth. Can I start calling you partner?
Leader knows about our relationship. Can we trust him?
Management has canceled our TV appearances until you get out of hospital. So don't worry about not seeing me on TV. I'll write to you again.
I forgive you for
being with Mabo. He's confesse
Love you, Tsuyoshi
Koichi put the note down. "What's wrong with Tsuyoshi?"
"What do you mean?" Leader asked innocently.
"Something's bothering him."
"How can you tell?"
"I know Tsuyoshi." Koichi rea
"He's very worried about you. He blames himself for what happened." Leader finally said.
"That's crazy, all this is my fault." Koichi knew something else must be going on. Perhaps Leader didn't know what it was. "If I wrote a letter, could you deliver it for me?"
"Of course I would." Leader handed Koichi his
notebook book and a pencil. Koichi opene
Please forgive me for being such a Baga. I was jealous. You are my prince. I should have trusted you. Don't blame yourself for what happened. It's my fault.
I would be honored if you called me partner. I agree with you, our relationship is beyond friendship, beyond family. I can't see my life without you. It's so strange. Just a few years ago we didn't know each other, but now it seems if I've known you all my life. You know me better then I know myself.
Don't worry about Leader telling on us. He won't.
Do you remember them calling us Double Domoto? I thought
it was strange that I would be partnered with someone with my own family
name. Even then you seemed so
glamorous. At the time I knew there was
something wrong with me. Before I joine
I want to get out of hospital. I want to hold you again. I want to prove to you that I'll be true to you.
I better get going. Leader is looking at me funny.
Running, Tsuyoshi was running. He ha
*I have to get to him!*
Tsuyoshi ran towards his friend. The sounds of the hunters pursuing him where
getting closer and closer. He ran into a fence. He could see Koichi a few
meters from him. Tsuyoshi trie
"Koichi! Koichi" he screamed. "Help me! Ko-chan!"
His friend looked up to him; there was blood all over his shirt. His nose was broken; he held his broken arm close to his body. "I can’t," Koichi told him. "I'm too injured."
Tsuyoshi could feel his hunters grabbing him. He held onto the fence tightly. "Koichi, help me!"
"This is your punishment." Koichi hissed.
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"You cheated on me! You promised me that I would your first." there was hatred in his eyes. "Take your punishment as a man!"
"Koichi!" he cried as the hunters took him away.
Suddenly Tsuyoshi was awake. Someone was sitting in front of him. The stranger reached out, touching him. "It's okay."
"Don't touch me!" Tsuyoshi lashed out at the person.
"Tsu-chan. It's me Junichi." the boy said calmly. "You where dreaming."
"Dreaming?" Tsuyoshi repeated.
Tsuyoshi suddenly knew where he was. He was in the closet of his bedroom. Tsuyoshi's roommate sat on the closet floor beside him, he looked concerned. "Are you all right?"
"I had a dream." Tsuyoshi moved his hair out of
his face. It had been nine days since he
became the Manager's favorite. Nine days of a living nightmare. Not only did he
have nightmares at the Manager's mansion, he ha
"Perhaps you should go back to sleep." Okada suggested.
"No! I'll have the dream again."
"What was it about?"
"You wouldn't understand."
"Were you dreaming being locked in the closet?" Okada guessed. "I dream about that sometimes. I dream that he's put me in there, and forgotten about me."
"I forget that you've gone through it too." Tsuyoshi said. "If I told you my dream, would you tell on me?"
“You’re my friend."
"That's very scary." Okada admitted.
"I don't know why Koichi won't help me in my dreams."
"He can't help because he's in the hospital."
"I don't understand." Tsuyoshi said confused. "It's a dream. Why couldn't he help me?"
"In your dream, you're running from what's been happening to you." Okada explained. "The one you know would help you can't. He's in the hospital."
"You're right." Tsuyoshi said. "I feel as if Koichi had been there none of it would have happened. He would have protected me."
"Perhaps you should go to the hospital an
"No I can't!" He almost shouted. He took a deep breath. "I don't want him to see me this way."
"Why don't you go back to sleep?"
"I can't. I'll have the dream again."
"I can sleep with you. Perhaps if I'm there, it might help."
"You won't hurt me?" Tsuyoshi asked afraid.
"No, I won't hurt you!" Okada smiled. "I'll be there only as a friend." Tsuyoshi moved over. Okada got into the closet. He lay down beside him, not touching.
"No, it was about a month later." Okada told him. "I became Sakamoto's roommate. I didn't tell him what happened. How could I? But he knew, some how he knew. If I had dreams, he would be there for me. I felt safe in his arms. No one would hurt me if he was with me."
"You fell in love with him." Tsuyoshi guessed.
"I didn't mean to. It just happened. I didn't tell him. He's so much older then me."
"Then how did you become lovers?"
"Yuki-chan once told me that love feels different
when you want it." Okada paused.
"You seduced him? I thought he would be the one to seduce you."
"You didn't think I could seduce Sakamoto because I'm younger?" Okada raised a knowing eyebrow. "Yuki-chan was right; it did feel different when you want it."
"Does he love you?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"To him I'm just a friend. But I'm happy with what we have."
"Koichi sleeps around."
"Try to understand why he did it. He once told me that sleeping with someone made the dirty feeling go away for a few hours."
"When Koichi gets out of the hospital, He'll stay at
your side. He'll support you." his frien
"I can't tell him what happened." Tsuyoshi
admitted. "I'm too ashame
"Go to sleep, you nee
"Your right, I do." Tsuyoshi closed his eyes. With his friend beside him, he slept.
Tsuyoshi was in his room, he was studying with
Nagase. It had been ten days since the
Manager had first called for him. He had been sent for every night since
then. Tsuyoshi couldn't stop thinking
of his partner. He wasn't allowe
"I want to see Koichi." Tsuyoshi said. "I miss him."
"How about if the Manager doesn't call you tonight, we'll smuggle you into his room?" Nagase suggested.
"I'm not sure I should go." Tsuyoshi looked away. "I don't want Koichi to see me like this."
"What do you mean?"
"If Ko-chan sees me, he'll know I cheated on him." Tsuyoshi confessed. "That I'm no longer a virgin."
"Tsuyoshi! You didn't cheat
on him!" his frien
"It's no longer against my will." Tsuyoshi admitted. "If I do what our Manager asks, it doesn't hurt as much."
"Tell me, if you could stop it, would you?"
"Of course I would! I hate when he touches me!" Tsuyoshi said in a rush.
"Then it's not your fault." Nagase said calmly. "Koichi would understand."
Okada came into the room. He looked at his room mate. "Tsuyoshi, it's time."
"Time for what?" Tsuyoshi didn't look up to him.
"He's called for us."
Tsuyoshi looked up to him. "He wants to see both of us?"
Okada nodded, his bottom lip trembled. "Hai."
Tsuyoshi stood up, and closed his book. He put the book on his desk. "I'm sorry; I can't finish my homework tonight."
"Don't tell me you're going." Nagase gasped.
Tsuyoshi looked down to the bruises on his arm. "I have to."
"What would happen if you refused?"
"The penalties are severe if we refuse the manager." Okada told him.
"What? He'll beat you more?" Nagase sounded upset. "He's going to beat you anyway!"
"I don't obey; I'll be locked in the closet." Tsuyoshi said.
'That doesn't soun
"If you’re put in the closet, you’re bound and gagged. You can't move. After a few hours, you'll do anything he wants." Tsuyoshi explained. "Trust me. It's like hell."
As soon as they
arrived at the Manager's bedroom, Tsuyoshi undressed. He folded his clothes, and put them in a
corner. He sat down on the bed. He
picked up the chain that was fastene
"Is the lock fastened?" The Manager asked.
"I want you to wear the neck chain tonight."
'It will be my pleasure." Tsuyoshi lifted a door in the
headboard. Then he took a chain that was fastene
"You're a good pet. You've learned quickly to enjoy your visits."
"Thank you." Tsuyoshi didn't tell him what he
really thought. That he hate
"Hurry up Junichi!" the Manager snapped. "What's the problem?"
He watched as the youngest member of V6 very slowly took
off his clothes, his back to Tsuyoshi.
His bruises had faded. Okada hadn't looked at him since they had left
the dorm. He had sat in the limo, crying
to himself. Tsuyoshi wondered if his
"I've been waiting a long time to see the two of you together."
For the first time, Tsuyoshi realized what the manager wanted. His blood ran cold. He didn't want to have sex with his friend. He didn't say anything. He knew what would happen if he did.
"Kiss Tsuyoshi!" the manager ordered.
"No." Okada said very softy.
"What did you say?" The Manager growled.
"I won't kiss him!"
"You've given yourself to others while I watched. What's so different if it's Tsuyoshi?"
"He's my friend. I won't have sex with him." The youngster growled. "I don't want to be with him!"
"I don't care." the Manager was getting angry, very angry. He slapped Okada hard in the face. "I want to see the both of you together. So you'll be together!"
"I won't do it."
"How dare you refuse me! You're my pet!" the Manager punched Okada. The teenager fell to the floor.
"I'm not a pet! I'm a boy! I'm sick of you treating me this way!" Okada yelled.
The Manager took a cane rod off the dresser. He hit Okada in the back with it. Tsuyoshi watched in horror as his friend was hit over and over with the rod. The young man curled up in a ball, screams of pain emitted from his lips every time he was hit.
'The Manager stopped for a moment. "Will you do as you're told?"
"I'll do anything you want me to, as long as it doesn't involve Tsuyoshi." Okada vowed.
The Manager grabbed Okada. He pulled him to the closet.
The Manager tied his wrists, an
The manager turne
"I've been looking forwards to it." Tsuyoshi plastered on a fake smile.
It had been twenty-four hours since the manager ha
After the servant left, Tsuyoshi had gotten off the bed. The chains that held him were so long that he could walk to the closet. He sat down on the floor beside it.
"Junichi, can you hear me?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Yeah," the young man sai
"Why are you refusing to do what he asks?"
"You're my friend."
"If I wasn't your friend, would you do as he wanted?"
"I know what you’re going to say. I can't pretend we're not friends. I betrayed you once. I won't again." Okada promised. "He can keep me here my whole life, and it won't change the way I feel."
Tsuyoshi was surprised by Okada's loyalty. "What happens when he gets back?"
"He'll beat me again."
"Why are you resisting him?" Tsuyoshi asked. "We both know it hurts more if you do."
"I'm tired of him hurting me." Okada confessed. "I want to have a normal life."
"Our lives aren't normal. They'll never be normal." Tsuyoshi paused. "We're little more then animals."
"Don't you remember before all this began?" Okada asked. "You weren’t afraid of being hurt. You didn't sleep in the closet."
"That was before." Tsuyoshi said softly. "We can't go back. I'll never be a virgin again. I'll never have Koichi back. I've done too much to him to ever be forgiven."
"Koichi’s the one man who would understand what you're going through." Okada told him. "He'll stay at your side."
"I can't have sex with you, an
"You're my friend. I can't see you get hurt either." Tsuyoshi paused. "Please Junichi. I can't see you beaten again. It would be my fault. I can't handle it."
"You'll remember. You won't be able to forget."
"Why don't we agree that what happens here is only a dream? We won't hold it against each other." the older teen suggested.
"Can you do that? Really? Shingo wont' find out and beat me to a pulp?"
"No one will know. I won't tell Koichi, I won't tell Sakamoto." Tsuyoshi vowed. "I promise I won't tell Shingo!"
"It will be a dream." The teenager repeated.
"Why don't we close our eyes during it, and pretend we're the ones we love." He suggested. "I think that would be the only way I would be able to perform."
"Yeah, me too." Okada admitted.
Just then the Manager came into the room. "What are you doing out of bed?"
"I was talking to Okada."
The Manager grabbe
"Yes Master." Tsuyoshi did as he was told.
The Manager turned on the video camera. He then opene
"Yes Master. I will." Okada's hands and feet where untied. Lastly, the tape was pulled off of his eyes.
"Now prove it! Kiss Tsuyoshi!" The Manager ordered.
Okada went to the bed. He bent down, kissing his friend.
Koichi knew that something had happened. In the two weeks that went by many of his dorm mates had visited him, but Tsuyoshi was noticeable in his absence. If they hadn't exchanged letters almost every day, it would have been unbearable. He looked down the cast on his arm. All of his visitors had signed it. He had left a space for Tsuyoshi.
Leader was the one that took Koichi back to the dorms. He could see Tsuyoshi watching from his bedroom window. His friend looked lost and lonely. Even so far away, Koichi couldn't help but notice the bruises on his friend's face.
"What happened?" Koichi asked as he got out of the car. "Tsu-chan has a black eye."
"I suppose he does." Leader sounded distracted.
"Did he get into a fight?"
"That doesn't make any sense. Why do I have to be careful around him?" he asked confused.
"In the time you've been gone a lot of things have
happened." Leader trie
"The letters. I knew there
was something going on when I rea
"His heart belongs to you." the leader said. "But his heart has been hurt. Right now he's in a lot of pain."
"Is it because we had a fight? What I sai
"He knows that." Leader took a deep breath and let it out. "Tsuyoshi is our Managers new favorite."
"No, oh my god, no." Koichi closed his eyes for a moment. His worst nightmare had come true. His best friend was now the Manager's favorite. "Why? Why would he take Tsuyoshi?"
"I think at first he wante
"Okada was called for at the Hospital. The next day, someone came to get Tsuyoshi." Leader explained. "He came back the next morning. He had been raped."
"So Okada betrayed us." Koichi trie
"You should know that Okada's your new room mate."
"Great, just great. I have to live with the boy who caused Tsu-chan pain. I bet it was the Manager's idea, wasn't it?" Koichi said frustrated.
"Who else would it be?" Leader trie
"You can't be with Tsuyoshi anymore." Leader warned. "I'm serious. If anyone asks, you've broken up."
"We've broken up." he repeated.
"If you want to stay with Tsuyoshi, you have to break up with him."
"That makes no sense." He gasped. "None of this makes any sense."
Leader gave a sad smile. "Does anything here?"
Koichi walked slowly to his room. He wasn't sure if
"Come in." Tsuyoshi said without looking up.
The door opened. Koichi came in, shutting the door. "I'm back."
"Welcome back." Tsuyoshi picked up a stack of
his clothes. He was putting his things in a box. For the first time Koichi
"What are you doing?" Koichi trie
"I was supposed have moved before you got
back." Tsuyoshi trie
"Are there new rules about us?"
"Many new rules." He smoothed back his hair. It was dirty, as was the clothes he was wearing. Even that had changed in his friend. Gone was the well groomed friend. What stood before him was a shell of Tsuyoshi.
"Do you agree with them?"
"Of course I don't agree with the new rules." Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I didn't get a choice. The only way I can keep you is if I agree with them"
"I understand." He said softly. "Did our Manager do that to your face?"
Tsuyoshi flinched. Then he put the clothes he was holding
in the box. "I ha
"Did he hurt you?"
With trembling fingers, Tsuyoshi touched his face. "Punishment always involves pain."
"I mean did he rape you?"
"The Manager owns me. He has a right to do what ever he wants to with my body." A tear trickled down Tsuyoshi's cheek. "I wanted you to be my first."
"What our Manager di
Tsuyoshi backed away from him. "Don't touch me!"
Koichi stepped back several paces. He raised his good hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you."
Tsuyoshi went back to packing. Koichi realize
"I'll never touch you without your permission." Koichi vowed.
Tsuyoshi looked at him. "Are you sure?"
"I know everything you're going through, because I've gone through it too." he told him. "My hell is yours."
"That's what the past two weeks have been. I'm suddenly living in hell." Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I don’t want to live there anymore. I want my pain to go away. I want to be able to have you touch me without being afraid."
"I'll stay your partner even if I'm never allowe
"Are you sure?" Tsuyoshi put the box on the floor and sat down.
For the first time, Tsuyoshi looked into his eyes. "Are you sure you still want to be with me?"
"Not still, forever." he paused. "You're my best friend."
The door opened. Okada came in. "Tsuyoshi you forgot the new rule?"
"What rule?" Koichi asked suspiciously.
"The two of you aren't allowed in the same room alone, unless the door is open." The teenager told him.
"You going to tell on us again?" he demanded.
For the first
time, he realize
"There is always a choice! Look at Tsuyoshi! He's been hurt! It's your fault!" The anger he felt at Tsuyoshi's treatment came out in full force. He began to go towards Okada.
Tsuyoshi reached out and grabbed his partner's arm. "You don't understand."
"He destroyed our lives!" He trie
"You haven't hear
"Our Manager hurt you because of him. What else is there to know?"
"There's a lot more. Junichi-I mean Okada supported me through off of this." Tsuyoshi told him. "He's a friend. I trust him."
"He's the one who told on you." Koichi trie
"Koichi, I've forgiven him. I think you shoul
"It's okay, I deserve what Koichi says. I did destroy your lives!" Okada took off his shirt; he tossed it in the hamper. Then he went to the closet. The younger man's back was crossed with strap marks. He took out a t-shirt and pulled it on. "I'll go back downstairs to study. I won't' tell on you."
"Do you think that you where the only favorite that he beat?" Tsuyoshi said. "I've seen his being tortured. I don't blame him for what he did."
"Our manager can't quite forgive me for not being you." Okada stopped at the door. "Besides, I'm getting older. I'm being punished for that."
"You're only fifteen!"
"I don't like telling on you. Sometimes though, it's
the only way to en
"You're like me." Koichi realized. The anger he felt faded. "I didn't realize."
"How can I be like you?"
"When I was your age, I was beaten into telling on
two of the members of Smap." Koichi confessed. "They use
"No one trusts me. Even some members of my own group
"I forgive you." Koichi said.
"How can you forgive me?"
“I know what you are going through." Koichi tol
"I'm your frien
"Thanks. I'll stay downstairs for two hours. I won't be able to tell on what I don't see, now can I?" With that, Okada left.
Tsuyoshi sat on his bed with Koichi. He couldn’t' help
but stare at his friend. His friend had a cast on his left arm that went up
past his elbow. He no longer ha
"Do I look strange?" Koichi finally asked.
"I think your nose looks better now then before it was broken." Tsuyoshi told him.
Koichi couldn't help but smile. He reached up, touching
it. "It use
"Can I touch it?" Tsuyoshi asked. Koichi nodded. He reached out, touching his best friend's nose. Then his hand went to Koichi's cheek. He had an overwhelming urge to kiss Koichi. He kissed him very gently.
Koichi pulled away from him. "Don’t' rush things Tsu-chan. You have to give yourself time."
"You're right." Tsuyoshi agreed. "What about you're broken rib? Does it bother you?"
"Not as much as my arm. I can't scratch it." Koichi paused. "Would you sign it for me?"
Tsuyoshi couldn't help but smile. "Be gla
"Do you have a marker?"
Tsuyoshi got up and went the desk; he got out a permanent marker. Koichi pointed at the blank spot. He wrote "Partners forever." and signed his name. Then he sat back down.
"Why don’t' we work on homework tonight?" Koichi suggested. "I've got a lot of homework to catch up with."
"I can't, I have other plans." Just thinking of
what the Manager had planned for Tsuyoshi made the teenager’s chest feel tight.
He found it har
"That's okay, perhaps tomorrow night."
"I promised I would break up with you." suddenly Tsuyoshi felt as if he was choking. He gasped for breath.
"We've broken up. If anyone asks me, I'll tell them I'm not interested in you."
"I see," Tsuyoshi felt like a fool. He should
*Not now!* Tsuyoshi told himself. His body didn't listen to him. His breathing became labored. *Don't panic, don’t panic!*
"Tsu-chan, are you okay?" Koichi asked concerned.
Tsuyoshi went to the window; he move
He could hear Koichi getting off the bed. "Tsu-chan."
"I don't want to break up with you. I want you to be
at my side." He grasped at his chest as he trie
"You're having a panic attack." Koichi realized.
All Tsuyoshi could do was nod. Koichi went to the drawer that Tsuyoshi had kept his paper bags in. Koichi took one out and prepared it for him. Then his friend knelt down beside him.
"Breathe into this." He presse
"Why are you being so nice to me? We've broken up." he put the bag over his mouth. He began to breathe into it.
"Please let me touch you," Koichi said. "I just want to hold you. I won't hurt you."
Tsuyoshi nodded. Koichi put his right arm around Tsuyoshi's shoulders. "I'm sorry. What I said didn't come out right." Koichi began to stroke his hair. "I have to say that we've broken up. But we'll know the truth. We're together, and we love each other."
As soon as Tsuyoshi's breathing stabilized, he remove
"I feel safer now you're back." Tsuyoshi's breathing became labored again. He put the bag back against his mouth, and breathed into it.
"Don't rush it Tsu-chan." Koichi whispere
A few minutes passed, and Tsuyoshi realized his breathing was back to normal. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to panic like that."
"Why are you still afraid?"
"The Manager's going to call for me tonight." Tsuyoshi couldn't keep the despair out of his voice. "I'll probably be gone all night. I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you."
"How many times has it happened?"
Tsuyoshi looked away from him. "I've been called for a total of fourteen times. I don't know why our Manager calls for me. He says I'm too old. Then he beats me for being too old."
"He's hurting you to punish me." Koichi told him.
"I want to die when he touches
"I can make it so he'll never hurt you again." Koichi kissed Tsuyoshi's forehead. "Would you like me to do that?"
"I'm little more then an animal. He'll never stop using me."
"You're not an animal. You're a man!" Koichi said firmly. "You're the man I love."
Tsuyoshi was comforted by his friend's touch. Their lips met. The kiss was soft, gentle,
comforting. Tsuyoshi touche
"You're not a whore." Koichi insisted. "It doesn't count unless it’s your choice."
"I think I love you more now. You understand what I've gone through." Tsuyoshi gave him another kiss, this one as gentle as the first.
Finally Koichi pulled away from him. He looked into Tsuyoshi's eyes. "No matter what happens in the future, remember that I love you. I'll always protect you."
Two days had passed since Koichi's return. In that time, Tsuyoshi hadn't been called for. Tsuyoshi sat on his bed in his new room doing his homework. He had been very busy trying to make up all the homework he hadn't completed as favorite. He hated his new room. He had to share it with Myake Ken. The nicest thing that the younger teen called him was a whore.
There was a knock
at the door. Thankful he had a break from his homework; he got up and answered
it. It was Leader. "Tsuyoshi, you
"What's wrong?" "
"If you don't get downstairs right now, it might be too late!" Leader insisted. "Koichi's leaving the dorms forever. You have to talk to him!"
"On my way." Tsuyoshi ran to Koichi's room. , his partner had a box on his bed. Koichi was going through a drawer, piling things on the dresser. Tsuyoshi fought down a bit of panic. Leader had been right, Koichi was leaving.
Tsuyoshi stopped in the doorway. "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? I'm packing." Koichi put clothes in the box. "Before you ask, I'm not quitting the group. I just have a new place to stay."
"Where are you going?"
"What does it matter?" Koichi countered. "It's none of your business where I live."
The comment hurt Tsuyoshi. "I'm your partner. I nee
Koichi stopped for a moment. A look of pain crossed his face. "I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand."
"We have rehearsals and school. Will you be there?"
"I'll be there for anything the Kinki Kids do." Koichi began to pack again. "I am getting a private tutor for school."
Tsuyoshi couldn't believe his ears. "You're going to have a private tutor? You're quitting school?"
"Stay out of my life!" With his good hand,
Koichi ran his han
"You were with the Manager last night." Tsuyoshi gasped.
"I've seen the light, its better if I'm with him then you."
"How can you say that?" Tsuyoshi asked. "I love you."
Koichi flinched. "Don't ever say that again. It's over between us. Don’t' try to talk me out of it. I've made my choice."
Tsuyoshi fought back the tears. Koichi had broken up with him. Tsuyoshi took off his ring. "You'll want this back."
"Keep it; I have no use for it." Koichi said coldly.
Okada came running into the room. "It's true; I can't believe it's true."
"What's true?" Tsuyoshi demanded. "Can someone please tell me what's going on?"
"There was a honk outside. Koichi threw the last pile of clothes in his box. "That's my ride. I'll send for my other stuff."
"Koichi, what's going on? Tsuyoshi demanded. "Why did you break up with me?"
"Good bye." Koichi picked up the box with his good arm, and left.
Tsuyoshi went to the window, Koichi at his side. In the
driveway was as limo. When Koichi arrived,
the driver jumped out an
Tsuyoshi watched his friend drive off. He then said. "I don't understand."
Okada picked a letter off Koichi's bed. "He left a
letter, it's addresse
Tsuyoshi took the letter. With trembling fingers he opened it.
When I came home, and saw how hurt you were, my heart broke. The man I loved had changed into something that I barely recognized. There is a pain in your heart, a pain that has destroyed your spirit. Your pain is my fault. A year ago, our Manager asked me to move into his mansion. I refused. He took the chance of my being in the hospital to punish me through you.
I went to the Manager the night of your return. I've made
a deal with him. If I move into the mansion, he will leave you and Okada alone.
I am not a virgin. I've been with many men. I'm use
I must break up with you to save you. We will never be together again. There will still be a KinKi Kids, but now we will only be partners. No longer friends, no longer in love with each other.
I know you will hate me for this. I hate myself for doing this. But I'll be able to see you free. You'll go back to being the man I fell in love with. Your soul will recover, and I'll see your smile again.
In time, you'll forget me. You'll find someone else to love. The man you love won't bring you the pain that I have. I will go back to hell so that my prince will be free.
I will wear your ring. It will remind me of my first love, my only love. The love I've given everything up for.
I do love you. I'll never stop loving you.
"Do you know what this says?" Tsuyoshi asked.
"Koichi told me his plans this morning." Okada sat down on his bed. "I didn't believe him until the limo arrived."
Nagase came into the room. "What's going on?"
"Koichi moved out." Tsuyoshi sat down on his lover's bed. "He left a letter."
Let me see."
Tsuyoshi handed him the letter. Nagase sat down beside him and read it. "I was wrong. He does love you."
Tsuyoshi felt confused. "If Koichi loved me, why would he do this?"
"If Koichi didn’t love you, he would allow you to go on hurting." Nagase explained. "But seeing your pain wounded his soul. He's giving his happiness up to save you."
"Koichi's keeping your ring. That means he still loves you." Okada told him.
"We'll no longer be together." Tsuyoshi said sadly.
"Would you rather be with Koichi, and be hurt by the Manager every night?" Nagase countered. "Koichi gave you a gift. No one will ever touch you again without your permission."
His friend’s words sunk into Tsuyoshi. He would never be hurt again. Koichi had kept his promise.
"Koichi's wrong. I don't hate him. What he did made me love him more." Tsuyoshi took the Koichi's ring off his right index finger, and placed it on his left. "I'll wear it this way. Perhaps without saying anything he'll realize that I'll wait for him."
"Koichi and I are working on a drama together." Junichi said. "I could deliver a note to him."
Tsuyoshi nodded. "Can I borrow some paper?"
Okada took a notebook and a pen out of his desk. "I'll be sure he gets it."
Tsuyoshi sat down at the desk and began to write. He couldn't help but notice his friends grabbed mangas and sat down on one of the beds.
When you say that we've broken up, you're wrong. Officially we are broken up, but our hearts
know better. You will live in my heart.
When you are feeling down, look at my ring. It's a sign that there is someone
waiting for you. I have faith that
someday you'll be allowe
We are suppose
You might not be with me, but we'll always be together.
I'll wait for you.
Tsuyoshi tore the paper out of the notebook. Then he
folded it up. He put "To Koichi' on the outside. He got up, and hande
Okada nodded. "I will."
"Thank you." With that, Tsuyoshi left the room. He looked down to Koichi's ring. "We'll be together again."