Title: Of Candy Canes and Cocoa
By Sentaikat aka Kyoko_godaikun
They had been friends almost from the day they joined the agency. But always just that, friends. Even when they became roommates, nothing really changed.
They had become roommates after Maru had moved out of the apartment Koki shared to live with his new lover Junno. That left Koki and Kame without roommates, so it seemed natural for the two to share an apartment. When they began to work on a drama together, the move seemed even easier to the pair.
Then there was the day that Tanaka Koki looked at Kamenashi Kazuya, and Kame knew he was in love. Soon after that day, the friends began to date. Nothing big, Koki wasn't the type to have big formal dates. Just something simple, like watching a movie together, or taking a walk in the park.
Kame loved his dates with Koki. . Like many of their dates, this one they went to the local park and ate ramen at Koki's favorite stand. It was a cold December evening, and they had just finished with a long day of filming. Kame knew they should be going somewhere inside to eat. But Koki just adored the stand. Kame sat at a table watching his friend. Koki liked ordering for Kame.
Koki brought the bowls of ramen to the table. He set one on his side of the table, and the other he put in front of Kame. Then very gently, he said. "Here Kazu-chan."
"Thank you," Kame smiled at Koki. His friend smiled back. He sat down and handed a pair of chopsticks to Kame. Then he picked up his own. Kame began to eat.
"How long has it been since you started dating him?" Koki asked.
"About three months." Kame shrugged. Kame always thought it was odd that Koki always referred to his real self in the third person. But then, the person Kame always saw when they were alone together was almost like someone else.
"But you like him."
"I love him." Kame admitted.
Koki flinched and looked away from him. Kame kicked himself inwardly. Koki hated talking about love. After a very long pause, Koki said. "Have you been with him yet?"
"No, not yet." Kame admitted. "What we have had so far has been more casual."
'Do you want to be with him?" Koki suddenly looked very depressed.
"Of course I do." Kame said in a rush. "But I want my first time with him to be special."
"Are you sure you want to be with him?" Koki looked at Kame. "He's a pain in the ass."
"That's what everyone else sees," Kame told him. "What I see when he's with me is someone kind, gentle. A soul so wonderful that I wish the world could see it. He's never gruff, or cranky with me."
"I'll make the first time with him special." Koki promised. "Christmas eve is very romantic. Why I don't I arrange it so your first time is on Christmas Eve?"
"All right," He smiled at Koki. His friend smiled back at him, but in his eyes, Kame could see sadness.
Kame was in love. It hurt to hear the words from Kame. His friend had been going out with Yamapi since Nobota. They had started their relationship back up after Kame had begun to work on the drama with Koki. Every time Kame talked about Yamapi, his face lit up. Once just once, Koki wished the looks were for him. That their small dates were more then just friends going out.
"Let's get some cocoa." Kame suggested after they had ate Ramen. They had a tradition of getting a hot drink after their supper.
"It's getting rather late," Koki reminded him.
"Come on," Kame grabbed his hand, and drug Koki to the small stand were hot drinks were sold.
The owner was beginning to pack up her things. But she smiled when he saw Koki and Kame. "You caught me at a good time. I was just about to close."
"Do you have any cocoa left?" Kame asked.
The woman checked the pot. "Just enough for one cup."
"We'll share," Kame said quickly.
The woman smiled again. She poured the cup of cocoa, and added a peppermint candy cane as a stirrer.
She handed it to Kame. Who paid her, they walked off together.
Kame took a drink. "This tastes wonderful. Want some?"
Koki took the cup from him, and took a drink. Kame was right, it did taste wonderful. He passed the cup back to his friend, who took another drink. As he did, he looked into Koki's eyes. Then he passed the cup back to Koki.
*He loves someone else,* Koki reminded himself as he took another drink. But it was romantic to Koki, very romantic to share the cocoa with the one he loved.
Finally, they finished the cocoa. Kame then licked the candy cane. He held it out to Koki who licked it too. Then Kame put it in his mouth, and began to suck. Koki felt his midsection tighten. Kame took his hand, and they walked together down the pathway.
When they were finished with the candy cane, Kame threw away the used cocoa cup. Then he turned back to Koki. "What's wrong?"
"Have you ever loved someone so much it makes your chest hurt?" Koki asked.
"That's how I feel about my love." Kame said, and then he did something unexpected. He kissed Koki. He sighed and gave into the kiss. Koki knew it was wrong, that Kame loved someone else. But at the moment, all Koki could think about was the feel of Kame's lips on his.
Finally, Koki pulled away from Kame. Kame smiled at him. "We better get home. We have an early day tomorrow."
Koki took Kame's hand and they walked back to their apartment.
It was Christmas Eve, Kame couldn't believe it. All Kame could think about was the date that Koki had planned for them. They had kissed several times in the week after their last date. Every time, Koki had stopped the kissing from moving onto love making. Kame couldn't believe his friend was such a romantic. But it made him feel special.
Finally, after all this time, they would be lovers. He changed the sheets on his bed. They couldn't have their first time on dirty sheets.
He had just finished the bed, when Koki walked into the room. He looked at the bed, and then at Kame, again, he looked depressed. "Diner is almost ready."
"I should get dressed then," Kame went to the closet. Then he realized, if they would have their first time tonight, he wanted to dress the way Koki wanted him to. "I don't know what I should wear."
Koki went to the closet. He picked out a black silk shirt and black denim pants. "You always look good in this."
Kame took the clothes from him. "Watch me dress."
"All right," Koki sat down on the bed, and watched Kame get ready for the date. It was strangely erotic to Kame. Having the man he loved watch him get ready for their first time. Koki had a strange look of desire and sadness as he watched Kame. Kame put on his clothes, then brushed his hair. Finally he sprayed on the cologne that Koki said he liked.
Then Kame went to Koki and tried to kiss him. Koki pulled away from him, his finger's caressed Kame's cheek. Koki's eyes grew even sadder. "You have plans for tonight."
The bell rang. Koki ran to answer it. Kame could hear him talking to someone. Then he heard the door shut.
Kame went into the living room. Expecting Koki to be waiting for him. Instead, he found a very puzzled looking Yamapi.
Yamapi looked over Kame. "If you wanted to date me, you should have told me that yourself."
"Where is Koki?" Kame demanded.
"He left," Yamapi shrugged. "He said he wanted to give us some privacy."
"Why would I want privacy with you?" Kame asked puzzled.
"Koki told me that you were in love with me." Yamapi looked him over. "I mean that's nice and all. But I'm with Maruyama."
"Sorry, Yama, but I'm not in love with you." Kame said. "I really don't want to date you."
"Why would he think you wanted to date me?"
"I told him the man I loved was gruff, cranky." Then he realized he had eaten out after work with Yamapi. But it wasn't anything serious. Not when Yamapi constantly talked about Maruyama. "You know, personality wise, the two of you are a lot alike."
Yamapi gave half a smile. "I don't mean to interfere with your strange relationship with Koki, but I think you better go after him."
"What about you?"
"Maruyama's waiting for me at the hotel." Yamapi smiled and left.
Koki walked through the park. It was very cold, and snowing. He ignored both, hoping they would go away. The park had always been the place he could hide away from everyone. But that was before he started to date Kame. It had become their park. He realized he would never be able to come back. It brought back too many memories for him. He could remember the time they had drank cocoa together. They seller had sold them his final cup. He had shared it with Kame. Then they had shared their first kiss.
He tried not to think of Kame, but his mind wouldn't just let him go. Kame, the one he loved more then anything in on the Earth. Kame who right now probably loved his new lover. Kame would give his special smile to Yamapi.
Giving Kame to Yamapi had been the hardest thing Koki had ever done. Watching Kame getting ready, all excited for the date with Yamapi made Koki feel as if his heart was being pulled out of his chest. But he loved Kame so much that he had to think of his friend's happiness and not just his own. If only Kame hadn't tried to kiss him. That had made him want to put his arms around his friend and kiss him back. But he couldn't. Kame had someone else.
Then Koki realized that Kame was standing against a snow covered tree. He wasn't dressed for the cold, wearing only a thin jacket.
"Why aren't you with your date?" Koki tried to keep the hurt out of his voice.
. "Why, Koki, why?" Kame looked on the verge of tears.
"What do you mean?"
"Why did you make tonight so special? My favorite food, my favorite brand of beer." Kame sounded hurt. "Why promise me that I would finally be with the one I love, and then leave?"
"You were with the one you love, Yamapi."
"Why would I love Yamapi?"
"He's gruff with a soft heart. You've been dating after the show you worked on." Koki began to list. "He has a beautiful smile."
"He might be all those things," Kame came closer to him. "Perhaps many more of those things, but he's not the one that makes my heart flip every time he smiles at me."
"Then tell me who it is, and I'll arrange for you to be with him."
"Promise me you will." Kame got even closer so that they were almost touching. "Promise you wont' run away when you hear who I love, who is the other half of my soul. Who makes the worst day on earth wonderful, simply because he smiled at me."
"I won't run away." Koki promised.
Kame reached out, touching Koki's cheek. Then he kissed Koki's lips very gently.
Koki pulled away from Kame. "Please Kazu-chan; don't play with me like this."
"You promised to get me the one I love," Kame said seriously. "Look inside yourself. To that gentle, romantic soul that you share with only me. That soul is the one I love. Bring him to me."
Koki couldn't believe his ears. "Kazu-chan,"
"If you don't care for me, I understand." Kame told him. "But tell me the truth. If you feel the way I feel for you, and then please, bring him to me...”
Koki took Kame's hand in his. His friend wasn't wearing gloves, and it was snowing. He brought Kame's fingers to his lips, and ran his lips over the fingers. "The one you love is scared. He's never been in love before."
Suddenly Kame was kissing Koki's lips. This time Koki sighed and gave into the kiss. Kazuya, his Kazuya loved him. It was cold outside, but Koki was warmed by the love of Kame.
Kame pulled away from him a little bit. "Merry Christmas Koki-Chan."
"Merry Christmas," Koki kissed him again. Then he pulled away from Kame. He wanted more from his friend, but not in the middle of a snow storm. "It's very cold out here. Let's go back to our apartment."
"All right," Kame smiled his special smile for Koki. The one that Koki realized was just for him.