Ueda dreamed, the same dream that plagued his nights and terrorized his days. The day that took away Ueda Tatsuya's innocence.


"I know you can do it." The teenaged boy said. He was acting as catcher. He was Ueda's first real boy friend. They had been best friends since Kindergarden, but recently their relationship had turned the the fumblings of a first love. 


Thirteen year old Ueda was practicing his new postion, pitcher. He shook out his arm, then threw a fast ball.


"That's wonderful!" his friend smiled at him.


"I shouldn't be  the pitcher. You should." Ueda insisted. " I like being the catcher."


Their team had once been a championship team. But that was before the neighborhood had gotten worse. Team members families were quickly moving out of the neighborhood. Now the team had the bare minimum of members, and everyone was practicing different posistions. If anyone else left the team, the team would have to desolve.


"Hitoshi-kun!" a group of girls who were watching to the side called. Ueda tried to fight down his jeliousy. Girls adored his boy friend, and his boy friend adored the attention.


His friend waved at them, then went back to practicing. He was used to being called Hitoshi, even though it wasn't the real way the Kanji in his name  was pronouced. His teachers had insisted that he be called that.


His friend went to Ueda, and whispered into his ear. "Don't you know you're the only one I want?"


"It's hard knowing that every girl wants you."  Ueda admitted.


"My parents are going out tonight," he said. "Why don't you ask your mom if you can spend the night? Tell her we need to study. I'll show you who I really want."


Study, their code word to be together. He smiled at his friend. "All right, I will. Let' study tonight."


There were older teens suddenly hanging around. Gang members. They had disrupted practice before. Ueda tried to ignore them. Perhaps they could have a few more minutes before they had to leave.


The coach came up to them. "How's he doing?"


"He's really good." His friend said. "He pitches much better then I do."


"Grab a bat, I'll catch this time."  The coach ordered.


His friend handed the coach his glove and picked up a bat. Ueda threw the first pitch, a strike.


Ueda was about to throw the second pitch, when a sound like a car backfiring rang out. The coach fell to the ground.


"Uncle!" His friend screamed. 


THere was another sound, and his friend fell.


"Get down!" Ueda ran towards his friend. He didn't hear the noise, just something like fire crashing through his leg. He felt the ground reach up and catch him. There were more shots. Ueda tried to get up, to run away, but his legs wouldnt' cooperate.


"Tat-chan," his friend came to him, holding his arm.  It was bleading.


"Your uncle."


"I think he's dead." his friend checked his leg. "We have to get out of here."


His friend helped him stand up, Ueda tried to move his legs but the shot one wouldn't cooperate. "I can't walk!"


There was another shot, this one grazing his friend's head. His friend fell unconsious on top of him. It took all of Ueda's strenght to push his friend off of him. His friend was bleeding from a wound on the back of his head. His eyes were unseeing.


 "You can't die! You're my best friend, you promised you wouldn't go away." Ueda reminded his friend.


Two gang members walked up to them. Both hand guns. One said. "We can't leave witnesses."


He aimed the gun at Ueda's friend's head. Ueda covered his friend's body with his own.  "Please, don't kill Jin."


Then gunman moved his hand so that the gun was pointing at Ueda. "See you in heaven."


"Don't shoot me!" Ueda screamed. Then a pain coursed through his back. Then everything went black.


The dream shifted, to a hospital room. With Junno at his side, holding his hand. He said things to Ueda, not all he understood. Most of the time, the only thing Ueda could hear was a song. It played over and over in his dreams. The song promised to love him forever. It was like a wierd twilight sleep. The bad dream would come back, but it was always taken away by the good dream, the one of his lover at his side.






Ueda woke. The dream, he had the dream again. But this time he knew it was only a dream. It was the past. He realized he was sick, even sicker then after the attack. Junno had been right, he did need help. Perhaps with help, the bad dream could go away. It could be replaced by the other dream, the one with Junno at his side.. With the song where Junno promised to keep on loving Ueda.


Ueda realized there was something  pressing  against his side. He opened his eyes. It was Junno with his head on the bed, snoring softly.  Ueda reached out and stroked Junno's hair. His friend's hair was dirty, Ueda wondered why his lover hadn't washed. He was also badly in need of a shave.


Junno's eyes open slowly. He sat up. His eyes look at Ueda concerned. "I'm sorry, I fell asleep."


"How long have you been here?"


"Five days, you where in a coma because of the blood loss." he took Ueda's hand. His lips kissed his fingers. 'What do you remember last?"


"Our having dinner together." His eyes settled on Junno's left wrist. He was wearing the chain that Ueda had bought for him. But he hadn't given it to him yet!  "How did you get that?"


Junno looked at the bracelet. "You gave it to me for my birthday."


"I don't remember," he said confused. "How can I forget something so important?"


"Do you remember breaking up with me?"


"No, I don't." Ueda said. "Why would I break up with you? I love you."


Junno fell silent, his lips again running over Ueda's fingers. Something was really bothering his lover.


"Did we break up?" Ueda finally asked.


"if you don't remember, then we didn't." Junno tried to soothe.


The answer confused Ueda. "Why am I in the hospital?"


Junno didn't answer. He looked away from Ueda and let go of his hand. Junno  looked down and adjusted a banadana that he had wrapped around his right wrist.


"I did something didn't I?" Ueda realized. "Something really bad."


"You had a flashback," Junno tried to reasure. "What you did wasn't really your fault."


"What did I do?"


"You broke up with me." There was pain in Junno's voice. "Then you cut your wrist."


"I don't remember," For the first time, he looked at his bandaged wrist. So much like the time before. He didn't remember the first time eather. But there was something majorly different. Junno had stayed at his side.  While Jin had left him.


"It's okay Tat-chan," Junno took his hand again. "It's best that you don't remember."


"I had dreams," Ueda said. "I dreampt that you were at my side for days."


"I was,"  Junno tried to smile. "I didn't leave you, even when the doctors came to examine you."


"You held my hand, I felt so safe." his eyes made contact with Junno's. 'What I said, I didn't mean. I don't want to break up with you."


"I know," Junno smiled sadly. "We're still together."


They spent some time just looking at each other. Then Junno leaned over, and kissed his lips softly. Ueda's eyes flickered shut as they kissed. Ueda parted his lips, and his lover was loving him gently with his tounge. Junno's kisses were always so loving, so special.  He hadn't kissed Ueda like this since Jin had left.


Reluctantly, Junno pulled away from him. He smoothed some hair out of Ueda's eyes. A gesture so kind, so loving that it almost made Ueda cry. Then he said with firm determation in his eyes. "I will be at your side forever."


"I love you so much." Ueda told him.


"I love you too." He smiled that smile that Ueda had missed. Gone was the sadness that had haunted his eyes. Then Junno was kissing him again.


There was a tapping on the door. Ueda looked up.


"Hey sleeping beauty," Kame came in smiling.


Junno pulled away from Ueda. "Ah man, I was about to seduce him!"


"Now Junno, you know you have to wait until he gets better," Kame teased back.


Ueda felt like he was missing something really big. Gone was the frostyness between Kame and Junno.  Friends, Ueda realized that suddenly the two of them were friends.


Junno pulled out his ketai and hand it to Kame. His friend went into the bathroom.


"Why does he have to use your ketai?" Ueda asked.


"He can't call Jin on his," Junno shrugged. "So I let him use mine."


"Jin," Ueda said softly.  "I should have realized he would be the one that misses him the most."


"What about you?" Junno asked. "Don't you miss him too?"


"Jin's my past." Ueda looked into his lover's eyes. "You're my future."


That made Junno smile a smile that lit up the room. Then he was kissing Ueda yet again.




The doctor came in soon after Kame left.  She annouced after examining him that Ueda needed tests. To see if there was brain damage because of the blood loss.  He would have to go to a mental hospital.


"I know why I'm going to the hospital. The real reason." Ueda told her. "When I was thirteen, I was diganosed with post tramatic stress disorder."


"Yes, your mother told me." She said.


"How long would he have to go?" Junno asked.


"Not long, probably a month at the most."


"But when I was a kid, I was in for over a year." Ueda told her. "I was given shock treatment. I don't want that again."


"You won't have to undergo shock treatment." The Doctor smiled. "Treatments for PTSD have changed in the past few years."


"I'll be fired," Ueda said softly.


"I've already discussed your case with Kitagawa-sama. He's agreed with your hospitalzation." She told him. "Officailly you'll be out of the country working on a movie."


"When does he leave?" Junno asked.


"In an hour." The doctor said. "Plenty of time to tell your lover goodbye." The Doctor left.


Junno went to the door and shut it. Ueda looked down to his bandaged wrist. "Will you wait for me?"


"Of course I would wait for you." Junno promised.  "Why woudln't I?"


"Jin didn't," he said softly. "I never told anyone, he was my first boy friend."


"Your first..."


"We were each others first." he shrugged. "That's why we didn't get along at when he joined the agency. I couldn't forgive him for moving on to someone else. He left me when I was in the hospital."


"The two of you were boys. A years a long time when you're thirteen." Junno said softly. "Almost an enterity."


"Yeah, it is."


 "I want to spend my life at your side. What's a few weeks to wait?" Junno kissed him. The kiss that Ueda always loved. Deep, but not passionate. A kiss that was as gentle as Junno soul was.


."You listened to your ipod a lot when I was sleeping." Ueda said. "A song kept going through my dreams."


"What song is that?"


"I don't know what it's called. But it's about someone who wants to keep on loving their lover." Ueda tried to explain. "You listened to it a lot."


"Yes, I did." He admitted. "It made me feel stronger for you."


"Can you sing it for me?" he asked. "Just leave out the lines about cheating. I never cheated on you."


"Sure," in his clear voice, Junno sang Keep On Loving You.  Tears rolled down his cheeks.


Ueda began to sing along with him he too was crying. 'When I said that I loved you, I meant that I loved you forever."


Junno stopped, he kissed Ueda. Their tears mixed as they kissed. Ueda knew he would miss Junno's kisses in the hospital.


"Give me your arm." Junno said when they finally broke away from the kiss.


Ueda held out his right wrist. Junno got up, and took something out of his pocket. He unfastened it, then put it around Ueda's wrist. It was a gold chain, they had talked about exchanging gold chains when they made a lifetime commitement to each other.




"When you're in the hospital, look at this chain." Junno said. "Remember when you get out, you'll have me waiting for you."


Then Junno was kissing him yet again. Ueda couldn't help but smile when he kissed. He had Junno, and he was very happy.



note: There is one more JunnoxUeda story planned. A nice Christmas Story with yaoi, lipstick and a happy ending!


Thanks for taking the time to read my stories.