The Park Part three

Author: Sentaikat aka Kyoko Godaikun

Authors email: Kyoko_godaikun@yahoo.com

Archiving: Do not archive without express permission from the author.

 

 

The six weeks since his release from hospital passed slowly for Junno. It simply meant that he had to stay at home without stepping out of his new apartment without permission. He spent a lot of time watching TV. The group was still busy. He couldn't keep his mind off of Ueda. They had been together only twice. Junno wondered if his lover had waited for him.Then the news came from Hasejun, that Ueda had a new lover, and was living with him. Junno's heart broke that day.

 

He hadn't seen Ueda in person the entire time. Management had kept them apart. Junno still didn't understand why he couldn't see his group. Why it had suddenly became forbidden to see them. Had management decided to replace him? He was worried about it.

 

There where only two juniors he saw regularly, his roommate Hasejun, and Hasajunís new lover Kaza.Junno had been allowed to move out of the dorms and into an apartment. It was very cramped, but he had always hated living in the doors.

 

Hasejun came in from a taping. His new PA put his things in his bedroom and left. That was something also new, the fact that the assistants seemed to leave Junno alone. Almost as if he was a non-person.

 

"How was work?" Junno asked.

 

"Glad it's over." Hasejun smiled.

 

 

"Did you see him?"

 

"See who?" Hasejun sat down on the easy chair.

 

"How is Ueda?"

 

"He looks good."

 

"Did he give you any messages for me?"

 

"No nothing, sorry." Hasejun picked up the remote and began to change the channels on the TV. "Now that he has someone else, you can't really expect him to write all the time."

 

"You're right." Junno tried to hide his disappointment. It had been ten days since the last note by Ueda. Hasejun had been on several shows with Ueda. Junno had been getting at least one not every time Ueda and Hasejun had worked together. Since they were working on a drama together, that had been often. But the notes had stopped the day Ueda had moved in with his new lover.

 

*He's moved on,* Junno realized. *I'm a whore, I should be used to this.*

 

*Why does it hurt?*

 

Junno picked a stack of fan letters up. Most of them where get well cards. The agency had invented a story about Junno being injured. According to them he had knee surgery.

 

He opened up one letter; it was from a teenaged girl, saying she couldnít wait to see Kat Tun whole again. She had glued a photo from Wink Up on the page; it was of the six members Kat Tun. He reached out, touching the image of Ueda.

 

*Perhaps it would have been different if I hadn't been hurt.* Junno told himself.A tear rolled down his cheek and landed on the photo.

 

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

 

Hasejun had set everything up. He thought of himself as almost a Santa Claus. He had found happiness since he had been freed. He just wanted his roommate to have the same happiness.He thought himself responsible for Junno becoming a prostitute, so in a way, this would pay him back.

 

 

 

He found Junno in the living room, moping. He was watching TV. Hasejun noticed that he was watching the weekly Kat Tun tape, which the agency supplied to him. It contained all of the groupís appearances for the past week. Junno watched a cm with Ueda, and then he paused and rewound it. Over and over he watched the cm. As he did, he listened to Tacky and Tsubusa's single "True Heartsí.

 

If only he could tell Junno the truth. Even so, he knew that in an about two hours, Ueda would arrive, and Junno would smile again.

 

"Are you sure Jin didn't give you anything to give me?" Junno asked sadly.

 

"Sorry," Hasejun lied. He couldn't tell his roommate the truth, that Ueda had given Hasejun many letters. It would have spoiled the surprise, since Ueda wrote about the surprise in the letters. He knew that Junno would forgive him once he had gotten his surprise. He tried not to think of what Ueda would do. He knew that Ueda would be furious when he found out that Hasejun had made up another lover for Ueda.

 

"He's probably moved on," he paused. "Do you know if he has a new boyfriend?"

 

"I all ready told you, he's living with someone." Hasejun said truthfully, not telling him Ueda only had a roommate, not a lover.

 

"Thanks," Junno turned off the TV. He looked like he was going to cry, again. Junno had cried a lot in the ten days Hasejun had stopped delivering the notes.

 

"I know what you need." Hasejun decided.

 

"I need Tatsuya," he moaned.

 

"Darling, you've got to get over him."

 

"I know, but I can't stop loving him."

 

"You need a make over." Hasejun smiled. "If you look good, you'll feel good."

 

"Why should I dress up? I'm not going anywhere." Junno said glumly.

 

"We could go out as girls." Hasejun suggested. "I know this great place..."

 

"You're not suggesting we go to the park."

 

"You have got to be kidding, weíre free," Hasejun reminded him. "I though we could go out to eat."

 

"What would Kazapon say if he knew we where going out?"

 

"He doesn't care! Come on, letís get you ready." He took Junno's hand and guided the unwilling friend into the bedroom.

 

********************************

 

Thirty minutes later, Junno sat in Hasajunís room, wearing his favorite red bra and panties under a silk robe.Hasejun was going through his closet, desperately trying to find something that would make someone as down as Junno look good. "Now where is it?"

 

"I'm not sure I should dress up." Junno sighed. 'What if we get caught?"

 

"No one will catch us." Hasejun pulled out Junno's favorite black dress. "Here you are, hiding from me."

 

"That's my dress." He gasped."You expect me to borrow something you stole from me?"

 

"You gave it to me as a gift!"

 

"No, I said you could wear it one time to the park, and you never gave it back." Junno snatched the dress from Hasejun. He took off his robe and put it on. "See, I look much better in it then you do."

 

"I look like Audrey Hepburn it."

 

"You do not!"

 

"Kazachan says I do."Hasejun smiled at his friend. "Please let me have it back when you're done with it."

 

"I'll think about it."

 

"If you don't, I'll tell Tat-Chan you've got a thing for his tits." he threatened.

 

"Tatsuya already knows about that." Junno smiled, as if remembering a pleasant memory.

 

The timer on Junno's hot rollers beeped. That was something else Hasejun had borrowed, Hasejun smiled. "All ready to do your hair."

 

"Why did you have to steal my hot rollers? You have short hair.""

 

"Kazachan loves to use them."

"I want those back too." Junno moved towards the curlers. "I guess I better curl my hair."

 

"You will not" Hasejun shoved Junno back into his seat. . "I'm making you feel special, so I do your hair."

 

"All right," Junno agreed with some trepidation.

 

Hasejun rolled Junno's hair in curlers. Hasejun always adored making over Junno. He was much prettier then Hasejun.

 

Then Hasejun decided he better dress up too. He picked out his favorite dress, put it on, and then did his make up. While he did, Junno moped again.

 

"I wish I could be dressing up for Tatsuya," Junno sighed.

 

"You'll never do that again. He has a new boyfriend.Ē Hasejun began to go through his make up case. "You need to look like a knock out."

 

"We're just going out to eat." Junno reminded him.

 

"So? Why can't you look beautiful when youíre eating?" Hasejun picked out some make up. He began to put foundation on Junno's face. "Just close your eyes and pretend you're going out with Ueda."

 

Junno didn't' say anything. Just sat there while Hasejun did his face.

 

A few minutes later, He took out Junno's hot rollers and brushed Junno's hair. Then Hasejun took a good look at him. "Eyeliner! I forgot to line your eyes."

 

"Itís okay,"

 

"You can't go without eye liner."

 

"All right," Junno closed his eyes, and let his friend apply liner to his eyes.

 

The doorbell rang. Hasejun ran to answer it. Junno closely followed. It was Kaza.

 

"Oh Jimiko, you look beautiful," Kaza smiled, he kissed Hasejun gently on the lips. Then he looked at Junno. "WOW! You look great."

 

"Thank you," Junno still looked depressed.

 

"Why don't you go out with us tonight? he suggested.

 

Hasejun elbowed his boyfriend. "You're mine!"

 

"Can't I appreciate someone lovely?"

 

"No! You can't!" Hasejun couldn't hide his jealousy.

 

"Ready to go out?" then he leaned over, and whispered in Hasajunís' ear. "He'll be here within thirty minutes."

 

"Let me get my purse," Hasejun grabbed his purse off the end table.

 

"I thought we where going out," Junno said.

 

"I forgot all about my date with Kaza-Chan," Hasejun smiled. "Perhaps tomorrow night,"

 

"Yeah, perhaps."Junno said depressed.

 

 

 

*********************

 

 

Ueda was nervous. It had been six weeks since he saw Junno, six long and painful weeks. But he had news, the very best of news. Junno had requested that he move into Junno's new apartment, and management had granted the request.

 

As soon as Ueda had gotten the news. He had thrown things into his largest gym bag. Then he took a taxi to the new apartment. He could wait to pack. He could do that later. He had to see Junno.

 

He took a taxi to the apartment; the doorman greeted him, and gave him a residentís keycard. He had already gotten the key to the new apartment.

 

 

Ueda unlocked the door to the apartment and went in. He changed into the slippers that Junno had left out for him.

 

Junno wasn't in the living room. Was he even at the apartment? He noticed the stack of fan letters. One was open. There where tear stains on it.

 

He didn't understand why Junno wanted Ueda to live with him. Why didn't Junno hate him? He blamed himself for Junno's injury. If he had been watching Junno more carefully, then Ishikawa wouldn't have tried to kill him. But still, day after day, Hasejun delivered cheerful letters from Junno. Letters that made Ueda believe that perhaps Junno had forgiven him. Then suddenly the letters stopped. Ueda still wrote to Junno, hoping that one day Hasejun would deliver another letter to him.

 

The door to the bedroom opened, and Junno came in. He was dressed in a black dress, his make up was exquisite. He was beautiful, very beautiful. He stared at the intruder. "Tatsuya, what are you doing here?"

 

"When I got the news, I came right over."

 

"What news is that?" Junno smiled nervously.

 

"Hasejun didn't tell you." Ueda set his bag on the floor. "They gave me permission to move in today."

 

Hasajunís moving out next week." Junno told him. "He told me that he would find me another roommate. I guess that's you."

 

"Where is he going?"

 

"He's moving in with Kazapon."

 

. I thought my moving in was your idea." His mind began to race. Had Junno forgiven him? Had the letters simply been a fantasy.

 

"No, it wasn't."

 

Ueda flinched. "Hasejun said you wanted to live with me. He arranged all of this. If you don't want me here, I'll move back into the dorms.

 

"I didn't say that! I want you to live with me, it's just...." Junno looked away from him, his nervous smile grew wider. Why was Junno so nervous?

 

Ueda decided to change the subject. "You're even more beautiful then our first time together."

 

"Thank you." he smoothed down his dress.

 

"Do you still have the red dress?"

 

"You mean the one I was wearing..."

 

"Yes, during our first time."Ueda finished his sentence. "I think that's my favorite of all your dresses."

 

"Yes, I still have it." Junno admitted.

 

"Perhaps you can wear it sometime for me."

 

"If you want." Junno smiled in his discomfort.

 

"What's bothering you?"

 

"Nothing, really." Junno was hiding something.

 

"I looked forwards to your notes. Why did you stop writing me? I wrote and wrote to you, but you stopped answering me."

 

"You stopped writing me." Junno said. "It's been ten days since I've gotten a letter from you."

 

"I gave Hasejun two letters yesterday and one this morning." Ueda said confused. "Why would he stop delivering the letters?"

 

"I don't know," Junno said softly. "I thought you had moved on.Ē

 

"Why would you think that?"

 

"Hasejun told me that I needed to get over you." There where tears in Junno's eyes. "Does your new lover know your here?"

 

"What do you mean my new lover?"

 

"Your roommate." Junno corrected.

 

"Yeah, he knows I'm here."

 

"I missed you," A tear fell down his cheek.

 

Ueda went to him; he reached out and touched the tear. "I never stopped loving you."

 

Ueda realized he would have to prove his love. He kissed Junno very gently on the lips. He could feel his lover sigh, and then give into the kiss.

 

ďIs Hasejun coming back tonight?" Ueda began to nuzzle Junno's neck.

 

"Yeah, he'll bring Kazapon back here."

 

"Where will you be when that happens?" Ueda began to make little love bites on Junno's neck.

 

"In my bedroom." Junno said. "We do have separate bedrooms."

 

"So where do I get to sleep? The couch?"

 

"Theirs room on my floor."He said seriously.

 

Ueda stopped what he was doing, and pulled away from him. "I have to sleep on the floor?"

 

"Floors not good enough for you?" Junno countered.

 

"What about your bed? Whoís going to sleep in that?"

 

"I sleep on a futon."He took Ueda's hand. "I want to show you my room."

 

"All right," he agreed.

 

******************

 

 

Junno took Ueda to his room.The room was very small, only half the size of their dorm room. It was more like a walk in closet.

 

He watched as Ueda scrutinized the room. His eyes settled on Junno's photos. Hasejun had put them up while Junno was in the hospital. They comforted Junno.†† Junno's favorite part of Ueda's body showing in shirtless photos. But Ueda had someone else, and Junno realized that his love for him was only a fantasy.

 

Ueda didn't say anything as he looked at the photos.Junno began to feel very embarrassed.He realized he needed to make an excuse. "I suppose I look like a teenage girl with a crush on her idol."

 

"What do you mean?"

 

"My picture collection. It was a present from Hasejun" He couldn't help but smile embarrassed.."Sometimes just looking at your photo made me feel less homesick for you."

 

"I kept a note book with your pictures." Ueda admitted. "I carry it in my bag. When I miss you, I look at them."

 

Junno realized that he had to do something to keep them from being so uncomfortable, but what?

 

'Do the rest of the guys know I'm coming back?" Junno asked.

 

"Yes, you're formally rejoining the group in two days." Ueda said in a rush. "We have something planned..." then he stopped.ĒYou're not supposed to know."

 

"More surprises?" Junno smiled. '

 

"I can never keep secrets from you." Ueda smiled back. "The group's reserved a room at that onsen you love. We'll party, and they'll be no staff to tell us we can't drink."

 

"I see,"

 

"Will you be my date?"

 

"I'd like that." Junnoís smile grew wider.

 

"I think that's what I missed most about you, you're smile." Ueda kissed Junno again, this time very softly. Then he moved onto kissing Junno's ear. "I missed your ear." he said, before he sucked it in his mouth and began to nibble at it.

 

Junno felt a shiver of pleasure go through him. "Who told you about my ears?"

 

"Hasejun, he told me a lot of things." Again he bit down. "All your turn ons, all the things that make you almost come instantly. I could almost forgive him for not giving you my letters."

 

 

Junno suddenly wanted Ueda very much. He pulled away from Ueda, whose eyes were dark with desire. Then he slipped the dress off. Ueda's eyes settled on Junno's stomach. The mood seemed to shift in the room.

 

"Junno, are you sure you're fit enough to love?" Ueda asked concerned.

 

Junno looked down to his scar. It was still red and fresh. 'The doctor gave me some special make up to cover my scar. I had known you were going to visit, I would have put it on."

 

"I see," Ueda looked away from him.

 

"This isn't going to work is it?" Junno said almost heartbroken."Itís my fault, I should have been happy with just a kiss...Ē

 

"It's not you, it's me." Ueda said softly. "I promised to protect you, and you got hurt."

 

'That isn't your fault." Junno told him. "You got hurt too."

 

"Yes, it is my fault!" There was pain in Ueda's voice. "The doctor's were too busy caring for me to take care of you." A tear rolled down his face. "You almost bled to death in the waiting room, and it's my fault." Ueda began to sob.He collapsed onto the floor. "How can you love me after all this? I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

 

 

Junno got onto the floor with him. He then embraced Ueda, holding him close.

 

When Ueda was finished crying, he bent down, kissing Junno's scar. His lips lingered over it, tears dripped onto it. It felt strangely erotic to Junno.

 

"I want to see your scars." Junno told him.

 

Ueda pulled away from him and took off his shirt. His scars were also still red and fresh. One was on his right side, just below his rib cage. The other was on his lower back. Junno bent down and kissed the scar on Ueda's side. He felt Ueda shiver under his lips.

 

"My scars, their reminder of my failure." he said softly. "Please, don't kiss them. I don't deserve your love."

 

"Their sign of your being a hero." Junno sat up. "If you hadn't insisted on following me to the park, I would still be selling myself. You not only saved me, you saved all of Ishikawa's' stable."

 

"I'm not a hero; I'm simply someone who did what they had to do."

 

"That makes you a hero in my book." Junno kissed Ueda's lips softly. He felt his lover sigh, and then give into the kiss.

 

Then Ueda pulled away from him. "What does the room look like with the futon down?"

 

"Would you like me to show you?"

 

"Please,"

 

Junno went to the closet, he took the futon out. Jin went to his side, helping him get them out. They went about working on the futon, neither of them worrying about what would happen once it was down.

 

"You're right Junno; it is big enough for two." Ueda said almost shyly.

 

Junno knew that Ueda had found someone else, but Junno needed Ueda. He kissed him again, and then whispered. "There will always be room in my futon for you."

 

 

 

 

**********************

 

 

 

Afterwards, Junno held Ueda. His mind was racing. He had helped Ueda cheat on his new lover. Not only that, but he liked it.

 

"I don't want to let you go." Junno confessed. "I'm afraid I'll loose you again."

 

"I'm not going anywhere." he promised

 

"Are you going to move your new roommate in?'

 

"My new roommate?" he said in shock. "Who told you about him?"

 

"Hasejun, he said you where very happy."

 

"I wouldn't call it happy."

 

"Who is your new roommate?" Junno persisted.

 

"Why are you worried about my roommate?"

 

"I just want to know."

 

"It's Koki."

 

"He canít' live here," Junno suddenly let go of him. Koki was a friend of his, as much as he loved Ueda, he couldn't hurt his friend.

 

"I won't let him step foot in our apartment." He vowed. He kissed Junno gently.

 

"Can you sleep with me tonight?" Junno asked almost plaintively.

 

"Where else would I stay?" he took Junno into his arms, pulling his head onto his shoulder. Junno let himself fall to sleep. Knowing that this would be the only time he would fall asleep in Ueda's arms.

 

*******************************

 

The next morning, Junno woke to the sound of Ueda snoring softly in his ear. He decided that he had to find the letters that Ueda had sent him. Perhaps in those letters, Ueda had told him goodbye, and had explained about his new love Koki.He started looking around Hasajunís room. In a drawer under the bed were two bundles of letters fastened with rubber bands. He could read Ueda's handwriting on one. "To Taguchi Junnosuke."

 

Junno decided that he had to read the letters. He got his reading glasses off of his dresser and put them on. He turned the bedside light on, and then sat back down beside his sleeping lover. He opened the first letter.

 

"We filmed Shonnen Club tonight. It seemed strange that your not here. Even the audience knows it's strange. I saw Uchawas with your photo on it. It broke my heart when the producers came on stage and asked for them to be put up. It's like youíre a non person. You're a member of Kat Tun, without you we sounded terrible again.

 

After the filming Hasejun tells me wonderful news. News I still can't believe. He told me that you've asked management that I be your roommate. I wish I could see you right now, to hold you. To say yes, I'll move in with you. But my letter will have to be enough for now."

 

Junno read letter after letter of Uedas. Every one more and more depressed, with pleads for Junno to write back, just once. It broke Junno's heart reading them. None of them mentioned his other lover. It made Junno realize that perhaps there wasn't another lover.

 

Then he realized that Ueda was watching him. "What are you doing?"

 

"I found Hasajunís secret stash of our letters." He picked up a stack and handed it to Ueda. "Here are the ones you never got."

 

Ueda sat up; he took the rubber band off. Then he opened the first one. He smiled as he read it. "Why where you always so happy in your letters?"

 

"I wanted you to feel better." Junno told him.

 

"You did, every letter made me feel as if you where beside me." Ueda confessed. "Then they stopped coming. I felt as if my world was falling apart."

 

"I'm sorry Tat-Chan,"

 

Ueda went back to reading. He didn't say anything as he read the letters. Then with the last one, Ueda began to read out loud.

 

"Hasejun says I should get over you. But my heart can't forget you. I know our time together was brief. I can remember the dreams in the hospital, where you held my hand. How can I forget you? It hurts Tatsuya to see you on TV, and know that you've moved on. That there is someone else giving you the love we used to share. The doctor has told me I'll be cleared for work in a few days. How can I go back to work, and know I won't be with you? To work with you, and know you'll be with someone else when our work is finished.

 

It shouldn't hurt this much. I cannot be your friend anymore. I cannot simply pretend that nothing has changed with us. I think the thing that hurts the most if that I believed you would wait for me, and you didn't. When the publicity for my return dies down, I'm going to quit Kat Tun I listen to Tacky and Tsubusa's song "True Hearts" And I wonder, why did you stop loving me Tatsuya?"

 

"Did Hasejun tell you I found someone else?" Ueda looked at Junno, tears were in his eyes.

 

"He told me you moved on," Junno took off his reading glasses and put them on the bedside table. "That I should work on getting over you."

 

"Junno..."

 

"When we were together today, I helped you cheat on Koki." He felt his own tears fall. "But I had to have you just one last time.Ē

 

"You're the only one in my heart." again, Ueda wiped his face.

 

"Donít' tell Koki about us. You can't hurt him."Junno looked away from Ueda; the tears he had kept in began to fall. He felt Ueda take him into his arms.

 

"Koki's not my lover! Please, Junno, trust me." Ueda whispered over and over. "Hasejun lied to you I never stopped loving you."

 

"But you live with him." Junno insisted.

 

"We're just roommates."

 

Just then, Junno heard noises coming from the living room. He pulled away from Ueda. "Tatsuya, there's someone here."

 

"Stay there, I'll be right back." Ueda grabbed a robe and left the room.

 

Junno grabbed his own robe and followed Ueda into the living room. Hasejun and Kaza stood in the living room.

 

"We're back!" Hasejun said. "I decided to spend the night at Kazapon's apartment!"

 

Ueda went to Hasejun and punched him hard in the mouth. Hasejun fell to the ground.

 

"What is going on?" Kaza demanded. "I thought you where Jun's friend!!"

 

"That's before I found out the truth!" Ueda screamed. He punched Hasejun again. "Junno's your friend! How could you break his heart?"

 

"It was a little lie." Hasejun said softly.

 

"I read his last letter!" Ueda grabbed Hasajunís shirt and began to pound him over and over again.

 

Kaza tackled Ueda, pinning him to the ground. "What ever the hell Jun Chan did, doesn't mean you should beat him!"

 

"I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!" Ueda shouted. "Never do you understand me? You broke the heart of my first love with your lies!"

 

"Yes, I understand." Hasejun said meekly.

 

"Tell him the truth!" Ueda said. "Tell Junno the truth."

 

"What truth is that?"

 

Ueda lunged for Hasejun getting away from Kaza. He grabbed him by the shirt and shook him. "How could you do it to him?"

 

"Junno, why is Ueda so angry?" Kaza asked. "What on earth did Jun tell you?"

 

"For ten days, Hasejun told me that Tatsuya had found another lover." Tears stung his eyes. "When we made love, I thought I was helping Tatsuya cheat on a new lover. Then I found my beloved's letters."

 

"Did you really do that?" Kaza demanded.

 

"I'm sorry," Hasejun began to cry.

 

"Sorry? You think that your lies can be taken away by sorry?" Ueda demanded. "Junno has doubts about me now. How can I ever convince him that my other lover is simply your lies?" He let go of Hasejun and walked to the other side of the room. "You know how it's like to love Junno. How gentle His soul is. How could you hurt that soul?"

 

"Junno, Ueda had no other lovers." Hasejun confessed. "I am jealous of his unconditional love for you. So I lied to you."

 

"I can't forgive you." Ueda told him."I thought you where my friend, but you are nothing to me."

 

"Junno?" Hasejun asked.

 

"I need some time." Junno said.

 

"I understand." Hasejun went into his bedroom followed by Kaza.

 

***********************

 

Ueda stood in the corner of the living room, trying to calm down. He had lost everything by hitting Hasejun. He wasn't usually a violent person, but Junno being hurt was an exception.

 

 

"I'm sorry I doubted you," Junno said from behind him. "I know you'll never forgive me for not trusting you."

 

When Ueda didn't answer him, Junno turned and went to his bedroom.

 

Ueda went to his bag and took the small album out. He opened it to the first page. It was a photo of Junno and Ueda. Junno had his arm around Ueda, and he leaned against Junno. Kame had taken the photo of what he teasingly called 'the lovebirds." It was Ueda's favorite photo of them together.

 

 

He could hear through the thin walls Hasajunís crying, and Kaza trying to comfort him. He realized he did owe Hasejun some gratitude. He had been the one that had arranged for them to live together. But he still didn't understand the lying.

 

As Ueda calmed down, he realized he needed to go to Junno. He found his friend taking photos off of his bedroom wall, and placing them in a small box. He was crying as he did it.

 

"What are you doing?" Ueda finally asked.

 

"In a few days the assistants will be back," Junno explained. "I can't keep photos of you on my wall."

 

"What are you going to do with them?"

 

Junno took the last one off, and then closed the box. He put them in the closet. "What does it matter what I do with them? I no longer have need for them."

 

"Are you still going to quit the group?"

 

"I don't know," he admitted. He wiped the tears from his face.

 

"I'm not having an affair with Koki." Ueda told him. "He gets on my nerves. Besides, he's with Nakamaru."

 

"Koki and Nakamaru?" Junno repeated. "How long have they been together?"

 

"Koki told me that they've been together since almost the formation of the group." He noticed the framed photo on the desk, he picked it up. It was the same photo that Ueda had in his album."Do you remember the day we took this picture?" He set the photo back down. "That was the day that I realized that I wanted to spend my life with you."

 

"Then I took it all away by not trusting you."

 

"

 

"There's been no one else." Ueda came closer to him. "You're the only one."

 

"When you held me in my arms, I thought it would be the last time." The tears began to fall again. "I should have told you no, but I couldn't stop. I love you, I love you so much. I would have regretted my whole life if we hadn't had that one last time."

 

 

"No wonder you acted so strange," He said softly. "You thought I had another. But still, even then you couldnít' stop loving me."

 

"I was even willing to share you. I couldn't believe that you no longer loved me." Junno wiped his eyes. "What if I quit Kat Tun?"

 

"That wouldn't stop my love for you."

 

"When I started in the juniors, I really thought I would be a star. At first, I felt as if I really was one. On Hakada I even sang lead at the end song." Junno said softly. "But then all this happened and I realized, even if I stay in Kat Tun, I'll just be a back dancer for Kame and Jin."

 

"I saved to go to America, that money could give us a fresh start." Ueda tempted. "We could go anywhere you want."

 

"You'll just walk away from Kat Tun?"

 

"If it means I can spend my life with you, then yes. I will walk away."

 

"Do you really love me that much?>"

 

"Yes, I do."

 

Junno broke eye contact with Ueda. "I want to be an entertainer. Perhaps I won't be a star. But when we appear live, and I see the fans with my name on it. I work harder. For them I am a star, and that's enough for me."

 

"That's the reason I stay in the group." Ueda confessed. "Even if one person in the audience is there to see me that am enough."

 

"What if it's just one back dancer?" Junno looked at him. "What if that back dancer is so much in love with you, that you're his star?"

 

Ueda realized he was asking about their relationship. "Then I would be the luckiest one there. Because that back dance is my star."

 

Junno smiled the first real smile Ueda had seen since he had arrived at the apartment. A smile that lit his entire face. "Can you forgive me for not trusting you?"

 

"I can forgive anything my star does." Ueda couldn't help but smile back.

 

"Welcome home." Junno kissed Ueda.

 

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

 

 

 

 

After words, Junno held Ueda. He could feel his loverís lips lightly caressing his forehead. His nipples were sore from Junno's attentions, but he didn't care. It felt so good to have Junno love him again.

 

He could hear Junno's' stomach growl. It reminded Ueda that he too hadn't ate for a while.

 

"Are you hungry?" Ueda asked him.

 

"It doesn't matter." Junno denied.

 

"Why don't I fix us something to eat?" Ueda suggested.

 

"That sounds good."

 

Ueda got up, he picked up the cast off robe that was on the floor and put it on. He went into the living room/kitchen. He checked the rice cooker; there was all ready cooked rice in it.

 

Then he checked the refrigerator. There were vegetables in a bin. He started pulling them out and putting them on the counter. There was enough for a good stir fry.

 

He realized that Junno was watching him. Junno smiled. "Can I help?"

 

"Sure," Ueda couldn't help but smile back.

 

"You don't like eggs." Junno joined him at the refrigerator.

 

"Their not my favorite."

 

He felt Junno's hand on him, running across his back. "Did I ever tell you how sexy you look in my robe?"

 

"No, you didn't."

 

Junno closed the refrigerator door, and then he put a hand on Ueda's shoulder, turning him. Then he kissed Ueda. Ueda put his arms around him, kissing back. Then Junno pushed him against the refrigerator.

 

"Why can't I stop wanting you?" Junno said between kisses.

 

"I don't know," Ueda unfastened Junno's robe. His lover was excited again.

 

"I want inside you," Junno murmured as he unfastened Ueda's robe.

 

"Where?"

 

Junno gave a smile; he took Ueda by the hand and pulled him to a chair that stood right in front of the sink. Junno sat down on the chair, and then Ueda straddled his body, lowering himself onto Junno's hardness.Junno arched back and gasped. Ueda began to move himself up and down. He put his arms around Junno's shoulders, letting his hands get lost in Junno's silky hair.Junno's arms went under the robe, holding Ueda close, helping him move. He was hot, sweaty. He could feel the same from his lover. Ueda let his robe fall to the ground.

 

Junno kissed him as he loved him, and then his lips went to Ueda's neck. He began to suck and bite on Ueda's neck. Ueda would have a mark, but he didn't care. His mouth began to gasp in time to every thrust until his gasps turned into yelps then cries.

 

His hardness was wedged between Junno and his body, with every thrust, it rubbed against Junno. He was riding up a hill, one that was hard to get up. He let the feelings overcome him. Suddenly his world exploded, and he cried out Junno's name. He pushed himself down so that Junno was deeper inside of him. Then Junno too cried "Tatsuya,"

 

 

They held each other, gasping for breath. Ueda felt Junno soften and slide out of his body. Still, he didn't want to let go, didn't want to move away from his lover.

 

"Tatsuya, I didn't think looking for food would be such a turn on," Junno finally said.

 

"Oh it is?"

 

"You where picking out vegetables, and suddenly I had to have you," he kissed Ueda gently. "I love you so much."

 

"I love you too."

 

"I don't know what I'm going to do when we go back to work," he kidded. "How am I going to resist pulling you into a closet?"

 

"We can try out all of the closets," Ueda tempted.

 

There was a long pause between them. Then Junno said softly. "I no longer feel like a whore."

 

"You're not one."

 

"I know, now I'm just a man whoís madly in love with his leader." He reached out, touching Ueda's neck. "A leader who has a very large love bites."

 

"When we go to the party, everyone will know I'm yours." Ueda kissed him.

 

"I think the rice should be finished." Hasejun said as he came into the living room. "Oh, I see,"

 

"What is it?' Kaza asked.

 

Ueda got off of Junno, he fastened his robe. He began to straighten his hair.

 

Junno too got up and fastened his own robe.He looked into his lovers eyes. "Let me handle it this time."

 

Ueda nodded. ""All right."

 

Junno turned to his other roommate. "Sorry, we were just cooking some lunch."

 

'Yeah, right, cooking." Hasejun snorted. Then when Kaza glared at him he gave a short bow. "I'm sorry we interrupted you."

 

"It's all right," Junno put his arm around Ueda's shoulders. "We were finished."

 

"I made some rice." Kaza told them. "You can have some."

"Thanks," Ueda said.

 

"Junno, Ueda, I am sorry I lied." Hasejun told them. "It really didn't start as a lie, but turned into one. I just wanted the two of you to be able to live together."

 

"What do you mean?" Ueda asked.

 

"I didn't tell Junno that I was trying to get permission for you to live here because I was afraid he would get hurt if my request was turned down."

 

"I still don't understand why the agency would allow us to live together." Junno moved away a bit from Ueda.

 

Hasejun looked very embarrassed, and then he glanced at his lover. "Do you mind if I tell them?"

 

"You're going to have to." Kaza said. "They have the right to know."

 

"Since you're release from the hospital, I've been visiting Kitagawa-sama in the evenings." Hasejun explained. "I had to sleep with him to grant his favor. He's going to allow the two of you to live together and I move in with Kazapon."

 

Junno looked ill for a moment. "You're selling yourself again."

 

"It was for a good cause." Hasejun told him. "It's my fault that you were forced to work at the park. I've owed you a big debt for that." He turned back to Kaza, "I can't tell him the rest."

 

"What rest?" Ueda asked.

 

"I will," Kaza turned to Ueda and Junno. "Jun-Chan never stopped loving you Junno. When he found out that you had Ueda, he grew very jealous."

 

"I don't understand, he has you." Junno said.

 

"The way I love you is different from the way I love Kazapon." Hasejun said. "Kazapon is my rock, my strength. Junno-Chan is the pure innocent love that I experienced for a very brief time. My love with mixed with the guilt that I felt for making you a prostitute. But in my heart there is still Junno-Chan."

 

"So you lied because you loved me."

 

 

Hasejun nodded. Ueda suddenly felt very sorry for Hasejun. He also felt sorry for Kaza.

 

"What about you Kaza?" Ueda asked.

 

"I love Jun; I hope that some day, he'll love me as much as I love him." Kaza told him.

 

"I do love you," Hasejun looked as if he was about to cry. "You're my number one."

 

"I don't want to be number one; I want to be the only one."

 

"We can never be together again as lovers.Ē Junno told him. "But I consider you something else. Our tie is beyond family, beyond friendship."

 

"I feel the same way," Hasejun said.

 

"I forgive you for lying." Junno said.

 

"I'm sorry I beat you," Ueda apologized. "If I had known the truth, I would have understood."

 

"I deserve to be beaten." Hasejun tried to smile.

 

"The party tomorrow night, you have to be there Hasejun." Ueda said. "It won't be the same without the two of you."

 

Hasejun looked at his lover who nodded. "We'll be there."

 

************************

Ueda was wearing a black ukata, his love bite fresh on his neck.They where walking down the hallway of the onsen to the private room that had been rented. They where being taken to the room by a woman. She seemed to be very discrete, but Junno couldn't take any chances.

 

They had spent most of their off time together in bed. Junno had a hard time keeping his hands off of Ueda. Even as they walked, he wanted his lover again. He felt his mind race as he realized he couldn't even hold Ueda's hand.

 

"Remember this is supposed to be a surprise." Ueda reminded Junno for the hundredth time.

 

"I know that." Junno suddenly became serious. He stopped in the hallway. "I was wondering, what do they think happened?"

 

"You injured your leg when practicing a dance number." he told Junno. 'That's the official story."

 

"They know the truth, don't they?" Junno realized.

 

"Yes, they do." Ueda admitted. "But it doesn't matter to them."

 

"Theyíll say something."

 

"No they wonít." Ueda glanced at the woman taking them to the room. "The group is your friends. They'll keep your secret."

 

The door to the room opened. Jin looked very annoyed. "You're late for the taping."

 

"I'm sorry." Junno said.

 

"We got stuck in traffic." Ueda said helpfully. "The agency forgot to pick us up again."

 

"" Jin looked Junno over. "How's the leg?"

 

"I'm no longer limping." Junno told him. "I am sorry I gave the group trouble."

 

"It couldn't be helped." He paused. "You better come in."

 

Junno followed Jin into the room. The room seemed bare, except for Ueda and Jin. Then suddenly the rest of the group, plus other Johnnyís jumped out from under tables, yelling surprise!

 

"What's going on?" Junno looked at Jin pretending confusion. "I thought we had a taping."

 

"It's your welcome back party."Kame smiled.

 

"Did we surprise you?" Hasejun asked with a smile.

 

"Yes, you did!" Junno lied. "How many more surprises do you have for me?"

 

"That would be telling!" Kame told him.

 

Suddenly Junno found himself surrounded by people. All welcoming him back to the group. He looked at his lover, who motioned him to go on.

 

**********************

 

Ueda decided to leave the party and have a soak in the spring. His body ached from all the times that he had been with Junno. But he realized he would have to enjoy it. Because once they started working again, their times together would be few.

 

Four other members of Kat Tun were already in the hot spring. Nakamaru and Koki sat together; a few meters away sat Kame with his lover Jin.

 

"You look like you've been attacked by a vampire." Kame teased.

 

"Suppose I have."

 

Is everything all right now?"

 

"Our group wasn't the same without Taguchi-kun."

 

"What about the two of you?" Kame gave him a knowing grin. "Since he came back, have you talked to him much?"

 

"Junno had to rest."

 

'Let me guess, you helped."

 

"Didn't really get a choice did I? We're roommates."

 

A smile tugged at Jin's lips. "Sleep in the same room, do you?"

 

"Junno's room is very small. It only contains one futon."

 

After a few minutes, Junno came into the hot spring; he took off his ukata and went to Ueda. "How's the water?"

 

"Better now that your here." Ueda smiled at him.

 

Junno went a few meters away from Ueda, he slid into the water. Then leaned back onto the edge. Ueda wondered why Junno had sat so far away from him. He tried to make eye contact, but Junno looked away. He had a nervous grin.

 

"Glad your back," Maru told Junno.

 

"Yeah, and glad to get Ueda out of my room." Koki snorted. "Did you know he snores?"

 

"His snoring isnít' that bad. It's very soft." Junno said.

 

The rest of the group laughed. Junno suddenly turned very red, his nervous grin turned to one of embarrassment.

 

"What's the plan for your return?" Maru asked.

 

"Tomorrow I go into the dance studio to practice." Junno said. "The agency wants to make sure I still remember the routines."

 

Ueda went to where Junno was and plopped down beside him.

 

"Tatsuya, we agreed, we must hide our relationship." Junno whispered.

 

"In public, but this isn't public." Ueda reminded him. "We're among friends."

 

"You're right, we are." Junno put his arm around Ueda, and he found himself leaning into his lover.

 

"Before anyone asks, we're together." Junno told the group.

 

"We know," Nakamaru groaned.

 

"You should have heard him when you where gone," Koki told Junno. "Every other word out of Ueda's mouth was Junnosuke."

 

"And the pictures!" Nakamaru said. "He has a shrine to you all over his wall."

 

"You don't know how it's like to wake up to see pictures of you plastered everywhere." Koki said.

 

"Oh you have a shrine?" Junno looked into Ueda's eyes.

 

"A little one," he admitted.

 

Just then Hasejun and Kaza came into the hot spring area. They both shed their robes and got in together.

 

"Hey Hasejun, did you know that Ueda's got a shrine to Junno?" Koki teased.

 

"Really? Is it as big as Junno's shrine?" Kaza grinned.

 

"Junno has a shrine?"

 

"Yeah, it covers one whole wall of his room." Hasejun told them.

 

"It did," Junno said. "I took it down."

 

"Why would you do that?" Hasejun asked.

 

"Don't need it anymore. Got the real thing now." Junno grinned, this time it was a real smile.

 

Junno looked into Ueda's eyes and began to laugh. Ueda grabbed Junno and kissed him, not caring who saw. He was happy, for he finally had his lover back in his life.