Title: Ryo At The Window 1/3
Author: Kyoko_godaikun
Pairing: Ryo/Unnamed Kanjani 8 member
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: Ryo and another Kanjani 8 member are trapped in a small house during an ice storm.

 

It was my vacation. Not a vacation in the usually sense. I didnít pick an exotic place to visit with someone I cared for. This year I had decided I wasnít going to go anywhere. It was traditional for Johnnyís to take vacations when most people were working.

I went to my house at the outskirts of Osaka. It was a small house; it only had a bedroom, a bathroom, a kitchen and a living room. I was staying in my little house. I had inherited it from my grandmother. It was a nice get away place. No fan ever looked for us here. The entire group had keys; they were welcome to use my house too. I did have one rule, it was just for us. No girl friends, no non-Kanjani 8 Johnny's members.

Ryo had suddenly arrived that morning. His eyes looked haunted. He had thrown his suitcase in the corner of the living room. "I didn't expect anyone to be here."

"It is my house," I pointed out.

"Can I stay?" he asked. "I need some time away from everyone."

"Sure, I would like the company," I told him.

"I'll sleep on the couch," He volunteered.

"I don't mind sharing the bed,"

"I don't think that would be a good idea." Ryo lit a cigarette and went to the living room window. He looked out. "It's snowing."

"I like snow," I told him.

"I do too," Ryo didn't say anything else just take another puff on his cigarette.

********************

Later that morning I found Ryo looking out the window again. He just stared at the snow coming down. I was beginning to worry about him. He hadn't said very much at all. Ryo was usually very talkative. Now he was so quiet it was frightening.

"Is it still snowing?" I asked.

"Yeah, it is." Ryo sighed.

"Why don't you go now, before you get snowed in?" I suggested.

"If I go, I'll have to work. I'm tired of working." Ryo admitted. "The airport is still open. They'll make me go back to Tokyo."

"You're right; the agency will make you go back to Tokyo."

"I just want an excuse not to go to Tokyo for a few days." He sighed. "I don't usually mind being in two groups. But a break every once in a while would be nice."

"Why don't you ask them if you can take a few days off?" I suggested.

"We both know the agency won't do that." Ryo said as he lit a cigarette.

I knew the agency as well as Ryo did. They would put him back to work. Ryo rarely had any breaks. He never complained about his work load. He had understood the reason he was put in two groups.

Ryo continued to watch the snow. I wondered what was going on his mind. Was it his trip to Korea with Jin? I knew he had been written up for it. He had been allowed to go with Jin as his baby sitter. He was supposed to keep Jin out of trouble, but Jin had been caught drinking publically again. The agency had come down hard on Ryo, he had been fined and his pay cut. He was punished instead of Jin. Everyone knew it wasn't fair, but Jin was Johnny's golden boy, the way that Ryo had been once.

Ryo had called me after his meeting with Johnny-sama. The meeting had led to a huge fight between Ryo and Jin. That was when Ryo's whole personality had changed. Now weeks later, Ryo still hadn't gone back to what was his usual personality.

"If we get snowed in, can I stay here with you?" Ryo asked.

"You know you don't have to ask." I remind him. "It's your house too."

"You won't mind?" Ryo looked at me for a brief moment, his eyes confused.

"Of course I won't." I promised him.

"Thank you," A smile ghosted over his face, as soon as the smile was there, it was gone. He turned back to the window.

Ryo lapsed back into silence. I still wondered about him. Something was really, really bothering him. I also knew Ryo well enough to know that it was better not to ask him what it was.

*******************

The snow turned to freezing rain an hour later. There was a sound to freezing rain that snow didn't have. It was like small pebbles hitting the roof of the house. Ryo went back to the window, looking out of it.

"The ice is so beautiful." Ryo told me. "It makes the trees look like glass. Come look."

I went to the window. Ryo was right; the trees looked like they were made of crystal.

"Are you with anyone?" Ryo asked me very softly.

"If you mean dating?"

"Yeah, are you dating anyone?"

"No I'm not dating anyone." I admitted.

"I'm alone," he told me. "I broke up with Jin. He's never been true to me, and there's someone else I care for."

"You should tell the one you care for."

"No, I canít' tell him." Ryo whispered. "I know doesn't like me that way."

"I'm sorry,"

"I am too," Ryo moved away from the window. He went to the love seat and lit a cigarette. "I'd give anything if I was more to him then that little pest that used to bother him when we were kids."

*****************

The electricity went off an hour after the ice storm began. We moved the love seat into the kitchen and turned the gas oven on. With the kitchen doors closed, it keep the temperature live able. I could see our breaths in the air, so much like steam. We put on many layers of clothes. We also brought in as many blankets as we could find. Some of them were my grandmother's antique quilts.

Ryo found a quilt that he liked. It was made of blue and yellow fabrics. He wrapped it around himself, then as always went to the window. His eyes were distant, far away. I wondered if he was thinking of the one that he loved. I wanted to go to Ryo, to touch him. To show him just how wonderful love could be, but I couldn't. I wasn't the one he cared for.

I set a large plastic bowl of water on the back porch. Hopefully when I went to get it, it would be full of ice. I would then be able to put it in the freezer and save some of my food.

I worked on making dinner. It wasn't too hard, getting a roast out of the freezer and putting it in the oven along with some vegetables. It would be something hot to eat at least.

Ryo stood at the kitchen window and watched the freezing rain that continued for fall. I wanted to ask him what he was thinking of. But I knew it wasn't Ryo's way to tell me. It really wasn't my business anyway.

So I worked in the kitchen, getting the milk and other perishable food that were in the refrigerator and putting them on the back porch. It was colder then inside; at least some of the food would be saved.

It took a bit for Ryo to realize what I was doing. He helped me with my mission to save the food. When we were finished, he went back to the window. He looked even more depressed as he watched the ice.

******************

We slept on the love seat that night. It pulled out to be a twin bed. We piled all the blankets and quilts on the bed. We went to bed fairly early. It got really cold when the sun went down. Ryo curled up against me as he slept. I couldn't help but put my arms around him. There were times I wished I could hold Ryo and make his troubles go away. I wanted to teach him just how special he was.

I held Ryo for quite awhile as he slept, then I too found sleep overtaking me. Ryo's lips found mine as I fell to sleep. I kissed him back, I know I shouldn't have. Ryo was probably dreaming of the one that he had fallen in love with. The one that would never return his love.

When I woke, Ryo was at the window. He looked so alone as he watched the snow. I wanted to him, to hold him to let him know that someone did love him. But I knew I couldn't. I wasn't the one destined to give him the love he so desperately needed. I would have to keep my love for him to myself.

 

*********************************

 

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Ryo At The Window 2/3

         Feb. 5th, 2010 at 4:36 PM

FPRIVATE "TYPE=PICT;ALT=Ryo at the window"

Title: Ryo At The Window 2/3
Author: Kyoko_godaikun
Pairing: Ryo/Unnamed Kanjani 8 member
Genre: Angst/Romance
Summary: Ryo and another Kanjani 8 member are trapped in a small house during an ice storm.

 

I woke to the smell of something good. There was a pot of something cooking on the gas stove. Everything was a bit of a blur to me. I knew I should wear my glasses, but they steamed up when it was cold. So I left them in a drawer.

I sat up; Ryo was looking out the window. He was smoking again. He always did when he was worried. When would Ryo tell me what was bothering him?

I've known Ryo for a very long time. I knew him before we joined the agency. He lived down the street from my family, and his mother baby sat for my mother. He was the younger boy that I'd been ordered to play with. I think I might have loved him even then.

I got out of bed and went to the cupboard by the sink. I took out the bottles of supplements and my medicine. It's always easier to pass off the medicines I take for my medical conditions if I also take supplements. In all there are ten pills I take. Five are required by my doctor.

"Good morning Ryo-Chan," I told him.

"Good morning," He didn't look at me.

I went to the stove and stirred the pot. Inside was a thick stew. "Did you make this?"

"Yeah, from last night's left overís." He admitted. "I know it's strange to have stew for breakfast...."

"It's all right," I smiled. "Do you remember when we were kids your mom would make us stew for lunch?"

"Yeah, I followed her recipe."

I spooned out two bowls of stew. I brought one to Ryo. He took it from me. "Thank you."

I went to the love seat. I put up the blankets and folded up the bed. Then I sat down. I began to eat.

I was surprised when Ryo sat down beside me. It was a little bit of closeness. I knew it was a good thing for us to be sitting together. Ryo used to do that when he was a kid, suddenly he would be near me, and he wouldn't leave. He needed that togetherness.

"This is really good," I told him.

Ryo blushed a bit. "I'm glad you like it."

We ate in silence. I tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't answer me. He still was so very depressed. I wished I was someone who could make people laugh. I know I'm known for being funny, but it always takes an effort.

When I finished the bowl, Ryo took it from me. He poured me another. "We need to eat more. It takes calories to fight the cold."

"You're right, it does." I agreed. "If I had to be stuck in an ice storm with anyone, I'm glad it's you."

Ryo blushed again. I don't think he realizes he does it. I wonder if it's the cold that's' making him blush.

*********************

I won't even mention what Ryo was doing an hour after we ate. He was looking at the snow again. I began to rack my brain for things we could do to get his minds off of whatever was depressing him.

My friend was known for his sharp tongue. I had learned over the years to ignore it. Instead, I would watch his body language. Actions always spoke louder than words when it came to Ryo. My friend has a good heart, though he doesn't usually like to show it to others.

Ryo's a member of the group that if we had been in school would have been called the populars. I always thought that was why he really didn't mind being in two groups. He could hang with his gang of Tokyo friends. He had tried to introduce most of the Kanjani 8 groups into his group of friends-with mixed success. I never fit in with the populars. I'm too moody to ever fit in with them. My lack of popularity has never seemed to matter to my friend. Ryo might be very popular in the agency, but he always kept his oldest friends close to him.

I finally came up with the way I would get Ryo out of his bad mood. I kept a drawer in the kitchen filled with card games. I went to the drawer and took out the pack of UNO cards.

"Do you want to play UNO Ryo-Chan?" I asked.

"Sure," He shrugged he sat down on the love seat.

The love seat was too small for us to put the cards between us. Ryo looked around the room. He opened a cabinet and took out a pizza pan. Then he sat back down.

"We'll use this as a table." He decided. "We can put it on our knees."

"That's a good idea," I smiled.

"I want to deal," Ryo grabbed the cards out of my hand. He shuffled. "What are we going to play for?"

"What do you want to play for? Money?"

Ryo flinched. "No, not money."

I was then reminded that Ryo had his pay cut. "Sorry Ryo-chan. I didn't mean to bring that up."

"It's all right." He sighed. "It's not your fault."

I spotted a bag of treats on the kitchen shelf. "What about kisses?"

Ryo's eyes got huge. "You want to play for kisses? You want to kiss me?"

"Of course not," I lied. "I meant candy kisses."

Ryo breathed out a sigh of relief. "All right. We'll play for candy."

*******************

I realized I was an idiot as we played. Ryo was really, really good at UNO. To say he destroyed me was an understatement.

Ryo was smiling as we played. For the first time in weeks Ryo looked happy.

"Do you want to play again?" he asked me eagerly.

"I'm out of candy." When I saw his disappointed eyes I said quickly. "I'll have to play for virtual candy."

"Oh, you're going to owe me big time." he dealt the cards again.

We played, this time I won. I had a feeling that Ryo let me win. Even though he was good at games, he never liked anyone to be utterly defeated.

"You owe me some kisses." I teased.

Ryo gave me a look I had never seen from him before. His eyes were so serious. He took several kisses out of his bowl. "Here are some of my kisses."

I held my hand out. Ryo placed the candy on my palm. His fingers lingered over mine. The look he gives me. I feel as if he was staring into my soul. For the first time I wondered if I am the one he thinks would never love him? I want to say something, but I can't. I am so afraid if I do, he'll be frightened away.

"You better put your candy up." He breaks eye contact. "I'm going to win them back."

"Someday, I'll win all your kisses." I told him.

Ryo blushed again. He shuffled his cards. I realized I would have to be the one to make the first move.

*************

Around one we took a break for lunch. I busied myself making grilled cheese sandwiches. We still had some stew left over, so I knew we could eat that. Ryo didn't help me with the sandwiches. Instead, he cleaned a whole chicken. Then he prepared it for roasting. He put it in the oven; the temperature was low meaning that it would take several hours to cook.

"Do you want some beer?" I asked Ryo.

"Why do you have beer?" He asked me. "You don't drink."

Ryo was right, I don't drink. I've always taken medicines for my health conditions that have always had warnings stamped on the bottle that drinking alcohol was not recommended.

"I said; why do you have beer?" Ryo repeated. "If you drink you could get sick."

"I have it in case we have guests." I explained.

"I don't feel like anything." He told me. "I want to have a clear head today."

We sat on the love seat to eat. Ryo's stew tasted better as leftovers. I tried to make conversation with Ryo.

"How did you learn to roast a chicken?" I asked.

"I learned how to do that on an episode of Honjani." He explained. "You know, when we had to camp?"

"We did several of those." I reminded him.

"It was part of a batsu game. I had to cook for you guys while you went fishing." He smiled as he remembered. "That was back when you pierced your eyebrow."

"Oh yeah, I remember that," I took a bite of my stew. "I got written up for getting a facial piercing without permission."

"You were getting written up all the time back then." Ryo pointed out. "I was wondering. How did you get them to stop writing you up?"

"I started behaving." I began to concentrate on my food. I hadn't told Ryo the complete truth. I had a secret that if it ever got out would destroy the group we both loved. So to protect my friends, I learned to behave. I started to act like a good little clone.

************

I waited till after dinner to make my move on Ryo. I was terrified to get close to Ryo. What would happen once Ryo knew the truth about me? The illness that I had been hiding from the group. I knew what would happen if I had been wrong. Ryo would pull away from me, and laugh at me. Then I would never hear the end of it for the rest of my life.

Ryo was looking out the window again. He looked even more depressed.

"What are you watching?" I asked him.

"I can see houses that still have power." he told me.

"Do you want to try walking to one?"

"No, I'd rather stay here, with you." He admitted.

"Iím glad." I went to him; from behind I slipped my arms around his waist. Then I lied. "I know you don't feel the same way about me as I do for you. But can I hold you this way for a little while?"

I could feel him shudder against me. His voice sounded strange. "Yes, you can hold me."

For the first time I realized that Ryo was just as nervous as I was. I put my head on his shoulder. His hand moved so it was on top of my hands. It was shaking.

After a long while of holding him, I realized Ryo wouldnít' do anything else. Perhaps I had been wrong; perhaps I'm not the one that he liked.

I began to pull away from him. He grabbed my arm and turned so that he was facing him. "Please, don't let go of me."

"Ryo-Chan," I breathed.

"Don't let go of me," His voice was strained. . "I've always wanted for you to hold me."

I didn't have to think twice. I took Ryo in my arms. "I'll hold you as long as you want me to."

Ryo held me tightly in his arms for a long while. I could have rushed it, but I have always had a thing about hugs. Finally, he pulled away from me. Then he kissed me for the very first time. Ryo's lips were even softer than they were when he kissed me while he was sleeping.

Ryo finally pulled away from me. His eyes were so confused. "Are you sure you want this?"

"I've loved you for a very long time Nishikido Ryo." I confessed. I kissed him again.

Ryo pulled away from me. His face was so confused. "You love me?"

"More than my life,"

"You really love me." Ryo suddenly looked like he was about to cry. "I wish you hadn't told me that. It would have been so much easier if you hadn't. It was so much better when I thought my love was one sided. We can never be together my love."

"I don't understand why can't we be together?"

"I can't tell you...It would be best if you never know the truth." With that, Ryo ran out of the room into the freezing cold living room.

I looked around the kitchen, wracking my brain trying to figure out what was so wrong that Ryo couldn't be mine. Then I noticed the bottles of medicine sitting on the counter pushed up to the wall. I knew I had put mine up after I had taken them. I went to the bottles, I picked one up. The prescription was made out to Nishikido Ryo. I put the bottle back.

I now knew why Ryo was so upset. Ryo shared my secret. The secret that only the agency had know about. The truth that had kept me from even dating for six long years. I had been told that I would be fired if I told my secret to anyone. But Ryo needed me. He had to know that he wasn't alone in this. I grabbed his favorite quilt and went to the dark living room in search of Ryo.

 

****

The living room was really dark. I forgot how dark it got without power. I almost tripped over a foot stool. I had to run back into the kitchen and find a flashlight. I was really worried about Ryo. I didn't want my friend to freeze to death. I knew just how alone he felt. I felt that way for many years. He had to know that he wasn't the only one with his condition.

I finally found Ryo hiding in a dark corner, behind my grandmother's favorite chair. He was curled up in a ball. I could hear his teeth chattering. I knelt beside him, and then I put the blanket around his shoulders.

"You shouldn't have followed me." Ryo's voice was rough. "I need some time to think."

"This is my house; I can do whatever I want." I reminded him.

"Go to hell," He told me. It was a glimpse of the old Ryo.

"You're going to freeze to death in here."

"I'm going to die anyway. At least this way isn't so drawn out." Ryo reached up wiping his face. That was when I realized he was crying.

"You don't know if you're going to die." I told him.

"You don't know that I'm not dying." Ryo pulled himself into a tighter ball. "Perhaps I want to die. It would make all of this nightmare end."

I sat beside him. "You know you asked me why I stopped getting in trouble."

"Yeah, so?"

"I have a secret Ryo-chan. When Johnny-sama found out about my being positive, he cut my salary by two thirds. I was told that if I told anyone, I would be fired."

"So why talk to me about it? I mean, you'll get fired if I tell anyone."

"I don't think you would."

"Why do you trust me so much?"

"I was like you once.Ē I told him. ďI was very mad at the world. I blamed the world for my condition."

"How the hell could you be like me?" he demanded. "You donít have..."

"HIV?" I finished.

"No matter how much you feel sorry for me. You donít have HIV. Youíre not going to die because you loved the wrong person." Ryo insisted.

"You might be one of the lucky ones." I told him. "When I found out I had HIV, I slit my wrist. I wanted to die, not in ten years or so."

"You have HIV?" some of the anger left his voice. ďArenít you afraid youíre going to die?Ē

"No, Iím not afraid. I take my medicines every day, hoping that one day there will be a cure." I paused. "There has to be a cure found.Ē

ďEven with safe sex, people get it every day. More and more people die. Too many people." Ryo reminded me.

ďWe have to have hope. If we donít, the retrovirus wins.Ē

Ryo's teeth were still chattering. I was very, very worried about him. Plus I was cold too. Just because I was wearing two sweat shirts didn't mean that I was warm.

I was able to talk Ryo into going back to the kitchen. I guided him to the loveseat. I went to the stove and turned the flame on beneath the kettle.

******************

In a few minutes I was able to hand Ryo a steaming mug of peppermint tea. He held it between his hands as he tried to warm up. I took my own mug to the couch.

Ryo was being quiet again. I hoped the time it was simply because of his being cold. He concentrated himself on the mug of tea.

Ryo had been the first person I kissed in over six years. I had the secret that I was HIV. I was terrified that I would give my lover the virus. But even though we werenít' lovers, I felt as if I was with Ryo. I knew how hard it was for him to fall in love and know that his blood contained a ticking time bomb.

After many minutes, Ryo put his empty mug on the counter. Then he sat back down. His next question surprised me. "Who gave you HIV?"

"Does it really matter?" I asked.

"I want to go to him and beat him up." Ryo whispered.

"There's no need to beat up my former lover."

"Why didn't he insist on using safe sex?"

"My former lover didn't know that he was positive while we were lovers. He didn't know until his former lover was diagnosed." I tried to explain. "The lover called him. He was tested and found to be positive. Then I was tested. I too was positive."

"Jin told me if I really loved him, we wouldn't use protection." Ryo whispered. "I was such an idiot. I loved him, but all the time he was using me."

"How long have you known?"

"Eighteen months. Jin never told me that he was HIV positive. I wanted to leave him about a year ago. I had all ready fallen in love with you." Ryo tried to explain. "Then he told me the truth that he gave me HIV on purpose. He wanted to take away my ability to love anyone else. I stayed with him, I guess because I had nowhere else to go."

"What changed that?"

"What happened in Korea changed my mind. He betrayed me to Johnny-sama." He remembered. "Johnny-sama wouldn't believe my story that Jin was the one that made me positive. Instead he believed Jin. I'm being punished for giving him HIV."

"The next time I see Jin, I'm going to punch him." I decided.

"What does that matter? I'm going to die soon."

"We're all going to die one day." I reminded him. "We should make the most of the time we have to be together."

"I didn't think we would be so much alike. We've gone through the same pain. I feel as if you understand me." he croaked. "I love you so much."

"I love you too." I kissed him very, very gently.

*******************

I felt like we were teenagers as was sat on the loveseat kissing. We kissed for quite awhile. I was trying to let Ryo take the lead. But after ten minutes of simply kissing I realized that Ryo was still probably too afraid to take the lead in anything. As we kissed I put my hand on his leg and moved upwards slowly. Until my hand was on top of his hardness. I stroked it roughly through his jeans. Ryo sighed and unconsciously moved his hips into my strokes.

"I want to make love to you," My voice was harsh as I pulled away from him. .

"I want that too,"

I looked around the room quickly thinking of the place for our first time. The floor was out of the question, way too cold. I realized I really wanted to do him on the kitchen cabinet. I put a blanket on the cabinet.

I could hear Ryo behind me; I wasnít sure what he was doing.

"I don't think we need to use safe sex," Ryo told me. "We're both positive."

"We're still going to use safe sex Ryo-Chan," I tried to smile. "If you want to know it's because I love you."

Ryo went around me, he was nude. He got up onto the cabinet. Then he picked up the tube of lube I had set out. He split his legs, moving one leg onto the cabinet, his foot against the blanket, and then he leaned back so I could see what he was doing. He lubed his fingers, plunging one into himself without preparation. His eyes flickered shut.

"I know this sounds like a weird kink," Ryo moaned. "But I want you to do me with your clothes still on."

"You like it that way?"

I watched fascinated as he put the second, then a third finger inside himself. After a few moments, he was fucking himself with all his fingers. He arched back, his eyes flickered shut and began to pinch one of his nipples. His penis bobbed in time with every thrust of his fingers.

Ryo moaned my name. I didn't realize how sexy my own name would sound coming from his lips.

Ryo was the sexiest man alive as he made love to himself. I wanted him badly. I found the condom on the counter, unzipped my jeans, pulling them down. Then I rolled the condom onto my hardness.

I reached out, running my hand down his body. He shuddered against my fingers.

"Are you ready for me?" I asked.

"Oh god yes," he whispered.

He removed his fingers and moved as close to the edge as he could. I moved closer to him, I wanted to act slowly, but his loving himself had left me so turned on I couldn't.

"Make me yours," He begged. "Take me as a right of conquest. Don't worry, you won't hurt me. I want to feel your power."

I pushed myself fully into him. Ryo moaned, grabbing at me. He sat up while I was inside him, holding me close in his arms. He held me tightly as I began to thrust hard. His legs wrapped around me.

It felt so good for finally have Ryo. We didn't talk as we loved. There was no need for words. Instead, we concentrated on our feelings. Ryo was so warm around me. He was tight, almost virgin tight. I wanted to be inside him forever. He moved, trying to meet every thrust with a movement of his own.

Then the thoughts left my mind, and all I could do was make love to him, harder, even harder. Ryo began to cry in time with my thrusts. I put a hand between our bodies, finding his erection, jerking it hard in time with my thrusts.

Ryo arched back, screaming my name. I could feel him spasming around my penis. Then he filled my hand with his cum. I tried to push through the resistance of his body, but it was too much. I came too.

I stayed inside of Ryo as long as I could. We kissed gently in the afterglow. Ryo was mine, he was finally mine.

***********************

It was all ready light when I woke up the next morning. It was also warmer, though both of us were nude. My lover held me the same way he did the night before, but this time it was different, I knew I was his. I belonged to someone. When I found out my HIV status, I thought that love was impossible. Now it was holding me, letting me know I wasn't alone.

I had spent hours at the window, staring out at it. Wishing I could be free from the curse that would one day take my life. Hating myself for being HIV positive while at the same time, the man I loved more than anything also was HIV positive.

I didn't get up to look out the window. Before, when I looked out the window I could see my new lover in the reflection. I could stare at him without his knowing about it. I knew I was too old to stare at the one I was in love with. Watching my loverís reflection I could wish my fate was a different one. I could love him and realize we could have a long happy life together.

My lover is so gorgeous. I know that some people think heís too thin, that heís too short. That heís really still a rebel with a skull tattoo. I loved watching him. Now I knew I could look at him, and I knew he didn't mind. We were lovers, it was normal for lovers to look at each other.

I now knew why Johnny-sama had insisted he be the red eito ranger. It had been a horrible joke on Johnny Samaís part. It was a public reminder of my lover's HIV. That someday my lover would get full blown AIDs and die.

Then I realized it was warm, really warm. Not just the warmth generated by a gas oven. The lights were also on.

I could feel Subaru stir against me. His eyes flickered open. "Good morning."

"Morning Baru chan." I couldn't help but smile. "The power's back on."

"Oh that's too bad," Subaru smiled his special smile at me. "I was enjoying keeping each other warm."

"We can still do that." I teased. I reached out, tracing the outline of his face. "We're still snowed in."

"Perhaps we'll be snowed in for years." Subaru wished.

"That would be wonderful," I agreed as I rolled over, pulling Subaru on top of me.

It wasn't fair that Subaru had to keep his HIV to himself for six long years. He was so much like me, he had been afraid to love. In a way, I was glad he waited. It made what we had very special.

We have each other. It might be for six months, it might be for six years. It might even be for sixty years. No one really knows how long love will last. Nothing, not fate, not the HIV retrovirus will take our love from each other. As Subaru loved me yet again, I vowed that as long as I could love, I would be his.